商务英语11

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Conciseness

Effective writing is concise—each word, sentence, and paragraph counts. Conciseness means to write in the fewest possible words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy.
By courtesy we mean treating people with respect and friendly human concern. Effective writers visualize the reader before starting to write. They consider the reader’s desires, problems, circumstances, emotions and probable reactions to their request.
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Practice: avoid unnecessary repetition of words or ideas
The
consensus of opinion is that the tax is unfair. The consensus is that the tax is unfair. Please endorse your name on the back of this check. Please endorse this check.
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1.
2.
To create that bar chart, you must key the information into a spreadsheet file. Although she was tied up, Sonia had to complete the feasibility report.
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Eliminate dangling modifiers
1.
2.
To create that bar chart, the information must be keyed into a spreadsheet (电子数 据表)file. Although tied up, the feasibility report had to be completed.
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Avoid fragments
A
sentence fragment lacks either a subject (Actor) or verb (Action). My research report in business communication took a long time to prepare. And turned out badly. My research report in business communication took a long time to prepare, but it turned out badly.

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Criteria for Effective Business Writing—6Cs

Courtesy Correctness Conciseness

Clarity Concreteness Completeness
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Courtesy
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Correctness

Correct grammar, punctuation and spelling are basic requirements for business writing. In addition, correctness means choosing the correct level of language, and using accurate information and data.
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Practice: eliminate surplus words
There
are five rules that should be observed. Five rules should be observed. In the period between June and August they found the error. Between June and August they found the error.
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We have taken the check which was unsigned to the bank. The three –year budgets, which have some serious defects, are being returned to the committee.
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Example 1
Dear
Sirs, we are sorry you have misunderstood us. (×) Dears Sirs, we are sorry we didn’t make ourselves clear. (√) We cannot understand why you have had trouble with these articles. (×) We presume that there must be some reasons for you having trouble with these articles. (√)
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To entertain
To have an adequate knowledge of the English language and an understanding of human nature. To have an acquaintance with the particular interest and, if possible, the emotions of the reader. To retain the reader’s goodwill.
BUSINESS WRITING
Overview
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Functions of Business Writing
1. 2. 3.
To inform To influenc10/27
2
To inform
To
convey the vast amount of information needed to complete the day-to-day operations of the business.
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Avoid comma splices
A
comma splice results when two sentences are incorrectly joined or spliced together with a comma. Profits were down in 2010, the Board blamed the recession. Profits were down in 2010. The Board blamed the recession.
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Avoid Sentence Faults
See the following examples: Avoid fragments(不完整的句子). Avoid comma splices（逗号拼接）. Avoid run-on sentences（连写句）. Eliminate misplaced elements. Eliminate dangling modifiers(垂悬修 饰语) .
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Clarity
have the receiver understand a body of information and concentrate on the logical presentation of the content.
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To
To influence
To
influence the reader’s attitudes and actions.
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Example 3

We do not anticipate any increase in prices in the near future. (Poor) We do not expect prices to rise soon. (Better) Owing to the fact that your competitor’s price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. (Poor) Because your competitor’s price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. (Better)
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Example 2
Enclosed
is the copy of receipt. (×)
Enclosed is a copy of the receipt. (√)

I am looking for another sales channels. (×) I am looking for other sales channels. (√)