雅思写作 大作文范文赏析

雅思写作大作文范文赏析
题目：In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
话题和题型分类
教育类，原因对策型
题目分析
许多国家的学校在管理学生表现方面存在严重问题
思路提示
原因:
文化习俗，传统习惯
欠缺正确的教育理论
学校利益与学生追求不一致
学生的叛逆心理
对策:
教育者对学生的心理能够科学掌握
校方积极听取学生诉求
通过社会和传统文化来约束
Sample Answer
Poor student behaviour seems to be an increasingly widespread problem. Many experts insist that it is because of the students’individual qualities, but others advocate that it is not so simple like that. As I see it, domestic education, classmates in school and the whole education environment are factors that contribute to this problem.
（首段摆明观点: 学生不良行为的原因包括家庭教育、学校同学以及整个教育制度的影响）
One very strong argument is that domestic education is not enough to regulate student behaviour. Many people are convinced that family is the first teacher for a child. A person’s temperament forms when he or she is young and the families’behaviour can be learnt by children easily. Thus if their families behave horribly, they may do so. One of the solution to the
problem lies with the families, who need to be more aware of the future consequences of spoiling their children. Perhaps parenting classes are needed to help them to do raise their children to be considerate of others and responsible individuals.
（文章第二段论述导致学生不良行为的第一个原因）
Another factor which must be taken into consideration is that school is also an environment for students to learn from each other. If a student always communicates and studies with his classmates, he can learn others’behaviours in a short time, including bad performance. Consequently, school environment cannot be neglected. High quality elementary schools could be established that would support families more in terms of raising the next generation.
（文章第三段论述导致学生不良行为的第二个原因）
Last but not least, the whole education environment of a nation is also crucial for student behaviour. Some students under great pressure may behave terribly. If education department lays a too heavy burden on students, they may be stressed out, give up studying and thus do something harmful. To solve this problem, the government should publish some guidance for students’
school work which specifies students’leaning objectives and make some changes to alleviate burdens on students.
（文章第四段，论述导致学生不良行为的第三个原因）
From the above views, I hold the opinion that the terrible behaviour of the students is not only the responsibility of themselves, but also of other factors including family, classmates and education environment.
（全文总结再次重申观点）
满分要素剖析：
语言表达
本文没有刻意用长难句，使用动词不定式等使得语言更简洁明了，客观清晰的地表达了作者的观点。

One very strong argument is that domestic education is not enough to regulate student behaviour.句型One very strong argument is that…可用于议论文中摆出论据。

Another factor which must be taken into consideration is that school is also an environment for students to learn from each
other.句型Another factor which must be taken into consideration is that…可用于议论文中摆出另一论据。

逻辑结构
本文是总分总结构的议论文。

开篇先陈述事实并表达观点，二、三、四三段分别论述造成学生不良行为的三个原因以及解决方案，使得论证更加全面。

最后一段对全文进行总结，并重申自己的观点。

题目：Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
话题和题型分类
政府类，同意不同意型
题目分析
创作艺术家自由表达观点是否应该受到政府控制
思路提示
同意
有些艺术观点危害大众利益，需要受到限制
部分不当观点具有煽动性，不利于社会稳定
有的艺术创作内容不适宜特定人群欣赏，应该予以指导
不同意
百花齐放、百家争鸣代表了思想的自由和繁荣
自由表达艺术观点可以推动新概念的诞生
欣赏者可以从更大的范围中选择自己可以从中受启发的艺术观点Sample Answer
In a real democracy, people should enjoy the freedom of speech. Everyone should be able to freely convey his or her ideas and views. This kind of freedom must be retained when it comes to artistic creations.
（首段开篇摆明观点:艺术创作应该享有充分的言论自由）
Freedom of speech is a basic right for all citizens, more so for artists. The ideas of an artist are often expressed not in their speeches but through their artistic work. Denying freedom is a kind of oppression. Only a government without the mandate
over its people would fear free speech. Dictators, for example, never allow the people to criticize the government.
（文章第二段，从正反两面进行论述，使得论述更加客观辩证）
Art is all but impossible without the freedom of expression. Artists reproduce the world as they see it, making art a reflection of the real world. An artist may choose any part of the world as his or her subject and approach from his or her unique angle. No two artists perceive the world in quite the same way. If restrictions are imposed on certain areas and subjects, if artists can only approach an issue in ways approved by the authority, and if they are in fear of punishment for truly expressing their ideas, art ceases to be art.
（文章第三段，进一步从正反两面进行论述）
Of course, artists should abide by the law while enjoying the freedom of expression. Therefore, their artwork cannot be, for instance, pornographic. They must not slander other people or spread vicious lies. Freedom does not mean doing whatever one likes but doing whatever one likes so long as one does not infringe on others’freedom or rights.
（文章第四段，清晰表明了自由的定义）
Therefore, governments should not impose censorship or restrictions on artists’creation unless the work is harmful to others in some way. Artists should have their freedom of expression as long as this freedom is not as an excuse for illegal activities.
（最后一段，最后陈述观点）
满分要素剖析：
语言表达
本文的语言简洁明了，没有刻意用长难句，旨在客观清晰的表达作者的观点。

同时本文分别
从正反两面论述观点，从论证手法上来说，就非常客观和辩证。

If restrictions are imposed on certain areas and subjects, if artists can only approach an issue in ways approved by the authority, and if they are in fear of punishment for truly expressing their ideas, art ceases to be art.
句型If…, if…, if…通过排比，可增强语气，强调观点。

Freedom does not mean doing whatever one likes but doing whatever one likes so long as one does not infringe on others’freedom or rights.
句型…does not mean…but…，通过正反两面观点的对比，突出作者的观点。

Therefore, governments should not impose censorship or restrictions on artists’creation unless the work is harmful to others in some way.
句型Therefore,…should/ should not…是很好的议论文总结句型，能够重申观点。

逻辑结构
本文是典型的总分总结构的议论文。

开篇先陈述事实并表达观点，第二、第三段各从正反两面对观点进行论述，使得论证更加客观严谨。

第四段则提出定义，为结尾的总结做了铺垫。

最后一段对全文进行总结，并重申自己的观点。