五年级英语笑话
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子英语笑话大全笑你的肚子笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【1】1、Would you like to be the sun in my life?A: Would you like to be the sun in my life?你想成为我生命中的太阳吗?B: Aww, Yes!哇哦!当然想。
A: Very well, then. Stay XX miles away from me.很好，那么赶紧到距离我XX里远的地方吧。
2、How much do you love me?A: How much do you love me?你有多么喜欢我?B: As many as the stars in the sky.和天上的星星一样多。
A: Good! ... Wait! It’s daytime now...太好了...等等，现在是白天啊!B: T here’s no stars in the sky in the daytime.没错，白天的天空上没有星星。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【2】1 Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You’re a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事1.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事visual training视力训练the squad(班，小队) were having “visual training”. one smart recruit(新兵，招募) was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway(遥远的，恍惚的.) that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly(迅速地) the recruit replied：班里正在进行“视力训练”。
一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。
采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。
但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
“sixteen men and a sergeant(中士，军士) , sir.”“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。
”“right, but how do you know there’s a sergeant there?”“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?”“he’s not doing any digging, sir.”“他不干活，长官。
”2.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事这钟准吗?Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city.丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。
Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,每天都有数千人经过他的门口，and a lot of them stopped and asked him, “What’sthe time, please?”而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, “I’m not going to answer all those stupid people any more.几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，I’m going to buy a big clock我要去买一只大钟，and put it upon the wall here.”把它挂在这儿的墙上。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
小学五年级英语故事
小学五年级英语故事通过阅读英语笑话、故事等趣味英语，可以激发小学生们学英语的兴趣，提高单词量，帮助他们提高成绩。
最好每天背一篇，会有不错的效果的 O(∩_∩)O寓言故事Story 1 Three Good FriendsOne day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant es along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them bee good friends.故事一三个好朋友一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。
这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。
他非常的害怕，掉进河里。
他不会游泳，大叫起来。
兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。
幸运的是，一只大象过来了。
大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。
他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。
从此他们成了好朋友。
Story 2 A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."故事二好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
210530705_English_Jokes_英语笑话
河南固始信合外国语小学 陈妮妮 编译English Jokes 英语笑话1. A toothbrush and a broom牙刷和扫帚甲：当这把牙刷老了的时候，它会变成什么呢？乙：一把扫帚。
A: What will the toothbrush become when it grows older?B: A broom.792. An automobile汽车甲：什么东西由10个字母组成，而且还靠汽油发动？乙：汽车。
A: What has ten letters and starts with gas?B: An automobile.3. Because the bed won 't come to you因为床不会到你这里来孩子：爸爸，我为什么要去床上睡觉？爸爸：因为床不会到你这里来。
Kid: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed?Dad: Because the bed won’t come to you.4. Tonight is the final game今晚是决赛一个男人晚上睡不着，所以他去看医生。
他对医生说：“医生，每天晚上我都在梦中踢足球。
”医生说：“吃这些药，它们会帮助你睡好的。
”男人说：“我不能接受它们，因为今晚是决赛。
”A man could not fall asleep at night, so he went to a doctor. He said to the doctor, “Doctor, every night in my dream I am playing soccer.”The doctor said, “Take these pills. They will help you sleep better.”The man said, “I can’t take them, as tonight is the final game.”5. Because there was extra time因为有加时赛汤姆是一名小学生。
英语笑话100篇带翻译【五年级好笑的英语笑话带翻译】
英语笑话100篇带翻译【五年级好笑的英语笑话带翻译】唱歌、笑话是学生乐于参与的形式,遇到教学难点,通过它们来降低难度,减轻学生负担,起到了事半功倍的效果。
X分享五年级好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!五年级好笑的英语笑话带翻译：Bat ProblemThree pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've triedeverything----noise, spray,cats----nothing seems to scare them away."Another said, "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've been had the place fumigated,and they still won't go away.""The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven't seen one back since!"蝙蝠的问题三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。
其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。
”另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。
在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。
24107737_English_Jokes_英语笑话
English Jokes 英语笑话【美】Marshall's Talent Education, LLC. 龚珍妮 编译1. You have no more wishes!你再也没有希望了！A young kid found an old lamp. As always the lamp was rubbed anda genie appeared granting 3 wishes.Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!Kid: I wish Maths didn’t exist.Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!一个小孩发现了一盏旧灯。
照例，灯被擦了又擦，这时一个精灵出现了，满足那个小孩三个愿望。
精灵：我会满足你三个愿望！孩子：我希望数学不存在。
精灵：好了！你再也没有愿望了！Notes:kid n.小孩 appear v.出现found v.（find的过去式）发现 grant v.准许 as always像往常一样 wish n.希望；愿望rub v.擦拭 exist v.存在 genie n.精灵 no more不再613. The sun is closer to us太阳距离我们更近Johnny is a Canadian boy. He is in Grade 5. His English is good. His Mathsis good. His History is good. But he is poor in Geography.One day, Johnny and his classmates are having a Geography class. The teacher asks them a question, “Which one is closer to us, the sun or Africa?”Johnny raises his hand and says, “Of course, the sun.”The teacher can not believe his answer. He asks Johnny, “Are you sure?”Johnny says, “Sure!”Then the teacher asks him, “Why?”Johnny says, “You know, sir. We can see the sun every day, but we can’t see Africa.”约翰尼是一个加拿大男孩。
关于五年级英语节手抄报内容资料
关于五年级英语节手抄报内容资料英语课程标准本质上也是一种特殊的文化。
做英语手抄报是一个学习英语的好方法。
下面是为大家带来的关于五年级英语节手抄报内容资料，希望大家喜欢。
关于五年级英语节手抄报的图片模板一、英语笑话The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'.""My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'." The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, "she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。
五年级笑话大全 爆笑简短范文(精选3篇)
五年级笑话大全爆笑简短范文(精选3篇)五年级笑话大全爆笑简短篇11、蚂蚁一个一年级的小朋友一回到教室就告诉教师：“老师，厕所里有好多蚂蚁!”女老师点点头，忽然想到蚂蚁(ant)这个词的英语一开学就教过了，想看看小朋友是否还记得，便问：“那蚂蚁怎么说?”2、求婚二年级的小芳很可爱，常常被班上小男生缠着。
有一天，小芳回家后跟妈妈说：“妈咪，今天小强跟我求婚，要我嫁给他……”妈妈漫不经心地问：“他有固定的工作吗?”小芳想了想，说：他是我们班上负责擦黑板的。
”3、低估了儿子同事大鹏领着女儿来家里玩。
小女孩打扮得也很可爱，言谈举止，跟一个小大人似的。
说实话，一下子我就喜欢上她了。
晚上，我主动问儿子：“你看，今天来的小女孩，年龄跟你差不多，你觉得她怎么样?”其实，我主要想通过儿子对她的印象，而鼓励儿子向人家学习。
结果，儿子竟然反问：“你是不是想让我跟她谈恋爱?”4、长大了想当老师家有幼女，芳龄四岁半。
平素胆小，不好与生人交谈。
但不鸣则已，一鸣惊人。
过年了，有不常来的叔叔阿姨来串门，她一人正趴在桌上涂鸦画画，煞有模样。
阿姨在旁问：“幼幼(女儿乳名)，画什么呢?”女儿不语。
“嗯，画得真不错，长大了想当画家?”仍不语。
“哦，阿姨猜错了，给阿姨说说，长大想当什么?”生疏感渐渐远去，抬起小头，稚嫩地说：“想当老师!”“哦，不错，那再给阿姨说说，想当什么老师?”女儿一脸诧异：“我姓王，当然当王老师了，这么简单还不知道?”5、教书小学三年级班上有一个聪明伶俐的学生，但是要他静下来听课却很费劲。
有一天他对老师说：“我懂的东西够多了，没有必要继续读书了。
”老师：“噢，真的?你只读到三年级，打算做什么?”学生：“教二年级。
”五年级笑话大全爆笑简短篇21声母(生母)：小明上小学一年级，总是分不清声母和韵母，老师考他：“耶”和“华”的声母是哪个?小明答：“生母”玛丽亚。
2老师早：有一天，学校邀请家长到校参观上课情况，上午第一节课，学生向老师问好，说：“老师早。
五年级的英语小笑话带翻译
五年级的英语小笑话带翻译笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。
下面是店铺带来的五年级的英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎欣赏!五年级的英语小笑话带翻译篇1A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for theoccasion.有一家公司开幕，老板的其中一位朋友为了这件太事要送他花。
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,他们到达了新的公司地点，老板读了卡片的内容："Rest in Place."“安息吧”。
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.老板非常生气就打电话给花店抱怨。
After he had told the florist of the obvious mitake就在他告诉花店这项明显的错误，and how angry he was ,以及他有多么生气之后，the florist replied,花庙却回答说："Sir,I am really sorry for the mistake,“先生，我真的对于这项错误感到十分抱歉，but rather than getting angry,但是与其生气，you should imagine this :你还不如应当想象somewhere there is a funeral taking place today,以下这个情况：今天有一个地方在举行葬礼，and they have flowers with a note saying,他们收到了花，还附上一张纸条说：‘Congratulations on your new location' "‘恭喜新居落成!”’五年级的英语小笑话带翻译篇2A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.有一个男的去看医生，诉说着失眠的苦恼。
五年级好笑的英语笑话大全-好笑的英语笑话1500字
五年级好笑的英语笑话大全-好笑的英语笑话1500字1. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!3. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!4. What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!5. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!6. Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!7. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!8. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!9. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!10. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!11. Why don't dinosaurs talk?Because they're all dead!12. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!13. What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh!14. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!15. What did one volcano say to the other?I lava you!16. How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie in it!17. Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!18. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!19. How do you organize a space party?You planet!20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!。
五年级英语课前三分钟笑话
五年级英语课前三分钟笑话1I Could Do It Slower我可以干得慢一些Patient：What do you charge for pulling a tooth？病人：拔一颗牙收费多少？Dentist：Fifty dollars.牙医：50美元。
Patient：Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes'work？病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元？Dentist：Well，I could do it slower，if you like.牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。
五年级英语课前三分钟笑话2A fifth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。
"Here is the situation，"she said." a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river，fishing. He loses his balance，falls in，and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion，knows that he can't swim，and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank？"她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。
于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。
谁能告诉我这是为什么？A girl raised her hand and asked，"to draw out all of his savings？"一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？Tips：bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
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A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "Notes:(1) inform v.告诉(2) nest n.窝；巢(3) description n.描述(4) encourage v.鼓励(5) resemble v. 相似；类似18.鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。
一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”I've Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "Notes:(1) poisonous adj.有毒的(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。
句中Cause 是Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。
”A Woman Who FellIt was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"摔倒的女人上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。
接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。
她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。
我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。
她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”英语笑话（一）Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
这个答案很有意思吧？Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。
你说呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。
虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。
”英语笑话（四）my little dog can't readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。
”英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.-- Well, bring me the winner then.给我那个打赢的吧-- 服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。