雅思写作如何能跳出5分的坑，一飞冲6？

雅思写作如何能跳出5分的坑，一飞冲6？
相信很多学生也有这般的困扰与困惑。

其实这并不是简单的词汇不足可以一言蔽之的问题，很多时候大家会抛开评分标准甚至很多考了数次的资深烤鸭仍然不晓得评分标准言之何为，所以做了很多事倍功半的无用功，费时费力费财且愤懑。

闲话不多聊，今天就以官方范文评析为焦灼中的烤鸭们总结如何跳出5分的坑，敲开6分的门。

上题目：
Writing Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Official Script & Comments 官方范文与评分解析
Education is, and always will be, one of the hottest topic in society. Many think that children brought up in rich families show worse academic performance than those who grew up in less rich families. This article will anayze this issue.
In rich families, those children get whatever they need: best quality of education, various field work. Parents usually send them to private schools to ensure the quality which those well-designed and expensive ones would fail them on. With enough fortune, they are also capable of affording international travels that broaden their horizon and make it
easier to absorb knowledge. More importantly, these rich children are excluded from the monetary concerns of their family, therefore they can focus on their own development.
As for those who grew up in families who do not have large amount of money, situation is completely different. During the whole process of their growth, they have to plan everything on their own and take the burden of family. though lack of so-called high quality education, they are able to gain different kinds of experience. Responsibity is another side that should not be ignored. Compared to those rich guys, the normal children demonstrate more responsibility in caring about people.
In my opinion, the key virtue of a person is not about how much knoledge he or she has, It is about how independent they are when facing different kinds of problems in real life. Knowledge is just in theory, experience and independency is in practice. The children with less money undoubtedly will become more successful.
Task Response 写作任务回应情况
The candidate discusses the advantages and disadvantages quite well using supporting ideas. However, the introduction does not completely relate to all parts of the question and the conclusion could be more relevant.
通过使用多个支持性论点，考生很好地阐述了利弊两方面观点。

但作文开篇陈述没有全面地联系题目的所有部分，结论可以更为切题。

Coherence & Cohesion连贯与衔接
A variety of different connectives and cohesive devices are used. For instance:
考生使用了各种不同的连接词和衔接手段，例如：
· 'As for those who …'
· 'In my opinion …'
· 'to ensure the …'
There is also lots of good referencing, for example:
文中还多次使用了有效的指代，例如：
· 'With enough fortune, they are also capable of affording international travels that broaden their horizon …'
However, there is some incorrect use of connectives and cohesive devices. There is also a lack of overall progression. The writing shows glimpses of ideas but the development lacks coherence due to irrelevant topics.
但有些地方使用连接词和连接手段不当，同时行文缺乏总体推进。

写作中出现了一些论点，但由于加入了无关话题，导致论证缺乏有效的衔接。

Lexical Resource 词汇丰富程度
A range of vocabulary is appropriately used and there are some good collocations. Good examples include:
文中恰当地使用了一系列词汇，以及一些好的词语搭配。

范例包括：
· 'academic performance'
· 'absorb knowledge'
· 'monetary concerns'
Some words are inappropriately used or the meaning is not precise enough. For example:一些词语使用不当，或表意不明确。

例如：
· 'field work'
· 'independency'
· '… take the burden of family'
There are some errors in spelling but they do not affect comprehension – these include 'responsibity', 'knoledge'.
拼写出现一些错误，但并不影响理解，包括'responsibity''knoledge'。

Grammatical Range & Accuracy 语法多样性及准确性
Both simple and complex sentences are used by the writer. There are errors in spelling and word formation but these do not impede communication.
考生使用了简单与复杂两种句式。

拼写和构词方面出现了一些错误，但并不影响理解。

Overall score: 6
总分：6
总结篇：破五上六，七步到位
1 文章基础段落框架即使文章的行文逻辑，折中与一边倒可以分为四段或五段式：首段引出论点；尾段给出结论抑或重申观点；中间两到三个主题段。

通过范文我做的批注大家可以看出该学生的行文逻辑比较清晰，但改论点时部分偏题导致该考生未能继续提分。

这也是很多5分段的学生会出的问题，考官会将偏题部分视为无效部分剔除。

审题永远三审而后写！
2 分论点一定要有支持性论据及其论证拓展过程。

主题段的结构应为：主题句+第一个论据+论据拓展（1-2种方式）+第二个论据+论据拓展（1-2种方式）+总结句（可不写）。

这是基础的段落逻辑走向，三个论据的写法也可以，但需保证切题且注意控制时间。

3 做到了前两点，文章的雏形已经出来。

有了文章与段落逻辑之后，句子之间的逻辑也需要清晰流畅。

通常采用明暗结合的连接方式更为有效。

明连接即使用各种连接词，暗连接即使用指示代词或依赖内部逻辑连接。

注意不要滥用连接词，根据逻辑选词，而不是根据词选逻辑。

4 如果想得到6分的分数，中学基础词汇一定要过关。

词会影响意思的表达，导致句子表意不明甚至南辕北辙，偏离论点。

其次，积累同根词与同义词，如：important可以换成 importance、essential、vital、significant等。

同意替换是雅思最重要的考查点，听说读写都需要掌握。

用词准确度还包括了拼写与搭配恰当，常见的搭配错误如learn knowledge，英文中不用learn搭配knowledge, 可换成acquire/absorb等。

5 语法方面复杂句对于语法得分很重要，从句这块必须掌握。

同时被动语态、情态动词、条件句等这些基础语法学会灵活运用。

不要忽略简单句的重要性，通过句子成分的学习，我们知道简单句写出来是可以非常不简单的，有时不会弱于复杂句。

复杂句的优势在于其可以表达多信息点的能力。

行文中无需大量复杂句，根据逻辑选句型，不要为了写句型而写句型。

其实只要出现了正确使用的复杂句，语法分就可以在6分的范畴。

6 虽然不影响理解的小错误不会扣分，但应该平时养成细心的习惯，杜绝小错误的发生，因为你不晓得是否考试时出的小错误会不会是坏了整锅汤的那颗'mouse shit'。

凡事预则立，不预则废。

7 最后，稳住心态！很多烤鸭不是败给了实力，而是败给了失利。

放平心态，师者常言：正常发挥就是超长发挥。

尤其是初次屠鸭的考生，抱着试练的心态往往有意外收获。

所以，想敲开6分的门儿，我们需要清晰的文章框架逻辑、段落框架逻辑、句中逻辑，基础词汇（首先是表意清楚，其次是同意替换），明暗结合的连接手法，复杂句。

当然不要偏题抑或字数残缺！文章不厌百回改，多写多练，养成改错与积累的习惯，最好听、说、读、写每一部分准备一个改错本与积累本。

最后的最后，应个景，给诸位来段verse助助考兴。

大家自主搭配flow. DJ drop the beat!
Yo Yo (起范儿~)
writing ain't monster, you can be the conqueror. logic needs change, don't be too straight. people say it is patience that makes renaissance. You should build up your grammar to break up the dilemma. Vocabulary is to victory what bravery is to glory. Now, raise your tone, turn off your phone, shoot birds with one stone---boom boom boom! (食指中指点太阳穴而后指向45°斜上) Respect.。