CUNY Wirting placement test student handbook

CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (CATW)Student HandbookOffice of Institutional Research and AssessmentOffice of Academic AffairsThe City University of New YorkThe most up-­‐to-­‐date CATW information may be found at /academics/testing/cuny-­‐assessment-­‐tests.htmlCopyright © 2012 The City University of New YorkCUNY Assessment Test in Writing (CATW)Student HandbookContentsWhat is the CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (CATW)? (1)Format of the CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (2)How Your Writing Is Evaluated (3)Calculating Your CATW Total Score (6)The CATW Reading Selection (7)How to Understand the CATW Writing Directions (8)Writing the CATW Response (9)Strategies for Taking the CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (10)Sample Student Papers (12)Practice Exercises for Students (22)How to Understand the Reading and Get Started (22)How to Develop Your Response (24)Critical Thinking ExerciseƐ ͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͘͘Ϯϲ How to Demonstrate Connections Between Ideas ͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙Ϯϴ ,Žǁ ƚŽ tƌŝƚĞ Ă ^ƵŵŵĂƌLJ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ dt ZĞƐƉŽŶƐĞ ͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙Ϯϵ ,Žǁ ƚŽ ZĞĨĞƌ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ZĞĂĚŝŶŐ WĂƐƐĂŐĞ ŝŶ zŽƵƌ dt ZĞƐƉŽŶƐĞ ͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͙͘͘ϯϯ How to Proofread and Edit Your CATW Response (34)What is the CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (CATW)?The CUNY Assessment Test in Writing (CATW) is a standardized writing test that measuresD VWXGHQW·V DELOLW\ WR GR FROOHJH-level writing in English. Entering first-year students take thetest to determine their placement into English composition, ESL, or developmental writing courses. In addition, the CATW is used to determine when students are ready to exit from developmental writing courses and move on to college-level courses.7KH WHUP ´VWDQGDUGL]HG WHVWµ PHDQV WKDW WKH WHVW LV JLYHQ WR DOO WHVW WDNHUV LQ WKH VDPH PDQQHU and under the same conditions;; it is scored by trained readers using ´VWDQGDUGµ UXOHV RU criteria.The CATW asks you to write an essay in response to a reading passage you are given and to show competency in five categories. The five categories, listed here, are discussed in depth starting on page 3. They are (1) critical response to a text;; (2) explanation and support of ideas;; (3) organization of a response that has a clear beginning, middle, and end;; and two elements of language use: (4) sentence construction and word choice, and (5) grammar, usage, and mechanics.The purpose of the CATW is to assess your skills in these areas to see if they are consistent with the instructional goals of college-level writing courses, and to assess your readiness for introductory college courses in other areas.The literacy skills taught in first-year college courses are reflected in the CATW, which assesses your ability to read, understand, and respond to a passage of 300-350 words. In the test, you are asked to:x identify key ideas within the reading passagex write a brief summary of the key ideas in the reading in your own wordsx demonstrate basic critical thinking in response to these significant ideasx identify a significant idea in the reading passage and present a clearly written response to that ideax write an essay that explains the progression of ideas and shows connections between themx support ideas with relevant personal experience, readings, schoolwork, and/or other sources of informationx demonstrate competence in sentence construction, sentence variety, and word choice x demonstrate correct English usage, grammar, and mechanics7KH &$7: XVHV D ´UXEULF µ which is a tool IRU VFRULQJ WR PHDVXUH VWXGHQWV· ZULWLQJ VNLOOV The CATW scorers are guided by the rubric so that each scorer will use the same standards or criteria as other scorers to assess student writing in five categories (see rubric on pages 4/5).Format of the CUNY Assessment Test in WritingThe CATW has two parts: a reading passage of 300-350 words, and Writing Directions to guide students in preparing their written responses. Students have 90 minutes to complete the test, and they may use a non-electronic dictionary, bilingual, if preferred.S AMPLE TEST:AssignmentBegin by reading the passage below.HypeAdvertisements are the most prevalent and toxic of the mental pollutants. From the moment your alarm sounds in the morning to the wee hours of late-­‐night TV, commercial pollution floods your brain at the rate of about three thousand marketing messages per day. Every day an estimated 12 billion display ads, 3 million radio commercials, and more than 200,000 TV commercials are dumped into North ŵĞƌŝĐĂ͛Ɛ ĐŽůůĞĐƚŝǀĞ ƵŶĐŽŶƐĐŝŽƵƐ͘ The increase in commercial advertising has happened so steadily and relentlesslLJ ƚŚĂƚ ǁĞ ŚĂǀĞŶ͛ƚ ƋƵŝƚĞ ǁŽŬĞŶ ƵƉ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ absurdity of it all. No longer are ads confined to the usual places: buses, billboards, stadiums. Anywhere your eyes can possibly come to rest is now a place that, in ĐŽƌƉŽƌĂƚĞ ŵĞƌŝĐĂ͛Ɛ ǀŝĞǁ͕ ĐĂŶ ĂŶĚ ŽƵŐŚƚ ƚŽ ďĞ Ĩilled with a logo or product message.zŽƵ Ĩŝůů LJŽƵƌ ĐĂƌ ǁŝƚŚ ŐĂƐ͕ ĂŶĚ ƚŚĞƌĞ͛Ɛ ĂŶ ĂĚ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŶŽnjnjůĞ͘ You wait for your bank machine to spit out money and an ad scrolls by in the little window. You drive through the countryside and the view of the wheat fields is broken at intervals by enormous billboards. Your kids watch Pepsi and Snickers ads in the classroom. A company called VideoCarte installs interactive screens on supermarket carts so that you can see ads while you shop. (A company executive calls ƚŚĞ ůŝƚƚůĞ ŵŽŶŝƚŽƌƐ ͞ƚŚĞ ŵŽƐƚ ƉŽǁĞƌĨƵů ŵŝĐƌŽŵĂƌŬĞƚŝŶŐ ŵĞĚŝƵŵ ĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ ƚŽĚĂLJ͘͟Ϳ There is nowhere to run.No one is exempt and no one will be spared. In the silent moments of my life, I ŽĨƚĞŶ ƵƐĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĞĂƌ ĞĞƚŚŽǀĞŶ͛Ɛ EŝŶƚŚ ^LJŵƉŚŽŶLJ ƉůĂLJ ŝŶ ŵLJ ŚĞĂĚ͘ Now I hear that kid singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song.Excerpted from Kalle Lasn. ͞,LJƉĞ͕͟ in Signs of Life in the USA: Readings on Popular Culture for Writers,4th ĞĚ͘ ^ŽŶŝĂ DĂĂƐŝŬ Θ :ĂĐŬ ^ŽůŽŵŽŶ͕ ĚƐ͘ ŽƐƚŽŶ͗ ĞĚĨŽƌĚͬ^ƚ͘ DĂƌƚŝŶ͛Ɛ͕ ϮϬϬϯ͘ Ϯϭϳ-­‐220.Writing DirectionsRead the passage above and write an essay responding to the ideas it presents. In your essay, be sure to ƐƵŵŵĂƌŝnjĞ ƚŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ŝŶ LJŽƵƌ ŽǁŶ ǁŽƌĚƐ͕ ƐƚĂƚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ͛Ɛ ŵŽƐƚ ŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶƚ ŝĚĞĂƐ͘ ĞǀĞůŽƉ LJŽƵƌ essay by identifying one idea in the passage that you feel is especially significant, and explain its significance. Support your claims with evidence or examples drawn from what you have read, learned inschool, and/or personally experienced.Remember to review your essay and make any changes or corrections that are needed to help yourreader follow your thinking. You will have 90 minutes to complete your essay.How Your Writing Is EvaluatedThe CATW uses an analytic scoring guide, called a rubric, to evaluate student writing samples. Each test is scored independently by two faculty raters and both raters assign scores in each of five grading categories.The Five Scoring Categories1.´&ULWLFDO 5HVSRQVH WR WKH :ULWLQJ 7DVN DQG the 7H[Wµ 7KLV category emphasizes yourability to complete the entire writing task and to demonstrate understanding of the main ideas in the reading text, using critical analysis, and integrating your own ideas and experiences to respond to the main ideas in the text.2.´'HYHORSPHQW RI the :ULWHU·V ,GHDVµ In this category you are evaluated on your abilityto develop your ideas (for example, by using summary, narrative, or problem/solution) in a clear and organized way. Your response should include both general statements and specific details and examples. These details and examples can be drawn from your personal experiences, what you have read, or other sources.You must make specific references to ideas in the reading with these details and examples.3.´6WUXFWXUH RI WKH 5HVSRQVHµ 7KLV category evaluates your ability to organize ideas intoan essay that supports a central focus, or thesis. The structure of your essay is evaluated for evidence of clear connections between ideas and the use of appropriate language to convey these connections.4.´/DQJXDJH 8VH 6HQWHQFHV DQG :RUG &KRLFHµ 7KLV category evaluates the degree towhich you demonstrate sentence control and variety in sentence construction. This category also evaluates your ability to use appropriate vocabulary to make your ideas clear.5.´/DQJXDJH Use: Grammar, Usage, and 0HFKDQLFVµ 7KLV category evaluates your abilityto follow the conventions of standard American English language use in terms of grammar and mechanics (i.e. punctuation, spelling, use of capitals, etc.), so that your meaning is clear.Calculating Your CATW Total ScoreYou should notice that the scoring rubric describes levels of performance in each of the scoring categories. You can get anywhere from 6 points from a rater for a very strong performance, to 1 point for a poor performance.Scores in the 1 & 2 point range identify minimal or weak responses to the assignment;; scores in the 3 & 4 point range identify somewhat adequate or competent responses;; scores in the 5 & 6 point range identify very good or superior responses.Your response will receive a Weighted Total score on the CATW. Weighted Total scores are calculated by adding up the individual rater scores across the five scoring dimensions;; however, scores in the three content dimensions ² Critical Response, Development of Ideas, and Structure of Response ² are weighted twice as much as those in the two language use dimensions ² Sentence and Word Choice, and Grammar;; and Usage and Mechanics. For example, if your response is rated 4 in each dimension by both raters, the total weighted score would be 2(4+4) + 2(4+4) + 2(4+4) + (4+4) + (4+4) = 64.A passing score on the CATW is 56, which can be obtained by getting D FRPELQDWLRQ RI ·V DQG ·V in each of the scoring categories: 2(3+4) + 2(3+4) + 2(3+4) + (3+4) + (3+4) = 56. Of course, there are other combinations of scores that will add up to a 56, but overall you should think of aiming your writing level at getting at least a 4 from at least one of the raters in each of the scoring categories, and avoid getting a 2 in any category.The CATW Reading SelectionOne way to prepare for the test is to understand the types of readings used on the test. The reading passage that you will be asked to respond to will have the following characteristics:x The text is 300-350 words in length.x Reading passages are at 11th or 12th grade reading level and appropriate for high school graduates.x Topics are familiar and interesting to high school graduates, and they will come from general knowledge areas (for instance, sociology, psychology, technology, popular culture, etc.).x Read LQJV DUH FOHDUO\ ZULWWHQ ZLWK WKH DXWKRU·V PDLQ LGHD placed early in the passage, so that \RX FDQ EHWWHU LGHQWLI\ WKH ZULWHU·V FHQWUDO SRLQW DQG ZULWH D UHVSRQVH EDVHG RQ WKH WH[W x Readings come from the following sources: general interest magazines, newspaper articles, speeches, and excerpts of essays from academic anthologies. For example, The Utne Reader, The New York Times,The Week and are good sources of engaging general interestarticles.x Reading passages will appear with a title and the DXWKRU·V QDPH <RX DUH HQFRXUDJHG WR UHIHU WR WKH DXWKRU·V ODVW QDPH DQG WKH title of the passage in your response.x Reading passages always appear with the following standard writing directions:Read the passage above and write an essay responding to theideas it presents. In your essay, be sure to summarize the passagein LJŽƵƌ ŽǁŶ ǁŽƌĚƐ͕ ƐƚĂƚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ͛Ɛ ŵŽƐƚ ŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶƚ ŝĚĞĂƐ͘Develop your essay by identifying one idea in the passage thatyou feel is especially significant, and explain its significance.Support your claims with evidence or examples drawn from whatyou have read, learned in school, and/or personally experienced.Remember to review your essay and make any changes orcorrections that are needed to help your reader follow yourthinking. You will have 90 minutes to complete your essay.How to Understand the CATW Writing DirectionsThere are two parts to the CUNY Assessment Test in Writing. The first is the reading passage andthe second, Writing Directions, follows the reading. The Writing Directions reflect the five categories of the scoring rubric, as illustrated below. (The Writing Directions are in quotationmarks.)͞ZĞĂĚ ƚŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ĂďŽǀĞ ĂŶĚ ǁƌŝƚĞ ĂŶ ĞƐƐĂLJ ƌĞƐƉŽŶĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ŝĚĞĂƐ ŝƚ ƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐ͘͟This sentence instructs you to respond directly to the reading passage and reminds you that yourresponse must address the ideas presented in the text.͞/Ŷ LJŽƵƌ ĞƐƐĂLJ͕ ďĞ ƐƵƌĞ ƚŽ ƐƵŵŵĂƌŝnjĞ ƚŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ŝŶ LJŽƵƌ ŽǁŶ ǁŽƌĚƐ͕ ƐƚĂƚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ͛Ɛ ŵŽƐƚ ŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶƚ ŝĚĞĂƐ͘͟This direction focuses on your understanding of the reading passage, and your ability todemonstrate this understanding in an organized response, emphasizing the key ideas in thereading passage.͞ ĞǀĞůŽƉ LJŽƵƌ ĞƐƐĂLJ ďLJ ŝĚĞŶƚŝĨLJŝŶŐ ŽŶĞ ŝĚĞĂ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ƚŚĂƚ LJŽƵ ĨĞĞů ŝƐ especially significant, ĂŶĚ ĞdžƉůĂŝŶ ŝƚƐ ƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶĐĞ͘͟This direction instructs you to develop an organized piece of writing that focuses on a specificidea in the reading passage. Y RX DUH IUHH WR FKRRVH DQ\ ´VLJQLILFDQW LGHDµ DQG GHYHORS \RXUresponse to this idea by using one or more ways of organizing (for example, summarizing,analyzing, personal narrative, cause and effect, persuasion).͞^ƵƉƉŽƌƚ LJŽƵƌ ĐůĂŝŵƐ ǁŝƚŚ ĞǀŝĚĞŶĐĞ Žƌ ĞdžĂŵƉůĞƐ ĚƌĂǁŶ ĨƌŽŵ ǁŚĂƚ LJŽƵ ŚĂǀĞ ƌĞĂĚ͕ ůĞĂƌŶĞĚ ŝŶ ƐĐŚŽŽů͕ ĂŶĚͬŽƌ ƉĞƌƐŽŶĂůůLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ͘͟Here you are reminded that the ideas you present in the essay must be supported with details,examples, or personal experiences. You may use supporting details from a variety of sources,but whatever you use should demonstrate some ability to combine supporting details andexamples to discuss specific ideas from the reading passage. You must always refer to ideas from/inthe reading in your response.͞ZĞŵĞŵďĞƌ ƚŽ ƌĞǀŝĞǁ LJŽƵƌ ĞƐƐĂLJ ĂŶĚ ŵĂŬĞ ĂŶLJ ĐŚĂŶŐĞƐ Žƌ ĐŽƌƌĞĐƚŝŽŶƐ ƚŚĂƚ ǁŝůů ŚĞůƉ LJŽƵƌ ƌĞĂĚĞƌ ĨŽůůŽǁ LJŽƵƌ ƚŚŝŶŬŝŶŐ͘͟You are reminded that you must edit and proofread the response for clarity and correctness.͞zŽƵ ǁŝůů ŚĂǀĞ ϵϬ ŵŝŶƵƚĞƐ ƚŽ ĐŽŵƉůĞƚĞ LJŽƵƌ ĞƐƐĂLJ͘͟You should be careful to manage your time so that you can complete your response, with time tocarefully proofread and edit your work. For instance, you should spend 20-30 minutes reading, annotating, and taking notes about the text. Then spend 30-40 minutes writing your response. Finally, spend 20-30 minutes re-reading, editing and proofreading your work.Writing the CATW ResponseTo be successful on this test, you need to understand some basic ideas about the CATW response.The Nature of the TestThe CUNY Assessment Test in Writing is a text-based writing sample that reflects the kinds ofwriting done in introductory college-level FRXUVHV ´7H[W-EDVHG ZULWLQJ VDPSOHµ VLP ply means that you are writing in response to a passage you have read.) The CATW assesses your readiness forwriting in English in college composition courses and other introductory college-level courses.What Your Response Should DemonstrateTo prepare for the CATW, you should be aware of the required components of the response, asdescribed in the scoring rubric.You should be able to:x read and understand a short (300-350 words) reading passage written at the 11th or 12th grade reading level.x identify and re-state in your own words WKH DXWKRU·V PDLQ LGHDV³and important supporting ideas³in the reading passage.x read and understand the writing directions that accompany the reading passage, and address all parts of the writing task.Your response should:x include a brief summary of the author·V PDLQ LGHD s and supporting ideas (two or three key points in the reading) in your own words. This summary can be written either at the beginning of your response to the reading passage or throughout your essay.x make direct reference to ideas in the reading passage, either with direct quotes or paraphrasing.x demonstrate the ability to identify and address a specific idea in the reading passage that you feel LV ´VLJQLILFDQWµ LW QHHGQ·W EH WKH DXWKRU·V PDLQ LGHD DQG GHYHORS DQ HVVD\ LQ UHVSRQVH WR that idea, expanding your response through the use of explanation, supporting details, personal experience, and/or other reading you may have done.x be organized in a clear way, with appropriate use of language to connect your ideas, supporting details, and examples.x demonstrate your ability to write an essay that has a clear beginning, middle, and end.x combine ideas from the reading passage with your own ideas about the text.x demonstrate the ability to write clear and varied sentences, and use vocabulary that clearly and effectively communicates your ideas.You should:x manage your time during the exam period (90 minutes) to allow for reading the passage, writing your response, proofreading and editing.x check your response for errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation.Strategies for Taking the CUNY Assessment Test in WritingThe CATW is a 90-minute test that measures your ability to write a college-level essay. Keep in mind that this test focuses on the following criteria:x addressing all parts of the Writing Directions in an essay that summarizes the main ideas in the reading passage;;x discussing a significant idea from the reading passage in a clear and coherent essay;;x integrating references to specific ideas and details in the reading passage with your own ideas about the text;;x constructing a written response that has a clear beginning, middle and end;;x writing sentences that are constructed correctly and use correct word choices;;x understanding and using good grammar and mechanics to convey your ideas clearly.When you take the test, you may find the following strategies helpful in planning how to use your time:Reading: Spend about 20 minutes reading the passage and underlining significant ideas. You should decide which ideas in the reading you will use to write your summary.Planning and Pre-­‐Writing: Spend about 10 minutes planning and pre-writing. Your test booklet gives you two blank pages for planning notes or writing an outline. Briefly write down the key idea from the passage that you will develop in your response, along with some significant details and/or examples. Make a note about the order you might use to present your ideas most clearly and effectively. The planning work you do on these pages will not be evaluated.Writing the Response: Spend about 50 minutes writing your response. Be sure to use the lined pages in your test booklet. Refer to your plan, or outline, and remember that the Writing Directions require you to include a summary of key ideas in the reading, select one idea and explain its significance, make specific references to the reading in your response, and develop your response with relevant details and examples, using standard edited American English.You may begin with a summary of the key ideas in the reading passage. Be sure to write it in your own words;; do not copy it word-for-word from the text. Then identify at least one significant idea in the reading passage. Explain why you think that idea is significant, using appropriate supporting details and examples from your personal experience or from your own reading.Revising and Editing: When you have finished writing your response, spend about 10 minutes proofreading and editing your response, and making any necessary changes. Consider the following questions when you review your response:x Did you complete all parts of the Writing Directions?x Did you include a summary of the reading passage?x Did you clearly identify at least one significant idea from the reading and discuss it in detail?x Are the details and examples you present in your response clear and relevant?x Is there any unnecessary repetition of ideas in your response?x Is your response written in clear well-constructed sentences, using correct grammar and punctuation?Sample Student Papers7KHVH SDSHUV DUH UHVSRQVHV WR WKH ZULWLQJ DVVLJQPHQW DQG WKH UHDGLQJ WH[W ´+\SH µ E\ .DOOH /DVQ LQ Signs of Life in the USA: Readings on Popular Culture for Writers, 4th ed. (Sonia Maasik & Jack Solomon, E GV %RVWRQ %HGIRUG 6W 0DUWLQ·V -220.Please go back to page 2 to review the reading passage and Writing Directions.Paper #1I was ŚŽŽŬĞĚ ĨƌŽŵ ƚŚĞ ŽƉĞŶŝŶŐ ƐĞŶƚĞŶĐĞ ŽĨ ƚŚŝƐ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ͕ ĂŶĚ ĂƐ / ĨŝŶŝƐŚĞĚ͕ / ĐŽƵůĚŶ͛ƚ ƌĞƐŝƐƚ ĂƐŵĂůů ŝŶƚĞƌŶĂů ĐŚĞĞƌ͘ / ďĞůŝĞǀĞ ŵŽƐƚ ŽĨ ƵƐ ǁŽƵůĚ ĂŐƌĞĞ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ͛Ɛ ƐĞŶƚŝŵĞŶƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĂƚ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ ;ĂĚƐͿ ĂƌĞ ƚƌƵůLJ ƚŚĞ ͞ŵŽƐƚ͙ƚŽdžŝĐ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ŵĞŶƚĂů ƉŽůůƵƚĂŶƚƐ͟ ΀ůŝŶĞ ϭ΁͛ tŚŽ ĚŽĞƐŶ͛ƚ ĨůLJ through the channels when there is a break in your program, and the endless commercials, and infomercial begin? Today, our lives are saturated with ads occupying every square inch of viewing space. It is enough to make one scream!dŚĞ ƐƚĂƚŝƐƚŝĐƐ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ ƋƵŽƚĞƐ ĂƌĞ ƐƚĂŐŐĞƌŝŶŐ͘ dŽ ŝŵĂŐŝŶĞ ƚŚĂƚ ͞ϭϮ ďŝůůŝŽŶ ĚŝƐƉůĂLJ ĂĚƐ͕ ϯ ŵŝůůŝŽŶ ƌĂĚŝŽ ĐŽŵŵĞƌĐŝĂůƐ͕ ĂŶĚ ŽǀĞƌ ϮϬϬ͕ϬϬϬ ds ĐŽŵŵĞƌĐŝĂůƐ͟ Ăŝƌ ĞĂĐŚ ĚĂLJ͕ ĂŶĚ ƚŚŝƐ ŝƐ ŝŶ EŽƌƚŚ America alone. By my count that adds up to 12,003,200,000 types of ads each day. Or, on a more personal note, each of us is exposed to more than 2,000 advertisements/some form of marketing ŵĞƐƐĂŐĞ ĞĂĐŚ ĚĂLJ͊ dŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ͛Ɛ ǀŝĞǁ ŝƐ ĞĂƐŝůLJ ĂƉĂƌƚ ĨƌŽŵ ƚŚĞ ĚĞƐĐƌŝƉƚŝŽŶ ŽĨ ƚŚŝƐ ;ƵƚƚĞƌůLJ ƌŝĚŝĐƵůŽƵƐͿ ĂŵŽƵŶƚ ŽĨ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐŝŶŐ ĂƐ ͞ƉŽůůƵƚŝŽŶ ĨůŽŽĚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ďƌĂŝŶ͕͟ ͞ĚƵŵƉĞĚ ŝŶƚŽ ŽƵƌ ĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚ͘͟ ϭϮ͕ϬϬϯ͕ϮϬϬ͕ϬϬϬ͘ ůƵĚŝĐƌŽƵƐ ŶƵŵďĞƌ͘ /ƚ ŵĞĂŶƐ ƚŚĂƚ ŽƵƌ ŵŝŶĚƐ ĂƌĞ ĐŽŶƚŝŶƵĂůůLJ bombarded, assaulted with a message of consumerism, courtesy of corporate America. Another outstanding factor is the variety these ads take.The author mentions buses, billboards, stadiums, gas nozzles, even shopping carts! Anywhere you look you can find ads. It actually reminded me of a fantasy novel by Michael Crichton.Unfortunately, the name escapes me at this point, but what I found remarkable was that in the WƌŽƚĂŐŽŶŝƐƚ͛Ɛ ǁŽƌůĚ͕ ͞ďŝŽ-­‐ĂĚƐ͟ ǁĞƌĞ ƚŚĞ ŶŽƌŵ͘ ĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ ǁĞƌĞ ƉůĂĐĞĚ ŽŶƚŽ ůŝǀŝŶŐ ŽƌŐĂŶŝƐŵƐ such as fish, coral reefs, birds, etc. , through genetic manipulation. Thus turning beautiful and majestic living creatures into cheap advertisements. Imagine, if you will, a dolphin with Chrysler emblazoned onto its side, or a Golden Eagle with the Lockheed-­‐Martin symbol upon its plumage.While we may laugh at such a ridiculous mental image, it should also make us pause for thought. I ũƵƐƚ ĚĞƐĐƌŝďĞĚ Ă ŶŽǀĞů͕ Ă ǁŽƌŬ ŽĨ ĨŝĐƚŝŽŶ͕ ďƵƚ ŝƐ ƚŽĚĂLJ͛Ɛ ǁŽƌůĚ ƌĞĂůůLJ ƐŽ ĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶƚ͍ Ɛ ǁĞ ůĞĂƌŶĞĚ ĨƌŽŵ ƚŚĞ ĂƌƚŝĐůĞ ͞,LJƉĞ͕͟ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ ĂƌĞ ĨŽƵŶĚ s Zzt, Z ͕ ŽŶ ŽƵƌ ŽǁŶ ĐůŽƚŚĞƐ͕ ŽŶ ĐĞƌĞĂů ďŽdžĞƐ͕ ŽŶ ďƵƐĞƐ ĂŶĚ ƚĂdžŝƐ͕ ŵĂLJďĞ ŝƚ͛Ɛ Žnly a matter of time before the natural beauty we so admire is exploited as well. To return to the novel, entire species were licensed by certain companies, all sanctioned in an effort to preserve them. The thinking being that businesses would protect thĞŝƌ ͞ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ͘͟ ĨĨĞĐƚŝǀĞ͕ ƚƌƵĞ͕ ďƵƚ ǁŚĂƚ Ă ƐĂĚ ƐƚĂƚĞ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ǁŽƌůĚ ƚŽ ďĞ ŝŶ͕ Ă world corrupted by advertising./͛ůů ƐƚĂLJ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌĞǀĂůĞŶĐĞ ŽĨ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ũƵƐƚ Ă ůŝƚƚůĞ ůŽŶŐĞƌ͕ ƐŝŵƉůLJ ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ ǁŚĞŶ / ƚŚŝŶŬ about it, the author is completely right ʹ nowhere to run and hide. I remember when I first came ƚŽ ŵĞƌŝĐĂ Ă LJĞĂƌ ĂŐŽ ;/͛ŵ ŽƌŝŐŝŶĂůůLJ ĨƌŽŵ ĂƌďĂĚŽƐͿ͕ ŽŶĞ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ ƚŚŝŶŐƐ / ǁĂŶƚĞĚ ƚŽ ĚŽ͕ ǁĂƐ visit Times Square. Why? Because every movie, or television program, I had seen about, or set in, New York had a scene with the huge building-­‐sized ads of Times Square in it. An article I was reading in the IEEE journal recently dealt with a company seeking governmental permission to place ads on the moon. That article in turn reminded me of another I had read previously. When subliminal messaging was first being researched, several companies paid movie theatres to flash their ads on the screen during the showing. The ad would flash so quickly, that the conscious mind would be unable to register it. They just wanted to see if they could subconsciously cause individuals to crave their product, (I believe it was the Coca-­‐Cola company). To return to my ownexperiences, one of the most novel things to me when I first arrived, was the bus stop ads which actually change every few minutes. I would never have dreamed of such an approach./ ƐƵƉƉŽƐĞ /͛ǀĞ ǁƌŝƚƚĞŶ Ăůů ŽĨ ƚŚŝƐ ƚŽ ƐŚŽǁ͕ ĂƐ ƚŚĞ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ ƉŽŝŶƚƐ ŽƵƚ͕ ŚŽǁ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐŝŶŐ ƉĞƌŵĞĂƚĞƐ ŽƵƌ ĞŶƚŝƌĞ ƐŽĐŝĞƚLJ͘ dŚĞƌĞ͛Ɛ Ă ĐŚĞŵŝĐĂů ƚĞƌŵ ǁŚŝĐŚ / ƚŚŝŶŬ ǁŽƵůĚ ĂƉƉůLJ ƚŽ this, the Point of Saturation. Basically, when you have mixed so much solute (e.g. sugar) into a solvent (e.g. water) to the point that the solvent can hold no more of the solute (In my example, any further sugar crystals would just drop to the bottom), it had reached its P.O.S. Somehow, I think this aptly describes our minds when it comes to advertising. I wonder if we can take much more without any adverse effects. The author starts to delve into this when they mention how children watch ads in the cůĂƐƐƌŽŽŵ͕ ĂŶĚ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ůĂƐƚ ƐĞŶƚĞŶĐĞ ΀ŬŝĚ ƐŝŶŐŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ͙ ƐŽŶŐ΁͘ ĐƚƵĂůůLJ͕ ŵŽƐƚ advertisements target children. They want children to see the ads, desire the product, and then beg their parents to buy it. As an additional bonus, this constant message of consumerism at sucha young age will ensure that many children wanting (overspending) all sorts of products intoadulthood. To illustrate, one study found that Polish families spend the most family time when shopping together. Maybe facts like this, and the rising number of families in perpetual credit card debt, can be taken as evidence of the adverse effects of advertising.All things considered, we suffer. We are victims of a malady known as overabundant advertising. Maybe one day, a commission will be formed to limit the amount, and location of advertisements companies can use. But until then, one thing is certain. It is only a matter of time before we all begin hearing that Oscar Meyer song in our heads.Paper #1 received a score of 6,6,6,6,6. A discussion of the score for each category follows.Critical Response to the Text: 6The response integrates ideas from the text with ideas IURP WKH ZULWHU·V RZQ H[SHULHQFH LQ PDQ\ ways )RU H[DPSOH WKH ZULWHU UHODWHV /DVQ·V comment about the pervasiveness of ads to a Michael Crichton novel V KH UHDG SDUDJUDSK 7KH ZULWHU DOVR FRPSDUHV /DVQ·V LGHD RI KRZ advertising ´SHUPHDWHVµ VRFLHW\ SDUDJUDSK WR D FKHPLFDO FRQFHSW WKH VWXGHQW OHDUQHG LQ VFKRRO FDOOHG the ´Point of S DWXUDWLRQ µ The response demonstrates a thorough understanding of the main ideas and complexity of ideas in the text by discussing the pervasiveness of advertising and the impact of this pervasiveness on people today.Development of Ideas: 6The writer summarizes the main ideas found in the reading passage by integrating them throughout the response. The writer draws upon a variety of personal resources (what s/he has learned in school, read, and experienced) to evaluate and extend the argument in the passage. The development RI WKH ZULWHU·V UHVSRQVH is extensive, detailed, and relevant to the main focus of the reading and to the response itself.Structure of the Response: 6The response has a strong central focus and maintains that focus throughout the essay. In a well-designed progression, the writer moves from a summary of the statistics in the passage (and the ZULWHU·V MXGJPHQW RI WKHLU LPSOLFDWLRQV WR WKH ZULWHU·V H[WHQVLRQ RI LGHDV LQ WKH SDVVDJH with adiscussion of the Michael C ULFKWRQ QRYHO 7KHQ LW PRYHV WR WKH ZULWHU·V personal experience and observations, which demonstrate that extreme examples of advertising exist in real life, not just in science fiction. The conclusion brings the essay back to the central image of the passage and suggests a possible solution (a new idea). The writer makes transitions effectively from paragraph to paragraph (idea to idea) to introduce new ideas and to guide understanding of relationships among ideas.Sentences and Word Choice: 6Both sentence structure and word choice are strong in this response, and, as a result, it has a strong voice. The writer makes good choices in constructing sentences. )URP WKH EHJLQQLQJ ´, ZDV KRRNHG IURP WKH RSHQLQJ VHQWHQFH RI WKLV SDVVDJH«µ WR WKH HQG ´K earing that Oscar Meyer song LQ RXU KHDGV µwhich brings the essay back to the imagery of the reading), sentences are well FRQWUROOHG DQG ZRUG FKRLFH LV SUHFLVH DQG YLJRURXV ´VWDJJHULQJ µ ´IORRGLQJ WKH EUDLQ µ ´SHUPHDWHVµGrammar, Usage and Mechanics: 6The writer makes a few errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics, but overall, demonstrates a strong command of language.Paper #2Advertisements have been influencing the American lifestyle and regulating what we buy, eat, or even do. Over the years, these companies have grown larger and figured outŵŽƌĞ ǁĂLJƐ ƚŽ ƉƵƚ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ ŝŶƚŽ ŽƵƌ ĞǀĞƌLJ ĚĂLJ ůŝĨĞ͘ /Ŷ ͞,LJƉĞ͕͟ >ĂƐŶ ƐƚĂƚĞƐ ͞dŚere isŶŽǁŚĞƌĞ ƚŽ ƌƵŶ͘ EŽ ŽŶĞ ŝƐ ĞdžĞŵƉƚ ĂŶĚ ŶŽ ŽŶĞ ǁŝůů ďĞ ƐƉĂƌĞĚ͘͟ dŚŝƐ ƚĞůůƐ ƵƐ ƚŚĂƚ ŶŽ ŵĂƚƚĞƌwhere you are, there is going to be some form of advertisement trying to influence you. Iagree with Lasn that advertisements are toxic to our way of thinking and decision making.Everywhere I go, I see a form of advertisement trying to influence me to try or buy ƐŽŵĞƚŚŝŶŐ͘ ĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ >ĂƐŶ͕ ƚŚĞƌĞ͛Ɛ ĂŶ ĞƐƚŝŵĂƚĞĚ ϭϮ ďŝůůŝŽŶ ĚŝƐƉůĂLJ ĂĚƐ͕ ϯ ŵŝůůŝŽŶ ƌĂĚŝŽcommercials and over 200,000 T.V. commercials, all of which are trying to influence me.Sometimes it is necessary to get a break from these ads because it can be like taunting youeverywhere you go. There are times where I can just read about the product descriptionĂŶĚ ĚĞĐŝĚĞ ĨŽƌ ŵLJƐĞůĨ ŝĨ /͛ŵ ŐŽŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƉƵƌĐŚĂse it or not, without having any type of pressureor influence to it.Too much of anything eventually can become harmful. I can accept a few commercials and ads that inform me about a product or service but when it is everywhere you turn, thenit is a problem. A good example is when I use the restroom, sometimes they have ads rightŽŶ ƚŽƉ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ƵƌŝŶĂů͕ ƐŽ ĂƐ /͛ŵ ƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞƌĞ /͛ŵ ĨĂĐĞ ƚŽ ĨĂĐĞ ǁŝƚŚ ƐŽŵĞ ƚLJƉĞ ŽĨadvertisement.ǀĞŶ ƚŚŽƵŐŚ ĂĚǀĞƌƚŝƐĞŵĞŶƚƐ ĐĂŶ Ɛƚ Ă ĐŽŵƉĂŶLJ͛Ɛ ƌĞǀĞŶƵĞ͕ ŝƚ ĐĂŶ ĂůƐŽ ĞŶĚ up cause trouble in society. The cigarette and alcohol industry spend more money then any other toadvertise their products. Some of these forms of advertisement can lead people to thinkingyou cannot have a good time without their products. So, in return, teens and minor can beinfluenced to smoke and drink which can lead to a negative effect on society. When Lasn。