高考英语作文高分和低分作文对比
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性,平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益,请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间:9:00-18:30)。
高考英语作文高分和低分作文对比
全文共3篇示例,供读者参考
篇1
The Difference Between a High and Low Score on the Gaokao English Exam
As a high school senior preparing for the infamous gaokao university entrance exam, I can't overstate the importance of the English composition portion. A high score can open doors to prestigious universities, while a low one could derail all my hard work over the past few years. Let me walk you through what separates an exceptional essay from a lackluster one by comparing two sample responses to last year's prompt: "If you could spend a day with any person from history, who would you choose and why?"
Low-Scoring Sample:
If I could spend a day with any person from history, I would choose Albert Einstein. Einstein was a very famous scientist who made many important discoveries in physics. He came up with the theory of relativity which revolutionized our understanding of space, time, energy and gravity.
Einstein was born in Germany in 1879. As a child, he had a brilliant mind and was always very curious about how the world worked. He enjoyed thinking about mathematics and solving complicated problems. In school, Einstein did not like strict discipline and would often daydream during class.
After graduating, Einstein took a job as a clerk at the patent office while continuing his scientific research on the side. It was during this time that he had his "miracle year" in 1905 when he published four groundbreaking papers, including his special theory of relativity. This made Einstein world famous.
For the rest of his life, Einstein continued making important contributions to science. His theories and discoveries fundamentally changed human knowledge. If I could spend a day with Einstein, I would ask him to explain his theories to me in simple terms. It would be an incredible opportunity to learn from one of the greatest minds in all of history.
Analysis: This response demonstrates a very surface-level understanding of Einstein's life and achievements. While factually accurate, it reads like a basic encyclopedia entry regurgitating well-known details without any insightful analysis or discussion of why Einstein was such an influential figure. The short paragraphs and simplistic sentences don't flow well. There
are no literary devices used to engage the reader. Overall, the writing is flat and uncompelling - exactly what admissions officers don't want to see.
High-Scoring Sample:
If I could transport myself back in time and share the company of any historic figure for a day, I would undoubtedly choose to walk alongside Albert Einstein - the brilliant mind whose revolutionary ideas utterly transformed our comprehension of the cosmos. More than merely a distinguished scientist, Einstein was an incomparable visionary whose unwavering curiosity and peerless imagination catalyzed a profound reconceptualization of reality itself.
In my ephemeral 24 hours as Einstein's counterpart, I can envision us unconstrained by the enforced discipline of the classroom, instead favoring a lively intellectual discourse amidst the serene ambiance of the Swiss countryside. I would be instinctively awed yet apt to inquire, like an inquisitive pupil before an eminent oracle of wisdom. How did his intuitive brilliance first blossom amid the quaint context of late 19th century Germany? I can picture the frizzy-haired youth, musing over the fundamental forces that governed his simple childhood experiences - from rolling bands of light to magnetic mineral