关于幽默的英文笑话阅读
搞笑英文笑话加翻译大全
搞笑英文笑话加翻译篇四
Bill,Jim,and Scott were at a convention together
比尔，吉姆，和史考特一起参加一场会议，
and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75story sky-scraper.
“位墓园管理员在巡视的时候，看见一名男子躺在坟墓上，
sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,
大声哭泣，并且用他的拳头重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地说：
"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.
到了仪式的尾声，正当抬棺材的人要将棺材抬出之际。
when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.
他们一不小心撞到了一面墙壁，摇动了棺材。
They hear faint太约一年十四万左右吧，要视整体福利而定。”
The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,
面试主管说：“嗯，五个礼拜的假期，
14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,
剩下的路程史考特可以说些悲哀的故事。
At the 26th floor bill stopped telling jockes and Jim began to sing,
到了二十六层 ，比尔停止说笑话，吉姆开始唱歌。
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbit that you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. the mouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
英语爆笑笑话12篇
英语爆笑笑话12篇推荐文章爆笑英语笑话加翻译合集热度：有关爆笑英语小笑话带翻译热度：爆笑小学生英文小笑话大全孩子喜欢的热度：英文经典有趣爆笑的小笑话热度：关于英语的儿童爆笑笑话热度：英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话篇一：她要买什么A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's coming.Now what was it she wanted? Rain, said the clerk.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：当然，马上就会有的。
我们上周订了货。
然后经理把店员拉到一边：千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么，说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。
现在你说她要买什么? 雨，店员说。
英语爆笑笑话篇二：现在几点了The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud.""How will that help?" said the second boy."Just do it," insisted the first.Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted,"Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不知道到了晚上几点钟。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
关于幽默的英文笑话阅读
关于幽默的英文笑话阅读冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。
小编精心收集了关于幽默的英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!关于幽默的英文笑话：Blonde DateA blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.''NO!'' yelled the blonde.The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde.Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''关于幽默的英文笑话：Hussein And BushSaddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics."Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"关于幽默的英文笑话：Smart GuyA customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence."Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?""I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.""You sell them here?" the customer asks."Only $5 each," says Green.The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter."You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry."Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!""You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."关于幽默的英文笑话：Burned GrandadA seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:Teacher: Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?Tommy: Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt.Teacher: Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?Tommy: Oh yes Miss, they don't fuck around at those crematoriums.关于幽默的英文笑话：A Poor Choice Of SnackTwo tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, "Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.About five minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, and they continued.Another five minutes passed, and again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry -- I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"。
英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】
竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。
这其中的原因,不仅在于笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且在于,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。
小编精心收集了简单易懂英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!简单易懂英语笑话篇1Iwasoncetoldbyajapanesestudentthatthisisanoldstory.onesaturdayafternoonthegrasshopper,thesnail,andthec entipedeweresittingaroundthegrasshopper'shousedrink ingbeer.Theyranoutofbeerbeforetheywerereadytoquitdrinking,s otheydecidedoneofthemshouldgooutformorebeer.Thesnailsaid,"I'dgo,butI'mkindofslow.besides,grassh opper,thisisyourneighborhoodsoyouknowwheretogo."Thegrasshoppersaid,"Idon'tmindgoing,butmyhoppingwil lshakeupthebeerandwe'llgetsprayedeverytimeweopenone ."sotheydecidedtosendthecentipede;andthegrasshopperex plainedhowtogettothenearestliquorstore.Anhourorsopassedandstillthecentipedehadn'treturned, sothesnailandthegrasshopperdecidedtogolookforhim.Theygotasfarasthethefrontdoorandfoundthecentipedesi ttingthereputtingonhisshoes.submittedbyrodneyA.hoiseth-rothcorporation简单易懂英语笑话篇2Thisjokeneverfailstogetalaugh.Amanslowwittedmanwalkedintoapattentoffice.hewalkedu ptothepatentofficerandsaid,"hey,I'vegotanewideafora mousetrap."(Drawaboxontheblackboard.)"here'sthebox."(Drawaholeinthebox.)"here'sthehole." (Drawacircleinthebottomofthehole)"here'sthecheese." (Drawalineacrosstheholeinthebox.)"here'stheblade.Th emousestickshisheadintheholetogetthecheese,theblade dropsonhisneckandkillshim."Thepatentofficerlooksatthediagram.heunderstandsthat themanisalittleslowsohewantstobekind.heexplainstoth emanthathedoesnotthinkthedesignisreadytobepatentedy et.hetellstheman,"please,workonitsomemore.perhapsIw illbeabletopatentitanothertime."Theslowwittedmansaysthankyouandleavestheoffice.oneweeklatertheslowwittedmanshowsupagain.(Drawtheex actsameexampleontheboardinexactlythesameway.)Theslo wwittedmansays,"Thisisthebox,thisisthehole,thisisth echeeseandthisisthewire.Themousestickshisheadintheh oletogetthecheese,thewirewrapsaroundhisneckandkills him."Thepatentofficer,stilltryingtobekind,makesthesameex cuseasbefore.Theslowwittedmanleaves.oneweeklatertheslowwittedmanreturns.heapproachesthe samepattentofficerandsays,(Theexactsamethings)"here'sthebox.here'sthehole.(Thistimehedrawsazig-za glineacrosstheholeandhedoesnotdrawacircleforthechee se.)Aftercompletingthezig-zagline,theslowwittedmanp roclaims,"andhere'sthesawblade."Thepatentofficernoticesthedesignandthefactthatthatt herisnocheese.heaskstheslowwittedman,"where'stheche ese.""Ah-ha,"saystheslowwittedman."That'sthepoint.Themousestickshisheadinthehole andsays,""wheredidyouputthecheese."(whenthemousespeeksyoumustactlikethemouse.stickyour headoutasiflookingintothetrapandswingitbackandforthasiflookingforthecheese.)Theimplicationisthatthemousewillsawoffhisownheadwhi lelookingforthecheese.rememberthesawblade?submittedbyKarlhartman简单易懂英语笑话篇3AnlawyerAmericanlawyerinvitedaczechoslovakianfriend tostaywithhiminhismountaincabin.earlyinthemorning,t helawyerandhisczechoslovakianfriendwentouttopickber riesfortheirmorningbreakfast.Astheywerepickingblueb erries,alongcametwobigbears-amaleandafemale.Thelawyer,seeingthetwobears,climbedatree.hisfriendwasn'tsoluckyandthemalebearcaughthimandswa llowedhimwhole.Thelawyerdrovehiscartotownasfasthashecouldtogetapol iceman.Thepolicemantookhisgunandrantotheberrypatchw iththelawyer.sureenough,thetwobearswerestillthere."he'sinThATone !"saidthelawyer,pointingtothemale.Thepolicemanlookedatthebears,tookcarefulaimwithhisg un,andshoTTheFemALe."whatdidyoudothatfor!"shoutedthelawyer,"Isaidhewasi ntheotherbear!""exactly,"answeredthepoliceman."wouldyoubelievealaw yerwhotoldyouthattheczechwasinthemale?"(Thecheckisinthemail.)submittedbybonniep.简单易懂英语笑话篇4Amanwantedtobecomeamonksohewenttothemonasteryandtal kedtotheheadmonk.Theheadmonksaid:"youmusttakeavowofsilenceandcanonly saytwowordseverythreeyears."Themanagreedandafterthefirst3years,theheadmonkcamet ohimandsaid,"whatareyourtwowords?""Foodcold!",themanreplied.Threemoreyearswentbyandtheheadmonkcametohimandsaid" whatareyourtwowords?""robedirty!",themanexclaimed.Threemoreyearswentbyandtheheadmonkcametohimandsaid" whatareyourtwowords?""Iquit!",saidtheman."well,theheadmonkreplied,Iamnotsurprised.youhavedon enothingbutcomplaineversinceyougothere!"submittedbybonniep看了“简单易懂英语笑话”的人还看了：1.超简单的英语笑话阅读2.简单易懂的英语翻译笑话3.比较简单的英语笑话阅读4.简单易懂的英语笑话小短文5.简单易懂的英语小笑话最后，小编希望文章对您有所帮助，如果有不周到的地方请多谅解，更多相关的文章正在创作中，希望您定期关注。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)
简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里，因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳，因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。
英语幽默笑话7篇
英语幽默笑话7篇笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。
下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Is he dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。
一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。
那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。
当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmerThere was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
幽默英语笑话合集4篇
幽默英语笑话合集4篇幽默英语笑话1a lady lost her handbag.it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.looking in her purse,she commented,"hmmm....that's funny.when i lost my bag there was a$20bill in it.now there are twenty$1bills."一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。
她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。
”the boy quickly replied,"that's right,lady.the last time i found a lady's purse,she didn't have any change for a reward."“没错，夫人。
”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。
”幽默英语笑话2幽默英语笑话**笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。
而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。
阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!有关于幽默英语笑话：Goldfish PassingLittle Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,he politely asked,"What are you doing there, Nancy?""My goldfish died,"replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."The neighbor was very concerned."That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,"That's because he's inside your fricking cat."有关于幽默英语笑话：Playing Octopushis guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says,"I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it.He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says,"Come on now!Playit!"The octopus replies,"What do you mean play it?!If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it,I'm gonna screw it!"有关于幽默英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.However,as soon as he starts to draw a crowd,the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,a gorilla,has died suddenly.The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.The mime accepts.The next morning,before the crowd arrives,the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage.He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants,play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.However,eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires.He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,he climbs to the top of his cage,crawls across a partition,and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.Of course,this makes the lion furious,but the crowd loves it.At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.Well,this goes on for some time.The mime keeps taunting the lion,the crowds grow larger,and his salary keeps going up.Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion,he slips and falls.The mime is terrified.The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.Finally,the mime starts screaming and yelling,"Help,Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces.The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,"Shut up you idiot!Do you want to get us both fired?"幽默英语笑话3a sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.now,children,said she,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。
【好笑的英文小笑话短文阅读】好笑的笑话
【好笑的英文小笑话短文阅读】好笑的笑话笑话则映射出不同的社会生活,是各民族智慧的集中体现,反映了本民族的生活观和价值观。
小编精心收集了好笑的英文小笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!好笑的英文小笑话短文篇1走私犯The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。
哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
”What's in here?” he asked.里面装的是什么?他问道。
”Dirt,” the driver replied.土。
司机回答。
”Take them out,” the guard instructed. “I want to check them.”把袋子拿出来，哨兵命令道：我要检查。
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。
确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。
哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
”What's in the bags this time?” he asked.这次袋子里装的是什么?他问道。
英式幽默笑话英文版阅读
英式幽默笑话英文版阅读笑话是幽默的语言表达。
它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。
笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。
下面是店铺带来的英式幽默笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!英式幽默笑话阅读篇一我为妈妈煮了一杯茶(双语阅读)Have you notlced that children sometimes tyr to be helpful,but lt makes vour life more complicated? This story is about a sick mother whose darUng daughter want to be a good nurse.不知道你注意到没有，孩子们有时想帮你的忙，但却让你的生活更加复杂。
下面是一位患病的母亲，她可爱的女儿想好好照顾她的故事。
A:Mummy,let me fluff the pillow fo you妈妈，让我把枕头给你抖松。
B:OK.好吧。
A:Mummy,here is a magazine you can read it.妈妈，这是本杂志，你可以看看它。
B:OK.Thank you!好吧。
谢谢你。
A:Mumrny,I make a cup of tea for you,here vou are.妈妈，我为你煮了一杯茶，给你。
B:(Drinking) Why.vou are auch sweetheafi,I didn't know you could make tea.(喝茶)真是好女儿，我不知道休还会煮茶。
A:Oh.yes.I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,and I boiled it.and then I strained it into a cup.But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter.哦，是的，我像你那样把茶叶放在水中，煮开，然后我把它过滤到水杯里。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。
您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
幽默英语小笑话12篇
幽默英语小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的幽默英语小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!幽默英语小笑话：The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”幽默英语小笑话：绝配A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?""Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."一个富有的主妇很是骄傲因为她收藏了一件非常有价值的古董花瓶，于是她决定把卧室粉刷成与花瓶同样的颜色。
幽默的英语笑话短文
幽默的英语笑话短文幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。
下面是小编整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！幽默的英语笑话短文篇1The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant."You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。
”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。
”幽默的英语笑话短文篇2Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
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关于幽默的英文笑话阅读冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。
我精心收集了关于幽默的英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!关于幽默的英文笑话：Blonde DateA blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.''NO!'' yelled the blonde.The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde.Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''关于幽默的英文笑话：Hussein And BushSaddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and againBush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'mgoing back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothinghappens. Bush roars with laughter.When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics."Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"关于幽默的英文笑话：Smart GuyA customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence."Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?""I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.""You sell them here?" the customer asks."Only $5 each," says Green.The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter."You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry."Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!""You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."关于幽默的英文笑话：Burned GrandadA seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:Teacher: Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?Tommy: Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt.Teacher: Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?Tommy: Oh yes Miss, they don't fuck around at those crematoriums.关于幽默的英文笑话：A Poor Choice Of SnackTwo tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled fronttiger turned and said, "Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.About five minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, and they continued.Another five minutes passed, and again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry -- I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"。