英语小笑话非常短

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十个简短的英语小笑话

十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。

小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。

”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。

英语小笑话6篇

英语小笑话6篇店铺为大家整理的一些英语小笑话，希望我们的笑话栏目能够给你的生活带来一丝欢笑。

英语小笑话一：What are the Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。

我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。

我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。

你能答应我吗?噢，当然，奶奶。

女孩说：是哪两个词?英语小笑话二：奇猜异想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。

【英语小笑话带翻译】 20个英语笑话爆笑超短

【英语小笑话带翻译】20个英语笑话爆笑超短笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1Ivancamehomewithabloodynose伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。

andhismotherasked,"Whathappened?"他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”"Akidbitme,"repliedIvan.“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

"Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

"I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan.“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。

"Ihavehisearinmypocket."“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。

”英语小笑话带翻译篇2Theschoolgirlwassittingwithherfeetstrechedfaroutintothe aisle,个女学生坐在座位上，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里andwasbusilychewinggum,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，whentheteacherespiedher.被老师发现了"Mary!"calledtheteachersharply.“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。

"Yes,Madam?"questionedthepupil,“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。

"Takethatgumoutofyourmouthandputyourfeetin!"“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。

”英语小笑话带翻译篇3Amanwalksintoabarandordersabeer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】

竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。

这其中的原因,不仅在于笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且在于,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。

小编精心收集了简单易懂英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!简单易懂英语笑话篇1Iwasoncetoldbyajapanesestudentthatthisisanoldstory.onesaturdayafternoonthegrasshopper,thesnail,andthec entipedeweresittingaroundthegrasshopper'shousedrink ingbeer.Theyranoutofbeerbeforetheywerereadytoquitdrinking,s otheydecidedoneofthemshouldgooutformorebeer.Thesnailsaid,"I'dgo,butI'mkindofslow.besides,grassh opper,thisisyourneighborhoodsoyouknowwheretogo."Thegrasshoppersaid,"Idon'tmindgoing,butmyhoppingwil lshakeupthebeerandwe'llgetsprayedeverytimeweopenone ."sotheydecidedtosendthecentipede;andthegrasshopperex plainedhowtogettothenearestliquorstore.Anhourorsopassedandstillthecentipedehadn'treturned, sothesnailandthegrasshopperdecidedtogolookforhim.Theygotasfarasthethefrontdoorandfoundthecentipedesi ttingthereputtingonhisshoes.submittedbyrodneyA.hoiseth-rothcorporation简单易懂英语笑话篇2Thisjokeneverfailstogetalaugh.Amanslowwittedmanwalkedintoapattentoffice.hewalkedu ptothepatentofficerandsaid,"hey,I'vegotanewideafora mousetrap."(Drawaboxontheblackboard.)"here'sthebox."(Drawaholeinthebox.)"here'sthehole." (Drawacircleinthebottomofthehole)"here'sthecheese." (Drawalineacrosstheholeinthebox.)"here'stheblade.Th emousestickshisheadintheholetogetthecheese,theblade dropsonhisneckandkillshim."Thepatentofficerlooksatthediagram.heunderstandsthat themanisalittleslowsohewantstobekind.heexplainstoth emanthathedoesnotthinkthedesignisreadytobepatentedy et.hetellstheman,"please,workonitsomemore.perhapsIw illbeabletopatentitanothertime."Theslowwittedmansaysthankyouandleavestheoffice.oneweeklatertheslowwittedmanshowsupagain.(Drawtheex actsameexampleontheboardinexactlythesameway.)Theslo wwittedmansays,"Thisisthebox,thisisthehole,thisisth echeeseandthisisthewire.Themousestickshisheadintheh oletogetthecheese,thewirewrapsaroundhisneckandkills him."Thepatentofficer,stilltryingtobekind,makesthesameex cuseasbefore.Theslowwittedmanleaves.oneweeklatertheslowwittedmanreturns.heapproachesthe samepattentofficerandsays,(Theexactsamethings)"here'sthebox.here'sthehole.(Thistimehedrawsazig-za glineacrosstheholeandhedoesnotdrawacircleforthechee se.)Aftercompletingthezig-zagline,theslowwittedmanp roclaims,"andhere'sthesawblade."Thepatentofficernoticesthedesignandthefactthatthatt herisnocheese.heaskstheslowwittedman,"where'stheche ese.""Ah-ha,"saystheslowwittedman."That'sthepoint.Themousestickshisheadinthehole andsays,""wheredidyouputthecheese."(whenthemousespeeksyoumustactlikethemouse.stickyour headoutasiflookingintothetrapandswingitbackandforthasiflookingforthecheese.)Theimplicationisthatthemousewillsawoffhisownheadwhi lelookingforthecheese.rememberthesawblade?submittedbyKarlhartman简单易懂英语笑话篇3AnlawyerAmericanlawyerinvitedaczechoslovakianfriend tostaywithhiminhismountaincabin.earlyinthemorning,t helawyerandhisczechoslovakianfriendwentouttopickber riesfortheirmorningbreakfast.Astheywerepickingblueb erries,alongcametwobigbears-amaleandafemale.Thelawyer,seeingthetwobears,climbedatree.hisfriendwasn'tsoluckyandthemalebearcaughthimandswa llowedhimwhole.Thelawyerdrovehiscartotownasfasthashecouldtogetapol iceman.Thepolicemantookhisgunandrantotheberrypatchw iththelawyer.sureenough,thetwobearswerestillthere."he'sinThATone !"saidthelawyer,pointingtothemale.Thepolicemanlookedatthebears,tookcarefulaimwithhisg un,andshoTTheFemALe."whatdidyoudothatfor!"shoutedthelawyer,"Isaidhewasi ntheotherbear!""exactly,"answeredthepoliceman."wouldyoubelievealaw yerwhotoldyouthattheczechwasinthemale?"(Thecheckisinthemail.)submittedbybonniep.简单易懂英语笑话篇4Amanwantedtobecomeamonksohewenttothemonasteryandtal kedtotheheadmonk.Theheadmonksaid:"youmusttakeavowofsilenceandcanonly saytwowordseverythreeyears."Themanagreedandafterthefirst3years,theheadmonkcamet ohimandsaid,"whatareyourtwowords?""Foodcold!",themanreplied.Threemoreyearswentbyandtheheadmonkcametohimandsaid" whatareyourtwowords?""robedirty!",themanexclaimed.Threemoreyearswentbyandtheheadmonkcametohimandsaid" whatareyourtwowords?""Iquit!",saidtheman."well,theheadmonkreplied,Iamnotsurprised.youhavedon enothingbutcomplaineversinceyougothere!"submittedbybonniep看了“简单易懂英语笑话”的人还看了：1.超简单的英语笑话阅读2.简单易懂的英语翻译笑话3.比较简单的英语笑话阅读4.简单易懂的英语笑话小短文5.简单易懂的英语小笑话最后，小编希望文章对您有所帮助，如果有不周到的地方请多谅解，更多相关的文章正在创作中，希望您定期关注。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]

1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。

短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）

短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。

大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。

其趣味有高下之分。

接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。

英语小笑话段子

英语小笑话段子话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。

小编精心收集了短篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!短篇英语笑话篇1A Woman's Answer女人的回答A husband said to his wife,一位丈夫对妻子说："Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once.“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，"The reason is very simple.“原因很简单。

God made us beautiful so men would love us;上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。

God made us foolish so we would marry them."上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。

”短篇英语笑话篇2你知道我是谁吗?It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。

It was designed to weed out some students.考试旨在淘汰部分学生。

The examination was two hours long.考试时间为两小时。

After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。

英语笑话简短搞笑

英语笑话简短搞笑英语笑话既能让我们快乐，也能让我们学到英语知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话简短搞笑吧!英语笑话简短搞笑(一)A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。

A:Put out your tongue.伸出你的舌头。

B:OK.好的。

Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.于是他伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。

A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.好吧，把舌头伸回去吧，你的病因很明显，你需要更多的运动。

B:But，doctor, I don't think...但是，医生，我不认为……A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.不要告诉我你认为怎么样，我是医生，不是你。

我知道你需要什么。

我看过数以百计像你这样的'病人。

他们没有一个人锻炼过。

他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。

你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。

B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...医生，你不知道，我……A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.我不想听任何理由。

有趣的英文笑话

有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。

“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。

”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。

"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。

有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。

十个英语笑话爆笑超短

十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。

英语幽默短笑话10篇

英语幽默短笑话10篇在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。

下面是店铺整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢!Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

妈妈：今晚停电了。

迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

" 小女孩回答道。

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

又幽默又短的英语笑话

又幽默又短的英语笑话对于笑话，可能只是文字游戏，但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用，知道英语笑话有哪些吗?下面是小编给大家带来的又幽默又短的英语笑话_有趣的笑话英语小短文，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!又幽默又短的英语笑话(一)一切都正常A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned." "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?" "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."又幽默又短的英语笑话(二)老谋深算There was a 75-year-old multi-millionaire who had just married a beautiful 18-year-old blond girl. So his friends asked him, "How did you manage to get an 18-year-old girl to marry you, when you're 75?"And the old man replied, "I told her I was 99, so she would marry me quick!"又幽默又短的英语笑话(三)吝啬鬼的聚会The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"又幽默又短的英语笑话(四)导盲犬帮我看A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."又幽默又短的英语笑话(五)林肯过生日Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.又幽默又短的英语笑话(六)三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。

[关于简短英语笑话4篇]简短英语笑话

[关于简短英语笑话4篇]简短英语笑话Mother:Mary,whydoyouyellandcreamomuchPlayquietlylikeEddie.Se e,hedoen'tmakeaound.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢你看艾迪一声儿都不出。

玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。

Johnwatenyearold,andhewaaverylazyboy."BecauethenI'donlyhavetoworkonedayaweek,"Lohnanwered."Onlyonedayaweek"himotheraid."Whatdoyoumean"约翰10岁了，是一个非常懒的男孩子。

当然他必须去上学，但他厌烦学校，并尽可能地少做功课。

他父母亲两人都是医生，他们两人都希望当他长大后也当个医生，但有一天，约翰对他母亲说，“我上完学，我想当个垃圾收集工。

”“垃圾收集工”他母亲问道。

他母亲非常吃惊。

“那可不是一件令人愉快的工作。

你为什么想当一个垃圾收集工呢”“因为到时候我只需一周工作一天，”约翰回答说。

“一周只工作一天”他母亲说。

“你是什么意思”“嗯，”约翰回答说，“我知道来我们家的那些人只在星期三上班，因为我只在星期三看见他们。

”Teacher:IfIcutabeefteakinhalfandthencutthehalfinhalf,whatdoI getTommy:Quarter.Teacher:AndthenifIcutittwiceagainTommy:Hamburger.老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿汤米：四块。

老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢汤米：汉堡。

Alittleboywawiebeyondhiage.Onedayhecamehomefromthepubliclibr arywithabook.Ittitlewa"TheCareandManagementofChildren"."Oh,mygod,"e某claimedhimotherinatonihment."Whatareyoudoingwithabooklikethat""Oh,"repliedtheprecociou(早熟的)boy,"IwanttoeeifI'mbeingbroughtupproperly."一个早慧的小男孩有一天从公共图书馆回家时带回一本书，书名是《对儿童的照料和管理》。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短

20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

英语小笑话很短的精选

英语小笑话很短的精选网络笑话在一定程度上反映了社会不同阶层间的意识形态和权力属性。

下面是店铺带来的很短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!很短的英语小笑话篇一英语口语居然被人翻译成四川话... ...1.Are you kidding me?你豁老子哦?2.Dude.哥佬倌3.Long time no see.死哪儿切了喃?那么久没qio到你了。

4.What?啥子喃?5.Don"t worry。

虚啥子啊虚。

6.What do you want?你要爪子嘛?7.I can not hold no longer.老子遭不住了。

8.Stupid.瓜娃子。

9.She"s my girlfriend;wife.她是我老妞儿。

10.You are welcome.莫来头;说这些。

11.That"s awesome.简直巴适的板。

12.I have no idea.晓求不得。

13.A little.就那么滴滴儿。

14.I am sure.我呸死了。

打包票。

15.What happened?啥子情况啥子情况?16.It doesn"t make sense. 球名堂莫得。

17.It"s none of your business.管你娃球事啊?18.What a hell? 浪么子搞起在勒。

19.Are you sure.儿豁??20.Are u out of ur mind?你吃醉了所?21.Rock paper scissors. 石千儿。

22.I dont care.管我屁事啊。

23.Kick your ass. 给你娃儿两脚头哦。

24.Dark black。

黢嘛黑。

25.See you.空了吹。

26.Let"s go.撤飘。

27.Shut up.闹啥子。

28.Asshole.斯娃子29.You wanna piece of me.老子给你打燃火。

30.Enjoy!敞欢。

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

关于英语小笑话非常短

关于英语小笑话非常短推荐文章英语短笑话带翻译热度：英语小笑话带翻译简短热度：关于英语小笑话介绍热度： 100字的英语笑话大全热度：英语笑话150字热度：笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。

店铺整理了关于非常短英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!关于非常短英语小笑话篇一What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。

关于非常短英语小笑话篇二Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!关于非常短英语小笑话篇三What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。

关于非常短英语小笑话篇四"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”。