叙事经历类书面表达ppt课件

过去时
◆报道第三段：对于此次活动的评价。
不是你个人的感想，注意写作的角度；只针对此次活动
不是泛指；
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范文：
In order to promote participation in outdoor
exercise, …. The majority of my class joined in the activity. (开头简要交代)
结尾点评简要。两个定语从句扩展信息。
第五档（25-30）
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例：大青山登山活动
审题： 体裁——新闻报道 要点：4月10日，大青山，过程，评论 人称时态：第一人称(活动参与者)，过去式 注意：报道——开头简要交代参与者，时
间地点，登山目的 填补细节时生动翔实地记叙活动（动词） 评论中的要点需与上文的记叙呼应
确定时态（过去式）；确定人称
要点全，有侧重
情节侧重发展高潮，避免流水账，
行文一致性（逻辑一致）
记叙要与议论/评论或感想前后呼应
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过渡衔接
不要一味用长难关联词，流于表面。
时间过度——天然过渡法宝
时间点：at 7’o clock, on May day..
时间段: at dusk, from dawn till dusk, in the
set out for the top in high spirits. In the
course of the climb, we cooperated with
each other to pass the rocky or steep
areas.
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Halfway up the mountain, the leading group patiently waited for those who were trailing behind. Laughing and cheering, we eventually reached the summit, where we were greeted by the bright sunshine and fresh air. Viewed from the top, the city was stunning. Bathing in the warm sunshine, we entertained ourselves with stories, songs, dances and games.
包含所有要点，动词运用得当，多处使用不 定式作状语
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All the elderly found that it was encouraging to see the young lives, who made them feel more energetic. When cared about, the elderly realized that their boring lives were filled with sunshine again.
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记叙为核心内容， 使用了丰富的句式和词汇；
多个非谓语动词作状语，和定语从句 体现语法功底。
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(评论)：This event was extremely beneficial, for not only did we embrace the beauty of nature and take a break from our heavy school workload and our chaotic city lives, but we also experienced the joys of cooperation and achievement. As a result, we strongly suggest that similar events be held every year!
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作文（爬山）分析
人称：第一人称
◆报道第一段：爬山的总结（交待爬山发生的时间；
地点；参与的人物）
过去时
◆报道第二段：爬山的过程；
根据你想写的评论来设计，过程是山脚爬到山顶过程。不
要流水账写到回家；
爬山过程可按时间顺序写（at the beginning… then…
finally/eventually….也可给出具体时间）
1时间，地点，人物，活动 2老人的反应 3简短评论
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Li Yue and Zhang Hua are our school’s volunteers. On June 1st, they went to the Sunshine Nursing Home. They cleaned the house. They played the games with the old men. Then, they sent some apples to the old people. They are very friendly, and they got well with each other. The old people are very happy. Li Yue and Zhang Hua communicated the things with the old people. The old people hoped them work hard. At last, they said good-bye to the old people.
报道开头简要交代参与者时间地点登山目的填补细节时生动翔实地记叙活动动词评论中的要点需与上文的记叙呼应13报道第一段
叙景设定：主人公日记， 新闻稿件
题目设定：图画式情景作文 提纲式
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应试技巧
记叙六要素：
时间，人物，地点，起因，经过，结果
两确定
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语言精准，句式多样
时态，主谓记心头 重视单词拼写 避免词性混乱 关注动词用法，尝试造句练习 变换句子开头，有意识地运用非谓语，
介词短语，副词，从句，等作为句子 开头。
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09浙江: 志愿者LiYue,ZhangHua 去Sunshine Nursing Home敬老 院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫， 聊天等)。写篇新闻报道 要点：
course of, for a while, for the time being,
now and then, lately
时间顺序: on arrival, later, soon, next, then,
afterwards, finally, eventually, in the end,
meanwhile, until, since, no sooner…than,
形式主语结构，to see…做主语；定语从句；
较多词组，好词。
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From my point of view, it is our duty to care for the elderly, who have devoted a lot to our society. In addition, respecting the elderly is also our traditional culture, which should be carried on generation after generation.
Li Yue and Zhang Hua are both good students
in our school. We should remember them. We
should take good care of the old people in our
family.
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点评：
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练习：植树活动 （日记）
记叙六要素：
时间，人物，地点简要交代
起因，经过详细，结果，
确定时态人称
要点全，有侧重：观察画面，确定动词
行文一致性：活动的流程连贯
5分钟审题构思，20分钟写作。先打草 稿，修改后再抄到作文纸上。
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(过程)：Early in the morning, having
assembled outside the school gate, we
headed straight to the thickly-forested
Daqing Mountain. The moment we
arrived at the foot of the mountain, we
be doing…when
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空间过渡
eg: at the foot of the mountain, halfway up the mountain, at the peak of the mountain 因果过渡
主人公进行某些行为的原因，及动作所产出 的结果，找出图片间的隐性信息，无缝对 接。
漏掉了一个信息；基本满足任务的要求， 但语法结构不够丰富，13个句子都是 简单句。非谓语，复合句没有体现， 全篇单调乏味，时态失误，句型结构 有误。上下文句与句之间连接词不到 位，语流存在断裂，结构不紧凑，缺 乏流畅感。基本达到写作目的
第三档。（13-18）
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范文
On May 1st, Li Yue and Zhang Hua, two students from Class 3, Grade 2, reached the Sunshine Nursing Home to work as volunteers. They presented the elderly with fresh fruits to wish them a healthy life. Besides, they helped clean the houses and had nice talk with the elderly in order to ease their loneliness and anxiety.