英语幽默句子

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生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子

生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子

生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子双关具有一箭双雕的特点,在文章或说话中士一种幽默的机智,只要用心观察,就会发现日常生活中有不少具有创意的双关语。

1. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.要节约用水,所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

2. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

3. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.钞票不是万能的,毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

4. One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。

6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

幽默搞笑英语句子

幽默搞笑英语句子

幽默搞笑英语句子幽默搞笑英语句子1、humor, can saying is give people a subtle sense of dispensing the spice of life. For some light humor, can make the atmosphere of the time to change, make the stalled suddenly solve unsolved. - Masayoshi Ohira幽默:可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。

由于某种轻巧的幽默,就可以使当时的气氛为之改观,使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。

——日·大平正芳2、the sense of humour is a sense. Li, Ji Bolun幽默感就是分寸感。

——黎·纪泊伦3、the humor and wit is the flash of wisdom. -- Indira Shakespeare幽默和风趣是智慧的闪现。

——英·莎士比亚4、the humor comes from wisdom, verbal abuse from incompetence. - pine forest幽默来自智慧,恶语来自无能。

——松林5、humor is that workers have confidence in their own career and show the advantage of the signs of their own. -- Engels 幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。

——恩格斯6、humor is not willing to institutional absurdity. - Usher幽默是不肯正经其事的荒谬感。

——厄谢尔7、humor is so gorgeous costumes, is how loyal guard! It is always better than the poet and writer's wisdom; it is itself a talent, it can eliminate ignorance. -- Scott幽默是多么艳丽的服饰,又是何等忠诚的卫士!它永远胜过诗人和作家的智慧;它本身就是才华,它能杜绝愚昧。

英语中最最有趣的好玩句子

英语中最最有趣的好玩句子

英语中最最有趣的好玩句子1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.麻烦没来找你,就别去自找麻烦。

(第一、四个trouble是动词,第二、三个trouble是名词。

)2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong.我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。

(第一个that是连词,引起宾语从句;第二、五个that 是指示代词“那个”;第三个that在这儿相当于名词;第四个that是关系代词,引起定语从句。

)3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.我知道。

你知道。

我知道你知道。

我知道你知道我知道。

4. We must hang together, or we'll be hanged separately.我们必须团结在一起,否则我们将被一个个绞死。

(这是一句双关语。

前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思,后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。

)5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。

(这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。

)6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠?(这是一句回文句,顺着读和倒着读是一样的。

)7. 2B or not 2B, that is a ?生存还是毁灭,那是一个问题。

(这是一种文字简化游戏。

它的意思是:To be or not to be, that is a question. )。

一语双关的幽默英语句子

一语双关的幽默英语句子

一语双关的幽默英语句子网络一语双关的幽默英语句子一语双关的幽默英语句子:下面这些经典的英文名言,我们在生活中也都听说过,用英语说出来同样一语双关,寓意深刻,需要认真体会。

1. Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard and Visa.钞票不是万能的,毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.要节约用水,所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4. Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。

6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they becomeotherwise..聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

讲课幽默文案句子英语

讲课幽默文案句子英语

讲课幽默文案句子英语1. "People say laughter is the best medicine, so get ready for an overdose during this lecture!"2. "Welcome to the school of laughs, where I guarantee you'll learn more about humor than you ever could have imagined."3. "If you're wondering why I'm holding a mic, it's not because I'm the next stand-up comedian, but because I take teaching seriously, even if it means cracking a few jokes along the way."4. "Sit tight and get ready for a rollercoaster ride of laughs and knowledge, my friends."5. "Forget about boring textbooks and dull lecturers, because today,we're spicing things up with humor and joy."6. "I hope you brought your funny bones today, because we're about to break them with laughter!"7. "Who said learning has to be serious? Whoever did, clearly never attended my lectures."8. "Pay close attention, because the jokes I'm about to tell might just be the secret to acing the exam."9. "Knock, knock. Who's there? Learning! Learning who? Learning can be fun, believe it or not!"10. "Consider me your guide through the land of laughs, where humor merges with education in the funniest ways."11. "If you're struggling to stay awake, don't worry, I promise my jokes are guaranteed to keep you engaged and laughing."12. "What did the grammar book say to the students? I'm here to teach you punctuation, so don't comma-late to my lecture!"13. "Why did the math teacher always carry a tube of toothpaste? Because they wanted to show their students how to find the square root!"14. "Has anyone ever told you that laughter is contagious? Well, get ready to spread some joy today!"15. "Who needs a reality TV show when you can witness the craziest adventures in the world of education right here?"16. "Why should history be taught with humor? Because it's the best way to make sure that history doesn't keep repeating itself!"17. "Just a heads up, my jokes might be corny, but they're guaranteed to stick with you longer than any dry lecture."18. "What do you get when you combine a lecturer and a stand-up comedian? The most hilarious and educational experience of your life!"19. "They say laughter is the shortest distance between two people, so let's bridge that gap and have a good laugh together."20. "If you ever catch me referring to my PowerPoint slides as'PowerLaughs,' don't be surprised. I like to have fun with my presentations."21. "Why did the chemistry teacher always use humor in their lectures? Because they knew how to create the perfect mix of education and entertainment!"22. "Remember, it's not just about the material we cover today, but also about the memories we create with laughter."23. "Learning is like a puzzle, but with me, you'll always find the missing piece of fun."24. "Why did the English teacher always tell jokes in class? Because they knew the punchline to acing exams!"25. "T oday's lesson: How to make sure your brain is both educated and tickled at the same time!"26. "Buckle up, because today's lecture is going to be a wild ride of laughter and learning."27. "If you think this lecture is going to be just another snoozefest, think again. I've got jokes up my sleeve!"28. "Why did the geography teacher always carry a map? Because they never wanted to lose their sense of humor, no matter where they were teaching!"29. "By the end of this lecture, I guarantee you'll be laughing so hard, you won't even remember what you learned. Don't worry, that's what the recording is for!"30. "Whoever said that laughter is the best medicine has clearly neverexperienced the enlightenment that comes from a well-timed joke in the classroom."31. "Prepare to embark on a laughter-filled journey through the world of education, where boring becomes hilarious!"32. "Why did the biology teacher make the students laugh? Because they wanted to prove that humor can be the life of any classroom!"33. "Consider me your personal comedian-turned-educator, here to make every lecture a stand-up show of knowledge."34. "Pay attention, everyone, because I have a confession to make: I'm addicted to laughter and I'm determined to make all of you addicts too!"35. "Did you hear about the lecturer who invented a new way of teaching? It's called 'Laugh and Learn,' and I'm about to show you how it's done."36. "You might be wondering why I'm holding a fake flower. Well, it's not to make you laugh (although it might), it's to remind you that education should always bloom with a touch of humor."37. "Why did the physics teacher always tell jokes during class? Because they wanted their students to experience the magical fusion of comedy and science!"38. "Hold onto your seats, because I'm about to drop knowledge bombs disguised as humor!"39. "What do you call a lecture without humor? A missed opportunity for joy, and we won't be missing out today!"40. "If you're looking for a lecture that guarantees both laughter and enlightenment, bing-bang, you've found it!"。

幽默英语套路句子简短

幽默英语套路句子简短

幽默英语套路句子简短1. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged. 我不是懒惰,我只是在动力上有些挑战。

2. My emails are like a sink full of dishes; I should really wash them soon. 我的邮箱就像个满是脏碗的水槽,我真应该抽时间把它们清理干净。

3. My brain decided to take a walk...and still hasn't returned. 我的大脑决定去散步了......至今没回来。

4. Don't annoy me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. 别惹我。

我都快没地方藏尸体了。

5. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks. 我没有跌倒,我只是在进行随机地心引力检查。

6. Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. 野营:你花重金过无家可归者的生活。

7. I'm not a mess; I'm creatively organized. 我并不凌乱,我只是创造性地组织着东西。

8. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to look me in the eye and tell me "no." 我的人生目标是变得非常有钱,能雇人直视我的眼睛告诉我“不”。

9. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. 我不需要Google,我老婆什么都知道。

英语幽默笑话句子

英语幽默笑话句子

英语幽默笑话句子1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!3. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.8. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.10. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.13. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!16. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.20. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!21. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.24. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!26. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.27. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.28. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.29. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!30. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!31. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.32. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.33. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!34. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.35. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.36. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.37. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.39. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.41. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!42. What do cows do for fun? They go to the moooo-vies.43. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.45. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!46. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"47. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.48. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.49. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!总结:以上提供了50个英语幽默笑话句子,希望能给你带来一些欢乐和轻松的时刻。

幽默的英语句子

幽默的英语句子

幽默的英语句子导语:幽默的英语句子1、When two's company, three's the result!两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!2、Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

3、God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

4、There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

5、Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

6、Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。

7、A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

8、Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

9、Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子

生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子

生活中一语双关的幽默英语句子双关具有一箭双雕的特点,在文章或说话中士一种幽默的机智,只要用心观察,就会发现日常生活中有不少具有创意的双关语。

1. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.要节约用水,所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

2. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

3. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.钞票不是万能的,毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

4. One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。

6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

7. The wise never marry,and when they marry theybecome otherwise..聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

英语形容男人很幽默的句子

英语形容男人很幽默的句子

英语形容男人很幽默的句子1. He always has a joke ready to make everyone laugh.2. His sense of humor is infectious; he can lighten up any room.3. He has a clever wit that keeps everyone entertained.4. He can turn the simplest situation into a hilarious anecdote.5. His humor is dry and sarcastic, but always on point.6. He has a quick mind for funny comebacks.7. His laughter is contagious and fills the room with joy.8. He has the ability to find humor in any situation.9. He has a knack for creating funny and memorable one-liners.10. His humor is so subtle and smart that you never see it coming.11. He has an uncanny ability to make any dull gathering lively with his jokes.12. He can find humor in the smallest details, making everyday life more enjoyable.13. His humor is refreshing and never fails to put a smile on people's faces.14. He has the perfect timing –his jokes always land at the right moment.15. He has a talent for impersonations and can mimic famous personalities flawlessly.16. He has a hilarious sense of self-deprecating humor.17. He can naturally turn any awkward situation into a funny anecdote.18. His jokes are so witty and clever that you can't help but burst into laughter.19. He has a talent for wordplay and puns that keeps everyone entertained.20. He has an infectious laughter that is impossible not to join in with.21. He can diffuse tension with a well-timed joke, making everyone feel at ease.22. He has a comedic talent for physical comedy that leaves everyone rolling on the floor laughing.23. He is a master of comedic storytelling, captivating everyone's attention.24. His humorous observations about life always strike a chord with everyone.25. He has a natural ability to make anyone smile, even on their worst days.26. He has a mischievous sense of humor that keeps everyone on their toes.27. He has a gift for improvisation and can spontaneously create hilarious moments.28. He has the ability to find humor in his own mistakes, making him endearing to others.29. He has a playful and light-hearted nature that radiates joy and laughter.30. He can effortlessly bring a smile to anyone's face with his hilarious antics.。

英语宣传文案幽默风趣句子

英语宣传文案幽默风趣句子

英语宣传文案幽默风趣句子1. "English: the only language where 'Monday' is an acceptable result after a division problem."2. "Learning English is like a good joke –it may take a while to get it, but once you do, you can't help but laugh!"3. "English: the only language where you can spell 'fish' as 'ghoti'. Don't believe me? Look it up!"4. "Why did the English language go to therapy? Because it couldn't stop talking in fragments!"5. "Learning English is like playing hide and seek –the more words you know, the better you get at finding them!"6. "English: the language where 'silent letters' are basically grammar ninjas –always present, but rarely seen!"7. "Don't worry if you make mistakes while speaking English –even native speakers have a talent for creating new words!"8. "Why do English teachers always carry red pens? Because grading papers is their way of adding color to their lives!"9. "Learning English requires patience, perseverance, and a willingness to turn 'I can't' into 'I can...'t understand this word yet!'"10. "English: the language that loves confusing learners with words that have multiple meanings –welcome to the synonym samba!"11. "If a picture is worth a thousand words, then learning English givesyou the power to express a million emotions!"12. "Why did the English language break up with Math? Because it couldn't understand why 'seven' and 'eight' didn't make 'nigh'13. "English: the only language where 'read' and 'read' don't rhyme, but 'lead' and 'lead' do! Language, you crazy!"14. "Learning English is like being a detective –you uncover meaning, chase down grammar rules, and become a word-solving hero!"15. "Why was the English dictionary sad? Because it couldn't find meaning in life... until someone opened it up!"16. "English: the language that's so flexible, it can turn 'I can't' into 'I can' –just remove the apostrophe and the 't'!"17. "Learning English is like preparing for a magic show –you'll be amazed at how words can transform your world!"18. "Why did English break up with French? Because it couldn't handle all the accent marks and silent letters!"19. "English: the language that loves puns –because life is just more fun when you're clever with words!"20. "Learning English is like unlocking a treasure chest of knowledge –every new word is a valuable gem to add to your collection!"。

英语经典黑色幽默句子

英语经典黑色幽默句子

英语经典黑色幽默句子1. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."2. "I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make it on Tuesdays.'"3. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"4. "I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't gotten a gig yet."5. "I went to the doctor's office and told him I felt like a deck of cards. He said, 'I'm afraid I can't deal with that.'"6. "I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around."7. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."8. "Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts."9. "I tried to catch some fog, but I mist."10. "I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was takea day off!"11. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."12. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!"13. "Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them."14. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"15. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She lookedsurprised."16. "I asked a French baker if he makes bread on a daily basis. He replied, 'I make baguettes, not today basses.'"17. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"18. "I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make it on Tuesdays.'"19. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!"20. "I started a band called 1023MB. We haven't gotten a gig yet."21. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."22. "I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around."23. "My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."24. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."25. "Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts."。

说话套路幽默句子简短英语

说话套路幽默句子简短英语

说话套路幽默句子简短英语1. "I'm not saying I'm Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?"2. "I'm not saying I'm superstitious, but I believe that if you drop a slice of toast, it will always fall face down."3. "I'm not saying I'm lazy, but my favorite exercise is a combination of stretching and reaching for the remote control."4. "I'm not saying I'm a bad cook, but I can make instant noodles taste like a gourmet meal."5. "I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I have a knack for remembering everything except where I put my car keys."6. "I'm not saying I'm clumsy, but I can trip over air."7. "I'm not saying I'm a mind reader, but I can predict when the vending machine will finally give me the snack I want."8. "I'm not saying I'm a fashion icon, but my clothes usually match... by accident."9. "I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I can turn any simple task into a complicated one."10. "I'm not saying I'm a master chef, but I can burn water."11. "I'm not saying I'm indecisive, but I can never decide which movie to watch on Netflix."12. "I'm not saying I'm brave, but I can handle the scariest part of horrormovies... by closing my eyes."13. "I'm not saying I'm a procrastinator, but I always find time to organize my sock drawer before starting something important."14. "I'm not saying I'm a comedian, but my jokes are so bad, they're good."15. "I'm not saying I'm a night owl, but I could easily qualify for the world championship of binge-watching."16. "I'm not saying I'm accident-prone, but I can get hurt just by trying to open a jar of pickles."17. "I'm not saying I have a sweet tooth, but I consider chocolate a food group."18. "I'm not saying I'm an expert driver, but I can manage to get lost even with a GPS."19. "I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I can remember my childhood dreams in vivid detail, while forgetting what I had for breakfast this morning."20. "I'm not saying I'm a magician, but I can make a full bag of chips disappear in under a minute."21. "I'm not saying I'm a songbird, but I can sing every wrong lyric to every song with pure confidence."22. "I'm not saying I have psychic powers, but I always know when someone is about to sneeze."23. "I'm not saying I'm a health fanatic, but my favorite workout routine involves lifting a cup of coffee to my mouth."24. "I'm not saying I'm a mind reader, but I can tell when someone is about to say something embarrassing just by the look on their face." 25. "I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I can solve a Rubik's Cube... by peeling off the stickers."。

美式英语黑色幽默句子

美式英语黑色幽默句子

美式英语黑色幽默句子1.When someone presents a very questionable viewpoint.I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.2.When someone calls you crazyI don it suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.3.When Bey on cé concert tickets go on saleMy wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.4.When someone is oversharing their vast knowledgeUnless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.5.When nothing is going your wayLife is a bowl of soup, and I am a fork.6.When your family is concerned about your weightI get enough exercise from pushing my luck.7.When people ask why you are still singleMy bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.8.When it is time to get a haircutI don it need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a newhairstyle every morning.9.When someone won it stop complainingCancel my subscription—I don it need your issues.10.When someone asks how you like your jobThe best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.。

幽默句子推荐男生短句英语

幽默句子推荐男生短句英语

幽默句子推荐男生短句英语1. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.2. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.3. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.4. I'm not a weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.5. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about we exchange numbers?6. I'm not a chef, but I can definitely spice up your life.7. I'm not a magician, but I can make you disappear from all your problems.8. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a heart check-up.9. I'm not a painter, but I can definitely make your world colorful.10. I'm not a pilot, but I can take you to cloud nine.11. I'm not a detective, but I can definitely solve the mystery of your heart.12. I'm not a firefighter, but I can definitely ignite the spark between us.13. I'm not a superhero, but I can be your knight in shining armor.14. I'm not a singer, but I can definitely hit all the right notes with you.15. I'm not a gardener, but I can definitely plant a seed of love in your heart.16. I'm not a mechanic, but I can definitely fix your broken heart.17. I'm not a chef, but I can definitely cook up some love for you.18. I'm not a magician, but I can make your worries disappear with a smile.19. I'm not a poet, but I can definitely write a love poem for you.20. I'm not a lawyer, but I can definitely defend your heart in court.。

社交开场幽默句子简短英语

社交开场幽默句子简短英语

社交开场幽默句子简短英语1. "Is it just me, or is this place filled with the friendliest people on earth?"2. "I was told socializing burns calories, so I figured I should come here and work off those extra pounds."3. "I hope you all came prepared with your best jokes, because I'm here to laugh!"4. "They say laughter is the best ice breaker, so how about we all share our funniest stories?"5. "I heard mingling is the new cardio, so let's get our heart rates up and start socializing!"6. "I must warn you, I have a black belt in small talk. Watch out!"7. "I used to be an introvert. Then I discovered socializing. Now, you can't get me to stop talking!"8. "I'm the unofficial social director tonight. If you need any assistance with making new friends, just point in my direction."9. "I can't promise I'll dance, but I can guarantee I'll make you laugh. Or at least try."10. "They say life is like a party, so I'm here to find my dance partners."11. "I think we should all get together and form a socializing club. We can call it 'The Talkative Tribe.'"12. "They say the secret to a successful social gathering is good food and laughter. Luckily, we have both tonight!"13. "Anyone else here to collect a stamp in their socializing passport?"14. "I'm practicing my socializing skills tonight. How about we all try to break some records together?"15. "I heard that each social interaction adds an hour to your life. So, by the end of tonight, I might live forever!"16. "I hope you all came prepared with your best party tricks, because I'm ready to be amazed!"17. "They say the secret to being a social butterfly is having great opening lines. Well, here I am!"18. "I brought my A-game tonight, and by A-game, I mean my arsenal of hilarious jokes."19. "I've been working on perfecting my mingling skills. I'm like a ninja, but instead of fighting, I conquer small talk!"20. "I'm on a mission tonight to make everyone smile. Prepare for excessive laughter!"21. "I heard someone say that socializing is a workout for the soul. Consider me your personal trainer!"22. "I'm here for the world record attempt at the longest and most entertaining conversation. Who's with me?"23. "They say laughter is contagious, so let's start an epidemic tonight!"24. "I heard tonight's theme is socializing, and I couldn't resist the opportunity to be the life of the party."25. "I may not have a Ph.D. in socializing, but I do have a Ph.D... in Party Hosting!"26. "I hope you all brought your sense of humor tonight, because mine is on fire!"。

正能量幽默的句子短语英语

正能量幽默的句子短语英语

正能量幽默的句子短语英语1. "I asked the gym trainer if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, 'Sure, just give me a minute.'"2. "I tried to catch some fog, but I mist."3. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"4. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."5. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"6. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"7. "Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!"8. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!"9. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"10. "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."11. "I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together."12. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."13. "Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."14. "I just got a job at a bakery because I knead dough."15. "A friend in need is a pest indeed."16. "Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"17. "My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."18. "I wouldn't buy anything with velcro, it's a total rip-off."19. "I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear."20. "I'm trying to lose weight, but it's an uphill battle. My fridge is on the first floor."21. "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems."22. "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."23. "Why don’t they play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!"24. "I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'"25. "My girlfriend said she needed time and space. I said, 'That's a good idea, we should be far apart for a while.'"26. "I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something."27. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough"28. "Smoking will kill you... bacon will kill you... but smoking bacon will cure it."29. "Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bay-gulls!"30. "I don't trust these stairs, they're always up to something."。

有关生活的幽默句子英语

有关生活的幽默句子英语

有关生活的幽默句子英语1. Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.2. I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.5. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.6. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.8. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.10. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.11. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.12. I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"13. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.14. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!15. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.16. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.17. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.18. I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered,"They're right behind you!"19. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.20. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!21. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.22. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.23. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.24. I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"25. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.26. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!27. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.。

双关幽默的英语句子

双关幽默的英语句子

双关幽默的英语句子1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!3. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.4. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.5. I'm reading a book about mazes. It's so confusing, I can't find my way out!6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.7. I'm friends with a baker. We have a lot of dough together.8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I kneaded more dough.9. I'm friends with a baker. We're always rolling in the dough.10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always loafing around.11. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always in a jam.12. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a sticky situation.13. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a crusty situation.14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was alwaysgetting into a knead for more dough.15. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a roll.16. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a slice of trouble.17. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a floury mess.18. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a yeast of problems.19. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a half-baked situation.20. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a doughnut of issues.21. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a bun fight.22. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough bread. I was always getting into a roll of dough.。

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幽默的英语句子1) Money is not everything. There…s Mastercard & Visa.钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。

2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4)Love the neighbor. But don…t get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个女人。

6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。

9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

(老外也保守,要摸黑办事,哈哈)11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "现在的梦想决定着你的将来",所以还是再睡一会吧。

13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? ""努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明。

15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! ""工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作。

16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

17)When two…s company, three…s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多,忘记的越多,忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着?1.国外有个节目采访lord of ring(指环王)里面那个小哈比人时,他讲了个冷笑话:Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name?(一只鹿,没有眼睛,应该叫什么?)A: I don‟t know ,what is it?(我不知道,该叫什么?)Q: no eye deer……(no idea)(没眼睛鹿……没主意(英语口语的谐音))agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name?(那么,一只鹿,没眼睛,也没有腿,该叫什么?)A: I don‟t know, what's it then?(我还是不知道,应该叫什么?)Q: still no idea……”(还是没眼睛鹿(用了谐音))2.某次英文考试有两道题目:1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。

2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。

正确答案应为:1)I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.2)As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.但是某生的答案是:1)Shit!2)Hello?3老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money,并让同学们翻译。

有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。

”4小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。

过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。

他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!5某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu.外宾曰:我他妈还是方片七呢!6江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。

外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。

翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。

”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。

翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."7一对热恋中的男女。

女生非常没有安全感,于是对着男友说:“SAY …I LOVE YOU!!‟SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”男的答道:“IT!”8某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.9某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week”。

签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.”该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female”,官楞之,曰:“shouldn‟t it be male?”男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.和“Kiss”有关的词汇kiss-ass n.马屁精,谄媚者, 奉承kiss good-bye 吻别, 放弃,失去kiss of death n.死神之吻,乍看有益但会导致毁灭的行为kiss of life n.生命之吻kiss of live n.口对口人工呼吸kiss of peace [宗] 接吻礼,团结友爱的接吻kiss the rod v.甘心受罚kiss the post v.吃闭门羹;为时过晚blow a kiss 飞吻vacuum kiss 真空吻(*ing the air out of one‟s partner‟s mouth and l ungs)French kiss 法式接吻(kiss with your mouth open and your tongues touching)Platonic kiss 柏拉图之吻(short kiss on the check for greeting)Smooch v/n 热吻Peck n 匆匆轻吻经典英语绕口令1. Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.2. Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.3.Please, Paul, pause for applause.4.“Shall I show you the shop for shoes and shirts?” Shirley said to shelly.5.Do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?6.Paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.7.I'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.8.A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.9.It is a fine thing to sing in Spring, I think.10.Famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.11.I am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of Jazz.12.In winter the weather in Wales is wild13.I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.14.Mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.15.Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.英语谚语500句(A:51--100)51) A man becomes learned by asking questions.不耻下问才能有学问。

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