看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语

I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno

“我有一个计划，可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争。我们这么做。我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来。我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里。他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂。只要6个月！”-杰·雷诺

"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno

“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人，用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码，买彩票中了奖。这个家伙中了1500美元。当然，伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里，是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局，来吸走富人的钱。但是，请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆。州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局，来吸走穷人的钱。”——杰·雷诺

"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno

“这里有多少人观看了昨晚总统的新闻发布会？当他被问到‘为什么等了三天他才大声疾呼表示反对AIG的奖金计划’的时候，你知道，他昨晚有点儿不高兴，奥巴马总统说，他喜欢在说话之前知道自己要说的是什么。所以，这又一是一项与布什的政策完全相反的奥巴马政策。”——杰·雷诺

"No, President Obama also unveiled his new border policy to fight the Mexican drug wars. Interesting. It consists of the feds buying up to 80 percent of all the Mexican cartels. You see, we're going to get all the toxic drugs out of the system. We're going to buy them up. We will be owners of the drug cartels. I'm trying to get something with that joke and it's going nowhere." “不，奥巴马总统还推出了新的边境政策，以打击墨西哥的毒品交易。有趣的是。新的政策是：由联邦政府收购所有墨西哥毒品垄断集团多达百分之八十的股份。看，我们将把所有的有毒资产——毒品从系统中清除掉。我们将把它们全部买进。我们将成为毒品集团的所有者。我试图从中找些笑话，可我实在找不到。”——杰·雷诺

"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" “许多人都在抱怨，说奥巴马正在变得过于照本宣科了。昨晚，他正在和老婆米歇尔亲密的时候，老婆突然说，‘等等，你是不是正在用电子提词机啊？’”-吉米·法伦

"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon

“你听说了吗？Nickelodeon儿童电视频道呼吁，所有的小孩在地球日那天拔掉家里电子设备的电源线一分钟，以教育他们尊重环境的重要性。我认为这是一个很好的主意，除非孩子们那天正在探访疗养院里的祖母。那样的话那断电的一分钟会是相当难受的。海棉宝宝谋杀祖母，怎么回事啊？”——吉米·法伦

"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic