英语经典幽默故事

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[英语经典幽默故事四则]英语小故事3分钟幽默

[英语经典幽默故事四则]英语小故事3分钟幽默

[英语经典幽默故事四则]英语小故事3分钟幽默英语经典幽默故事四则英语经典幽默故事四则经典幽默英语故事:好消息和坏消息A man gets a telephone call from a doctor. The doctor says: “About this medical test I did on you,I have some good news and some bad news.” 一个男人接到一了一位医生打来的电话。

医生说:“是关于我给你做过的体检的事,有个好消息还有个坏消息。

” The man asks for the good news first: 那个男人先要听好消息: “The good news is that you have 24 hours to live,” says the doctor. “好消息就是你还能活24小时。

”医生说。

The man, incredulously: "If that is the good news, then what is the bad news" 那个男人觉得有些不可思议说:“如果那叫做好消息的话,那坏消息是什么呢” "I couldn’t reach you on the phone yesterday.” “我昨天打电话找不到你。

” 经典幽默英语故事:中奖A man rushes into his house and yells to his w wife,"Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!” 一个男人冲进家门对他的妻子大声嚷:“玛莎,收拾你的行李,我刚刚底了加州彩券!” Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold" 玛莎问:“我是该带冬装还是夏装呢” The man responds,"I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”那个男人回答说:“我可不管,只要你能尽快地搬出这个房子!” 经典幽默英语故事:每个人都这样吗Lifeguard: "I’ve been watching you sir, and you’11 have to stop urinating in the pool.” 救生员:“我已经观察你很久了,先生,你不能往游泳池里小便。

英文搞笑故事

英文搞笑故事

英文搞笑故事Once upon a time, in a small English village, therelived a man named John who was known for his love of practical jokes. He was always playing tricks on hisfriends and family, and they never knew what to expect from him.One day, John decided to play a prank on his best friend, Tom. He knew that Tom was deathly afraid of spiders, so he came up with a plan to scare him. John found arealistic-looking fake spider and placed it inside Tom's lunchbox. When Tom opened his lunchbox and saw the spider, he let out a blood-curdling scream and jumped out of his seat. Everyone in the lunchroom burst into laughter, including Tom once he realized it was just a joke.Another time, John decided to prank his sister, Sarah. He knew that she was very particular about her appearance, so he snuck into her room and replaced all of her shampoo with green hair dye. When Sarah went to take a shower, shecame out with bright green hair and a look of horror on her face. John couldn't contain his laughter as Sarah chasedhim around the house, threatening to get revenge.But John's love for practical jokes didn't just stopwith his friends and family. He also enjoyed pulling pranks on unsuspecting strangers. One day, he dressed up as aclown and stood on a street corner, pretending to be a statue. As people walked by, he would suddenly come to life and scare them, causing them to jump and scream in surprise. Some people found it funny, while others were not amused at all.Despite his mischievous nature, John was well-liked by everyone in the village. His jokes brought laughter and joy to those around him, and he had a knack for lightening the mood in any situation. His friends and family never knew what he would come up with next, but they always looked forward to his next prank.One day, John decided to take his pranks to the next level. He planned a huge practical joke that would involvethe entire village. He enlisted the help of his friends and together they set up an elaborate hoax that had everyone fooled. When the truth was finally revealed, the whole village erupted into laughter, and John was hailed as the ultimate prankster.From that day on, John's reputation as the king of practical jokes was solidified. His hilarious antics became the stuff of legend, and he was celebrated for bringing so much laughter and joy to the village. And even though he continued to pull pranks on everyone, his friends andfamily wouldn't have it any other way. After all, life with John around was always an adventure, and they wouldn't have it any other way.。

马克吐温经典幽默小故事

马克吐温经典幽默小故事

马克吐温经典幽默小故事马克吐温(Mark Twain)是美国著名的作家,其作品以幽默风格和精巧的讽刺而闻名于世。

他的经典幽默小故事给读者带来无尽的乐趣和思考。

下面,我们将分享几个马克吐温经典的幽默故事,让您在笑声中思考人生的哲理。

故事一:温柔的拒绝有一天,一位年轻人带着一束鲜花向一位年轻女士表白。

女士面对这份爱意,微笑着说:“非常感谢你的真心,但是我们并不适合在一起。

”年轻人失望地问:“为什么呢?”女士轻声答道:“因为我是饭店的服务员,而你是建筑师。

我们的生活背景和追求不一样。

”听到这里,年轻人鼓起勇气说:“在我眼里,你比建筑师更加美丽。

只要你愿意,我将一生为你服务!”女士被他的坚持和真诚打动,最终答应了他的求婚。

故事二:装神弄鬼的驴子有一天,马克吐温在农场散步时,看到农场主喂一只顽皮的驴子时,怀着调皮的心思决定捉弄一下。

他把襟裳系在驴子的尾巴上,然后趁机用树枝打驴子,驴子以为是被追打的,就奋力向前跑。

于是,就有了一个画面:驴子在田野里飞奔,像被拉动的风筝一样,农场主和其他工人追着驴子尽情发笑。

当终于捉弄结束,驴子满头大汗、筋疲力尽地停了下来,马克吐温也躲得老远。

农场主虽然被捉弄但是也明白是他马克吐温的恶作剧,大笑着朝他竖起了大拇指。

故事三:智者的解密某日,一个年轻人对智者说:“你是如此聪明,能解开一切谜题。

请告诉我,世界上有多少颗星星?”智者微笑着说:“让我思考一下。

”年轻人等待了很久,智者冷静地回答:“星星的数量就像你的问题一样多。

”年轻人疑惑地问:“什么意思?”智者笑着说:“当你无法数清星星的数量时,就得出了答案。

”年轻人恍然大悟,原来有些问题是无法用具体数字来回答的。

故事四:勇敢的老兵有一天,一位年迈的老兵来到了一个小镇,他大声宣布:“我可以不付钱,但给我一杯酒。

”当地人好奇地问他:“这样的请求需要勇气,你为什么这样做?”老兵坚定地回答:“因为我从未尝过酒的味道。

”众人纷纷笑了起来,有人拿来了一杯酒递给老兵。

幽默英语小故事

幽默英语小故事

幽默英语小故事Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell jokes. He was known far and wide for his ability to make people laugh, and he took great pride in his talent. One day, he decided to try his hand at telling jokes in English, even though it was not his native language. He thought it would be a fun challenge, and he was eager to see if he could make people from different cultures laugh.The man started by learning some basic English jokes and practicing them in front of the mirror. He paid close attention to his pronunciation and intonation, making sure that he sounded as natural as possible. After weeks of preparation, he felt confident enough to try out his jokes on a group of English-speaking friends.The man's friends were initially skeptical when he told them that he had jokes to share in English. They knew that English was not his first language, and they were unsure if his jokes would translate well. However, as soon as the man began telling his jokes, their skepticism turned to delight. His delivery was so enthusiastic and his timing so perfect that they found themselves laughing harder than they had in a long time.Encouraged by his friends' positive reactions, the man decided to take his jokes to a wider audience. He started performing at open mic nights and comedy clubs, and before long, he had developed a following of fans who eagerly awaited his next performance. His jokes were a hit not only with English speakers, but also with people from all over the world who appreciated his universal sense of humor.One day, the man was invited to perform at a comedy festival in a foreign country. He was thrilled at the opportunity to share his jokes with an entirely new audience, but he was also nervous about how they would be received. As he took the stage, he could feel the eyes of the crowd on him, and he wondered if his jokes would translate well across cultural boundaries.To his relief and joy, the audience responded to his jokes with uproarious laughter. They appreciated the clever wordplay and the universal themes of his humor, and theymade him feel right at home in their country. The man realized that humor truly knows no borders, and that laughter is a language that everyone can understand.From that day on, the man continued to tell his jokes in English, and he became known as a master of cross-cultural comedy. He proved that no matter where you come from, a good joke will always bring people together and bring joy to their hearts.In the end, the man learned that language is no barrier to humor, and that a good joke will always transcend cultural differences. He continued to spread laughter wherever he went, and he became a beloved figure in the world of comedy. And as he looked back on his journey, he knew that he had found his true calling in making people laugh, no matter what language they spoke.。

马克吐温的幽默小故事

马克吐温的幽默小故事

马克吐温的幽默小故事马克·吐温的幽默小故事马克·吐温(Mark Twain)是美国文学史上最重要的作家之一,也是一位以幽默和智慧著称的作家。

他的作品中常常融入了讽刺和幽默的元素,给读者带来了无尽的乐趣。

下面将为大家讲述一些马克·吐温的幽默小故事。

故事一:驴子和青蛙有一天,马克·吐温去乡间住宿,在小屋后面发现了一只坐在水桶里的青蛙。

他好奇地看着青蛙,突然有人过来,告诉他这只青蛙的呱呱声很特别,能够带来好运。

马克·吐温对此感到不可思议,于是问道:“那只有一只青蛙还是别的动物也行?”这让在场的人都哈哈大笑。

马克·吐温挠挠头,也跟着大笑了起来,他意识到自己刚才问了一个愚蠢的问题。

故事二:病逝的嬰孩马克·吐温在一次聚会上听说,有一对年轻夫妇的小孩不幸病逝。

他深感惋惜,于是亲自去看望这对夫妇。

在他们的家中,马克·吐温看见婴儿躺在悲伤的父母怀中。

他十分感慨,然而,他突然有个奇怪的念头。

他问道:“你们准备好送去火葬场了吗?”这个问题让在场的人震惊不已,他们没想到马克·吐温竟然会说出这样的话。

但很快,大家都笑了起来,因为他们明白马克·吐温说这番话只是为了缓解这对夫妇的悲伤。

故事三:幽默的介绍词马克·吐温在一次社交场合上被要求为一个演讲者做介绍。

他在台上保持着严肃的表情,然而他的介绍却颇有些幽默。

他说道:“接下来我要介绍的是一位演讲者,他是一个非常重要的人物,无与伦比的风采和智慧。

不过,抱歉的是,他今天没来。

”全场爆发出热烈的笑声,连演讲者本人也忍不住笑了起来。

马克·吐温成功地将气氛调动起来,并给了这个演讲者一个轻松愉快的开场。

以上就是一些马克·吐温的幽默小故事,这些故事不仅展现了他独特的幽默感,同时也向我们传达了一个信息:在任何情况下,幽默都是化解尴尬和减轻压力的一剂良药。

希望大家通过这些小故事,能够更好地欣赏和理解马克·吐温的作品,同时也能从中获得一些乐趣和启发。

马克吐温的幽默小故事

马克吐温的幽默小故事

马克吐温的幽默小故事马克吐温(Mark Twain)是美国著名的作家和幽默家,他以其幽默诙谐的文风和精彩的故事而蜚声世界。

他的作品中充满了讽刺和幽默,给人们带来了无尽的欢乐和思考。

下面将为大家介绍几个马克吐温的幽默小故事,让我们一起笑一笑。

故事一:失物招领有一次,有一个吝啬鬼丢失了一只钱包,他在报纸上刊登了一则失物招领的广告。

广告写道:“丢失一个钱包,里面装有500美元现金,请将钱取出后,将钱包送还给我。

”当看到这则广告的人们都惊讶不已。

他们纷纷议论:“这个人真是太吝啬了!”故事二:捉迷藏一天,马克吐温和他的朋友们一起玩捉迷藏。

他们选定了一片森林作为游戏的区域。

大家都在疯狂地奔跑着,寻找好地方藏身。

马克吐温乘机找到了一个理想的藏身之处,躲在一棵大树后面。

当他悄悄探头时,却发现其他人都跑到了另一个区域。

于是,他心生一计,假装跑去另一个区域,并大声喊道:“我在这里,你们找错了!”结果,别人都跑回他隐藏的那片区域,而他则早已悄悄离开,哈哈大笑。

故事三:测试智商马克吐温有一天遇到一个自命不凡的人,他总是自夸自己的智商非常高。

马克吐温笑着对他说:“我可以当场给你一个智商的测试题,看看你的聪明才智。

”那个人一听心怀得意,马上答应了。

马克吐温拿起一杯装满酒的杯子走到桌前,然后拿出一只苍蝇,将苍蝇放入杯子里,随即转过身去。

不一会儿,马克吐温回过头来,看看那个人,然后笑着问道:“请问这杯酒里有没有一只苍蝇呢?”那个人仔细地打量了一会儿,然后自信地回答:“没有。

”马克吐温听了,笑得更开心了:“呵呵,真是聪明啊。

那我再问你一句,刚才那只苍蝇飞到哪里去了呢?”那个人一时间愣住了,他被马克吐温的问题弄得不知所措。

故事四:识破骗局马克吐温在一家赌场里玩扑克牌,遇到了一个骗子。

骗子利用技巧很快就赢得了马克吐温的赞赏。

马克吐温表示:“你的本事让我佩服,你赢了那么多钱,我真不忍心再斗下去了。

但是,我有一个要求,你能告诉我你作弊的方法吗?”骗子这才意识到自己的破绽,无法拒绝马克吐温的请求。

英语幽默小故事带翻译

英语幽默小故事带翻译
翻译:汤姆:你爱我只是因为我父亲留给我一大笔财产吗?
安妮:亲爱的,一点也不,不管是谁留给你钱,我都会爱你。
故事三:The Blind Man(盲人)
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
经理跑过去问那个男人,“你在干什么?!”
盲人回答,“我只是想看看周围。”
故事四:The Art of Conversation(交谈的艺术)
Teacher: “Can anyone give me three points of similarity between a giraffe and a refrigerator?”
英语幽默小故事带翻译
故事一:The Interview(面试)
John went for an interview at a big company. After the interview, the HR manager said, “You are very suitable for the job. But I'm afraid you won't be able to start until Monday.”
The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!”
The blind man responds, “Just looking around.”
翻译:一个盲人带着导盲犬走进一家商店。突然间,他抓起狗的牵引绳开始把狗甩到头顶上。

初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事英语笑话100篇

初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事英语笑话100篇

初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事英语笑话100篇初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事篇一富有的邻居Rich neighborPeter: Our neighborhood was quite richPeter:我们的邻居非常富有Thor: How rich was?Thor:怎么富有了Peter: The miniature golf course had caddiesPeter:他最小的一个高尔夫球场都有球童的啊~初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事篇二If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?“ said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。

After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet, 沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。

”Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? “enquired the teacher wi th a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂,先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?””Well ,actually I don't,“said thestudent ,”but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself.“这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。

”初一看得懂的英语笑话小故事篇三The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are thebest at apprehending criminals.洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局,都想要证明他们最会逮捕罪犯。

英语幽默笑话带翻译篇

英语幽默笑话带翻译篇

英语幽默笑话带翻译篇笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。

精心收集了关于英语幽默笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!关于篇1 What Will Be the Headline When a manin Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. " The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon. "Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '" "Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut." "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'" 标题是什么一位男子在乔治亚州的麦根城遇到一条狗在袭击一个男孩。

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。

国外经典幽默故事四则

国外经典幽默故事四则
约翰逊先生:太好了。既然您不用网球拍,那我可以借用一下吗?
国外经典幽默故事:班和笨驴
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.
有一个小女孩走丢了,于是她走到一个警察跟前说:“我妈妈不见了!”这个警察说:“她什么样子?”小女孩回答:“买东西和说闲话!”
国外经典幽默故事:所有的烟卷都会点着的
Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.‘I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday .’‘Don't worry ,dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later .’He said with a smile.
今天下午你准备用割草机吗?
Mr. Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon?
约翰逊先生:今天下午你准备用割草机吗?
Mr. Smith.Yes.
史密斯先生:是的。
Mr. Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it ?
后来劳里教授来了,也想开开玩笑,他擦掉了字母“I ”( ass:笨驴)。

英语幽默故事小短文

英语幽默故事小短文

英语幽默故事小短文Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell jokes. He was known as the funniest person in his village, and people would gather around him just to hear his latest joke or funny story. One day, he decided to take his humor to the next level and try his luck in the big city.As soon as he arrived in the city, he started telling his jokes to everyone he met. At first, people laughed and enjoyed his humor, but soon they started to get tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again. The man didn't realize that he needed to come up with new material if he wanted to keep people entertained.One day, he came across a comedy club and decided to give it a try. He signed up for an open mic night and got on stage to perform. However, as soon as he started telling his jokes, the audience didn't find them funny at all. They were all bored and unimpressed with his performance.Feeling dejected, the man went to a nearby park to clear his head. As he sat on a bench, he noticed a group of children playing and laughing together. He couldn't help but smile at their innocence and joy. Suddenly, he had an idea. He decided to start telling his jokes to the children, and to his surprise, they found him absolutely hilarious.The man realized that he had been trying too hard to impress the wrong audience. From that day on, he became known as the best children's entertainer in the city. He would perform at birthday parties and school events, bringing laughter and joy to all the children he met.The moral of the story is that sometimes, we need to change our approach and find the right audience for our talents. Just because one group of people doesn't appreciate us, it doesn't mean that there isn't another audience out there who will love what we have to offer. We should always be open to new opportunities and never give up on sharing our gifts with the world. Laughter is a universal language, and there will always be someoneout there who will appreciate our sense of humor. So, let's keep spreading joy and happiness wherever we go!。

英语笑话-最经典的爆笑中式英语,专门用来搞笑的

英语笑话-最经典的爆笑中式英语,专门用来搞笑的

英语笑话最经典的爆笑中式英语,专门用来搞笑的中国式英语分为两种。

一种是Chinese English,一种是China English。

其中Chinese English就是Chinglish,是用中式的语法和英式的词汇组合成的,属于语言不规范使用。

而China English指的则是中国特有的东西,是允许存在的。

比如“饺子、功夫、气功、阴阳”等词,都用音译进入了英文词典。

生活中的Chinglish(中式英语)既是小错误小尴尬,也会令人捧腹大笑。

1. How are you ? How old are you? 怎么是你,怎么老是你?2. You have seed. I will give you some color to see see. Brothers!Together up! 你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!3. Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse”sson can make hole! 龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞!4. Chickens That Did Not Have Sexual Experience 童子鸡5. Four Glad Meatballs 直译:四个开心的肉球被用为:四喜丸子6. Wash after relief 用过请冲水解释:中国的厕所光冲(flush)不行,居然还要“洗”(wash)!7. You ask me,me ask who?你问我,我问谁8. Heart flower angry open. 心花怒放9. One car come,one car go,two car pengpeng,one car died! 关于一场车祸的描述10. Horse horse tiger tiger. 马马虎虎11. Good good study, day day up. 好好学习,天天向上12. No three no four. 不三不四13. Know is know, noknow is noknow. 知之为知之,不知为不知If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有,要命一条14. watch sister 表妹15. fire big 火大16. Go past, no mistake past. 走过路过,不要错过17. As far as you go to die. 有多远,死多远18. We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁?19. people moumtain people sea 人山人海英语笑话英语小笑话英文笑话英语幽默小故事。

幽默故事英语

幽默故事英语

幽默故事英语Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell jokes. His name was Jack, and he was known far and wide for his sense of humor. One day, Jack decided to enter a comedy competition. He spent weeks preparing his routine, practicing his delivery, and perfecting his timing. Finally, the day of the competition arrived.As Jack stepped onto the stage, he was filled with nerves. The audience was packed with people, all waiting to hear his jokes. But as soon as he started speaking, the crowd erupted into laughter. Jack's jokes were a hit, and he had the audience in stitches from start to finish. When the competition ended, Jack was declared the winner, and he was awarded a trophy for his comedic talents.Another funny story involves a cat named Whiskers. Whiskers was no ordinary cat he had a mischievous streak a mile wide. One day, Whiskers decided to play a prank on his owner. While his owner was out of the house, Whiskers snuck into the kitchen and knocked over a bag of flour. When his owner returned, the entire kitchen was covered in a thick layer of white powder. Whiskers sat innocently in the middle of the mess, looking pleased with himself. His owner couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the mischievous cat.Then there was the time a group of friends went on a camping trip. As they sat around the campfire, one of the friends, Sarah, decided to tell a ghost story. She spun a tale of a haunted campground, complete with spooky sounds and eerie sightings. As Sarah reached the climax of her story, she let out a blood-curdling scream. The rest of the group jumped in fright, only to realize that Sarah had been pranked by a friend who had snuck up behind her and grabbed her shoulder. The group erupted into laughter, and the ghost story was quickly forgotten as they all enjoyed a night of fun and laughter.In conclusion, humor is a universal language that has the power to bring people together and lift spirits. Whether it's through a well-timed joke, a playful prank, or a funny story, humor has the ability to brighten even the darkest of days. So, let's all take a moment to appreciate the joy and laughter that humor brings into our lives. After all, asthe saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine." And who doesn't love a good dose of laughter?。

经典国外幽默故事阅读

经典国外幽默故事阅读

经典国外幽默故事阅读国外经典幽默故事:三个修道士There were three pious monks. These monks were so pious,in fact,that the head abbot decided one day to reward their devotion by granting them each one day of sin,on the condition that they confess their activities to him at the end of the day.有三个虔诚的修道士,他们非常的虔诚,以至于修道院院长决定,在他们愿意交待一天的所作所为的条件下,允许他们每个人犯一回戒,以示对他们虔诚的奖励。

So,the day come,and the three monks went off into the night to indulgein all manner of sin.所以,当这天夜色来临的时候三个修道土就趁着夜色下山去犯戒去了。

The first monk sauntered in at 1:00 in the morning, and tried to sneak upstairs to bed. But the head abbot,who was waiting up for the three,stopped him and demanded that he relate his doings.第一个修道士在凌晨一点的时候悄悄地回来了,他想偷偷的上楼睡觉去,但是正在等待三人的院长叫住了他,问他都干了什么。

"No, head abbot,”the first monk said,"it’s too evil for me to admit!”“没干什么,院长”,第一个修道士说,“对于我来说那太坏了,我不能说出来!”"'The deal was for you to tell me everything you did,otherwise you willnot receive absolution!” said the abbot.“说好的,你告诉我所有你千的事情,否则不能免你的罪!”院长说。

英语经典幽默笑话12篇

英语经典幽默笑话12篇

英语经典幽默笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典幽默笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语经典幽默笑话:怕老婆的丈夫The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see,”said the king,“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.”“Your Majesty,”came the reply in a squealing voice,“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”古代有一个国王,他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样,受到老婆的管制。

英语幽默故事

英语幽默故事

英语幽默故事Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to play practical jokes on his friends. One day, he decided to play a joke on his best friend, Tom. He went to Tom's house and hid in the closet. When Tom came home, the man jumped out of the closet and yelled, "Boo!" Tom was so startled that he fell over and knocked over a vase. The man couldn't stop laughing at his friend's reaction.Another time, there was a teacher who loved to tell funny stories to her students. One day, she told them about a time when she was in college and decided to play a joke on her roommate. She put a fake spider in her roommate's bed and waited for her to come home. When her roommate saw the spider, she screamed and jumped out of bed. The teacher couldn't stop laughing as she told the story to her students.There was also a young boy who loved to make his family laugh. One day, he decided to put on a funny costume and surprise his parents. When they came home, he jumped out from behind the couch and started dancing around in his costume. His parents couldn't help but laugh at his silly antics.In another funny story, a man went to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup. When the waiter brought the soup to his table, the man noticed that there was a fly floating in it. Instead of getting upset, the man called the waiter over and said, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter looked at the soup and replied, "Don't worry, sir, the fly won't eat much."One day, a group of friends went on a camping trip. As they were sitting around the campfire, one of the friends decided to play a prank on the others. He pretended to see a ghost and started screaming and running around the campsite. The others were so scared that they ran back to their tents and didn't come out until the next morning. When they found out it was just a prank, they couldn't help but laugh at themselves.In conclusion, humor is an important part of life. Whether it's playing practical jokes on friends, telling funny stories, or just being silly, laughter brings joy and happiness toeveryone. So, don't be afraid to let your funny side show and spread some laughter wherever you go. After all, as the saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine."。

英文幽默故事

英文幽默故事

英文幽默故事Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell jokes. He was known far and wide for his wit and humor. One day, he decided to enter a joke-telling competition to prove that he was the funniest person around.The competition was fierce, with many talented joke-tellers vying for the top prize. The man was nervous, but he was determined to give it his all. When his turn came, he stepped onto the stage and began to tell his first joke."Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?" he asked the audience. "He pasta way!"The crowd erupted into laughter, and the man felt a surge of confidence. He continued to tell joke after joke, each one funnier than the last. The audience was in stitches, and the judges were impressed by his quick wit and clever humor.Finally, it was time for the results to be announced. The man held his breath as the judges tallied the scores. When the winner was announced, it was none other than the man himself! He had won the competition and proven that he was indeed the funniest person around.As he accepted his prize, the man couldn't help butfeel proud of himself. He had worked hard to perfect his craft, and it had paid off in the end. From that day on, he was known as the undisputed king of comedy in his town.The moral of the story is that hard work and dedication can lead to great success. The man's determination to be the best joke-teller paid off, and he was able to achieve his goal. This story reminds us that with perseverance and a positive attitude, anything is possible.In conclusion, the man's journey to win the joke-telling competition is a testament to the power of hard work and dedication. His success serves as an inspiration to all those who strive to achieve their dreams. So, let'sremember to always work hard and never give up on our goals, just like the man who became the funniest person in town.。

简短经典的英语笑话带翻译

简短经典的英语笑话带翻译

简短经典的英语笑话带翻译学习英语可以是一个枯燥的过程,也可以是一个有趣的过程。

小编在此献上搞笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有所帮助。

英语幽默小笑话:聪明的翻译A famous writer who was visiting Japan was invited to deliver a lecture at a university to a large number of students. As most of them could not understand English, he had to have an interpreter.一位在日本访问的著名作家受邀到一所大学为众多学生演讲。

因为他们中大多数人不懂英语,作家请了一名口译。

During his lecture he told an amusing story which went on for rather a long time. At last he stopped to allow the interpreter to translate it into Japanese, and was very surprised when the man did this in a few seconds, after which all the students laughed loudly.在演讲中,他用了相当长的时间讲了一个有趣的故事。

最后他停下来让口译把它译成日语。

他感到非常奇怪的是,口译只用了几秒钟就翻译完毕,而学生们都大声笑了起来。

Atter the lecture, the writer thanked the interpreter for his good work and then said to him, "Now please tell me how you translated that long story of mine into such a short Japanese one."演讲之后,作家非常感谢这位口译的出色工作,并说:“请告诉我,你是如何把我那么长的一个故事译成如此简短的日语的?”"I didn't tell the story at all," the interpreter answered with a smile. "I just said, The honourable lecturer has just told a funny story. You will all laugh, please.'"“我根本就没有讲那个故事,”口译微笑着回答,“我只不过说,‘尊敬的演讲者刚才讲了一个很可笑的故事,请你们大家笑一笑。

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My First and My LastWhen George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?""Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.第一次与最后一次乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机,并开始学习驾驶。

不久,他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。

乔治有个朋友名叫马克。

一天,乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。

马克心想,“我乘大客机飞行过好几次,还从来没有乘过小飞机,我不妨试一试。

”升空后,乔治飞了有半个小时,在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。

后来他们着陆了。

马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。

他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说:“乔治,非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。

”乔治非常吃惊地问:“两次飞行?”“是的,我的第一次和最后一次。

”马克答道。

First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."第一次坐飞机约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。

所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受。

不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机。

他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。

约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道:“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?”“那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上。

”A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment hehung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!钉子还是苍蝇?一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。

他双手各拿一瓶酒。

在墙上有只苍蝇,他误以为是枚钉子。

他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地。

一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定帮他个忙。

于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。

这里,老人回到了房里。

倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。

他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌。

听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来。

让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止。

I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

“快点,小姐!”他喊道:“请把门关上。

”“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。

”她回答道。

“请把门关上好了,”列车员说:“其余的事由我负责。

”Chaude and ColdA patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."热与冷蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头,结果被水烫伤了。

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