4 unity coherence of a sentence

Unit 5
Sentence Unity and Coherence
To be clear and correct, a sentence must have both unity and coherence. Unity means oneness. In a unified sentence, every part must be related to one main idea. In a coherent sentence, the parts of that idea must be worded and arranged so they link together, without any gaps or inconsistencies. Failure to observe these two basic principles results in major errors of sentence structure.
First let us discuss unity. Unity refers to two qualities: there is only one main idea in a sentence, and that idea is complete. It does not mean that all sentences have to be short and simple. It is often necessary to write a long sentence with many parts in it. Such a sentence expresses a central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, or two or more related parallel ideas. In other words, ideas that are closely connected can be expressed in one sentence, while ideas that are not closely connected should not be put into one sentence.
Sample 1
The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy writing reports on his adventures on that ice-covered continent, where he did not see any animals except penguins.
This is a long sentence with many parts, including two clauses. It has one central idea (the explorer is writing reports on his adventures in the Antarctic) and all the other ideas are related to this central idea.
Here is a short sentence:
Born in Sichuan Province, he later became a famous writer.
This is a correct but not a well-written sentence, because the two facts mentioned in it are not logically connected: a man born in Sichuan is not certain to become a famous writer. We can say that the sentence lacks unity. To make the meaning clear, we have to say something about his education and work experience that helped to make him a famous writer, for example:
Born in Chengdu, he majored in Chinese literature at Sichuan University and later became a famous writer.
Sample 2
He visited all the famous historical monuments of this ancient city, and he also found out that the people of the city had to pay heavy taxes.
Like the preceding sentence, this one contains two facts that have nothing to do with each other. They should have been stated in two separate sentences with some additional words to link them up:
He visited the famous historical monuments of the ancient city during the day. In the evening, he called on his old friends and was told that the people of the city had to heavy taxes.
The meaning or idea of a sentence should be complete. The following sentences may seem to be correct but their meanings are not complete:
I think the red jacket is a better one.
Dream of the Red Mansions(《红楼梦》) is the best-known novel.
Revised:
I think the red jacket is better than the black one.
Dream of the Red Mansions is one of the best-known classical novels. Of all the Chinese novels written before the 20th century, Dream of the Red Mansions is perhaps the most popular.
Task 1 Improve the following sentences that lack unity.
(1) Professor Wang always has interesting ideas, and I missed his lecture last Tuesday.
(2) Bob gave his sister some yellow roses, and she performed at the concert.
(3) He was so tired and all his friends went out of his room.
(4) I was always early; he felt very surprised that afternoon.
(5) Beijing has a lot of beautiful scenic spots, but most outsiders have to travel long distances.
(6) The Sahara （撒哈拉）is a larger desert.
(7) Ba Jin's （巴金）style is different.
(8) This is a better essay.
Coherence means clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence. Since the meaning of English sentences mainly depends on word order, the arrangement of the parts of a sentence is especially important to accurate expression of ideas. A coherent sentence is easy to understand and its meaning cannot be mistaken, because the connection between its words conforms to grammar rules and usage. An incoherent sentence is often hard to understand and may be interpreted in different ways. Many of the sentences given in the first section of this chapter are considered wrong because they are incoherent. Here are a few rules of thumb that may help to prevent incoherence:
1. Do not separate words that are closely related unless it is necessary;
2. Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;
3. Do not use a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifies;
4. Do not make unnecessary or confusing shifts in person or number;
5. Do not make unnecessary changes in the voice, tense or mood of verbs; and
6. Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas.
Examples below illustrate these rules.
Sample 1
Everyone is studying English in this school.
This sentence may imply that the school mentioned is the only place where people can study English. Perhaps the speaker means that everyone in this school is studying English. So in this school is an attribute modifying the subject instead of an adverbial modifying the verb. The phrase should have been placed immediately after the subject. Its position determines its function.
Sample 2
Mrs. Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing.
We do not know who had done the right thing, Mrs. Green or her sister, and the ambiguity comes from the pronoun she. The meaning would have been clear if the following sentences had been used:
Mrs. Green said to her sister, "You have done the right thing." Mrs. Green said to her sister, " I have done the right thing."
Mrs. Green thought that her sister had done the right thing and said so to her.
Mrs. Green said to her sister that she herself had done the right thing.
Here are two sentences with dangling modifiers:
Sample 3
Looking out of the window, only dull gray buildings can be seen.
After studying Lesson Ten, the mid-term test was given to us.
A participial phrase expresses an action done by the person or thing denoted by the noun it modifies. In the first sentence looking should be the action of the subject (buildings), but buildings cannot look, so the participial phrase is a dangling modifier. A gerund also expresses an action of the person or thing denoted by the word to which it is related. In the second sentence studying is related to test, but a test cannot study, so the phrase After studying... is also a dangling modifier. One way of revising the two sentences is:
Looking out of the window, I (or any other person) can see only dull gray buildings.
After studying Lesson Ten, we had the mid-term test.
A modifier should be placed as close as possible to the word it modifies. If they are far from each other, misunderstanding may arise.
Sample 4
The funny cartoon attracts the reader's eye on the cover of the magazine.
The weaknesses of the sentence is obvious, and it can be easily corrected:
The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye.
In the following sentences there are confusing shifts in person and number:
Sample 5
Those who want to join the chorus should sign your name on this sheet of paper. (Your name should be changed to their names.)
He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries, and it is very helpful. (It is should be changed to they are.)
Similarly, we should also be careful when we make changes in tense, voice and mood:
Sample 6
The explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured.
A lot of higher houses were built around hers in the past few years and she gets no more sunlight.
Although the two sentences are correct, the changes in voice and tense make them jerky. It would be better to put the two verbs in the same voice and tense:
The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of people; or In the explosion the building was destroyed and a number of people were injured.
A lot of higher buildings have been built around hers in recent years and as a result she gets no more sunlight; or
A lot of higher buildings were built around hers and as a result she got no more sunlight.
Whether the present or the past tense should be chosen for the second sentence depends on the time to be emphasized.
Wherever possible, parallel ideas should be expressed in parallel constructions, which give the reader the feeling that the ideas are equally important. The following are a few sentences that can be improved:
Sample 7
It is generally believed that one's action is more important than what one says.
The young man is honest and hardworking, and is a very reliable worker. This composition is quite good as far as the use of language is concerned, but its content is poor.
Now let us try to express the parallel ideas in these sentences in parallel constructions:
It is generally believed that one's action is more important than one's words.
The young man is an honest, hardworking and reliable worker; or
The young worker is honest, hardworking and reliable.
This composition is good in language but poor in content; or
The language of this composition is quite good but its content is rather poor.
In short, coherence is essential to the accurate and clear expression of ideas. So it is a good habit to reread the sentences you have written
to see whether they are coherent, and make necessary changes if they are not.
Task 2 Make the following sentences coherent:
(1) All of them are studying economics at that institute.
(2) My mother told Mary that she should not have done such a thing.
(3) After walking for two hours, it started to rain.
(4) The beautiful lilies caught their attention in the field.
(5) My father likes to swim, to read and going boating.。