Ten Things to Destroy Quality Culture

Ten Things Every Top Manager Should Do to Destroy The Quality Culture

Rob Nix - 2/25/04

My first experience with the word “culture” comes from my high school science class. We were to grow a living organism on a nutrient base. The science teacher called it a culture. The girls in class described it using the medical term: “eeewwwww.” Years later in the business world I find top managers, subjected to the pressure to incorporate a quality culture into their business, responding in the executive term: “eeewwwww.” Like the old cereal commercial, they are told it is “supposed to be good for you”, which means it doesn’t taste very good.

But everybody’s talking about “quality” disciplines. Six Sigma & Zero Defects (NOTE: the only difference between the two is about 3 and a half defects), ISO-9000, Malcolm Baldrige, and so on. What a bunch of hype. Yet our customers tell us we need it; consultants tell us we need it; 9 out of 10 doctors tell us we need it. “Yeah, well, smart people and their pomp and flourish have never run a business like mine”! Yes, top execs know how to run their business. But they also realize they have to indulge and pacify those fools advocating “quality”. So they do the first of ten things to effectively neutralize the virulent quality culture, they hire a Quality Manager. For all of you future business executives, all ten of the things to follow should be implemented to ensure the death of the quality organism eating away at your “bottom line”. It is already being done successfully in many businesses throughout the world.

1.Hire a Quality Manager, then stand behind him - way behind him. In fact, don’t give anyone the impression you even know the Quality Manager, let alone give support to his quality initiatives. There are two benefits to this approach: 1) It is the QM’s job, not yours, to ensure quality. That’s why you hired him, and 2) Look, for example, at the circus trapeze people. They become much more professional and conscientious when they work without a safety net. Take away support from the Quality Manager and it builds character! Sure, organizations like the Australian Continuous Improvement Group write that“Senior management support must be active, visible and constant”, but they’re just being silly.

2.Next, assign the Quality Manager the task of becoming certified to an international quality standard, but remember: do not support it - just insist that it get done. Yes, insist on getting certified, but make it clear it is only for the sake of getting a certificate, not changing the busi ness “paradigms” (that’s 20¢ for you middle managers). Every top manager knows that to be efficient you must provide only the minimum required by the customer. They generally just want to see a certificate on the wall; they may even ask for a faxed copy once a year. Give it to them.

3.Establish policies, but be the first to violate every policy you establish. This is a great way to show everyone who’s boss. The implication should be, “I can do it, but you cannot”. For example, establish safety policies throug hout the building that ensure coverage from the top of the hard hat to the bottom of their steel toed shoes. Then walk around the plant in Bermuda shorts and open toed sandals. Or, send a mandate to all personnel regarding “on time” meeting attendance, no exceptions! Then walk in 20