creative dating

Appendix – Creative Dating 附录—有想象力的约会

Ground Rules 基本原则

1. Think through your expectations for a date. 思考一下你对约会的期望。

∙Are you looking to find out if this person is someone you would consider being romantic with? 你希望知道这个人是否是你想开始浪漫关系的人吗？

∙Are you already romantically interested? Do you want to find out if you should deepen the relationship toward marriage? 你是否已经产生浪漫的兴趣？你希望知道是否应该加深关系进入婚姻吗？

∙Do you want to just have fun with no commitment? 你是不是只想享受乐趣不想有承诺？

2. What kind of behavior is acceptable? 什么样的行为可以接受？

∙Do you want to avoid physical contact?你想避免肢体接触吗？

∙Is hand holding okay?What about petting or heavy kissing?What about sex?牵手可以吗？爱抚或深吻呢？性关系呢？

∙How far is too far? 多远是太远？

∙It is important to decide this ahead of time or you are likely to find yourself in a sit uation that you don’t want to be in. 先决定这点非常重要，不然你很可能发现自

己处于不希望的尴尬境地。

∙Think this through and know exactly where your limit is. 先考虑这点，确切知道你的界限是什么。

∙Let your date know your limits. That will let him or her know what to expect. 让你的约会对象知道你的限制。这会让他或她知道可以期待什么。

∙Be prepared for unexpected situations and learn how to say “no” with confidence and conviction. 准备应对出乎意料的情况，学会带着信心和确信说“不”。

∙Have a friend help keep you accountable not to go past your limit by asking you about how things are going in that area and encouraging you to stick to your

conviction. 让一个朋友帮助监督你不越界，问你在那个方面做得怎么样，同时鼓励你坚持自己的信念。

Plan Your Date 计划约会

Have a plan of where you are going, what you are doing, and when you’ll be home. No plan means more likelihood of finding yourself in a tempting situation where it is hard to maintain your limits or hard to leave. Many young people turn to sex for lack of anything better to do. Definitely avoid being in a home alone as it is often too much of a temptation to resist. 计划你们去哪儿，做什么，何时回家。没有计划就意味着很有可能你会发现自己处于诱惑的环境，很难维持你的界限或很难离开。很多年轻人开始性关系是因为找不到更好的事情做。一定要避免独自在家，因为经常有太多的诱惑需要抗拒。

Ideas for Creative Dates 有想象力的约会的一些想法

Sports Date: 运动约会：

Tennis, soccer match, basketball game, swimming, pool, bicycling, jogging, badminton, running 网球、足球赛、篮球赛、游泳、自行车、慢跑、羽毛球、跑步Advantages: fun, healthy, others can participate with you 优点：有趣、健康，其他人可以参与

Disadvantages: Your date may not be interested in sports; self-confidence could be undermined if your partner defeats you; one of you may be overly competitive which is no fun for anyone. 缺点：你约会的对象可能对运动不感兴趣；如果对方打败你自信会受损；一方太有竞争心对所有人都不好玩儿。

Low Cost Date: 低成本约会：

Read to each other, eat ice cream, go out for a coke and a chat, take a walk, play video games, put together a puzzle, play instruments together, make popcorn and talk, sing together 互相读书、吃冰淇淋、出去喝可乐聊天、散步、玩儿电子游戏、拼图游戏、一起玩儿乐器、吃爆米花聊天、一起唱歌

Arts Date: 艺术约会：

Attend an opera, ballet, musical, museum, art exhibit, concerts, theater or movie showing. 去歌剧、芭蕾、音乐剧、博物馆、艺术展、音乐会、剧院或者电影院。

Serving Date: 服务约会：

Visit orphanages, sick people, hospitals, or homes for the handicapped and encourage those who are there; help elderly people, new moms, or sick people you know by doing their grocery shopping for the week, helping with their housework, doing odd jobs around their home, gardening, or taking out their trash. 去孤儿院、看望病人、医院或者残疾人的家，鼓励那里的人；帮助老人、新妈妈，或者你认识的病人，帮助他们买一周的杂货，做家务，在房子或花园里做些零工，或者倒垃圾。

Food Date: 吃饭约会：

Have a meal with your friends where everyone brings something, cook a meal together, cook for each other, make a cake together for someone else, have a picnic, go to a special restaurant. 与朋友一起吃饭，每个人带些东西，一起做一顿饭，为彼此做饭，一起为某人做个蛋糕，野餐，或者去特殊的饭店。

What do I do first? 我要先做什么？

Now that you have someone you are interested in and options of things to do here are some practical ideas to help you decide what to do. 现在你已经有感兴趣的人，也有可以选择的事情，这里是一些具体的想法帮助你决定做什么。

1. Choose an activity that you and the other person like. If you want another date this is

very important! 选择你和对方都喜欢的事情。如果你还想有下次约会，这是很重要的！

2. Decide how much time you can spend on the date. This will narrow your choice.

Remember the best dates don’t always cost the most so spend your money wisely. 确定你在约会上能花多少时间。这可能会局限你的选择。记住最好的约会不总是花钱最多的，所以有智慧地花钱。

3. Plan the date so that you can spend as much time as possible in talking to each other.

Conversation promotes growth of the relationship, which is one of the purposes of