伍迪艾伦经典搞笑名言

伍迪艾伦经典搞笑名言
2017-05-02以下是天才伍迪艾伦的25句中英搞笑名言..希望大家喜
欢!..woodyallenquotes1.harvardmakesmistakestoo,youknow.kissingertaug htthere.2.hewassodepressed,hetriedtocommitsuicidebyinhalingnexttoanar menian.3.asthepoetsaid,‘onlygodcanmakeatree,’probablybecauseit’ssohar dtofigureouthowtogetthebarkon.4.iamthankfulforlaughter,exceptwhenmil kcomesoutofmynose.5.iamnotafraidofdeath,ijustdon’twanttobetherewhen ithappens.6.ibelievethereissomethingouttherewatchingus.unfortunately,it’sthegovernment.7.idon’thaveto‘freedom-
kiss’mywifewhenwhatireallywanttodoisfrench-
kissher.8.idon’twant toachieveimmortalitythroughmywork.iwanttoachieveit throughnotdying.9.ihavebadreflexes.iwasoncerunoverbyacarbeingpushedb ytwoguys.10.itookaspeed-readingcourseandreadwarandpeaceintwentyminutes.itinvolvesrussia11.iw asnauseousandtinglyallover.iwaseitherinloveori hadsmallpox.12.i’dcallhima sadistic,hippophilicnecrophile,butthatwouldbebeatingadeadhorse.13.i’mas toundedbypeoplewhowantto‘know’theuniversewhenit’shardenoughtofind yourwayaroundchinatown.14.i’msuchagoodloverbecauseipracticealotonm yown.15.i’mveryproudofmygold pocketwatch.mygrandfather,onhisdeathbe d,soldmethiswatch.16.ifmyfilmsmakeonemorepersonmiserable,i’llfeelihav
edonemyjob.17.inbeverlyhills…theydon’tthrowtheirgarbageaway.theymak eitintotelevisionshows.18.lifeisfullofmisery,loneliness,andsuffering-andit’sallovermuchtoosoon.19.mostofthetimeidon’thavemuchfun.theresto fthetimeidon’thaveanyfunatall.20.myoneregretinlifeisthatiamnotsomeone else.21.someguyhitmyfender,anditoldhim,‘befruitfulandmultiply,’butnotint hosewords.22.thereareworsethingsinlifethandeath.haveyoueverspentanev eningwithaninsurancesalesman?23.whatifeverythingisanillusionandnothin gexists?inthatcase,idefinitelyoverpaidformycarpet.24.wheniwaskidnapped, myparentssnappedintoaction.theyrentedoutmyroom.25.youcanlivetobeah undredifyougiveupallthethingsthatmakeyouwanttolivetobeahundred.1、哈佛也会犯错，因为基辛格在那儿教过书。

2、他太绝望了，为了自杀他居然要在一个美国人身边呼吸。

3、就像诗人说的：唯上帝之万能，得以创造树木”，可能是因为实在很难想出来怎么给树穿上树皮。

4、我感谢大笑，除了牛奶从我鼻子里喷出来的时候。

5、我不怕死，只是我不想在它发生的时候呆在那儿。

6、我相信在某个不为人知的地方，有个东西盯着我们。

不幸的是，是政府。

7、我不必在想舌吻老婆的时候，来个自由之吻”（似乎是：反对法国因此把所有french改成freedom）。