成长的烦恼第七季8
成长的烦恼第七季15
Abe: Hey, the seniors guys day out was one great idea.Ben: Yeah, it was four guys, out on the town.Mike: Eating anything we want...Jason: Walking past discount jewelers without missing a beat...Ben: Hey, you guys remember last month, when mom and Carol came to that Bulls game?Mike: Oh yeah, remember what she said? It's just not fair because some of the guys were so much taller than the others.Jason: Guys...Ben and Mike: What?Jason: Something is wrong; our train is leaving on time.Barney: Any of you fellas care to chase your luck? A dollar will get you two.Jason: No thank you.Barney: Hey all you got to do is find the queen.Abe: Barney?Barney: Abe Hey man, I have been worried sick about you.Where have you been?Abe: Oh I'm fine, I've been living with the family in the suburbs.Barney: Oh that's great.Have they found out yet?Jason: Excuse me, I'm Jason Seaver.Barney: Oh, Barney Papadakis.Boy you clean up good. You're gone!!Abe: You look good too Barney'Barney: Yeah well, it's this new exercise program. Every time I see a transit cop I run a quarter of a mile. Speaking of which.Mr. Anderson.love the outfit! Blue is your color.Mr. Anderson: You wouldn't be running any illegal gambling here now would you?Barney: No, you see actually I was playing 52 card pick up.Mr. Anderson: With three cards?Barney: I'm not very good.Mr. Anderson: Beat it Barney.Barney: Gotcha...Well so long fellows. I got enough quarters to go to the bus station to walk the whole mily dud. Nice seeing ya Abe.Abe: See ya Barney.Jason: So, you know this guy hm?Abe: Everybody on this street knows Barney. If you need a place to sleep and some food, Barney is the guy to see.Jason: and if he's good, I guess he can do all right running a cards scam.Abe: It's not a scam. Barney is New York's only 3 card Monty player. He's got faster hands than warren batty. Ben: Why does he call you Abe?Abe: Well, it's because my birthday's the same as Lincoln's.Mike: Your birthday is December 25th?Jason: February 12th.Abe: Right.Mike: Wait a minute. your birthday is next week? And you didn't tell us about it?Ben: What are you nuts? How do you expect to get any good presents?Abe: Hey I don't need any presents.Ben: Oh Luke.... He's Just kidding now...Actually he wants a leather jacket in my size.Abe: How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want you guys throwing me a party.Mike: Luke I'm just talking about some potato chips and a balloon or two.Chrissy: I have a great idea!!Mike: What?Chrissy: Go to Chucky cheese.Ben: Yeah right. Luke really wants to spend his 16th birthday throwing pepperoni at six foot mechanical mice. Chrissy: Now that's a party!Ben: The secret to a great party is who isn't there when you have it.Abe: Hu?Ben: You know, a more private gathering.Abe: You mean just you and me?Maggie: What Ben is trying to say is that you should wait until Jason and I are out and have a wild party here in the house.Ben: Or we could do that.Jason: Forget it.Ben: Hey it was mom's idea.Abe: Ok,ok,ok, I give up. You can throw me a party.Mike: All rightAbe: But please, don't make it a big deal, all right?Mike: How can we? Mom and dad insist on being there.Ben: Look, the party is going to be a dud. But we can still make out like a bandit on the gifts.Abe: But I don't want any gifts.Ben: would you quit thinking of yourself?Maggie: Ok Chrissy, time for .... C hrissy ..... were you playing in my jewelry box again after I toldyou not to?Chrissy: Why would you think that?Maggie: Because Mr. Blowhole is wearing my good pearl earrings.Chrissy: Bad whale!! Bad whaleMike: You know guys, I'm going to make this the best birthday party ever. I've got an idea. This idea is so great, it even scares me.Jason: Last time he said that, I lost my eyebrows.Maggie: Hi Dwight.Dwight: Here's the keys to the wagon.Maggie: Did carol's plane get off safely?Dwight: Unfortunately yes. Don't get me wrong.I'm glad she's alive and all but what the heck am I going to do for a month while she's away doing research at the British museum?Jason: Oh don't take it so hard Dwight, she's going to be back before you know it. Which reminds me, her plane left 6 hours ago.Where have you been?Dwight: Well I stood there and I watched the vapor trail from her plane evaporate.Maggie: For 6 hour?Dwight: No, for five minutes. And then I did what any red blooded American man would do.Jason: Dwight have you been drinking?Dwight: Well, I'd be a liar if I didn't confess. I went down and I knocked back a few yuhus at the bleaker's street cinema.Maggie: You went to the movies?Dwight: And I saw the avant-garde film festival winner, death of an avocado.Jason: Let me just guess here, but the ending had something to do with guacamole?Dwight: We see this blue lawn chair. Then this old man comes, and he sits down on it and he plays the xylophone, and then he dies.Maggie: That's it?Dwight: It's a statement about mans tautological search for metaphysical comfort.Maggie: Where's the avocado?Dwight: There is no avocado. Well, that would be a little bit obvious don't you think?Maggie: My little pony? Is this the banner Luke wanted us to get?Chrissy: It's Luke's favorite.Maggie: Are you sure?Chrissy: It's someone's favorite.Jason: Hey…you know I don't know why more people don't shop down at Morts party warehouse. They have some great deals down there...Look at this.Maggie: What's that supposed to be?Jason: It's pin the tail on the hamster. I got it for free with the purchase of 20 party hats.Maggie: Jason, this is Greek. Does it say happy birthday?Jason: Well the salesman wasn't sure. It's either that or Dukakis in 88.Maggie: Oh honey I'm sorry to insinuate that you were cheap.Jason: All right apology accepted. No where's Ben? He was supposed to help me find last years candles. Maggie: Oh he and Dwight went to get more ice cream.Jason: Dwight 's here again?Maggie: Well honey he misses Carol and he's lonely.Jason: Yeah but it seems the last couple of days every time I turn around I there's Dwight.Maggie: Jason, you are exaggerating.Jason: Last night he was reading the newspaper over my shoulder, in the bathroom.Maggie: Leave him alone.besides he and Ben are really starting to get along.Dwight: So you see the lawn chair symbolizes the anthropological conundrum that is this very existence. Ben: That's great Dwight. I never thought I'd hear my self say these words, but get Carol back now. Dwight: Dr. Seaver I got lickerish pineapple crunch ice cream if that's not too much of a cliche. Jason: Well maybe we can find something exotic to put on top.Dwight: Oh, I'm way ahead of you. Creamed cornMike: Luke get down here. Everybody else, come here, quick.Dwight: Whoa, you got cream corn, you got a party.Mike: Luke, you ready for your birthday present?Chrissy: Mommy, daddy, Barney showed me how to do a card trick.Maggie: Oh great, sweetie.let's see.Chrissy: Find the queen, where's she hiding? feeling lucky today, buddy?Barney: Come on kid, maybe we should talk to them a little later...Abe: No come on Barney, show them how you do it.Barney: Nooo...Chrissy: He's a lot better than I am.Maggie, Jason: Oh come on Barney let's see...Barney: Well, ok. Find the queen, where's she hiding? Tower eleven, Buckingham palace, motel 6?Ben: No offense Barney but you got to get up pretty early in the morning to fool Ben Seav How did you do that?Barney: Well, ill tell ya.this is a lot better than your last birthday uh Abe?Maggie: Why what happened?Abe: Oh, Barney and some of the guys snuck me into the zoo after-hours. Boy, did we eat well that night! Jason: What did you eat?Abe: Hot dogs. The dumpster was full of them. No matter what, you always helped us out. He can always get us a place to sleep and some food.Barney: It's a gift.Jason: It sounds like Luke was pretty lucky to have you looking out for him.Barney: Yeah, well.you are gom a have to excuse me; I have to answer natures call.Mom: Oh, Barney, why don't you go upstairs, second door on the right.Barney: Force of habit.Mike: So everybody, what do you say we play some games?Everybody: Yeah all right.Dwight: Oh I have a great one.Ben: What? Spin the duffus?Dwight: Maybe later. This is called semantics. Someone names a word, and then we all try to give it subtle shades of meaning.Jason: Stay back ladies. Carol saw him first. That' sounds like the kind of game that usually ends a party. Dwight: I've noticed that.Jason: Maybe we can build up to that, but now how about a rousing game of pin the tail on the hamster. Maggie: Where's the camera? I want to get a picture of this.Jason: Upstairs, our closet.Abe: Oh I'll get it.Dwight: Uhm, I just have one question about this hamster thing. How do we hold the little guy down?Abe: What were you doing?Barney: Uh, just seeing how the other half lives. You know this statue thing pulls this whole room together? Abe: What were you doing in Mrs. Seaver's jewelry box? Barney we're you going to take something? Barney: Abe, how could you say something like that? I was on my way to the bathroom and the door was opened. I know I shouldn't have come in here but.. ..I saw the jewelry box on the dres ser.I used to look through my moms all the time. Hers had this little dancing ballerina in it. And I just wanted to see if this one had one too.Abe: Barney I'm sorry. Yeah, you know I shouldn't have jumped to a conclusion like that. Hey, you forgive me? Barney: Yeah sure.. .come on let's go back down stairs. By the way, what's with the Dukakis hats? Mike: You're warm. Really really warm.Maggie: Dwight, Dwight...Dwight: In here Mrs. Seaver...Maggie: No no no.Dwight: I can't leave now, I'm winning.Mike: Luke what do you say we open up the presents huh?Dwight: This one is from me and Carol.Abe: The complete works of Schopenhauer.Dwight: I knew it.you already read it.Abe: Even not in its original German.Ben: All right, now mine.Abe: Mega slime, hammer and sickle, the nurses?Ben: Yeah, it's got their hit single, "turn your head and cough"Abe: Can I borrow your walkman sometime?Ben: Sure.Abe: All right.Jason: Hey, you wanna open ours next.Abe: Hey my own walkman.thanks.Jason: Happy birthday.Maggie: Uh.Jason: Hey are those the pearls I gave you for our anniversary?Mom: No honey they are the real ones. Someone broke them and glued them back together with rubber cement. Chrissy: Uh, open mine next.Maggie: I'll be right back.Chrissy: It's the whole fam ily.that's you.Abe: thanks, this is the best present I have ever gotten.Chrissy: will you put it on your wall?Abe: I'll do it right now, ill even move my Christina apple gate poster.Chrissy: I made it off the refrigerator. Finally the big time.Abe: Is something wrong Mrs. Seaver?Mom: Oh no Luke, I'm just looking for an old ring my grandmother gave me, its usually right in here. The box was open; Chrissy must have been playing with my jewelry again. Luke, Barney wasn't in here at all was he? Abe: Barney?Maggie: Oh my god, what a horrible thing to say, I'm sorry. I mean I know just because he's homeless doesn't mean he would steal.Abe: That's ok Mrs. Seaver.Mom: No it isn't and I'm very sorry. I mean Carol loves that ring. I bet she borrowed it to take it to England, how silly of me. Come on birthday boy. Let's go back down stairs.Abe: I'll be down in just a second, I'm just gonna hang this up.Mom: Ok.Mike: You got three words, third word is.. ..uuuhh.. .sounds like.. ..Big!Ben: Hugh!Chrissy: Hair.Dwight: Big huge hair, a dolly parton movie.Ben: If it was a dolly parton movie it be big huge.Jason: Ben!Ben: Ok, ok, sounds like hair..Dwight: Oh hair stair, old contrair, smoking hair.. ..Sunny in chairChrissy: Time!Jason: Already? It was truth or dare. And you wait until it's your turn Dwight.Ben: All right, my turn.Mike: Planet of the apes. Sorry, just popped out.Jason: Moving.Mike: You are stealing, you are a robber.Jason: A layer.Abe: Thief. To catch a thief.Everybody: All right!Abe: Hey Barney it's getting a little chilly in here, want to help me go start a fire?Barney: Sure, where do you keep the trash can?Chrissy: My turn.Ben and Mike: No no.Mom: No, come on, it's only fair that Chrissy gets her turn.Ben: Come on she always reads them wrong. Last time we spent half an hour truing to figure out the sound of mustard.Barney: Boy, you could cook a lot of potatoes with that.Abe: I want the ring you took out of Mrs. Seaver's jewelry box.Barney: Not that again, I told you I was just looking around.Abe: I want the ring.Barney: No.Abe: I don't believe this, how could you just steal something like that?Barney: Well, it's to feed my addiction. I'm going through a food withdrawal.Abe: But how could you do it to the people who were nice enough to take me in? Hey you don't need that ring; you do fine playing 3 card Monty.Barney: Hey come on, there probably wondering where we are.we could have chopped the whole tree down by now, let's go.Abe: Don't make me call the cops.Barney: I don't believe you. You stand there in those designer clothes, and now you tell me it's wrong to steal? What do you think is going to happen to you when you turn 18? They got four kids. Think they are going to get you a car? Think that they are going to send you to college? Two years from now, you are going to be back out on the street. Your not one of them, you're one of us. You know it, and I know it. And that's why your not going to call the cops, are you?Abe: No.Barney: Abe, come on, I don't like to see you like this. I'll tell you what were going to do. We will play 3 card Monty for the ring. And maybe you can win it back from me fair and square.Abe: What's fair about that? You always win.Barney: I'll up the odds. I'll give you three tries. Find the queen just once, you get the ring.Abe: And if I don't?Barney: I get to eat regular for a few months.Abe: No, I can't gamble with you for Mrs. Seaver's ring.Everybody: Uh, big nose...big nose, bob hope, Barbara Streisand...Mike: Pinocchio. Yeah, I got it.Jason: Wait a minute, this says dangerous liaison.Chrissy: I like Pinocchio better.Barney: Well folks, I hate to eat and run but I got to get back into town.Abe: Hey Barney, I thought we were going to play a little three card Monty.Barney: You wanna play?Abe: I said so.Barney: Well, all right.Maggie: Oh good.Ben: Oh no offense, but my money is on Barney.Jason: Me too.Barney: Ok, once upon a time there was a sleeping beauty, and a handsome prince had to open the right door, to wake her with a kiss. Sorry, wrong door. Find the queen, where's she hiding, upstairs downstairs, in my lady's chamber? Tough luck kid, try again.Mike: Face it Luke, you said it yourself, nobody can beat this guy.Abe: I choose this one, because if this is the two, and this is the seven, then this must be the queen. Everybody: Hey, all right, yeah.Maggie: So if everybody is finished playing games, in the kitchen. Everyone except Luke.Jason: I'll get the forks.Mike and Ben: Right.Dwight: I'll get the plates and the cream corn.Barney: You knew the whole time?Abe: Actually I really thought you were the worlds only honest three card Monty player.Barney: Yep, here's your ring. Hey look, kid it's part of life on the street. See there comes a time when you have to put your priorities at work.Abe: That still doesn't change the fact that this kind of stuff is wrong. Hey, why don't you get a job, you know? Start over.Barney: That's easy for you to say, I don't exactly have the look the employment agencies want.Abe: Here.Barney: What's this for?Abe: Something to remember me by.Barney: Hmm, this should impress the guys. Mind if I...Abe: Go ahead and pawn it. It should get you a few weeks downtown and some food. Hey, and some clothes for job interviews.Barney: Thanks Abe. Take care of yourself, happy birthday.Everybody: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Luke, happy birthday to you.Jason: Did Barney leave already?Abe: Yeah he just left.Maggie: Well come on birthday boy, blow out your candles.Abe: Oh no thanks, I'm not really that hungry.Jason: Something wrong?Abe: No.Dwight: Oh, I know what it is. I always get depressed after parties, the balloons start to deflate, the guests all leave, water picks all get put away・・・Excuse me; I have something in my eye.Maggie: Oh come on its not over yet, Luke you haven't even finished opening your presents.Abe: Yes I have.Jason: Not this one.Abe: Well, what is it?Jason: That's a savings bond, for college.Abe: You guys don't have to do this for me.Jason: Well we didn't do it because we have to Luke, we did it because you are part of this family. Maggie: Happy birthday.Everybody: Happy birthday Luke.。
《成长的烦恼》(八)
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了父 母 的 谈 话 ， 他 们
成长的烦恼--美国大型情景喜剧片（共7季166集）
成长的烦恼--美国大型情景喜剧片（共7季166集）影片主演：杰森·西佛艾伦·锡克迈克·西佛柯克·卡梅隆发行年份：1990年【片名】Growing Pains/成长的烦恼【地区】美国【语言】国语【类型】情景喜剧【播出】1985/09/24～1992/04/25【集数】7季共166集(每集约28分钟)主要演员◎杰森·西佛(Jason Seaver)～艾伦·锡克(Alan Thicke) 饰父亲，心理医生，对家人感情很好，对子女用启发式的教育。
◎麦琪·梅龙(Maggie Malone)～乔安娜·科恩斯(Joanna Kerns) 饰母亲，一位电视台记者，与丈夫杰森结婚后不随丈夫姓，仍用家姓梅龙。
◎迈克·西佛(Mike Seaver)～柯克·卡梅隆(Kirk Cameron) 饰长子，对未来怀有梦想，却经常把事情搞砸，对读书不在行。
◎卡罗尔·西佛(Carol Seaver)～特蕾茜·格尔德(Tracey Gold) 饰长女，读书很好，却经常出现冒傻气的想法，有点书呆子气。
◎本恩·西佛(Ben Seaver)～杰瑞米·米勒(Jeremy Miller) 饰次子，稚嫩却古灵精怪。
◎克瑞斯·西佛(Chrissy Seaver)～阿什丽·约翰逊(Ashley Johnson) 饰幼女，机灵可爱。
◎卢克·鲍尔(Luke Bower)～莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥(Leonardo DiCaprio) 饰养子，受到西佛一家人如亲人般的照顾。
主要内容本剧主要讲述住在纽约长岛的西佛一家(The Seavers)的日常生活故事，是中国大陆较早引进的国外情景喜剧，在中国从1990年一直播出至1994年。
1990年代初期一经播出就引发了收视高潮，片中迈克开朗调皮的形象为广大观众所喜爱。
成长的烦恼6季剧本(中英对照)a008
608万圣节(下)上次在成长的烦恼中…爸爸我们每次都吃糖果消磨时间。
我想有了雨，这才像一个古老的清教徒的节日。
他们做什么？他们讲恐怖故事。
如果是关于愚蠢的约会告诉他我不在家。
喂！告诉他我和一个很迷人的帅哥出去了。
是Eddie，Mike该半个小时前接他去的结果现在还没到。
雨小了。
把门关上，Chrissy，你哪也别去。
该死，真掉了。
来吧，把门关上，把灯打开，再讲一些恐怖的故事。
我的脸还没化好妆。
对，也许到明年奥运会，你就会化好妆了。
好了，谁接下去说，Carol。
我不说什么故事，我在等那个傻瓜。
看来她请谁来帮忙了，Ben。
Carol，你快点讲个故事，快点。
不，Ben，我是说你来讲一个。
好吧，从前有个万圣节，人们穿湿衬衫比赛。
Ben，万圣节的故事要恐怖。
好吧，恐怖。
有一个万圣节，我放学回到家里，妈妈爸爸，儿子回来了，是Ben。
算了，我回我的房间复习功课去了，非常奇怪，没人招呼我，没人摸我的头发，忽然我听到有声音，声音很奇怪，从来没听到过。
怎么了，我又怎么了。
Ben，我要听恐怖故事，真正的恐怖。
好，这下我明白了。
我听南瓜的故事，Ben。
谢谢你，Chrissy，可是这个故事很好听，这故事说明我为什么不再去要礼物了，过万圣节，我跟别的孩子差不多，你知道有好孩子，也有坏孩子，我在附近转悠过几次，我是说我也去要过糖果，当时还没号召少吃糖，我要了那么多年，有家人家我从来没去过，大家都说别去伯威克的家，谁也没有看过他，可大家都听到传说，你一走进去就出不来了，朗威特一家就在那失踪了，一家十口人，各个都无影无踪，我必须弄清楚，即便这是我一生最后的事。
我不弄出声音，我可以奔跑，我可以吓个半死，可是我决心勇敢地面对他，我非常奇怪，我的心嘣嘣直跳，可我心里非常平静，我想这是因为那种气味，这气味我在哪闻到过，那很温暖，诱人，带点奶酪香，还带点酒味，耐心听完结尾。
Carol，你有故事要讲吗？我不想讲什么愚蠢的万圣节故事。
不一定讲万圣节，只要恐怖就行。
成长的烦恼第一部105superdad
Maggie: Carol, Carol. Jason: I'm here mum. *** Maggie: Hi sweetheart where's Carol? I got a message she wants to talk to me Jason: she's over the %someone's name%'s Maggie: Ah! Jason: How was your day? Maggie: Oh another last minute rewrite I never type so fast in my life my fingers are still ***ing Jason: oh don't be wasting those *** fingers and try to *** below the shoulder *** Maggie: Oh Jason. Jason: Perfect thank you Maggie: So what did carol want to talk about. Jim said she sounds very upset Jason: yes well it seems she has reasons to believe that Kevin thought that she looks like a gummy bear. Maggie: Kevin? The one in the german club? Jason: My dear the *** of the German club Maggie: oh no. she's had a crush2 on him since… Jason: Yeah since the October %a name% party Maggie: wow, kids must be ***, eh I'll talk to her when she get home Jason: But she's fine now Maggie: she is? Jason: Yeah we've talked it over *** Maggie: You did? Jason: I did Maggie: Honey you don't have to say that *** i won't feel guilty Jason: oh no Maggie we've talked the whole thing over through and through
成长的烦恼第七季12.
Loudspeaker: Ben Seaver get your hollow head in here!Mr. Dewitt: M-i-s-t-e-r Seaver? Do you think that I'm a fool?Ben: Sir, I was just repeating what everyone else was saying.Mr. Dewitt: Oh, don't smart-mouth me. You have requested an application for the advanced placement exam. What are you planning to do? Stage a fake fire drill? Fire a smoke bomb? Hire a stripper?Ben: Sir, if I could afford a stripper, I like…Ben: I am not playing anything. I signed from the test because I really wanna take it.Mr. Dewitt: Hold you promise. You expect me to believe that you, Ben Seaver, are college bound? Ben: Yes! I am, that's why I wanna take the test.Mr. Dewitt: But Mr. Seaver, you're a pathetic student. And the only person with worse grades than you is that kid who got hit by lightning.Ben: Sure I am doing much better than Sparky!?Ben: Please, check my grades!Mr. Dewitt: A three point O (3.0)?Mr. Dewitt: Ms. Dexter, put down that bottle. Someone has cracked the computer security code. Ben: All I've been cracking are these books, if you don't believe me, please ask my teachers.Mr. Dewitt: Lachaim!Mr. Dewitt: Well, yeah, Mr. Seaver, I am going to give you the application for the exam… But if I find out that you've been tampering with your grades…Ben: Sir, I haven't tampered with anything! I swear that I Ben Seaver am a 3.0 student. Believe me!Carol: Brianne! What are you doing?Brianne: Carol, I'm tired of being selfish, I have made a decision that will change both of our lives!Carol: You're gonna pick up your toe nails after you clipped them?Brianne: No! I finally realize this time I give a little back. So I am talking a job in Africa. Carol: You are going to work in a third world country?Brianne: I'm not sure what number it is.Carol: Well, will you be working in hospitals? Building homes? Farming?Brianne: Better: I'll be teaching low-impact aerobics at a Club made in Senegal!Carol: Brianne, I don't know what to say?Brianne: Oh, you're gonna miss me!Carol: That hardly describes it!Brianne: I got a plane to catch!Carol: Brianne, I will never forget you!Brianne: Don't you cry. Oh I'll be strong.Carol: It's over! She's gone! L-ladies and gentlemen, Brianne has l-e-f-t the building.Luke: Hey what's shaking?Ben: I am playing a game of hide-n-eat with Chrissy.Luke: Isn't it hide and seek?Ben: Well, you play your way I'll play mine.Luke: The advanced placement exam. Whooo smart guy!Ben: Keep it down, I don't want mom and dad to know. If I fail, nobody will be the wiser.Mike: Hey guys, where is dad? I need to hit him up for a loan before he meets with his account. Jason: Do you think I am made of money?Mike: Phew. Too late…Carol: You guys will never guess what happened. Brianne moved out and I am gonna be alone for the rest of this semester.Mike: Carol wake up, you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life.Carol: You guys can laugh if you want but I am here to pack up and leave this place forever. You've seen this face for the last time.Luke: Does anyone wanna feel that one?Mike: Great, we will play numb! May I remind you that Carol is very important to us?Luke: Er, You're right, she is your sister.Mike: Well, to heck with that, she's got a room that you could have.Carol: Absolutely, it's yours! Carol does not live here anymore.Mike: Great. Hey you better get the car, we'll just throw your jacket out the window.Luke: This is great, as soon as I get back from the library I am moving in.Chrissy: I think you never find me.Ben: I think so, too.Chrissy: Ok, Ben. Now turn to you hide.Ben: Oooh, really? Oooh, coats!Chrissy: Ten, twenty, thirty, thirty, thirty, hundred! Aw, I am not falling for that.CPA: I realize I am a licensed CPA, but I'll try to explain it in layman's terms: If you don't send bills you don't get paid!Jason: Well, Carol used to input my data on computer, now she's away at college.CPA: Can't one of your other kids help?Jason: Ugh yeah, Mike's too busy, Chrissy's five, and Ben, he's a sweet kid but let's face it, he's no Einstein.Jason: Oh, you're driving a Lamborghini?CPA: I am not behind in my billings.Jason: Can I honk the horn?Chrissy: Alright he wouldn't. He might?! This is where I hid! How stupid can you be?Ben: Ask dad.Mike: Hello, excuse me. Can I help you?Dwight: I was just admiring the pitch of your roof. It's been said, people have been stating up there all this time.Mike: Uhm, believe it or not, you're the first! Hehe, uh, are you a uh roofer?Dwight: Oh no! It's only a hobby.Mike: I see.Dwight: I am your new neighbour! Do you know the neo-Victorian House?Mike: The what?Dwight: With the renaissance influence!Mike: What're you talking 'bout?Dwight: This tree, three houses down…Mike: Oh! Oh, uh, I um, a little advice, if you ever order pizza, just give'em your address. Dwight: hahaha.Mike: Hehehe, let me take a wild shot, you're a friend of Carol's right?Dwight: Carol? Carol? Uh-haah , ooooooooh, I can say that name for hours.Mike: Well, please don't, uh, I just ate. Ok?Mike: Hey, Go down, the librarian!Carol: Dwight?Dwight: Ru-hoo. You're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen.Carol: Dwight, where did you come from?Dwight: This tree, three houses down…Carol: The neo-Victorian House with the renaissance influence?Dwight: Yes! I rented a month ago to be near you while I work on my PhD in medieval studies. Carol: But we have not even spoken since the dance of the Catskills.Dwight: Don't you remember that I told you then that I'd be moving to Long Island so that we could be together!Carol: You said, "See you around!"Dwight: Right, and then the next day I moved here.Carol: You moved here a month ago to be near me, and this is the first time that you've come over?Dwight: I didn't wanna appear to forward.Carol: Wow. You know, nobody has ever changed their zip code for me.They probably went out the door for me. I don't know what to say!Dwight: I knew it. I am arsing you. Pushee pushee pushee! I'll come back next month!Carol: No, wait, I think it's sweet! And I'm glad you tracked me down.Dwight: Groovy, hehe.Dwight: Would you like to come to my house and listen to some Gagarian Chants?Carol: You have them on CD?Dwight: No, I sign them.Carol: Groovy.Ken: Hey, yo, Ben, What's up?Ben: Nothing.Ken: You look like you fell outta your twin bubble-a-zaggin. Did you know I got this study guide for advance placement exam and it's not as hard as we thought, listen to this:Ken: Three boys share three quart canteen of oar. If the first boy drinks twice as much as the other two what do they each gain.Ben: A mouth full of backwash.Ken: What's with you? Yesterday you were all pumped up about taking the test.Ben: Yeah, well, that was before I played hide-n-seek.Luke: Okay, first time we'll move all the killed-stuff animals to the attic, I am gonna get rid of all those dead flowers, and then we are gonna get one of those pictures of dogs playing poker. Mike: Oooh, oooh, oooh, don't get too light, I need a birthday present for Kate.Mike: Hey, hehe, guys, what's this?Black Dude: This is my ticket to a good university, I don't wanna end up Alf Landen Junior College. You know their entrance exam is guessing the number of beans in a jar!Luke: Um, Mike, quit the Alf Landen.Mike: For your information, that bean thing isn't half as easy as it sounds!Ben: Teet-eet!Jason: Hey guys, I could use some assistance for firewood.Mike: Sorry no can do, Luke and I got a few minutes to get Carol's room.Jason: Oh Ben, could pick four or five good dry logs please?Jason: Ken, you wanna come in for some hot chocolate?Ken: Oh no thank you Dr. Seaver I gotta go home, and study.Jason: Awww, study, but to my boys study is just a room where Mrs. Peacock killed girl Mustard with a lead pipe.Ken: Well, you wanna get together and review this tomorrow?Ben: We'll see.Carol: (chuckles) We can't believe we just spent the last six hours together!Dwight: I know I know it only seemed like two hours and thirty eight minutes!Carol: It's amazing how much we have in common. I can't believe somebody actually knows all the presidents' birth stones.Dwight: I have to be honest with you; Millard Fillmore's Turquoise was just a lucky guess. Dwight: Carol, I've never felt such an intense connection with anyone else before. I am on fire. Carol: Me too. I can feel the electricity flowing through my body. I can't wait another minute. (smooch)Dwight: Oh-hoo.Carol: Me too.Dwight: From now on, this will be our drive-way. Can we meet right here tomorrow?Carol: Oh no! I just packed up all my stuff for them to give-away, I am telling my family they'd never see me again. To-mo-rrow it is.Maggie: Carol, I thought you'd gone to New York!Carol: Mother, the most amazing thing has happened. Do you remember Dwight Halliburton from the Catskills?Maggie: The one who kept hitting himself in the head?Carol: Right, and guess what: Now he's doing it in our neighbourhood. He has uprooted his whole life to move near me.Maggie: Well that sounds very romantic. Bizarre, but romantic.Carol: So, I have to stay here tonigntMaggie: I heard you gave your room to Luke today.Carol: Oh, well that's ok, I ,uh, I'll sleep on a foldable, sleep on a roof, If I can get any sleep at all.I am soaring like a bird, dancing like a breeze.Maggie: Chattering like a baboon.Carol: Oh Mike, you are so funny!Jason: Oh, no no no Ben not like that. I thought I told you to get dry ones Ben? Go get a couple more please, use your head.Maggie: Hey Ben, just the guy to test-taste the hot chocolate.Ben: I am not thirsty.Chrissy: I'll take his. He should not have all that sugar anyway.Maggie: Jason, what's wrong with Ben?Jason: Maggie that's such a broad question.Maggie: No, tonight, first he did not touch his dinner, then he passes up hot chocolate! For Ben that's quiet.Jason: He's fine, I saw him on the ground goofing up with Kenny just a couple of minutes ago. Jason: Aw, perfect, yes, dry ones! Now, they'll go like that. Right, that, that's a fire.Carol: Hi, I could not help by admire the pitch of your roof. Care to nibble on my muffins? Blondie: Can I help you?Carol: Is D-wight here?Blondie: Oh, he, he's in the shower. Can I take a message?Carol: Well, roof, pitch, nibble, Well I hope you both chew!Jason: Oh ho ho, what happened here?Maggie: Carol made muffins for her new boyfriend.Jason: Ah, Carol's got a new boyfriend, Boo, muffins? So who's this new boyfriend of Carol's? Maggie: Well you remember Dwight, the one I fox-trotted with at Catskill's?Jason: Oh, haha the one who hits himself a lot.Maggie: Uhm, I got a hunch this could be the one. I've never seen Carol act this way over a boy before?Jason: Hey, Morning sweetheart? Oh you didn't tell me about this new boyfriend?Carol: Boyfriend? I have no boyfriend.Jason: I thought Dwight?Carol: Dwight? Please! Just give me a little credit, since when does Carol Seaver have to lower her standards for a fork-tongued medieval maggot!Jason: Sorry my mistake.Carol: And another thing: As of this moment, Carol Seaver does not live here anymore.Ich bin ein New Yorker!Jason: Jawohl!Ben: Carol, can I ask you something?Carol: Ben, this is not a good time.Ben: Do you think I'm dumb?Carol: Yes!Ben: Well, it's a serious question. Do you think I am stupid?Carol: Ben, you're dumber than used chewing gum, you have the IQ of a saw, doesn't even your dryer set to fluff, you need anymore I'll have to get back to you.Mr. Dewitt: Mister Seaver!Mike: Heh!Mr. Dewitt: Long time no see.Mr. Dewitt: I guess my rash was stress-related.Mike: Well, it's nice to see you too. Why, you're dressed like Tuxedo Banana.Mr. Dewitt: Mr. Seaver, when you were under my tutelage I was prohibited by law from inflecting bodily harm; Now that you've matriculated, I can wail the totter outta ya.Mike: Hey, dad, it's for you!Jason: Mr. Dewitt, what's wrong? And why are you dressed like some big Banana?Mr. Dewitt: Oh I was cycling in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd swing by to check on why Ben didn't apply for the advanced placement exam.Jason: Ben! He hates tests. He'll even look for Waldo.Mr. Dewitt: Just as I thought.Mr. Dewitt: This was obviously about smoke bombs and strippers.Jason: Obviously.Mike: Dad, Where is the Banana.Jason: He went that way.Mike: Thanks, just get ready for big bucks!Jason: Hey Be-en!Ben: Yah!Jason: Our principal Mr. Dewitt was just here. Were you taking some advanced placement test? Ben: Yeah right, dad, but what would I do with that? We both know I'm no Einstein.Jason: What do you mean by that?Ben: Well, what did you mean by it. I heard you when you told your accountant. Let's face it Ben is no Einstein.Jason: Well obviously, I did not mean that way Ben?Ben: Yeah, well you said it!Ben: And I know you meant it cuz you didn't even knew I was listening. You think I am dumb and you've known me my whole life. I must be dumb!Jason: No, Ben, No.Mr. Dewitt: I have a confession to make. I did not tell you before because I did not wanna appear foolish in your eyes. It's my fault Ben's not taking that test. He expressed interested and I scoffed, I belittled, I had a great time. I did everything but call him stupid. Oh, since then I've talked to his teachers. Ben has a 3.0 average.Jason: A 3.0?Mr. Dewitt: I know. Pigs are flying. I have ruined your son. People trust me with their children and I, I break'em. Monday morning I am turning in my resignation.Jason: Mr. Dewitt, it's not your fault it's mine!Mr. Dewitt: Oh thank God. Oh to think I almost quit! Guess I better get my Schwinn in motion. Mike: Smile!Mr. Dewitt: That, that, that, doesn't..Dwight: Hi Carol?Carol: Hello.Dwight: The strangest thing happened this morning. A woman in blue plaid came to my door, threw muffins at my sister, threatened her and then ran.Carol: Your sister?Dwight: Yeah, Elaine's a stewardess, she visits whenever she flies into Kennedy, and my question is why muffins.Carol: Uhhm.Dwight: You positively blew with this hour of the morning.Carol: I do?Dwight: I'd love for you to come meet Elaine, wanna come over for some muffins? They're not very good, but what the heck they're free.(SING) Mark Rice: "Mustang Sally… Guess you better slow mustang down…"Jason: Mustang Sally, it's one of my old-time favorites. Ben I had no business say something likethis, like a stranger.Ben: Alright, you didn't mean it anyway.Jason: No, I meant it. I really did think you were no Einstein.Ben: Thanks a lot Dad.Jason: Neither was I.Ben (reads Jason's score card): D, C, F, C minus, D. Is this you?Jason: Uh-hum.Ben: You really were no Einstein. You were barely a Trigger.Jason: Boy it is Ben, even Einstein was no Einstein, you know he grew up that at school? Some of us don't' show our potential until later.Ben: So you're saying that some day I'll start showing my potential?Jason: You already have Ben. Last year when you started studying at home with your mother. Ben: Well, that's fine when she was working with me.Jason: That's not true. Your mother gave you confidence she got you started. But then you went out you took over by yourself. You became a 3.0 student on your own.Ben: I did, didn't I?Jason: And I almost blew the whole thing with that dumb remark.Ben: But then why did you say that?Jason: Oh you live in a family Ben, you tend to put labels on people. You know Carol was the smart one, Mike was the charming one, and then you, you're the one who goofy-glued sticky saliva into the dog-house.Jason: You got through this change these whole last few months Ben, well and it happened right under my nose, and I did not even see it I am so sorry. I missed it, please. I wish I could take back what I said, but I can't. Will you forgive me?Ben: I guess.Jason: Like you start over, clear the slate?Ben: Sure.Jason: Right.Ben: Hey, look, would you be interested in helping me input some data into the computer?Ben: You're kidding. You trust me to do something like that?Jason: Sure I would.Ben: Dad, this means so much, coming from you. Will you pay me?Jason: I'll pay you.Ben: Oh, Dad, this means so much! Coming from you.Screen: November 29th, 1991. Ben Seaver arrived to take the New York state advanced placement exam, unfortunately the test was scheduled for the 30th. Red-faced, the boy returned the next day and passed with flying colors. That same day a smoke bomb was detonated in the faculty lounge. To date, no suspects have been apprehended.The end.。
成长的烦恼6季剧本(中英对照)a010
610 欧洲之行(中)你好，Seaver太太，再次充满激情吗？去欧洲旅行吧，价格绝对便宜。
要想你爸去欧洲，除非猪能够飞起来。
Jason，头等舱，真没想到。
不，不，伙计们，你们还没到，这是我的。
Mike要去欧洲旅行？你有没有发现，根据日程安排，我们不去凭吊梵高墓了。
祝他健康。
你瞧，埃菲尔铁塔，哦，亲爱的，我还想住凯瑞饭店。
哦，对，我也这么想，上哪去找这么价廉物美的饭菜。
你就是在那向我求婚的。
你为什么到欧洲来？因为这六千八百万妇女对说的话一窃不通，我想这个挺有趣的。
（非英文）结婚纪念日快乐。
哦Jason，哦，哦，哦。
我们现在被困在欧洲了，只有两张六天以后从巴黎起飞的回程票，而且是在500英里以外。
是阑尾炎，亲爱的，去了医院一切都会好的。
我妈要是知道他的乖儿子在受苦，可以想象她有多着急啊。
哦……哦，哦。
呼吸亲爱的，呼吸，呼，呼。
Jason我又不是生孩子。
啊，孩子？快来，快来呀。
哦，根本没人，你别犯傻了。
犯傻？嘿！我又不是诈骗他们的储蓄来这旅游的，我是免费来的。
Amy，嘿！Amy，行了，你去哪儿啊？巴黎。
怎么去？步行去。
你有两条腿？不过是500英里，我有一周时间就能走到，尽管还会遇到一些小山。
好，有什么了不起的，你只会给我添乱，你给我记住，我真不该对你那么好。
我不需要她，我会很好的，可是我又没钱，现在情况又那么糟，怎么办呢？凭我的口才，什么也难不倒我。
哦，先生。
怎么？哦，哈。
法国。
谢谢你。
看来我可以上路了。
哦，嘿Amy，嘿Amy，等等，我不能这样让你一个人走啊，嘿，慢点，你需要我。
外婆，现在是早上两点，这玩意儿还得敷多久？哦，亲爱的，这是密西西比河的瘀泥，敷只要一分钟，干要一小时，它能把皮肤里的垃圾都吸出来，到早晨你的脸就像Ben的屁股一样的光滑。
这比喻真让人恶心。
哎，你就在沙发上稍歇一会儿，我去准备一把电动镊子。
好，臭蛋，明天晚上老时间，我父母都不在，我杀人也没关系。
你们刚才是在干什么？Ben杰米，你怎么到这个时候才回来，你才9岁是吗？我14了外婆，可以应征入伍了。
成长的烦恼第七季18
Public Announcement: Attention people; those interested in testifying at Nurse Downer's parole hearing should report to the office. Have a nice day.Luke: All right, there she is. The time to strike is now.Ben: Nothing weird hanging out of my nose?Luke: Just the usual.Ben: What? That's it! I'm not going!Luke: Just get over there and talk to her.Ben: Hi, Becka.Becka: Hi, Ben.Ben: Listen…Razor: Hey! Four eyes! Did I say that you could talk to Becka?Ben: Actually, my name's Ben.Razor: Shut up! You know, I don't like your attitude. I don't like the way you talk. I don't even like the way you breath.Ben: Less nasal? More nasal? A little more through the mouth?Razor: In fact, the only thing I do like about you is your cap.Ben: Thanks, I just got it.Razor: Give it to me.Ben: What?Razor: Take it off your head, and put it in my hand by the time I count to three. One! Two...Chicken. Why don't you cluck?Ben: Look, Razor, I know you're a tough guy, but there are certain things I will not do. Uh, so what are we talking here? Like, Rhode Island red, which is kind of a…(clucking)? Like a Jersey giant, which is kind of ….(clucking)?Maggie: Chrissy, I told you to get in the bath.Chrissy: I don't want to.Jason: (clearing throat)Chrissy: Okay, daddy! Whatever you say!Maggie: Wait a minute. She ignores me totally, and you just clear your throat? What is this, some kind of psychological minimalist type of thing?Jason: No, no. Just kind of a, you know, choking on a Chik-let kind of thing.Ben: That's it! I've made my decision, and you're not talking me out of it. I want a gun.Jason: (gasping) Forget it!Ben: Okay, you talked me out of it. Here's plan B; I want to take karate lessons.Jason: Karate?Maggie: Why?Ben: You guys remember my brand-new $27 cap? Well, this punk at school named Razor made me give it to him in front of Becka and everybody.Jason: Come on, Ben, you've had to deal with bullies before…$27 cap?Ben: This kid is dangerous. He is certified USDA mean.Jason: Well, I think you should report this to the vice-principal.Ben: Yeah? A kid tried that last year. Now he's living in Nevada under an assumed name. Jason: There's gotta be a better way to handle this, Ben. Why don't you just go…?Ben: What's so about karate? I mean, it's philosophical, it's graceful, and it teaches you how to putyour foot through somebody's brain.Maggie: Oh! Ben, if that's why you want to learn karate, you can forget it.Ben: Fine! Then let me go look in my closet to see if I have anything else in Razor's size. Jason: Ben! Wait a minute, Ben. Maggie, maybe it's not such a bad idea to let him take a few karate lessons.Maggie: No way.Jason: Well, you don't know what it's like. You've never had somebody bully you around at school. Maggie: Well, as a matter of fact, Didi Ribozo tried to keep me from using the girl's bathroom the entire junior year.Jason: So what did you do?Maggie: I gave up liquids during school hours.Jason: See, you gave in. That's not the way you want Ben to solve this.Maggie: Well, I know that, Jason. But I also don't want him putting his foot through someone's brain.Jason: Well, right now, someone's brain is inside Ben's cap. I don't like violence any more than you do, but we're both gonna feel better if he knows how to protect himself.Maggie: Yeah, but I just wish there was some way he could reason with this boy.Jason: Maggie, it is my experience there are two kinds of people; those you reason with, and those named Razor.Dwight: Mike, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me sell my car.Mike: Oh, how could I not help? And Dwight, you could be the man that marries Carol, and takes her far, far away. I'm just thanking you in advance.Car buyer1: Excuse me. I'm her about the car.Mike: Oh, yes! I'm telling you, they broke the mold when they made this baby.Dwight: Oh, I sure hope so. It's got a faulty heater hose, the fan belt's worn out, it doesn't start in the rain, the starter kinda goes ruhn-ruhn, and when you turn the radio on the lights go off.Car buyer1: Good luck!Mike: Dwight! What are you doing?Dwight: Telling the truth.Mike: To sell a used car?Dwight: Mike, you aren't suggesting that I lie, are you?Mike: No! I'm ordering you to lie.Dwight: Mike, I've only lied once in my whole life. I told my mother that I'd washed my hands before dinner when I hadn't. The words were barely out of my mouth, when a very large piece of Skylab came crashing down through our roof. It was an omen, Mike.Mike: Okay, Chicken Little. Well, then we won't call it lying. We'll just call it accentuating the positive. You know, try to think of the good things you can say about the car with a clear conscience.Dwight: If you get hit from behind, there's a pretty good chance it won't explode.Mike: Great! You see, that's not so hard, is it?Dwight: No.Mike: Okay.Dwight: But I will not lie.Mike: Dwight, I'm with you 110 percent. Okay, let's talk about it while we roll back the odometer.Maggie: Okay, Ben, we have to go in back to get your uniform.Ben: Oh, I'll be right there.[Dream sequence: The Five Fingers of Ben]Villian leader: Hey, there, you! Blond boy! People say you are looking around to find me.Ben: Correct! I hate you with great hatred.[gang noises]Villian leader: While you are looking for us, we have decimated your little town.Villian: (laughing) And pistol-whipped your goldfish.Ben: Prepare for a very painful death.Villian leader: Silence! I am tired of this snappy patter. Let us fight and make snappy patter. [fighters yelling]Ben: You fight like my aunt Bertha.Ben: It's a pity there are only five of you. I was hoping to break a sweat. Swamp-dwelling insects. Villian leader: Destroy him.[fighting sounds]Ben: (laughing)Villian leader: Blond boy! You are not bad, but you must fight with greater dexterity, if you want to challenge me.[fighting sounds]Villian leader: And now, I shall laugh in your face. (laughing)Ben: Nobody laughs in my face. It is I who shall laugh in yours. (laughing) And now, prepare yourself to taste my fist.Ben: Ai-yah!Maggie: Ben, are you okay?Ben: Oh, yeah!Sim: Faster! Again! One, two, three, four!Maggie: Uh, uh, excuse me, excuse me, uh, Master Sim, Master Sim…Sim: Tell me, Ben. Have you ever seen a fight between cobra and mongoose?Ben: Uh, just Mike and my dad when the rent's due.Sim: Same principal; attack, counter-attack. Get ready! We're gonna go faster now. Go! One, two, three…Maggie: No! No! Master Sim, please! You might hurt him.Ben: Aw, mom.Sim: Ben, take a break.Maggie: I'm sorry, Master Sim, but this is all much too violent.Sim: Karate is not about violence, Mrs. Seaver. Karate is about control. Control of yourself first, and then control of someone who may be trying to hurt you.Ben: Look, mom, no one's getting hurt. Come on, I'll show you.Maggie: No, the only hand-to-hand combat I do is at the Macy's white sale.Ben: No, mom. I'll just be showing you how I'm learning to defend myself. Is that all right Master Sim?Sim: Yes, but remember your mother has had no lessons, so block her blows, but don't counter-punch.Ben: Okay, mom. Just try and punch me.Maggie: Ah! Oh!Ben: Mom, a punch, not a slap. Come on.Sim: Good footwork, Ben.Ben: Okay, mom. Now really let me have it this time.Maggie: Okay, Ben. If you're sure.Ben: Ai-yah!Maggie: (hitting Ben) Oh! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, Ben! Are you all right, sweetheart? Oh! Oh, honey!Mike: Hey, you know, Ben, I've been thinking about your problem. And I really think that if you keep up this karate, and you study real hard for the next three years, you could take mom. After that, who knows; grandma, Carol, probably most of the girls at school.Ben: My mother clocks me. My brother makes fun of me. How much worse can this get? [Dream sequence: Enter The Wimp]Maggie: Hey, you, little blond boy. I see you are depressed and humiliated.Ben: Oh, please, mom. Don't make fun of me.Maggie: Don't be silly, little blond boy. I would never do such a thing. Unless I had help of course, from family and friends.Jason: You are so very weak. I have replaced your CD's with….Perry Como records.Mike: And painted your guitar.Luke: And stolen your girlfriends.Jason: And put new sheets on your bed decorated with tiny hearts and flowers.Ben: Come on, you guys.Entire family: (karate sounds)Maggie: I grow weary of these attacks. Let his friends at school attack him.Ben: No, please, mom, don't make me go to school.Maggie: Have no fear, little blond boy. We shall send you to school with a fearsome bodyguard. Chrissy: Ai-yah! I will protect you, little blond boy. And then I shall laugh in your face. (laughing) Maggie: Hey, Ben. You didn't finish your breakfast.Ben: Mom, I made my decision. I'm quitting karate.Maggie: You want to quit?Ben: Yeah. I'd quit school but it's illegal. I'd quit the family but I'd starve. Look, you mind if I stay home from school today? I'm not feeling so good.Maggie: I guess it's all right.Ben: Thanks.Car buyer2: Well, it certainly looks fine. I'll take it!Dwight: Oh, there are a couple of problems that you should probably….Mike: Uh, say, Dwight, uh. Do you happen to have the same craving for some port wine cheese balls as I do?Dwight: Why, yes I do. I thought it was just me.Mike: Boy, I say, why don't you go whip us up some, and I'll, uh, close the deal.Dwight: Sure.Car buyer2: What are these problems he's talking about?Mike: Oh, oh, nothing ma'am. That's just Dwight. He, he happens to think that we're not charging enough. But since when is selling a car about making money? It's about people helping people,right?Car buyer2: (sighing) Isn't that sweet! (gasping) Say, what's that black puddle under there? Mike: Oh, uh, th-that's perfectly normal. Uh, it's, well, just the same way that your body sweats, uh, a car releases moisture. It's, uh, a sign of health.Car buyer2: Well, my friends say I should have it checked by a mechanic, but you have such an honest face. Shall I make the check out to you?Mike: Yes. No! Uh, yes. No, no! Ma'am, it's a rolling death trap. Quick! Get out of here before I sell it to you again.Dwight: Well, well, well. You told the truth.Mike: Well, I didn't mean to. It just slipped out.Dwight: Cheese ball?Mike: Dufus! Oh, sorry.Dwight: Well, Mike, I guess you're right. We'll never sell the car by telling the truth.Mike: Oh, yeah? Well, I got an idea. Dwight, you pop the hood. I'm gonna get my tools. You and I are gonna fix this car.Mike: Dwight, that's the trunk.Dwight: Oh, my God! Where have I been putting the oil?Jason: Okay. All right. We'll deal with Ben your way.Maggie: Trust me, Jason, it'll work.Jason: Last time you said that we had to get married.Maggie: Oh! He's coming.Jason: Hey, Ben. Your mom says you want to give up karate lessons.Ben: Look, dad. I tried; I failed; my life is ruined.Jason: C'mon, that eye's gonna be fine. But there's no reason why you can't go right back to karate class.Maggie: Jason, what are you talking about? The next person he fights might not love him like I do. Jason: Well, I don't want our son to give up just because he got hurt, Maggie.Maggie: Jason, he wasn't just hurt. He was taken out, flattened, destroyed! By his mommy! I'm sorry, pookie, does it still hurt?Ben: No! I've made peace with being a four-eyed geek, whose butt was kicked by his mother. Jason: Ben, I don't want you to quit, and I'm gonna tell you why.Ben: Oh, please, dad. No pep talks.Jason: Oh, come on. I mean, you've been down before, Ben, and every time you've been down before, you've reached down deeper for some of that "heck, I can do it" Seaver spirit, right? Ben: And I thought you were gonna give me a pep talk.Jason: And what about the cap thing?Maggie: Oh, it's very simple. From now on, we dress him in plain, generic clothes that no other kid would be caught dead in.Ben: Wait a minute….Maggie: Jason, let him quit.Jason: Oh, we still gotta eat the cost of those karate lessons.Maggie: Well, Chrissy can take them.Jason: Ah.Maggie: Honey, we should just face it. It's obvious that Ben doesn't have the talent, the drive, orthe ability.Jason: God knows, he's a klutz.Ben: Okay, okay. I'm starting to feel that "heck, I can do it" Seaver spirit. Mom, dad, I'm going back to karate. And you know, you guys used to be much better at this "good cop, bad cop" thing. Maggie: So, would you glad trust me?Jason: Both times.Sim: Let's go! Huh!Sim: Recall your kicks.Maggie: That's great! Great!Car Buyer3: She's kinda old. How's she holding up?Mike: Just like brand new, because I have, and may a satellite strike me if I'm lying, not only tuned it up, but I have changed the brakes, I've checked the alignment, fixed the fuel pump, I have replaced all the hoses, and preset all the radio stations.Car buyer3: Sounds great! Will you accept a personal check?Dwight: No!Car buyer3: Even with two forms of ID?Dwight: No!Car buyer3: All right, I'll offer you cash.Dwight: No! We're not selling.Mike: Dwight! We're not what?Dwight: Mike, I only wanted to sell it cause it went (car noises), and now that's gone! It's going vroom-vroom! And my heart's going thawagada-thawagada-thawagada.Mike: Dwight, will you join me for a minute in this time zone?Dwight: Mike, thanks to you I love my car again. And we're not selling!Mike: Dwight! You cheese-eating, tangle-haired, medieval moron! I put over $500 of labor into this hunk of junk!Dwight: Thank you.Luke: Woo! Hey, Ben! Looking fresh.Ben: Thanks.Ben: Well, it's Becka. Finally I'm ready to talk to her.Luke: If Becka's around, so is Razor.Ben: Don't worry about it. I know what to do.Ben: Hi, Becka.Becka: Hi, Ben.Razor: Hi, geek.Ben: The name's Ben.Razor: Oh, that's right. You had it written inside my new hat.Ben: Look, I don't want any trouble.Razor: Oh, yeah? Well, you know what I want? I want that nice, new jacket you've got on.Ben: Okay, he's facing me three-quarters to the left. That leaves him wide open for a fake jab, step in, back-kick to the ribs, and I can finish him off with a palm thrust to the nose.Razor: What are you staring at, geek? Am I gonna have to bust you one? I said give it to me now. Luke: Somebody get the nurse, quick, this guys hurt.Razor: What are you staring at, geek? Am I gonna have to bust you one? I said give it to me now.Luke: No. I'm not giving you this jacket, or anything else ever again.Razor: Whoa! Big man, huh? Big words. All right, geek, c'mon, let's throw. Show me what you've got, tough guy, huh! C'mon, let's go for it right here, right now! Go for it!Luke: He's wide open. The dude will never see it coming. Control. Don't touch him unless you have to.Razor: C'mon, geek, let's go for it. Huh! Huh! (clucking)Ben: I'm not gonna fight you.Razor: Did you hear that? He said he's not gonna fight me, huh. What am I supposed to do, huh? Stand on his feet, and use him like a punching bag? (laughing) Look at the dude, he's frozen. Come on, babe, let's get out of here.Luke: Hey, man, you were amazing.Ben: Thanks. I came real close to getting ugly.Luke: Well, speaking of ugly, you can forget about Becka. She's not worth it.Gail: Excuse, me. Ben?Ben: Yeah?Gail: I really like the way you handled that creep.Ben: Thanks.Gail: Save you a seat at lunch?Ben: Sure. I'm always hungry.。
成长的烦恼GrowingPains第7季中英剧本
701Back to School Ma:Hi honey.J:Oh you're back…have you seen my credit1cards? Ma:Oh yes…Did you know that you could double a spending limit with just one call?J:You're kidding!You didn't.Ma:Relax;we only shopped at the back to school sales.B:I'm supposed to start the tenth grade in Marvin Kline jeans?Mom:They are just as good as the expensive ones. B:Nothing comes between me and my Marvins? Please!Chrissy:Look daddy,I got a new lunch box.J:Hannibal lector2?What happen to the surfs3? Chrissy:Dad,I'm starting kindergarden…I'ts a very fast crowd4.What are you doing?C:Well I have to start packing,I'm moving to the dorm5on Monday.B:Yes,yes yesChrissy:Carol,this house won't be the same without you.B:Yes Yes YesM:Marvin Klines?Hahaha.J:Hey Mike I'm glad you're here.Listen you and I 嗨，亲爱的你回来啦，看到我的信用卡了吗？哦，在这儿只要打个电话，用款信用就能增加一倍你不知道？是吗？你打了？别急，我们只买开学减价商品。
成长的烦恼各集简介1
这是一部经久不衰的电视佳作，更是一本最生动的相册，记录了一群孩子成长中的一切，更是为人父母的心路历程。
Mike的从小到大的一贯的调皮和爱耍小聪明,Carol的些许书呆子气和Ben的傻气稚嫩，父亲Jason的启发式非强制教育方法时常带来的无可奈何的幽默，让人在捧腹中深思……Growing Pains was about a family of five, the Seavers, who lived on Long Island, New York. Jason Seaver was the father, a psychiatrist, who had his practice at home. (From the 1st to the 5th season) Maggie, his wife, was a journalist who worked for the Long Island newspaper in the first three seasons of the sitcom. She got a job as the news anchor for channel 19 news and worked there through the middle of the 5th season when she decided to stay at home. Jason moved his practice out of the house to an office. During the last seasons, she worked at home writing a consumer awareness column for the local newspaper.(1)出师受挫：麦琪在家呆了15年后开始外出工作了。
杰生同意迈克去流汗舞厅，希望迈克在获得更多自由的同时担负起相应的责任，可迈克当天就撞坏了警车进了班房，杰生非常生气，对满柜的衣服生气。
成长的烦恼第七季14
TV: And that's why for our part of the investigation, New York's finest: Pizzerias that is.Kate: Do you believe the garbage they have on local news?Mike: Oh yeah, I know. Who was number two, was it Jessetti or Antonio?TV: Still ahead, Record snowstorms are due to hit local ski resort areas this weekend.Kate: Oh, Mike, doesn't skiing sound like fun?Mike: Uh, you know what sounds like a lot of fun? It's two for one take-out thing to taste at Nagel's.Kate: We'd be outdoor, the cold fresh wind in our faces.Mike: That's fine, when the pizza gets here we will take it in the backyard.Kate: Mike, I am serious.Mike: Kate, you think I can afford a ski-trip?Kate: I can, I got some money left at my last modeling job.Mike: look, don't take this in a patronizing way,but I do like to pay for the little woman.Kate: Well, then I suggest you find one.Mike: Aw, look, Kate, what I am saying is just that I would feel a lot more comfortable doing things that I can afford. Like taking us out to dinner.Kate: I am tired of hiding in the bathroom while you're taking happy meals.Mike: Well, I did not hear you complain when you got the pirate hit. Alright, alright I will take you skiing.Kate: Yes, yes!Mike: But I am paying and that's that.Kate: What does it matter who pays.Because Kate I m a man, and if nothing else, I have got my pride.Mike: Oh, please, please, please! Carol, borrow me some money.Carol: I have 3 words for you. No way.Mike: That's only two.Carol: No way. Stump-head.Mike: Fine, fine, fine, Carol, I can finish this trip out of my own pocket!Luke: Wakes up late.Mike: Hey, can I have the number for the White Mountain Watch please? Thank you.Luke: Mike, why don't you just let Kate pay?Mike: Look, this is far too complicated for you to understand.Luke: Huh, Mike pays: Big man! Kate pays: Big Wuss!Mike: That is pretty doggone complicated?!Mike on phone: Hi, could you please tell me how much your cheapest but most impressive room is? Three hundred dollars? Oh, don't you have something cheaper, like a room somebody was murdered in? That's two seventy five? Yeah well do you have anything else? A free room? But only if I bring 20 paying customers with me? Ok I will take it! Yeah, yeah, that's right, Siever. Party 20, book Danielle, fine, book it Morris.Mike to Luke: Hey, Luke, uh, how would you like to go skiing this weekend for only fifty bucks? Luke: Well, I have been saving my allowance, but one question: Where are we gonna find nineteen other saps stupid enough to pay for your skiing trip?Ben: You want me to invite the entire Duree High chess club skiing? Mike, the chess club is the valley of the geefers, these guys won't wanna ski.Mike: But, Ben, they'll listen to you. You're their president.Ben: I tried to resign. They started crying.Mike: Well, they're just like the kinda gentle souls that I'd like to chaperone.Ben: Mike, these guys are too uncoordinated to ski. Last week, Leo Platte's toe got his toe stuck in his fly!Mike: It's not problem! It's perfect! They don't have to ski, the just have to pay!Ben: So what's in this for me?Mike: Well, you'll have Jack Frost, nipping at your nose and you'll have a gorgeous ski buddy nipping at your…Ben: Eighteen sign-ups and I made them all pay cash! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll have to go and sew some lipid patches in my jacket.Mike: Mission Accomplished!Luke: Alright, but one question: What are you and Kate gonna do starting by eating at DuFei with cheese in their braces?Mike: You're right, now I don't know who is gullible enough to chaperone on a herd of nerds? Dwight: The tall guy said: Duck-o-ree-dee duck! Duck for me too!Both: laugh.Mike: Hi guys, what's going on?Dwight: Oh I am taking Carol to the Swedish film festival.Carol: We're seeing: My life is a dog.Mike: Oh Carol, Why would I pay money to see that? You live it!Carol: For your information, Dwight and I are getting pre-fed-up with the way you guys treat me. Dwight: That's right! I've had an earful. And I don't wanna hear you compare my girlfriend to a Swedish film again. You know what I mean jellybean?Mike: Well, uh, we're of course ashamed of ourselves. Hey how about I make it up to ya? Huh? What would you say to a ski trip this weekend, at the White Mountain lodge for one hundred bucks!Dwight: Oh no please, the ski trip is enough, I could not possibly accept one hundred bucks. Mike: No, Dwights, you would pay.Dwight: Oh that's better. Ok, yea, count us in. Do we bring our own leather hosing?Mike: No, no, you can rent, there is a leather hosing stand. Dwight, Dwight, but, uh, I almost forgot the best part! See, you'll be driving up on a bus with 20 teenage chess players.Dwight: Yippi-Ya Yo-ka-ye!Mike: Well, what was I thinking? You will have to check their names off a list as they get on the bus.Dwight: You're kidding, for a cheap ski trip I'll check their teeth!Mike: Okay, well great! Just one other thing: we need to tell Carol about this, make her think it was your idea. And the bus ride will be a surprise, women love that kinda stuff.Dwight: Mike, you're so good to me.Dwight: Honey? I decided we go skiing this weekend.Carol: With you?Dwight: And no chess players!Carol: Oh, Dwight, you're so good to me!Maggie: Mike, you wanna take Ben and Luke and a bunch of teenagers on a weekend ski trip?Mike: Uh-huhJason: We're gonna have a big problem with that, young man.Mike: Well, Dwight and Carol are coming.Jason: Have a good time, son!Maggie: Jason, I look I feel better knowing that Carol's going but didn't you cave in a little easier? Jason: I did not cave Maggie, I calculated quickly. I have just bought us our first weekend allowance since Chrissy was born!Chrissy: Daddy, can you turn on the water when I get upstairs?Maggie: Eddie, what are you doing?Chrissy: Making Cement?Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How would you like to make some cement at grandma Hermes's this week?Chrissy: Great! I just wish you'd said something before I slipped the gravel upstairs!Woman: Bonjour, (foreign language probably French meaning I am here) (foreign language) Is there something different about this room?Maggie: No.?Woman: Too bad!Maggie: Is there something different about your hair?Woman: Oh, no, noJason: Hey, hey, Hey.Jason: Who is this little fella?Woman: This is my son, Max!Jason: Yeah, give me five Max.Max: (slaps Jason) Yeah!Woman: He is really like you. He usually does this to grandparents. As usual. we're going away this week, could you keep an eye oin our house? Taking the mail, the papers, the goat cheese,Jason: Hey but once you get outta town, we're through.Woman: Oh no? kiss kiss bye-bye?Maggie: Rich-rich, gag-gag?Kate: I thought it was wonderful! Look at the bungalow, it's huge! You could sleep twenty people here!Mike: Yeah, with any luck!Kate: I can't believe you got us an enormous place all to ourselves!Mike: Well, yea, actually, uhKate: Isn't this the same bus of kids tat followed us all the way up here?Mike: Yeah, it is, listen Kate, I got a kinda confession I wanna make to you. You see, I sort of arranged for a small group of kids to come join us.Kate: Join us?Mike: Yes, but they're very well behaved, small, well-chaperoned. We'll hardly notice. Hooligan: Okay Space Fans! At once, let's get stupid!Mike: Excuse me, Ben, Ben? What's going on? Ben this can't be the Chess Club?Ben: How can you tell?Mike: What, hey, hey, hey you, If I challenged your queen with my rook, what would you do? Hooligan: Turn you upside down and make a wish?!Ben: Come on Mike! I did not want to spend the weekend with Nerds on Ice! So I invented the biggest party in the whole school.Mike: How am I supposed to have a nice weekend with Kate with all these horn dogs, uh, horny dogs or whatever!Ben: You're right, you're right, I see your point. Let's send Kate home on the next bus.Mike: I said chess club members!Ben: Well, you got one. Leo Lime-tongue Flat neck.Mike: Lime-tongue?Ben: Well, he's tongue is green. He only eats green things.Luke: Well, that's the explanation we can live with!Hooligan: I'll be glad to wax them for ya!Kate: Oh, I don't my skis waxed.Hooligan: I'm not talking about your skis.Kate: Mike!Dwight: Okay, our present account of, by the way, Mike, you did not mention that I had to drive the bus.Mike: Dwight, you were supposed to drive the bus!Dwight: Oh, well, that's why that guy was cussing at me while we drove away.Kate: No, I will NOT participate in anything called a Moon-o-thon. Where are the rooms, all I wanna do is get away from these…screaming banshees, they're dancing on top of the bus.Mike: No, no, no, no, Carol. You cannot go hide in your room! You and Dwight are here to chaperone!Carol: (Hysteric) Huh?Dwight: Yeah, we talked into hygiene, we talked leather hose, but there is no mention of chaperoning?!Mike: Whoa whoa, excuse me? I went outta my way to get you and Carol this bargain trip? And now when I need you the most, you don't have a couple of extra minutes to keep an eye on some fun-starved kids?Dwight: That's right. I've been in pain. Selfish, selfish, selfish!Mike: Much better, ok, now, come here. The boys room is over here on the right, and the girls' on the left. Whatever you do, don't play chess with the big guy.Dwight: Could I have your attention?Carol: Mike? This time you've pushed things too far! I only came up here because Dwight said you invited us out of goodness of your heart!Mike: Carol, you know me for 20 years. Does that sound like me?Carol: No.Mike: Now, go, shift!Kate: Mike? Call me old-fashioned, but twenty kids pouncing the bell hop is not exactly my idea of a romantic weekend.Mike: Everyone seems to be enjoying it? Don't worry about the kids. They'll be fun.Lime tongue: Mr. Siever?Mike: Who are you?Kate: God!Mike: I'll be with you in a second, Lime Tongue. Come here, it's gonna be fine, Carol is in charge of the kids, we wont even notice them once they've hit the slope.Lime tongue: Oh that's what I came to tell you sir, there is no snow. The area is completely shut down. Something to do with tropical depression "Urve" (he means Curve)Both: No snow?Lime tongue: You know what! I am excited too, I am allergic to snow. Now we can reak up the chess boards and have a "hoot nanny".Mike: Look, your hoot master's named Carol, okay? She's not even here, she's tested the ear wax! Kate: Mike, if these kids can't ski, they'll tear this place apart!Mike: Kate, Kate, relax! That's the beauty of my plans. It is not our problem, it's Carol's.Mike: Carol, what happened!??Carol: It's my ankle.Luke: She slipped on some ice.Mike: What, what Ice? There's no ice!Lime tongue: I spilled my Fanta.Dwight: Fear nothing, but I am gonna get a doctor, you're in no condition to chaperone.Kate: Well, Mr-I-like-to-pay-for-the-little-women, looks like you're in charge now?Lime tongue: Say, why don't you ditch Brillow-head and let's get stupid?Maggie: Ooh, Jason, just you and I in this big house. All by ourselves.Jason: Uh-huhMaggie: Whatever shall we do?Jason: Well, I don't know.(alarm siren went off)Jason: Well, that 's coming from the Creed Martin, must be their stupid house alarm!Maggie: Did somebody break in?Jason: Not that I hope so.. Maybe they will shut the alarm off.Jason on phone: Yeah, Yes, yes, I am calling to report a house alarm going off at 17, Robinhood lane. Yes, I know I have a very nice speaking voice, thank you. No, I don't want you to come over?! I just would like you to notify the police. Could you send somebody over? When? Between twenty minutes and six hours? No, that's ridicule...Uh? Huh!Jason to Maggie: We got a crisis and the 911 operator is flirting with me.Maggie: Well, that's unprofessional of her?!Jason: Him.Lime tongue (singing):Someone left the cake out in the rainI don't think that I can take itCuz I took so long to take itAnd I'll never have that recipe, again!Oh noooooo!Lime tongue: One more time everybody!Mike: O-kay! Is it 9:30 everybody? It's time to turn in.Blonde girl: First there is no snow, and now I have to go to bed early? You are worse than my mother!Hooligan: I paid for a fun weekend, and I am gonna have fun, whether I party, or snow-plough your face! Good night!Dwight: Oh, carrying you into the room my darling, I do have to go do a bed check.Carol: This is so romantic, just like in Gone with the wind.Carol: My Red!Dwight: My Scarlet.Luke: My God!!Kate: We have not had two minutes alone. I have spent more time with green tongue!Lime tongue: Lime tongue.Kate: Do something!Mike: Go, suck an avocado!Lime tongue: Ooh, Baby!Mike: Look, Kate, look, I know that the trip not lucky on the start. But we alone now. So, what do you say we make some hot coco, we snuggle by the fire.Kate: Oh, great!Mike: Ok, Come on. Hehehe.All: Go, go, go, go.Kate: What's that?Mike: It's just the wind.Dwight: Oh, I am gonna turn in now, kids are all in bed playing Mix Doubles for cheesy.Kate: Mix Doubles?Mike: In their beds?Dwight: Yeah, so it's up to about Shrimps and Skins.Kate: He better makes sure no one scores.(Group Scream).(House Alarm)Maggie: Jason, for the umpteenth time, why don't we just check into a hotel?Jason: Maggie, we are not gonna check into an expensive hotel just because we have Godless neighbours. I better think what to do with my 36:50.Maggie Oh... Why don't you just block the sound out of your mind? Pretend it's the ocean?! Jason: Oh, Maggie, the ocean does not make my ears bleed.Jason on phone: Hello, yea, I've called several times tonight about this house alarm going off, yes;I am the one with the nice speaking voice. Oh great, good, the alarm company's sending somebody over. That's terrific. When; Monday morning?!!! Listen to me: I am the burglar. I am standing in the dining room looking at the china cabinet and if you don't send somebody right away, the gravy boat goes! Sending somebody over… Alright, when? Twenty minutes to six hours??? I uph! Maggie: Wait a minute. Don't do anything foolish.Jason: Do you think I look like I am about do something foolish?(Music theme from Pink Panther)(Police sirens)Maggie: Jason!Police: So you know this clown, huh?Maggie: Officer, this is no clown, This is a loving husband and a respected psychiatrist.Police: Which is why he was up a ladder in his pyjamas trying to slap shack your neighbour's burglar alarm.Jason: When you put it that way it sounds silly. But I had…Maggie: Officer… it's that alarm, it's driving my husband out of his mind.Police: A sure trip I am sure.Maggie: Can't you do something?Police: I could pistol-whip him?Maggie: No, no, about the alarm.Police: Well, uh, my partner is already on that, Ma'am.Jason: Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're a prince.Police: Cool it, cool it. Look pal, that stuff may work on 911 operator, but I am a different breed of cat.Police to Maggie: Ma'am.Jason: Hey, hey, oooh, oooh, officer!Kate: Do you know why this whole disaster happened? Because you could have let me pay for a simple trip.Mike: Uh, Look, Kate, Kate, if it would have just snowed, and if Ben had just invited the Chess Club, Carol hadn't slipped on that Soda, and Lime tongue had not been born!Kate: Mike! Because of your stupid pig-headed pride, nobody had fun this weekend.Carol: Oh, oooh, oooooh, hooooh! (as riding Dwight)Luke: I hope she dismounts him before he drives us home!Kate: Next time, whoever has the money, pays!(phone rings)Ben: I'll get it!Lime tongue: Bad news! There's a blizzard! The roads are closed until tomorrow.Hooligan: Yeaaaah! Yeah! Let's get stupid!Kate: That? And all I wanna do is get outta here.Mike: Kate? Kate? I am afraid we're sort of stuck in here another night.Kate: What???Ben: Mike, that was the front desk, they said if you stay another night, they need a 1000 dollar deposit.Mike: Uh, Kate? Remember what you said about whoever has the money pays?。
成长的烦恼第七季24
Maggie: The senator offered me a job!Jason: What?Maggie: Executive director of Media Relations.Maggie: We are thinking about moving to a wonderful place called Washington DC.Chrissy: The murder capital of the USA?Ben: You guys can go on ahead to Washington, but I'm not going.Maggie: Ok everyone I have made my decision, I am taking the job in Washington.Jason: You are?Ban: And I'm getting a car!Jason: You are?Kate: Hi, I rushed over as fast as I could.Mike: I am going to get right to the point, Kate let's do it.Kate: Pardon me?Mike: Let's get married.Kate: Mike I have waited so long to hear you say that, I am so happy!Mike: Oh, great then it's settled.Kate: Oh this is so unexpected.Mike: Well Kate, with my patents selling the house and moving to Washington DC.Kate: Your parents are moving to Washington?Mike: I mean I have got to start thinking about my future. I mean our future, dearest. I mean let's face it Kate it is going to be though.Kate: Oh I know but we can do it. We might ha ve to scrimp and save….Mike: I am so glad your up for this; I was actually thinking that I was going to have to find myself a new apartment.Kate: Oh really?Mike: Oh yeah, but now we can stay at your place.Kate: My place?Mike: Oh then we agree! I was worried there for a second, I mean let's face it my mom is not going to be around to do my cooking and cleaning any more.Kate: Poor baby. But if we were married than I could do those things.Mike: Exactly!Kate: I could keep the refrigerator full and I could help pay those bills.Mike: Ah, Kate your reading my mind.Kate: You could have your friends over and I could wait on them hand and foot.Mike: We are so in sync, this is the perfect time for us to be together.Kate: Mike you are amazing.Mike: Oh well thank you but I did have a whole night to work this out.Kate: Mike Seaver, I've got three little words for you.Mike: I love you?Kate: Get a dog.Chrissy: Ben you've got to help me, Mr. Blowhole doesn't want to move.Ben: Ok, now why won't he go to Washington?Chrissy: He is afraid that he won't have any friends to play with.Ben: Well, does he know that I'm going to be there and so will mom and dad?Chrissy: I'm talking friends here Ben, you know his kind.Ben: Oh, well, maybe he will listen to this big butt thing here.Chrissy: That's Bertha Big Jeans.Ben: Man, she needs to cut back on the honey.Chrissy: You don't know a lot, all the animals talk behind your back.Ben: Hi there Mr. Blowhole.Chrissy: Oh, Ben one thing, Mr. Blowhole is good friends with Papa Pig.Ben: Ok. Now see here Blowhole, you have to move with the family.Chrissy: Mr. Blowhole says he was born in this house and it is the only place he ever lived. Ben: Well Washington DC is nice place to live.Chrissy: Ben he is scared.Ben: Don't be scared Mr. Blowhole, we are your family and when a family goes somewhere they have nothing to be afraid of. Yeah, yeah.Chrissy: What? Mr. Blowhole says he will go.Ben: Yeah!Chrissy: And Mr. Blowhole wants to give you the biggest kiss of all.Ben: Oh, that's all right.Chrissy: Come on, kiss Mr. Blowhole.Ben: Ok, come here Blowhole. Pucker up.Mike: Hey dad, I think it's time we have a guy to guy talk.Jason: Yeah well that would be nice Mike but I am a little busy right now.Mike: Oh well that's up to you dad, but can you afford to put your future on hold?Jason: Oh my God, you got a job selling life insurance.Mike: No dad, it's just that, did you know moving can be one of life's most stressful experiences. I mean its right up there with losing a loved one and listening to Ben eat.Jason: Ok Mike, what's this all about?Mike: The truth?Jason: Well yeah, after twenty years, that would be a refreshing change.Mike: Ok dad, the truth is, that with you and mom moving to Washington, I don't know what is going to happen to me.Jason: I didn't know you felt that way.Mike: Yeah well neither did I until I found myself proposing to Kate.Jason: You proposed Mike? Hey congratulations…Mike: She turned me down. I guess the woman is allergic to cooking and cleaning.Jason: You mentioned cooking and cleaning in a proposal?Mike: That's not the only thing I said dad, I mean I also covered love and rent.Jason: Well you can't get married out of convenience.Mike: Why not?Jason: Because marriage is not about convenience Mike, it's about compromise. Look at me, I m moving my practice to Washington.Mike: You are moving all your nut-cases to Washington?Jason: No there are plenty of nut-cases in Washington, and they are not nut-cases Mike. Oh hey, it's just that when I heard about the move, I said forget it. But the thing about a relationship is that sometimes you have to consider another person's needs before your own, put yours on hold.Mike: Dad, that's exactly what I ask Kate to do and she said no.Jason: What I meant was maybe you could put Kate's needs first. But don't let us moving to Washington throw you into a panic Mike. You're going to be able to fend for yourself. You have grown up.Mike: I have?Jason: Oh yeah, you are ready fo r responsibility now, total re…Jason: Ok look, here is the deal. I will give you a little more freedom; you've got to promise me a lot more responsibility.Mike: Hey, no problem dad, I swear, I am ready for total responsibility.Jason: Mike, I'm not ready for total responsibility.Jason: Some responsibility.Mike: I hear you dad, I am going to take responsibility for my life. And I am going to start be apologizing to Kate. I just wish I knew the right way to do it.Jason: Well if you don't mind me saying so, I think the best way to a women's heart is sincerity. And if that's not working try a little gift.Mike: Candy gram.Kate: Mike is that you?Mike: No, it is a hundred and fifty pound Bon-Bon. Unwrap me.Kate: Pass.Mike: Well then at least read the card.Kate: I heard everything you had to say this morning.Mike: Kate, come on, it's hot in here. I blacked out twice already. For you.Kate: Thank you.Mike: I had candles going, but I singed my hair.Kate: I've got something on the stove, excuse me.Mike: Kate, look I am sorry about this morning. Kate, it's just that with my folks moving to Washington I went temporarily insane. Asking you to marry me was just a knee jerk reaction. Kate: You got it half right.Mike: Kate what I am trying to say is I am selfish and immature and thoughtless and rude and spoiled and….stop me any time here.Kate: I will when I disagree.Mike: Kate, I am asking you to marry me.Kate: Again?Mike: Yes, when the time is right.Kate: Huh?Mike: Well first, I want to finish school and start a career, so that I can give you the life that you deserve. So will you marry me, someday?Kate: Maybe, ask me someday.Mike: Hey, be careful you going to crush my packing peanuts.Mike: Hey Carol, Carol what are you doing?Carol: Just looking, thinking; seems so weird to think soon I won't be welcome in this house. Mike: Well, it seems like you should be use to that by now. Sorry, it's on auto pilot.Carol: We haven't had the greatest relationship, have we?Mike: Oh I don't know why you say that.Mike: Hello. Hey! Aw! Hey, that hurt!Carol: Hello. Oh, hi Bobby, lucky you caught me, I was just headed out the door.Mike: Well, at least we won't be living under the same roof, at each other's throats all the time. Carol: Yeah, I mean what a relief, after twenty-one years together we need a break.Mike: Wow, twenty-one years.Carol: Yeah.Mike: You have always been obnoxious.Jason: Mike, read this line.Mike: I hate this book.Jason: Oh, how do you know? You haven't even read it.Mike: I heard about it I'll just wait for the movie.Jason: Mikey.Mike: Ok, ok. Don't help me.Carol: (reading) "See Spot run said Dick. Run, run, run. See him wag his tail."Maggie: I heard her, she can read. Four years old and she can read.Jason: It's a mericcall.Maggie: Oh, it's fantastic!Jason: Our little genius.Maggie: Oh, I'm got to go call mom and dad.Jason: I'll get the paper for her.Carol: Turn the page; I want to see how it comes out.Mike: You have always got me make me look bad don't you?Carol: Yeah.Mike: Big deal, so what if you can read, it doesn't mean nothing.Carol: Sure it does, it means I'm smart and your stupid.Mike: Oh yeah?Carol: Yeah, you're never even going to graduate.Mike: I bet you fifty bucks I do.Carol: Ok, sucker.Mike: What does graduate mean?Mike: Well, I graduated didn't I?Carol: Yeah, and you were smart enough to stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life. Mike: What are you talking about? You're still dating Dwight.Carol: No, I was talking about the time I wanted to get a nose job.Carol: If you think I'm even aware that you have been calling me funny looking for the past all my life, your crazy.Mike: Carol: why would you even listen to me? Come on, you know, you're my sister and I m suppose to call you ugly. That's my job.Carol: What, now I suppose your going to say you didn't mean it.Mike: Look, look did you mean it all those times you call me so incredibly stupid? All right, all right bad example. But Carol, come on, this is brother and sister stuff here, you know? Look, I mean Eddie calls his sister ugly, Bonner thinks his sister is uglyCarol: Bonner's sister is ugly.Mike: That's not the point Carol. The point is you're not ugly, I mean as a matter of fact in the lastcouple of years you're looking kind of, you have been getting better looking.Carol: Oh sure.Mike: Carol this is tough for me all right? Look, I mean, I have seen the way guys look at you, I know that look.Carol: Yeah?Mike: Yeah, I mean, you know and when your friends look at your sister that way it's kind of weird.Carol: So you are saying I'm?Mike: (mumbles).Carol: What?Mike: Pretty. I said I think you are kind of pretty.Carol: Wow, you think I'm pretty.Mike: Yeah, look, and if you have any sensitivity at all you will never ever tell anyone I said you weren't a bow-wow.Mike: You know Carol, I have been thinking, I mean after twenty-one years of my zingers you shouldn't just have to quit cold turkey.Carol: What?Mike: Well, I think we should get together every once in a while. Just to make sure that you don't start getting the idea that you are normal of anything.Carol: You would do that for me?Mike: Sure.Carol: Jerk.Mike: Geek.Maggie: Ok for our last meal we will pretend that this is an eloquent banquette with a make-believe table.Carol: Make-believe chairs.Jason: And make-believe food. Where are those guys?Carol: It's about time.Mike: Hey, pizza guy.Maggie: Good I'm starving.Chrissy: Oh good, food.Carol: I can't believe we are actually leaving.Maggie: I know, do you believe that this is the last meal we will ever have in this house?Carol: That's right, sharing stale pizza, smelling Ben.Ben: Is it too late to sell her with the house?Jason: It's amazing that this house has survived four Seaver children.Maggie: I'll remember this as the house my babies grew up in.Jason: Well they sure were cute as little kids. And they grow up.Mike: Why are you look at me?Jason: Well, he is the only guy we have ever heard of who could pull off scams in two cities at the same time. Remember the time you snuck off to California, you left Ben and Carol to cover for you?Carol: Mike?Mike: I was in here first dog breath.Maggie: Mike, don't call your sister names.Mike: All right.Carol: Mom he has been in there all morning and he says he is going to stay in through breakfast. Maggie: Mike, you don't want breakfast?Mike: No breakfast this morning mom.Maggie: What are you doing in there?Mike: Whatever it is it sure smells good.Maggie: What?Carol: Ah, what do you know Ben; the telephone is ringing at 7:59 exactly.Ben: Oh.Maggie: Carol?Carol: I got it. Hello.Mike: Yeah, I am really enjoying my five hours here in Denver. Why am I whispering?Carol: Mike telephone!Mike: I'll take it upstairs.Maggie: Carol, who is on the phone?Carol: Mike. Umm... and Bonner, he is calling over to Bonner's house.Jason: Wait a minute. Mike?Mike: Oh, dad!Jason: You're not going anywhere Mr. 'Mike: I'm not?Ben: Who is dad talking to?Maggie: Mike.Ben: Bye.Jason: Don't worry, he I not taking off until he does his share of the shoveling.Mike: Well dad that is going to be a little tough.Jason: Mike I want to see you outside in five minutes no excuses. Say goodbye Bonner.Mike: Uh, goodbye Dr. Seaver.Mike: Hey look, I am not the only con artist in this house. How about Benny here, he started to get through more that I did.Ben: Hello God.Mike: What are you doing?Ben: I happen to be praying for money.Mike: Ben you can't pray for money, believe me I have tried. You actually think God is going to send you a check or something?Ben: Amen.Woman: Money for the needy.Ben: Thanks.Ben: Come on, let's not forget about Carol.Carol: Me? I have never pulled a scam in my life.Maggie: Oh, what about the time you tried to fool that recruiter from Boston College.Jason: And Mike pulled in some bum off the street to play me, in a challenging dual role. Recruiter: I'm sorry your wife won't be joining us this evening.Bum: Oh yes, I am sick about the fact that Mickey can't be here.Recruiter: Isn't it Maggie?Bum: Yeah, Mickey is just my pet name for her when we are in the sack.Recruiter: Well Carol, let me begin by saying that your high school grades are nothing short of spectacular.Carol: Thank you.Mike: Yeah, and can you believe he got those straight A's after missing six whole months because of reform school.Recruiter: Reform school?Carol: Little misunderstanding over a knife.Bum: We are damn proud of the little slut.Carol: Ok, so one little scam no one got hurt.Chrissy: I have never done stuff like that I have always been a perfect angel.Maggie: Oh, well what about the time you threw that tantrum because you thought we were all playing around after you went to bed?Carol: Yeah?Chrissy: Can I help it if I have a health imagination?Chrissy: Its not fair, how come I have to go to bed and everyone else gets to stay up and have fun.I hear you laughing; I know what you do, wait around till Chrissy goes to bed and then party, party, party.Jason: Well I guess Chrissy must be asleep by now.Maggie: What do you want to do tonight?Jason: Oh, I don't know. Want to play Barbie's?Maggie: Kate, Mike we are going to play Barbie's, do you want to join us?Leonardo: I got to go, Chrissy's asleep and the fun is starting!Maggie: Boys, boys, if you are going to jump on the sofa you have got to jump harder, the springs need the action!Mike: Where did you get these? They are gorgeous!Jason: Santa Clause brought them! Just waiting for a special occasion.Maggie: I want to play something else. I know tea party!Kate: I want to play dress up!Leonardo: Oh, rump rope, jump rope!Jason: We have time for everything, we have all night.Maggie: Who wants cavities? Ok, I brought you some vegetables.Mike: Oh mom, are you crazy?Kate: Not for eating, for throwing.Carol: Hey are you guys playing without Chrissy again?Everyone: Yeah!!Carol: Great because look what I brought! Pony rides for everyone!Jason: Well I don't mean to break up the fun, but we have got a long drive to Washington. Guess we had better hit the road.Mike: Yeah I have got to go break in my new landlord.Carol: Dwight is driving me to my dorm.Chrissy: Can't we stay and see what the new people look like?Ben: I'd rather not know.Carol: Me either.Maggie: Oh come on, we had better get moving. Carol: Goodbye.。
成长的烦恼6季剧本(中英对照)a002
602 远走高飞他就这么走了，这个没出息的不孝的我的儿子走了，我的长子，我的小Jason，不，该把小字去掉。
我想要上这个学校。
Phillip Boynton中立师范学院？说得对。
Michael Seaver。
Seaver先生，请你大致谈谈最近演过些什么戏好吗？就在昨天我使我父母相信了，我已经放弃了表演。
你欺骗了我们。
这么说你根本就不想上Boynton学院？说得对。
这么跟你说吧，你要住这房子吗？你要吃Seaver家的饭吗？那你就得继续念书当个学生，你去哪学我不并在乎。
你的意思是，如果我不按你的意思去做，就得让我搬出去。
不，这话是你自己说的。
可为什么？你来回答我吧，我是要你住在这儿的。
我也想住爸爸，那，那我们俩还吵什么？我们不再吵了，明早听你的决定？Jason！ Jason！嗨怎么？叫Mike抓紧点，他的早饭凉了，孩子们吃早饭了。
哦天呐！我怎么去对Maggie说，瞧她穿着粉红的睡袍，不慌不忙的，还打着鸡蛋，天呐！真性感。
不对，不对，我已经跑题了，我怎么对她说呢？Jason你要干嘛？我要抱我的爱人，这不仅因为你漂亮Maggie，还因为咱俩在一块能正视发生的一切，包括Mike的出走。
Mike出走了？这个。
哦！肯定是你逼的，你那种愚蠢的唠叨，把我们的大儿子逼走了。
记住亲爱的，重要的是咱俩的爱情能继续存在。
也许我太多虑了，她是个大人，她会理解的。
听着Maggie！把打蛋器放下。
你说什么？我有一个坏消息，Mike他出走了。
哦！那很好。
你一点都不担心？那有什么？再生他几个，其实我现在就想再生一个。
好样的，我该怎么办？我就走进去鼓起勇气，哦上天，勇敢点。
快叫Mike下来，不然的话，他的蛋要煎老了。
得了，Mike今天不吃早饭了。
你是否想用饥饿来制服他。
他出走了？什么？走了、跑了，他的车、他的衣服，一切全都带走了，他去演那该死的戏了。
哦！我不相信，说不定他又在搞什么鬼。
亲爱的！他连卫生纸都带走了。
我的孩子，我还以为你说服了他，问题全都解决了呢。
成长的烦恼第七季3
Mike: Ah… Mr. Brower.Luke: Sorry I'm late Mr. SeaverMike: That's the third time in a row Luke, maybe I should call 555-Deli and leave a wake up call? Luke: Don't worry I only sleep in classMike: Hello, So ho Pete's? This is Francis X. Tedesco and I need to speak with one of your employees Luke Brower. I think he's a waiter, well maybe a bus boy. Y ou sure? Ok thank you. That's funny they never heard of him.Mr.Tedesco: Neither have we, I just tried to pull his file, there isn't one.Mike: His file is missing?Mr. Tedesco: No, Luke Brower does not exist.Mike: Thank you. Luke I can't believe you're living here.Luke: Well, I am.Mike: Well I don't get it, what about your parents!??Luke: I don't have any and I don't need them. I am doing fine right here.Mike: Luke, there's got to be some place better than this!!??Luke: Yeah Yeah, Like where?Mike: Like Like, some sort of city outreach sort of nice, happy place!!??Luke: I've tried all the happy places, this is better.Mike: We have a homeless boy living here!!!Mr. Tedesco: What!!?? This is a school, we can't have kids here!!! I'll call the bureau of child welfare.Mike: I can't let you live on a street like this!!Luke: Oh you can't let me!!?? Well this morning I wasn't on the street. I had a place to sleep and a place to eat and a promising academic career. Now thanks to you I'm a homeless hungry dropout. Who are you? Charles Keeting!Luke: Are you sure this is ok?Mike: Y eah yeah, you can sleep in my sister's room. Don't worry it's fine she's away at college and you can talk to my dad in the morning.Luke: I don't know,.Mike: Stop worrying, it's fine just go on upstairs, first door on the right and uhh… Sometimes she keeps this umm... big stuffed dog on her bed just shove it off and hop in.Luke: Ok, goodnight.Mike: Oh no! I missed dinner! Kate's going to kill me! Well at least nothing else can go wrong tonight.Carol: Ah!!Mike: Oh Luke! Is your neck still bothering you? Oh Listen, you shouldn't have slept on the floor, you had the water bed.Luke: Nah I didn't want to sleep in a bed that might wet me.Mike: What do you say I make up for it with one of Michael Seaver's super duper homemade breakfasts?Luke: Great!Mike: Ok! What do we have marshmallow Twinkle or Mr. Smackie's Peanut Logs?Luke: Well I was kind of hoping for something hot.Mike: Well you can heat up with peanut logs but they'll burn the roof of your mouth. Ok I'll cook something.Luke: How about pancakes?Mike: Ok, we'll go out.Luke: Well you got everything you need right here: flour, oil and eggs.Mike: Wow, how did you learn how to make pancakes?Luke: Till I was ten years old I used to help my mother cook at a lumber camp in Oregon. Mike: Really?Luke: Yep! When you got 68 men with chainsaws you better learn to watch you fly boy.Mike: Listen Luke, why don't you just stay here for a while?Luke: Huh?Mike: Well you being out on the street and everything, it's kind of my fault.Luke: Well I wouldn't say that…Mike: Really!?Luke: It's totally your fault, but there's no way your parents will ever let me stay here.Mike: My parents!!? Luke Luke Luke, see this? This is the finger I have them wrapped around and I got nine more on standby. If I say you're staying, your staying.Maggie: I don't care what you say, he's not staying.Mike: But, why!!??Maggie: Mike, this isn't like bringing home a stray puppy. This Luke could be dangerous, he could be a thief and we do have a five year old.Jason: Y our mom has a point Mike, we've got to think of Chrissy.Mike: Mom, he's not dangerous, he's my best student! Ok and he's never stolen a thing except for food, clothes and home box office.Jason: Mike all we're saying is…. He gets cable for free!??Maggie: Jason stay focused. Mike you have no right!Mike: Mom, I think you are being selfish.Maggie: Selfish!!?? Y ou're being naïve.Jason: Mike, Maggie, wait a minute. Let's keep our emotions in check here.Carol: Mike you slime bucket, of all the dumb things you've done, this is the dumbest.Ben: Give it to him!Carol: First you bring a complete stranger into our house.Ben: Y our bed.Carol: And then you send him into my bed.Ben: Occupied.Carol: That's right! Why I'm minding my own stinking business!Ben: Bring it home baby.Carol: What you have done is so low and despicable that even your apprentice slime ball here agrees with me.Ben: No I don't.Carol: Y ou don't? Then why have you been agreeing with me all morning?Ben: I just want to see you get so mad that you flick foam from the corners of your mouth. Carol: Y ou snake! Y ou scuzzwad! Y ou slimy sniggley slime bucket!Ben: There it is! Y es! Mission control we have achieved foam!Jason: Stop torturing your sister. Carol wipe your mouth.Carol: Mom, Dad, I demand a family conference.Maggie: Carol that is an excellent suggestion. Would you and Ben please leave the room? Carol: But it was my idea!!??Jason: Y es it was a good one sweetheart, now get out! Ok Mike, Maggie, I think we owe Mike a chance to explain himself before we give him our arbitrary refusal.Mike: Thank you!Maggie: Alright.Mike: Now can Luke stay!?Maggie: No Chance.Mike: Dad!Jason: Wait wait, what your mother is saying is we realize that Luke is a needy guy.Mike: Y es!Jason: And yes we do have a lot to share and yes carol is off to her dorm so we do have an extra room. What was the problem Maggie?Maggie: Jason he can't stay here.Mike: Ok Fine! Can't stay here，where？Jason: Foster home, I've consulted the bureau of child welfare Mike, I can help him get a great one, it will just take a little time. Meanwhile he can stay at a facility called Paton Hall, now I know it's not perfect.Mike: Not pefect!!?? Dad, that place has gang members and drug addicts and that's the honours program.Jason: He does have a point Maggie, that place can be real rough.Maggie: Jason…Jason: Well he's just gonna have to suck it up.Maggie: Mike, we all feel sorry for Luke, but life isn't always fair. There are some things we can't fix.Jason: I'll get him out of Paton Hall and into a foster home as soon as I can Mike. That's the best we can do.Mike: Luke! Hey, you remember my folks.Jason: Hi Luke.Mike: Uhh…Listen Luke, we've b ee talking things over and well just to lay it out there for you. Uhh.. .Dad.Jason: Well Luke, what Mike's trying to say is that we completely understand your situation and we sympathize and so uh… Maggie.Maggie: Y ou can stay with us!!Carol: Now if you are going to be using my room for awhile, you need to know some of the ground rules. Number one, don't let Ben touch fluffy things. Number two, don't let Ben touch anything else.Luke: Got it.Carol: Ok, now the closet. Y ou can use this half but make sure your clothes don't crowd mine. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how easily linen wrinkles.Luke: It's a stinking crime! That's why I pick one look and stick with it all year long.Carol: I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. How do you stay warm in the winter?Luke: Oh, no problem in Jamaica man.Carol: Jamaica?Luke: Yeah I grew up there, I go back there every winter, I use to work as a cook at a plantation. Carol: That must be a tough job.Luke: All I can say is when you got to cook macaroons for 68 sweaty men with machetes you better learn to watch your coconuts.Ben: Hey Luke! Mike and I thought you might need some extra clothes while you're here. Luke: Jeans, T-shirts and a bra??Ben: Actually this is Carol's, mom just washed it.Carol: Great, now it needs to be washed again.Ben: She's gone?Luke: Yeah why?Ben: A www. FluffyLuke: I don't think she wants you doing that.Ben: I know, that's why I do it. I don't know how she knows, but it drives her nuts. Hey Flufster, it's time to smell uncle Benny's armpit. How can you sleep in here with all this girly stuff? Luke: I'm happy to have a bed at all, I'm use to sleeping in storerooms and movie theatres.Ben: Movie theatres!!?? Doesn't that get expensive??Luke: Not if you sneak in.Ben: Sneak in??Luke: Y up, I've got a surefire system where the theatre manager ushers me in, holds the door open and calls me sir.Ben: Really!? Luke this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.Jason: Mike!! Hey Mike!!Carol: Dad, every Saturday you come out here and yell for Mike to come out and wash the car and you end up washing it yourself. Obviously yelling is a waste of time.Jason: Fine, you wash the car.Carol: Mike!!! Mike!!!!Luke: Is something wrong??Jason: Just trying to get Mike to wash the car.Luke: I'll do it.Carol: Oh well, there, that's resolved.Jason: No No, Mike should do it, it's a big job.Luke: Not for me, I use to wash airplanes for barnstormers, I grew up next to an airfield. Jason: Barnstormers in Manhattan?Luke: South Dakota, the golden eagles. I remember one time for my birthday, they took me up with them and spun me around until I lost my lunch. God I love those guys.Jason: No wonder the planes needed so much washing. No Luke listen, put that down this is Mike's job, he will do it, it's been Mike's job for 11 years and I want to live long enough just to see him do it once. Mike!!! Mike!!!Mike: Hey Luke! Hey hey hey!! What the heck are you doing!!??Luke: I'm washing your dad's car.Mike: No Luke, you don't have to do chores, just cause my dad asks you to.Luke: Well he didn't ask me, I just volunteered.Mike: Y ou volunteered!!?? Luke, no no no. Y es maybe that's the way you do it on the streets, but this is suburbia nobody does anything for anybody.Luke: Well he was upset, he was yelling!Mike: Y elling is nothing! Believe me, you don't have to worry about my dad until his nostrils flare and that view over his left eye brow starts to throb, after that he makes Freddy Kruger look like a guy with press on nails.Jason: This is really reprehensible, this is your job, this is your guest and that is… Holy smokes!! We got White one.Mike: Y ou want me to take over dad?Jason: No!Maggie: No kidding you use to work on a dude ranch?Luke: When you cook for 68 burly men with lassos you learn to watch your biscuits.Maggie: That's funny I could have sworn there was a bottle of wine in there. Oh Jason must have finished it. It's ok there's plenty more.Luke: Wow, that's a lot of wine.Maggie: Yeah, Jason started collecting, he really likes his wine.Chrissy: Y o! Luke, I want to introduce you to a friend. Barbie!Luke: Well, pleased to meet you Barbie, does she have a last name?Chrissy: Doll! She wants to invite you over to her dream house for tea.Luke: Well, I never turn donw an invitation from a beautiful woman.Chrissy: She's got a boyfriend. But I can stuff them into drawer.Jason: Hey Mike I had a folder in there of confidential applications for Luke's foster family, have you seen it?Mike: Uhh..no... I haven't seen it dad I don't know anything about it. I was just sitting here watching the game on TV.Jason: Wouldn't it be better if the se were on?Mike: Uh no. The game was blacked out.Jason: Folder.Mike: Ok, but dad just for the record, I didn't look at a thing, but forget about that couple from Brooklyn. I don't want Luke being raised by people who drag their knuckles on the ground. Jason: Mike.Mike: Dad, I'm sorry but Luke's just had a tough life and I want to make sure he's around people that are about him.Jason: I know that.Mike: In a good neigbourhood with a good school and room of his own, private entrance and satellite dish.Jason: Silly me, all this time I've been looking for a stable loving family with high morale character, when I should have been looking for someone with a video arcade and a weight room. Mike: Now you're talking.Carol: Thanks for letting me do my laundry here mom. The laundry room in the dorm has become a real meat market pick up place.Maggie: How does anyone get their wash done?Carol: Don't ask me, I'm still on the waiting list!Maggie: Uhh... Sweetheart will you take out the trash?Chrissy: No problem!Jason: Hey anybody seen Luke? That station wagon is kind of looking grungy.Maggie: He went out with Mike to check out neighbourhoods for foster homes. I odn't know where they went but Mike said something about knuckles dragging.Jason: Oh, Brooklyn. Got to hand it to Mike though, he's really serious about finding Luke a good home.Maggie: Well I know ever since he brought Luke here, he's been mature, responsible, caring. Jason: Kind of gives you the creeps doesn't it?Maggie: Y ou know this is too much, I know I put a bottle of wine in there.Jason: There's more in the cabinet.Maggie: Wanna bet?Jason: That's impossible, the last time I looked there were fifteen bottles in there.Chrissy: People, people, people. How many times do I have to tell you about recycling? Maggie: In a minute honey.Chrissy: Mom, look somebody put glass into regular garbage.Maggie: Jason, the wine bottles.Jason: Who could have?Maggie: Oh my god!Jason: I can't believe it.Maggie: Me neither, it's incredible.Chrissy: Hey get a grip, there just bottles. I'll sort them myself.Maggie: Y ou do that honey.Jason: Well let's not jump to any conclusions here, we don't know for sure that it was Luke. Carol: Luke!!? He couldn't have done it.Maggie: I agree, he's a responsible kid. After all he spent his entire childhood cooking for a dude ranch.Jason: No he didn't. He spent his childhood hanging out with barnstormers.Maggie: Barnstormers?Jason: The Golden Eagles. They use to make him throw up, he loved those guys.Carol: Will you two listen to yourselves? Barnstormers!?? Dude Ranch!?? I mean how gullible can you be?Maggie: I suppose you know the real story.Carol: Y es, he grew up on a plantation in Jamaica with big guys and coconuts. That lying pig dog stole your wine.Ben: This is it, Luke said nothing could go wrong as long as I stayed calm. Ok pick up a ticket stub without drawing attention to yourself. Ok theatre 5, you're home free.Guard: Hold it there you little nose wipe.Ben: Red alert, damage control, show him the stub. Show him the stub! Uhh excuse me sir, umm I just came out of theatre 5 and I left my wallet in there.Guard: Y our wallet!??Ben: Y eah it must have slipped out of my pocket when I stood up to let those nuns take their seats. Guard: There were nuns watching "When Stewardesses go Bad"!!?Ben: Well they left early. If you just let me go in, I'll grab my wallet and I'll be out of there before the next show at 3:15.Guard: Ok, but go straight in and come straight out.Ben: Y es sir, thank you sir. Touch down. Now go directly into the theatre stopping for nothing. Guard: Found your wallet I see?Ben: Uhh Y eah.. Well this is just my regular wallet, that was my lucky wallet.Guard: Oh….Ben: Good thinking, he's buying it.Mike: Mom, Dad, Just for the record everyone in Brooklyn walked upright.Luke: There was even this great park and look at what Mike bought me?Mike: Ok guys, check this out, Luke throw it to dad.Mike: Can you believe that dad?? Before this morning he never threw a spiral in his life. Dan Marino watch out!Jason: Alright that's good. Luke why don't you go upstairs and wash for dinner ok??Luke: Sure, Doctor Seaver.Mike: See ya. A ww…Is he a great kid or what huh dad?Jason: Y eah Y eah, but umm something's happened with Luke and we don't think we will be able to find him a foster home.Mike: What!!?Maggie: And we don't think he should stay in our home either.Mike: What are you guys talking about!??Maggie: Well we found a lot of empty wine bottles in the trash and we know neither of us drank them.Mike: Y ou don't think Luke drank them!?Jason: He needs more help then we can give him, he should be in an alcohol treatment program. Maggie: And we have to think about Ben and Chrissy. Like her or not, Luke will influence on them.Mike: I'm sorry, I'm not bet this, I mean Luke, if Luke try alcohol, he would be plastered all the time. Have you ever seen him drunk?? Or even hung over!!?Maggie: Well no.Mike: Well neither have I. Have you ever smelled alcohol in his breath?Jason: No, but uhh umm... Look I don't have all the answers either Mike.Mike: Show me one kid in this family that he's had a bad influence on.Man: This nose wipe claims to live here. We caught him sneaking into the Masapika Multiplex. Maggie: Ben Seaver where did you get an idea like that?Ben: Nothing can make me talk.Maggie: Y oung man!Ben: It was Luke.Jason: It's alright we will take it from here, your majesty.Mike: Hey Luke, what are you doing?Luke: Oh, packing, I got the picture that my lease was up so I'm taking 2 pairs of socks and 1 pair of underwear. Mind if I keep the football?Jason: Luke we have to clear something up.Luke: Fine, I'll leave the football.Jason: No that's not it, we found some empty wine bottles in the trash.Luke: So?Maggie: Luke we want to help, we know you're drinking.Luke: Me!!?? I wouldn't touch that poison!!Maggie: I'd like to believe you but between barstorming and biscuits. How are we suppose ot know when you're telling the truth?Luke: Doesn't matter what I say, you guys have your minds all made up.Mike: Not all of us, alright you just tell me you didn't take that wine and I'll believe you. Luke tell me.Luke: I'm out of here.Mike: Oh, Luke.Jason: Wait a second, Y ou need help, there are programs for teens who drink.Luke: So go find a teen who drinks.Mike: Luke, don't you know how bad that stuff is for you!!? Do you have any idea what alcohol does to your internal organs!?? Y ou liver, your heart and whatever else is in there. Come on man, don't you know that booze can kill you!!??Luke: Leave me alone, you can't tell me anything about booze I don't know. It makes you stupid, it makes you sick, it makes you forget, makes you hate people, makes you afraid to come home at night.Jason: What!!?Luke: Makes you afraid to ask a question or make a noise. Get a glass of water, do anything will make a man mad when he's drunk.Mike: Who's drunk!!? Nobody here is drunk.Jason: No, he's not talking about us Mike, are you Luke hmm? Who gets drunk? Y our father? Luke: He left when I was 2.Jason: Who are you afraid of when they drink?Luke: My step father, I liked him at first, he as fine when he was sober, like you. He even bought me an ice cream once. But boy when he had a few belts in him, he was a different guy. Mean, anything would set him off.Jason: Did he beat you?Luke: Y eah, mom tried to stop him, but he beat her too. After she died, he started drinking all the time. He didn't care how much he hurt me, one night he came after me with a baseball bat. If I hadn't run, he would have killed me.Maggie: Oh my god!Luke: I tell you it's the liquor that does it to him, it does it to everybody, its poison!!Jason: Y ou didn't want that to happen again did you?Luke: No!!Jason: Y ou took our wine?Luke: YES!!Jason: But you didn't drink it??Luke: I poured it down the drain!!! Every damn drop of it!!!Jason: Cause you didn't want anyone to get hurt like you got hurt.Maggie: It's alright, everything going to be alright.Mike: So Luke Thought.Jason: Thought that drinking would turn me into his step father.Mike: Oh hey Luke, it's gonna be alright buddy. My dad has a glass of wine every now and then but he never loses control.Luke: Why'd you say when he was mad, he was worse than Freddy Kruger!??Mike: Uhhh, I was kidding, no he never hurt anybody.Jason: Y ou might find this hard to believe but there are places you will be safe you know? Here for instance.Luke: Y ou mean you aren't kicking me out!!?Maggie: Y ou can stay with us for as long as it takes to find a good home but we need to trust each other ok?Luke: Ok.Jason: No more lies about barnstormers and coconuts.Maggie: Right, you don't need to tell stories in this house to be liked.Ben: Mom, Dad, I want to come clean with the truth. I was taken hostage by a group of space aliens, they said if I didn't help them sneak into the movies, they would blow up Long Island.。
成长的烦恼第七季13
Maggie: Hey are you sure you and Mike can't stay for dinner? I'm making a figment: Lettuce! Kate: That's really sweet Mrs Siever but Mike and I have tickets to the Nut Cracker tonight. Maggie: The Ballet? Does Mike know they don't sell peanuts and you can't do the wave? Jason: Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, ho ho ho. Guess what they've got down at Mary's Trees Trees Trees.Maggie: I have to go trees?Jason: They're better than any trees, these are twelve-foot noble firs, for only eight dollars. Maggie: Eight dollars?Jason: Well, previously owned.Maggie: Jason we are not gonna get a big tree this year because you know how you get when you decorate it.Jason: Jolly?Maggie: Ho-ho-homicidal! Having everything your way! So this year we're gonna try something new.Jason: Maggie, that's not a tree, that's Parsley!Chrissy: Does a little tree mean little presents?Maggie: Ho sweetheart, you know how much you care about saving the Earth? Well, after Christmas we can plant this tree and save it, too.Chrissy: All year long, I care about Earth. At Christmas, I care about numero uno!Mike: Ok, Katie, you ready to see the Nut Cracker?Jason: Mike, you're going to the Ballet?Mike: It's a ballet?Carol: Yes, I am upset, and do you know why? Dwight Halliburton has just stood me up! Carol: I trusted him and now my heart is cleft in twain.Mike: Well I hope your twain will be leaving soon on a very long twip.Kate: Mike, how could you do that to her when she is so upset?Mike: Oh, Kate, she's just always like that. It's just who she is: Carol-yes-I-am-upset-Siever! Kate: Well, could not you go and talk to her? For me?Mike: Wa-el, okay.Jason: Ouh, that boy is sm-itt-en!Maggie: That boy is wh-ipp-ed!Mike: Hey Carol, what are you doing?Carol: Alphabetizing the bookshelf! I'd ask you for help but I'm too busy to train you.Mike: I realize you don't wanna tell me about your stupid problem right?Carol: Dwight has a new research assistant named: Felicia.Mike: I guess you do.Carol: And tonight we had tickets to see Istvam Penderecki.Mike: Istvam who?Carol: He's a performance artist who screams obscenities at the audience while setting his hair on fire. That's his Christmas showCarol: Does not matter because he won't be going anywhere because I hate Dwight Halliburton before he even loses over!Carol: Dwight baby, come home to Mama! Sorry Sir! Kate, telephone!Kate: Thanks.Mike: Carol you know what your problem is?Carol: You and I both come from the same loin?Mike: No, you get involved with people who make you jealous!Carol: Everybody gets jealous.Mike: Not me, because I know how to pick that woman I can count on, you don't see Kate standing me up do ya?Kate: Mike?!! Great news! I believe…Mike: Huh?Kate: It was my agent! I have been picked in the Sporting Man swimsuit edition. We shoot in Jamaica, next week. So I have to get fitted for my suit right away.Mike: But Kate, ah, I was so looking forward to going to the Ballet?Kate: Oooh, (smooch) I'll make it up to you.Carol: It's A, B…Mike: Anybody still interested in a couple of tickets to the Nut Cracker?Chrissy: I am I am!Mike: Ok, fifty bucks.Jason: What about Kate?Mike: Oh she had to leave. Her agent called; She got a job in the swimsuit edition of the Sporting Man.Ben: The issue I live and die for?Luke: Babes and postage stamp screen bikinis.Jason: Boys, oh girl, I wanted to meet her last year, haha, I did. Chrissy, you wanna go to the Nut Cracker with your old man?Chrissy: Yeah.Jason: Okay.Luke: So, uh, when is Kate doing this bikini shoot?Mike: That' s next week in Jamaica.Ben: Oh, I love to be the photographer on that job. I mean one guy all those babes?Luke: Well, um, forget that! I'd love to be the guy who rubs on the coco butter!Ben: Forget that, I'd love to be the coco butter!Mike: Hey, why do not you guys run a roll in the snow? Well, that's no ordinary photo shoot. Ben: Yeah, maybe, but if Kate was my girlfriend I sure would not let her go to Jamaica. Maggie: Ben, your brother trusts Kate.Mike: Yeah!Maggie: I am appalled of you two. Kate's a professional. Now she can stand in the sun all oiled up in the briefest of bikinis, having her picture taken by some jet-set photographer without anything untoward happening. I am glad that at least Mike knows that.Francis: When I was seventeen, it was a very good year…. What are you doing here?Mike: You sent for me.Francis: Ah, I understand you volunteered to drive the bus for this year's Christmas tree cutting trip?Mike: Yeah, I thought it might be a nice chance for some inner city kid to experience Christmas.You know the snow, the silver bells, the mistletoe.Francis: Forget that. Think Nunez with a Chainsaw! Siever, you don't have the seniority to do this on your own. If you insist on taking them on this trip, I'll be forced to go ith you.Mike: Great, the more the merrier.Francis: Siever, have I ever done you any harm?Mike: Look, Mr. Tedesco, I'll level with ya, I need to find something to do this week while my girlfriend is outta town, see she is a model, and she is gonna be in Jamaica doing the swimsuit issue of the Sporting Man.Francis: See, let me give some unsolicited advice: Catch the next thing smoking to Jamaica. Mike: Well, Mr. Tedesco, Kate and I trust each other okay? We're in love!Francis: Don't you know love is a state of insanity?? I myself married Mrs Tedesco because she had a body that would not stop. Shortly after I married her, it stopped…..Love!... Makes your judgement take a holiday. You, you think you are marrying a goddess; And you wind up with a walking bathrobe that reads the Tinsel town Tattler!Mike: Look, Mr. Tedesco. I am darn sure that I know Kate… pretty well.Francis: But do you know Nigel Done.Mike: No. Who is he?Francis: He is the chief photographer for the Sporting Man. He is an Australian with rugged good looks and an appetite for every lovely model he photographs.Mike: How do you know all this?Francis: I read in the Tattler. "The bathroom can be lonely place…"Jason: Okay son. How does it look now?Ben: Perfect.Jason: Hehehe, aw, come on Ben, it's still crooked! That's at least two degrees off!Ben: Looks straight to me.Jason: Pretty straight does feed the ring here pal...Maggie: How's it going guys?Jason: Hey great, just full of Christmas spirit.Ben: At least it's full of it all right.Maggie: Oh, Jason are you starting it again?Ben: Yeah, but how do you always take this so seriously?Luke: Yeah, Christmas is supposed to be fun.Jason: Luke, Fun does not just happen. Fun is a matter of exacting preparation.All: Oh no.Jason: Yeah but, Christmas is the one time that you want everything to be right. Cuz I know when those stocking are hung at a 42-degree angle and that reed's centered precisely on the door is gonna fill us all with utile joy.Jason: Besides, a sloppy Christmas is nothing more than a ..All: Groundhog Day with Denzel.Chrissy: daddy, loosen up.Jason: I am lose sweetheart, I just have a crooked tree, something's just out of whack here. Uh, I must have the screw loose.Mike: Ooh, lying sonnets… Is it time for da d's Groundhog with Denzel speech?Jason: Yea it is.Mike: (snaps) Ah.Carol: If anyone asked I am off to the library to get a good look at Dwight's hussy new research assistant Felicia.Mike: Aw, Carol, you're gonna spy on somebody outta jealousy? It's completely infantile. Only pathetic fools do that.Carol: So you wanna come?Mike: Alright alright, go check out, check out the invitation, but let me be clear, if she is female, breathing, she is 2 of you.Jason: Why do you need her like that, can't you see she is in pain?Mike: Come on dad, she is jealous over Dwight?? Duke of Dork? Who's gonna be around him? Jason: Felicia might?!! It's only natural, when people work closely together, they become attracted to each other. Right? Researchers and scholars, actors, directors.Mike: Models and photographers?Jason: Exactly! That, that's the hole in my fear, that's eh, the exception.Kate: Ah, isn't this exciting?Mike: Yeah, my first press party! Can I go home now?Mike: Hehehe! Look at the lines in those pants, you think somebody might actually pay money for those babies?Stranger: Tweed jacket? Can you believe he actually paid money for that?Nigel: There you are, Kate, darling!Mike: Darling?Kate: It's the way people talk at these parties.Kate: Nigel Done, this is Mike Siever.(Smooches)Mike: Hello, Darwin? hehehe.Nigel: You are going to look fantastic in this Suit: What do you think?Mike: Kate? Euh...Kate: Mike? All the models are actually wearing suits like these.Mike: Well, other models are jumping off the building, would you do that too?Nigel: Come on angel, let me introduce you to the press. Sorry Mike no boyfriends allowed. Nigel: (posing and mumbling) Baby... Hm. Baby.Jason: Hey, I am ready with my square, I get my plumb line, I get my spirit level, I could use a little help getting the tree straight.Maggie: I have to go scrub the toilets.Ben: I have to get a credit for the science report.Luke: I have to get the script off the whiteboard.Chrissy: I gotta eat some spinach.Jason: Ok then, that's all the more fun for me! Mike, oh, you look like you're ready to go beg some trees. Kate's flagging up ok?Mike: Yeah, yeah, it was fine dad.Jason: Are you alright? Something on your mind?Mike: Oh, well actually yeah.Jason: Oh! Hang on, that order is my last! Uh, I gotta get a broom, just look but don't touch. Don't start with me.Mike: listen Carol, I was wrong.Carol: Why you only do this when they're no witnesses?Mike: No no I mean it. And you have every right in the world to be jealous of Dwight and his assistant Felicia.Carol: I saw Dwight's assistant this afternoon. She's an older woman.Mike: Aw, I am sorry.Carol: No, no, I mean ooold, blue hair, black glasses, get sent movies with half the price.Mike: Oh, obviously something could have happened if she was young and attractive. With all that heat, and the dust, and the glitter, and the glamour and the parties and steel drums pounding? Carol: In the library?Mike: Oh whether it's the library or Jamaica does not matter.Carol: Wait a minute, you are talking about Kate?Mike: Hey hey hey, You leave Kate and Nigel Done out of this.Carol: Nigel Done? This is wonderful. I was always jealous about nothing, and you are jealous about Nigel-tiny-Kangaroo-dance- ur, Done!?Francis: Let's go Siever. You are hustling some kids with chainsaws out there. If you don't hurry, we'll be driving convertibles.Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I can't go.Francis: Your cook stinks in here, absolutely horrid! For a moment out there it sounded as if you said, "I can't go."Mike: I can't.Francis: Nnnno!Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I have gotta go to Jamaica instead.Francis: What??Mike: Look, you're the one who told me to keep tabs on Kate.Francis: You can't do this to me. I need this job till retirement. I have a wife and this pension is really the only thing we have going. I know it's no substitute for Children but we made a decision, I...Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I did not quit. Look, I have gotta go to Jamaica.Francis: Ohhhh. Well, if you must go, do me one favour:Mike: What's that?Francis: Take me with you!Mike: Why am I in Jamaica? I 'm sure everything is fine.Nigel: Okay give it to me baby. That's it, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Okay turn a little more towards me. I love it. I love it. Great. It's happening. Yes, it is.!Mike: Kate!Nigel: Beautiful, alright stand up now. That's it, that's it, okay. Beautiful, beautiful.Yes, it's working. Let me see the back? Okay, I think what you need is …Mike: Don't touch her. Don't you touch her!Mike: Dah! You touched her!Nigel: Okay, whose boyfriend are you?Mike: Kate's!Nigel: Last name, please!Mike: Kate McDonald! Her! You are Kate? But that's okay, I was defending all women!Everywhere! And I am sure she's grateful…Nigel: your Kate's off the shift.Mike: No, no no, you can't do that!Nigel: Already done!Mike: Well, what if I apologize and let you hit me again?Nigel: it's tempting but no thanks. Kate's up the Boot Shacks recovering.Mike: Recovering?Kate: Mike!Mike: Kate!Kate: What are you doing here?Mike: What happened to your leg?Kate: Oh, I got stung by a jellyfish! What happened to your eye?Mike: I, I, forgot to put up my tray table in the upright position.Kate: You won't believe what Nigel did. The minute I got on a plane he made a pass at me. Mike: I knew it, I knew it, that scumbag just made a pass at you. Nothing happened right? Kate: Nothing.Mike: I knew it! I have got the most wonderful girl in the world and nothing could come between us!Model: Nigel sent me over to check if you're all right.Mike: Yeah, she's all right.Model: Not her, golden gloves, you! We don't a stick to put on that but I'll send over for chilled blow-fish. Listen, don't feel bad, you're not the first jealous boyfriend who attacked Nigel. That's why he got his black belt.Kate: You attacked Nigel? This whole time I thought you were handling things. You just did not trust me.Mike: Kate, look I did it for you, I know guys like Nigel.Kate: And you know me better. Mike, I am not the kinda girl who is gonna get involved with sly guys like Nigel Done!Mike: But Kate.Kate: Goodbye Mike.Jason: Oh Christmas tree, o Christmas tree you are standing perpendicularly…Oh you are not one or two degree not most upright! O Christmas tree ? Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree we'll show them all night crazy!All right time to decorate the tree everybody! Seems I am the only one with the Christmas spirit. Maggie: Don't eat your fingers.Luke: Everybody laughing, making decorations, now this is how I always imagined Christmas would be.Chrissy: Ta-da!Maggie: Oh, this is great! Nice plane, let's put it on the tree.All: Ooooh.Maggie: That's the perfect tree…..Carol: Where have you been?Mike: Well, I just spent my last dime to fly over 600 miles to Jamaica, to get dumped by my girlfriend, get punched in the eye.Carol: How lousy a travel agent.Mike: Carol, you were right, I was jealous.Carol: No, you were right, I was jealous.Mike: Of what? I thought Felicia was probably good material.Carol: It was Esther I saw. Felicia is 22. Kind of a good-looking Michelle Fiver.Mike: Probably give a Christmas present early: Kate and I broke up!Carol: Dwight and I did too!Mike: Really? Heh! Love stinks.Carol: Yeah, Pee you!Mike: Yeah, family's all you got.Carol: You bet. Who needs Dwight and Kate when we have each other?Mike: Now you're talking, let's hang out together!Carol: Yeah! We'll go to museums, to operas, whoo! We'll get a house together, and we'll get cats, lotsa cats!Mike: Alright, let's stop and see a movie?Carol: Okay, I'll get the paper.Mike: Ok.Kate: Why…Mike: You know Kate, I was asking myself the same question, why I was an insensitive jealous fool?Kate: Nooo, why can't I stay mad at you?Mike: Uh, what a girl I've got!Mike: From now on, I am gonna trust you at all times!Carol: Ok, Mike, I got the Movie Guy.Mike: Oh beat it, Cat Lady.Carol: What!?? I thought you two were on the rocks.Mike: Carol, does this look like we are on the rocks?Kate: Oh, those are for you?? I found them outside, they were for Carol!Carol: Give me those you Tree Stumb. Listen to this:"Roses are redViolets are blueI fired Felicia,Because I love you!"Signed: Dwight Halliburton, your medieval prince.Carol: Huh! Does not he just send you?Mike: Yeah, right into the parcel of Brawn.Jason: You guys wanna come in to the living room for a bit?Mike: Oh the tree must be ready? Pretend that you like it.Jason: Come on come. Cover your eyes!Mike: Okay, cover your eyes.Jason: Come on, Shhh! Don't wake the elves. Oops.Chrissy: Can we look at our gifts?Jason: No, no, nobody look, I want it to be a surprise, alright, everybody ready? Open Sesame. Maggie: What's the matter you did not finish?Ben: it's probably waiting for the blueprints to get back from the North Pole.Jason: No, I am done, I just thought the rest of you might finish it up without me.Luke: You mean we could decorate your tree any way we want?Jason: Yes, look, its not my tree, it's our tree. I know it is hard to believe sometimes I just get carried away.Maggie: Oh, Jason.Ben: So can we put tinsel on in big handfuls?Jason: If you wish?Chrissy: I can put the candy kings in any crazy place we want?Jason: If the spirit moves you?Luke: And I put the heavy ornaments on top?Jason: No, no, no.Maggie: Ah, no!Jason: Y eah, alright! But…Maggie: Yeah! That's right.。
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Carol: I can tell without seeing them, the new neighbors are stuck up and pretentious.Maggie: Carol, you can't judge them by their car, lots of people have BMW's.Carol: With a bumper sticker that says 'you couldn't afford my other car either'.Maggie: Honey as you get older you'll realize you can't make snap judgments about people. Jason: Well I just met the jerks next door.Maggie: Jason you've only been out there three minutes.Jason: Yes Maggie and in that time the CreedMoors' manage to tell me their net worth that they were personal friends of Donny Trump, and when I mentioned I was a psychiatrist, they wanted me to drop everything and to make an appointment with Lance.Maggie: Their son?Jason: Their dog.Chrissy: Who's dog?Carol: Our new neighbours, they moved in last night.Chrissy: How come all the good stuff happens after I go to bed?Maggie: Chrissy, we've been over this a hundred times, nothing happens after you're asleep. Chrissy: And how come breakfast is ready when I wake up?Mike: Good morning loyal subjects.Jason: Hey.Mike: Oh mom you know I woke up last night just craving your fabulous home made fudge. Maggie: Really?Mike: Yeah.Maggie: I should make it for you sometime.Mike: Oh that would be great, could you make about forty pounds of it and have it cut up and wrapped in coloured cellophane by Saturday?Maggie: No Mike I couldn't, now what's going on?Mike: Well Botens Date Teacher's College is having this fund raiser on Saturday and I promised that you'd make forty pounds of fudge.Maggie: Oh, why didn't you promise I'll play show toons on a musical saw?Mike: Well, cause I'm not on the entertainment committee.Maggie: Oh aw, Mike you want fudge, the recipe is in the draw, multiply by forty. Come on Chrissy, let's get ready for school.Ben: Oh man, are the new neighbours cool or what? Well them carry some trash for the curb they slipped me five bucks.Carol: I can't believe you accepted cash for doing a neighbourly gesture.Ben: Why not? Do you know what their bank balance is?Jason: Nothing compared to their net worth.Mike: Listen Benny I need you to do a favour for me? It's Luke's first day at Duwee High, so I just want you to stick around with him you know show him the ropes a little bit.Ben: Oh come on Mike, you know how tough they are on new kids, I mean if I hang out with him I'll be the grand pooh ball of geek dumb.Mike: Yeah well listen pooh, you hang out with Luke today or I'll tell mom where her Victoria's secret catalogues were.Ben: Luke my home boy, stick close to me today and I'll show you the ropes.Luke: Oh, so that means if I see you I can say hi?Carol: So Luke, are you nervous about starting regular classes?Luke: I should get the hang of it; Mike here has been tutoring me.Carol: Be nervous, be very nervous.Jodi: Rap tap tap.Carol: Oh, can I help you?Jodi: Oh, you speak English, is your employer home?Maggie: Or you must be Mrs. CreedMoor, I'm Maggie Sever.Jodi: Oh kill for Paul, please call me Jodi.Jodi: My goodness, what are you doing Maggie?Maggie: I'm cleaning the oven Jodi.Jodi: Oh, those things get dirty?Maggie: Yes they do, usually we just throw them out but I thought I'll give this a tryJodi: I just came by to give you this.Maggie: Ah, oh an invitation?Jodi: Ah Elli and I are just having a little house warming suore on Friday and we said what the heck let's just invite everybody.Maggie: Well I'll have a check with my husband.Jodi: Oh, so you'll come, please, please, please neighbour?Maggie: Alright we'll be there.Jodi: Oh Maggie, well I don't know when I've have a better time well I must fly I have to go meet my colour consultant in half an hour. I should give you her number; well she can make a silk purse out of a sowzier.Maggie: I hope so.Ben: Luke, my man, how was your first day?Luke: Fine, my first day is gone.Ben: Oh, first day in new school can always be tuff. May take many body know she name. Sasha: Hi Luke.Luke: Sasha Saracsky smiled to me today I can die I a happy manBen: You kidded with Sasha Saracsky?Jerk: Hey, Luke, my star.Luke: Jerk streak.Jerk: Hu, after practice the whole gang is going down to the mall to go body surfing down the escalator rails, you want to come?Luke: Great, can I bring Ben?Jerk: Who?Ben: Me, Ben Sever, Benno, Benny boy. You tried to kill me in the fourth grade with a thunder ball.Jerk: Yeah well any friend of Luke's, wait a minute, Sever, you're the geek that's president of the chess club.Ben: I was drafted.Jerk: You're a very powerful man.Ben: Actually I burst quite easily.Jerk: You're on the nominating committee for the home coming queen?Ben: No I'm not and I say that with the deepest respect and fear.Jerk: Yeah you are all club presidents are on the committee.Ben: Eh, ok.Luke: Way to go Ben.Jerk: I think that you should vote for Donna Kent.Ben: Donna 'wild thing' Kent?Jerk: She's my girl friend.Ben: And sweetheart too.Jerk: Don't get me wrong you see somebody who is better vote for her you just make sure you give me your number.Luke: Ben, you're gonna meet all the hottest girls in school.Ben: No I won't, all the presidents of the cool clubs will be upfront I'm gonna be stuck in the back with the audio visual club in the Arachnid society.Luke: Whoa, maybe I could get you a front row seat.Kate: Ok, here is the shopping list for the fudge; carrot powder, barley malt, arrowroot.Mike: Wow wow wow Kate, are we making fudge or are we paving the drive way?Kate: Mike the ingredients in regular fudge will ruin your system.Mike: Kate, oh come on if we use your ingredients we might as well buy lettuce paint it brown and call it fudge.Maggie: It's probably for me I am expecting a shipment of drills to test for my column.Ben: Sever's residue, Donna Kent , ah yeah hello Donna may I say what a pleasure, yeah Luke's here.Luke: Wild thing what's shaking?Maggie: Ok Chrissy, eight o'clock bed time.Chrissy: I want to see if the Chayote catches the road runner.Maggie: Honey, the chayote never catches the road runner.Chrissy: Thanks you ruined it for me.Jason: Come on sweetheart you heard your mother.Chrissy: But I need a snack.Maggie: You had a snack.Chrissy: Can I have a drink?Maggie: You had a drink.Chrissy: Not in my Mickey Mouse cup.Jason: Chrissy.Chrissy: It's not fair how come I have to go to bed and everyone else gets to stay up and have fun, I hear you laughing, I know what you do, wait till Chrissy goes to bed and then party, party party. Maggie: We'll be right up to tuck you in.Jason: Well listen to this one, our new neighbours the Greedmoors.Maggie: That's Creedmoor.Jason: Yeah whatever, they want us to come to their house warming party, good luck.Maggie: Jason.Jason: Maggie it's a costume party for crying out loud, you couldn't pay me to set foot on their over priced property much less wear some stupid…you said yes didn't you?Maggie: I couldn't say no they are neighbours.Jason: Oh Maggie.Maggie: Oh come on Jason it'll be fun I called the costume shops and here are the costumes that are available in your size, you can be a porcupine, Freddie Krueger, heappy loupyu.Jason: Maggie I am a respected professional I refuse to wear anything with furs, finger nails or quills.Maggie: Ah that rules out Libber Rochie.Luke: But you'll ah probably go right?Jason: Not if I have anything to say about it.Luke: Come on, then you'll probably go right?Maggie: Right.Luke: Great, well I mean that costume parties are always so festive.Jason: Festive, you've ever tried sitting down in quills?Maggie: Let's talk about it after we tuck Chrissy in.Luke: Ben, what are your plans for this Friday?Ben: I'm doing nothing, I'll be home alone sitting in my room looking at the same spot on the sealing, listening to the clock ticking away the minutes of my pathetic existence.Luke: Good, don't make any other plans alright?Maggie: Honey, would you like a sip of water?Chrissy: No.Jason: How about a quick story.Chrissy: No.Maggie: How about a good night kiss?Chrissy: If you must.Maggie: Sweet dreams honey.Jason: Good night sweet heart.Chrissy: Well it seems like its me and you again Mr. Bogel, everybody's downstairs having fun without me, wait a minute, this time I'm going see for myself.Jason: Well I guess Chrissy must be asleep by now.Maggie: What do you want to do tonight?Jason: Woo I don't know, you want to play barbies?Maggie: Ok guys we are gonna play barbies, you all want to join us?Luke: Chrissy is asleep and the party is starting.Maggie: Boys if you are going to jump hard on the sofa you need to jump harder the spring needs the exercise.Ben: Where did you get these they're gorgeous.Jason: Santa Claus brought them, I was just waiting for a special occasion.Ben: I know let's watch TV and stay real close to the screen.Luke: No we do that every night.Maggie: I want to play something else, I know tea party.Kate: I want to play dress up.Luke: Ah jump rope, jump rope.Jason: We have time for everything, we have all night.Mike: What difference does it make what we do? As long as we do it without Chrissy.Maggie: I know, I know, let's have something from the basic four groups; pizza, popcorn, ice cream and candy.Ben: I can't this chips open can somebody pass me some scissors?Luke: Why do you need scissors for, you got feet don't you?Ben: Yeah.Maggie: Who wants cavities? Ok I brought you some vegetables.Mike: Oh mom are you crazy?Katie: Not for eating for throwing.Jason: Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey, those sofa cushions are not for hitting. they're making for feet.Luke: Grape, my favorite.Ben: There were never come out.Luke: Let's blame it on Chrissy. Yeah.Carol: Hey are you guys playing without Chrissy again?Everyone: YeahCarol: Well that's great because look what I brought pony rides for everyone.Chrissy: I knew it I caught you.Jason: Ah, what should we do?Mike: Put her back to bed.Everyone chanting: Put her back to bed.Chrissy: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.Maggie: Chrissy, what is it?Chrissy: That's it I'm never going to sleep again.Maggie: Now she sleeps.Jason: I don't think she closed her eyes once one night Maggie, maybe it's time we tried something different.Maggie: Like what? Make her do military push ups until she passes out?Jason: Or like ah why don't we let her stay up as late as she wants one night and let her see that nothing happens.Maggie: That sounds like a interesting idea with another child and another family and another country perhaps in a separate but parallel universe.Jason: Her bed time is eight o'clock she needs to sleep.Jason: Is this how you want her to get it tasting table?Maggie: Well what if she likes staying up? What if she wants to do it all the time?Jason: She won't Maggie; we would make sure that is the most boring, un event full night of your life?Maggie: And how would we do that?Jason: Come on I don't have to tell you how to make a night boring, I mean you are very you are exciting and dynamic and tingly but you're an adult but to a kid she wouldn't understand, and its because come on what do you have to say? Let's give it a shake.Maggie: Ok Jason you sweet talk me into it but if it back fires nothing happens after your bed time either.Jason: Come on Chrissy sweet heart come on time for school come on.Chrissy: Is a pony here?Jason: No there's not, I am gonna make you a deal I want you to go to bed on every school night and then the first non-school night you can stay up as long as you want.Chrissy: Really?Jason: Really yes. We want you to see what we all do after you go to bed.Chrissy: Do you pinky swear?Jason: I pinky swear.Maggie: Ok Chrissy go get your sweater and I'll take you to school.Chrissy: Ok.Jason: I call that an auspicious beginning.Maggie: And I call it caving in and another thing Doctor Floyd and that the next non-school night is Friday and that's the CreedMoors' costume party.Jason: That's great a little disappointing to me Maggie we'll have to cancel.Maggie: Jason.Jason: Maggie, come on what can I do? I pinky swore.Katie: This looks like night mare on Fudge Street.Mike: Hey relax, we are done.Katie: I can't believe I help you make forty pounds of this stuff do you know how much fat is in this? Why didn't I just go to the Big Sale set up a booth and sell lard?Mike: Kate come on remember this is for a very very good cause.Katie: Which is?Mike: Putting a new candy machine in the student union.Katie: For that I shelled twenty five pounds of walnuts?Mike: Hey hey hey, I was the one who wanted to leave them in the shell you were the one worried about cracking people's teeth. Right now listen up I'll go the wagon so we can load it up ok? Katie: Where do we have to deliver all of this?Mike: Hey I got the address right here.Katie: Mike do you think there might be some important information you've overlooked here? Mike: Ah, bring it on recycled paper?Katie: The big sale is next month.Mike: You know a lesser woman would be mad honey, I got to hit it to you.Kate: I spent the entire afternoon cooking liquid deft because you can't read instructions?Mike: Honey look I am sorry I've never been good with dates, you forgive me?Kate: Eat fudge and die.Maggie: I want to talk to his supervisor, yes I'll hold, Chrissy it's eight o'clock the TV goes off. Chrissy: Great time to party.Jason: Look the reason we made you stay up so late tonight is to see that there is no party. Now come on just sit back and let's enjoy the quiet.Maggie: Listen to me Mr. on time every time you've been giving me that sorry song for over a week now and it is Friday night, you get me those drills tonight or else I am coming down there with a pair of hedge clippers and I'm gonna open your mail, that's right I play rough.Chrissy: This is boring, Can we order pizza?Jason: No Chrissy, on normal nights we don't have any special treats.Mike: Ok, fudge for everyone.Chrissy: Wow.Maggie: Chrissy, this is unusual.Chrissy: Right, can I have some?Jason: Only if you have some milk to go along with itChrissy: No problem.Luke: What are you parents doing here?Ben: Well we have to put up with them they own the place.Luke: I thought they were going out tonight.Ben: It doesn't look like it, so what's the big deal? We'll go out then.Luke: You can't.Ben: Why not?Luke: Because you're a mess, it's for you.Ben: If there's a flaming bag out there you're dead meat.Lady: Hi does Ben Sever live here?Ben: Yeah, I'm Ben.Donna: I'm Donna Kent, you may know me as 'Wild Thing'. You sit I'll dance.Ben: Ok.Katie: What's going on here?Donna: This is the talent competition for home coming queen.Ben: It is? I thought that was next week at school?Mike: Well don't argue with the 'wild thing'.Donna: It's definitely here tonight.Ben: It says alright I just can't figure out, Luke, Luke must have done this.Kate: I can't believe they'll go through all this trouble to get girls.Mike: The kid's got talent.Chrissy: I guess she must have figured out I was in bed.Maggie: Chrissy I don't know what's goi ng on here but I'm sure there's…,Jason: I'll get it, Ah haChrissy: Look that!Maggie: May I help you?Jodi: Say what? Your new neighbour Jody Creedmoor.Maggie: Oh I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, You remember my husband Jason?Jason: Yeah nice to see you again, I like that Marge Simpson thing you got going?Jody: I felt just awful that you weren't gonna come to my little doo so I brought popo platter Chrissy: Pizza roll?Jody: Sun dried tomatoes and goat cheese in a tortilla skin.Chrissy: Right, pizza roll.Jason: This is just a coincidence.Maggie: Oh this is so sweet of you Jodi.Jody: Oh, it's the least I could do, by the by our plumbing has gone kerfluee, would it be alright if a few of my very closest friends could used your bathroom?Maggie: Oh sure.Jody: Fluuuy.Maggie: It's upstairs.Chrissy: Ohhhh.Luke: Excuse me, Aw.Jason: Upstairs on the right follow the porcupine .Man: I got a delivery here for Maggie MalonMaggie: Oh great, my drills are finally here.Man: Drills, Lady you just signed for a truck load of dolls, bring them on in.Maggie: Oh wait guys they must be some.Man: In here or on the lawn it's your choice.Chrissy: I'm here I'm here, thank you, have some fudge.Chrissy: Bo bo bo.Maggie: Chrissy this is all a big mistake.Jason: Nothing like this has ever happened before.Chrissy: Ah ha, ah cool.Kate: Mike, what are you doing?Mike: Gotta ….spirit, what did you like that ah thing?Girl: Is Ben Sever here.Ben: Yow.Girl: Pristo.Luke: Mr. Sever is busy right now, have a seat and wait until your name is called.Girl: No way they started without us.Maggie: I give up.Jason: Carol,Carol: I finish mid terms pull two all night up all I want to do is sleep in my own bed. Maggie: Carol, you're not gonna get any quiet around here.Carol: That's ok I'm totally wrecked.Man: Oh could we use the bathroom?Carol: Sure follow me.Chrissy: Pony, Mummy daddy everything I've ever dreamed, I'm never going to bed again. Maggie: What a coincidence, neither are you.。