老板对你恼火的时候不要逃避

Years ago, as the editor of prestigious trade magazine, I remember losing my cool with one of the top reporters. We were sharing a late-night cab home from the office, both having put in a long day, and when I pressed her on when I’d finally see the

very late article she’d been laboring over, she told me she wasn’t sure she’d make the deadline, or any deadline that would allow the article to be printed in the next issue of the magazine. Caught by surprise, I lost it and started yelling at her. All the things I’d have to do to fix the problem were running through my mind. I was angrier than I’d ever been in my professional career and when I got out of the cab, I slammed the door as hard as I could. She avoided me the whole next day at work and the tension between us festered for a few days until I came up with a new piece to fill the hole in the magazine. Only then was I able to rationally discuss her article with her – and when it was finally finished, it was a great piece.

几年前，作为享有声誉的贸易杂志的编辑，我在一名顶级记者面前有失风度。在一整天的劳作后，我和她一起坐辆从公司回家的出租汽车，当我给她施压何时可以看到她一直在进行的文章时，她告诉我不确定是否可以在最后期限前完成也不确定是否可以出现在下一期杂志的最后期限印刷之前完成。出乎意料之外的是，我失去控制并且对她大叫。所有我试图解决问题的方法都在脑海烟消云散。这是我职业生涯中最生气的一次，当我离开出租汽车的时候我用最大的力气甩了门。接下来的一天她躲了我一整天，我们之间的紧张气氛延续了几天直到我找到填补杂志空缺的文章。这才能够理性的和她讨论文章，而当最后定稿完成的时候真的很成功。

It was not my finest moment as a manager, but I can imagine it was even worse for her. Nobody wants to be on their boss’s bad side. After all, study after study shows how critical the relationship with your manager to your happiness at work. Not to mention that your boss controls many aspects of your working life, from assignments and raises to vacation requests.

作为一个经理这不是很好的时刻，但我可以想像对她而言更糟。没有人想遇到老板不好的一面。在不断的研究后表明：你与经理之间的关系如何是你工作的幸福度多少的关键。更不用提你的老板掌控了很多你工作生活面，从布置任务到休假申请。

In hindsight, I wished I’d handled the matter differently. As the boss, I should’ve discussed the problem with her calmly in the morning, when we were both rested and I’d had time to rationally think through the implications of her missing the deadline. But bosses, like everyone, aren’t perfect, and sometimes it’s up to the employee to make amends. It’s hard to step up, especially given the difference in power, but if you want to recover from making your boss angry, it’s importan t to not be timid and take the lead. Here’s how.

后而言之，我多希望我当时没那样处理问题。作为老板，我应该和她在早上当大家都

休息过后冷静地讨论问题并且我应该思考她说无法在最后期限前赶稿的可能原因。但是，老板也是人，不可能完美，有时候需要员工来帮忙改正错误。虽然因为有权利差别，不容易介入但是如果你想不让老板生气的话，不要胆怯并且采取主导，这里告诉

你怎么做。

Don’t retreat to the shadows. Don’t be tempted to h ide from your boss or sweep the conflict under the rug. That can cause the tension to fester and lead to future blow-ups, perhaps disproportional to the original offense. It’s critical that you attend to the working relationship if it’s been damaged, says Jeff Weiss, partner in Vantage Partners, a consultancy that specializes in negotiations and relationship management. Don’t wait for your boss to take the initiative to smooth things over. When you’re feeling calm and rational, go see your boss to clear the air.

不要因此退到阴影处；不要和老板玩“躲猫猫”；或者掩耳盗铃，这样做只会让紧张

气氛升温并且导致将来的爆发，和起初的冒犯不成比例。有利合作伙伴，一个致力于

洽谈和关系管理的咨询公司的Jeff Weiss建议：加入到已经损伤的关系中去很重要，

不要等你的老板采取主动来解决事情。当你觉得自己冷静下来并且理性的时候，去见

你的老板消除误会。

Get input. Resist the urge to gossip about what happened with your colleagues. You can inflame a tense situation quickly if everyone is talking about it and word gets back to your manager. But it can be helpful to talk over the situation with one trusted friend or colleague to get perspective and to air your own thinking. You may rehearse what you want to say and your friend might, for instance, point out where you sound defensive or insincere.

不要和你的同事碎碎念发生了什么。你可能使已经紧张的气氛更加激烈如果每个人都

在谈论发生了什么，最后让老板听到。但是和一个你信得过的朋友或同事讨论这件事

情来获取观点并且平静自己的想法很有帮助。或许你可以和朋友排练你想说的，例如，你的朋友可以指出哪里听上去自我保护意识太强或者不真诚。

Remember that your boss has more going on than just your battle. Your boss has normal reactions to stress and disappointment just like anybody else. She may be reacting disproportionately for reasons you can’t see in the moment. When I yelled

at the reporter it was because I saw even longer days and nights of stress ahead of me until I came up with another article for the issue. But she probably didn’t realize that. Try to see the issue from your boss’s perspective.