经典笑话：恐怖英语
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbit that you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. the mouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
让人泪奔的笑话有哪些英文
让人泪奔的笑话有哪些英文As we all know, jokes are an essential part of our lives. They bring us joy, laughter, and can even make us cry - not from sadness, but from excessive hilarity. In this article, we will explore some tear-inducing jokes that never fail to make people burst into tears of laughter. So brace yourself for a laughter-filled journey through the world of funny English jokes.1. The Talking FrogA man walks into a pub and sits down. He notices a frog sitting next to him, so he leans over and asks, "Hey frog, are you able to talk?"To his surprise, the frog responds, "Yes, I can talk. And not only that, but I'm also a talented musician. In fact, I'm so good that I can play any instrument you can think of."Amazed, the man exclaims, "That's incredible! Could you possibly play the piano for me?"Without hesitation, the frog jumps onto the piano and plays an astounding performance. The bar patrons are left in awe.As the man is about to leave, the bartender asks him, "How did you find a talking, piano-playing frog?"The man replies, "It's a long story. I found a magic lamp with a genie who granted me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked for a bottomless wallet. For my second wish, I asked for a stunningly beautiful wife. And for my third wish, I asked for a talking frog who's a brilliant musician."The bartender is shocked and asks, "But why would you waste your third wish on a talking frog?"The man chuckles and says, "Well, who wouldn't want a talking frog playing the piano?"2. The Injured ChickenA chicken walks into a library, goes up to the librarian, and says, "Bok bok!" The librarian takes a closer look at the chicken and notices that it has its wing bandaged.Concerned, the librarian asks, "Oh no, what happened to your wing?"The chicken replies, "I was crossing the road and got hit by a car. Luckily, I only broke my wing."The librarian, impressed, says, "Well, you're at a library, so why don't you grab a book to read while your wing heals?"The chicken smiles and says, "That's a great idea. Do you have any books on famous chickens?"The librarian nods and leads the chicken to the "Poultry" section. The chicken spends hours engrossed in books about courageous chickens throughout history.After a week, the chicken returns to the library, fully healed and with its wing out of the bandage.The librarian excitedly asks, "How's your wing? Are you feeling better?"The chicken flaps its wings and exclaims, "Oh, I'm feeling fantastic! Thanks to your suggestion, I finally understand why the chicken crossed the road!"3. The Sneezing StatueA man is walking through a museum when he notices a statue of a person sneezing. The sneeze appears so lifelike that it fascinates him.Curious, the man approaches the security guard and asks, "Excuse me, sir. I couldn't help but notice this amazing statue. How is it possible to capture a sneeze in such detail?"The security guard chuckles and replies, "Well, it's not a statue. That's a real person!"Astounded, the man asks, "Are you serious? How is that even possible?"The security guard smiles and explains, "You see, our museum wanted to showcase human emotions in the purest form. So, we hire people to recreate various emotions, including sneezing. That person is paid to sneeze on demand."Still amazed, the man asks, "Well, that's certainly an interesting job. How did you even find someone willing to do that?"The security guard grins and replies, "Oh, it wasn't too difficult. We posted a job advertisement that said, 'Looking for someone who can make a tissue dance.'"4. The Unbeatable HorseA man walks into a bar and spots an old cowboy sitting at the counter. The cowboy has a hat pulled down low, covering most of his face.Curiosity gets the better of the man, so he approaches the cowboy and asks, "Excuse me, sir. I can't help but notice your hat. What's the story behind it?"The cowboy lifts his hat slightly and reveals that he has a horseshoe nailed to his forehead. He smirks and says, "You see this horseshoe? It gives me superpowers. It makes me invincible."Intrigued, the man replies, "That's incredible! How did you discover that the horseshoe gives you superpowers?"The cowboy chuckles and says, "Well, it's quite simple. I was once bitten by a poisonous snake, but I didn't get affected. I got hit by lightning, but I didn't feel a thing. This horseshoe gives me extraordinary abilities."The man, astonished, asks, "But doesn't wearing a horseshoe on your forehead cause any discomfort?"The cowboy shrugs and says, "Sure, it's a little uncomfortable, but nothing a hat can't fix!"5. The Magic MirrorA woman buys a new magic mirror, which promises to make her look ten years younger every time she speaks the truth into it.Excited, she rushes home and stands in front of the mirror, saying, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, make me look ten years younger!"To her amazement, she watches as her wrinkles disappear, and her skin becomes smoother and more youthful.Overwhelmed with joy, the woman continues talking, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, I think my husband is the most handsome man of all!"In an instant, the woman sees herself transform into a young, beautiful, and radiant version of herself.Unable to contain her excitement, she rushes to her husband and exclaims, "Honey, you won't believe what happened! I found this incredible magic mirror, and every time I speak the truth into it, it makes me look ten years younger!"Her husband looks at her in disbelief and replies, "Well, maybe you should try saying that I have a big bank account."These jokes never fail to bring tears of laughter to people's eyes. Whether it's a talking frog, an injured chicken, a sneezing statue, an unbeatable cowboy, or a magic mirror, these English jokes showcase the power of humor and its universal ability to make us cry with laughter. Laughter truly is the best medicine, and these jokes prove it to be true in any language.。
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一Wow!That's a Big One!哇!那个真是大得吓人One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。
”Then, an armadillo ran past the door.那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，and he asked the location of the bathroom.他问哪里有洗手间。
恐怖的笑话和故事英文
恐怖的笑话和故事英文Terrifying Jokes and StoriesIn the realm of horror, one commonly seeks to encounter suspense, fear, and a sense of dread. However, a lesser-known aspect of the horror genre is the ability to elicit fear through the unexpected combination of humor and terror. In this article, we will explore a collection of terrifying jokes and stories that encompass both laughter and chills, showcasing the unique power of this sinister fusion.1. The Haunted Laughter ClubOnce upon a time, in a small town plagued by terrifying paranormal activity, there existed a peculiar laughter club. Its members gathered every night, not to share jokes, but to exchange spine-chilling tales that sent shivers down their spines. They cherished the uncanny and embraced the fear that resided within each story. Laughter intertwined with horror as they bonded over their shared fascination with the macabre.One particular evening, as the clock struck midnight, the laughter club congregated in an ancient, dilapidated mansion—a place rumored to be frequented by ghosts. The members shivered with delight, waiting to share new terrifying tales. Little did they know that the spirits of the mansion were eagerly listening, craving the taste of fear that exuded from their stories.2. The Demonic ClownIn a small carnival town, a man named Jake came across a flyer for a newly arrived attraction—The House of Horrors. Out of pure curiosity, Jakeventured into the haunted house, unaware of the unsettling presence that lurked within. As he navigated the winding corridors, a demonic clown materialized before him, brandishing a sinister smile. Jake's heart raced with a mix of terror and adrenaline."Tell me, old chap," the clown sneered. "Why did the ghost go to therapy?"Jake's mind reeled as he scrambled to form an answer."Because it had a grave addiction!" the clown cackled maniacally, as his figure morphed into a puddle of black ooze, seeping into the floor. Jake's blood turned to ice, paralyzed by the horror and the clown's twisted joke.3. The Eerie Puppet ShowIn a forgotten theater tucked away amidst cobweb-covered streets, the puppeteer, Mr. Mortimer, put on a clandestine performance. The puppets danced eerily on their strings, their hollow eyes gleaming with malevolence. Each marionette possessed a horrifying personality that shared ghoulish tales and wickedly funny one-liners.As the show progressed, the audience gradually realized that they were not merely spectators, but participants entangled in a ghastly game. The puppets strayed from their fixed strings, roaming through the darkness, their laughter piercing the air. The audience quivered, caught between fits of nervous laughter and genuine terror, uncertain of where the line between fiction and reality blurred.4. The Sinister Comedy ClubDeep within the city's underbelly, a hidden comedy club existed—a place where twisted souls gathered to indulge in dark humor. The audience, adorned with unsettling smiles, arrived each night, yearning for jokes that chilled them to their core. The comedians took the stage, seizing the crowd's attention with their unnerving presence and their knack for delivering jokes that simultaneously provoked a chuckle and a hair-raising shudder.Their punchlines, dripping with eerie wit, left the audience in a state of bewilderment. Their laughter echoed through the club, mingling with the air of unease that permeated the room. Each night, as the club closed its doors, the audience departed with a lingering sense of trepidation, their laughter transforming into an eerie refrain that followed them through the misty streets.ConclusionIn the twilight zone where humor and horror intersect, these terrifying jokes and stories weave a tapestry of spine-chilling intrigue. Laughter and terror unite, offering a unique experience that stimulates both amusement and fear. The allure and power of these terrifying tales lies in their ability to manipulate emotions, leaving us unable to discern whether we should laugh or scream.。
精彩愚人节英文笑话“鬼话”连篇
精彩愚人节英文笑话“鬼话”连篇精彩愚人节英文笑话“鬼话”连篇节是西方的节日，你听过愚人节的英语笑话吗?现在，就让我们感受一下外国的幽默，最好也把英语字典放在身边。
1.-What the day is it today?-Today is April fools'day.-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.-Oh!it is really April fools'day.-Haha!you were cheated! 2.Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better! 3.A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"4.Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day):I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily5.A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!。
英文版地狱笑话大全
英文版地狱笑话大全The Joke of Souls in Hell (English Edition)In the deepest pits of the underworld, where sinners are eternally tormented, even laughter can be found. Yes, that's right, even hell has its own set of jokes. In this compilation, we present to you a collection of dark humor that is sure to tickle your funny bone, or perhaps send a chill down your spine. Brace yourself as we delve into the abyss of English jokes straight from the depths of Hell.1. The Devil's ChallengeOne day, the Devil decided to hold a joke competition among his most loyal demons. Whoever could make him laugh would receive a day off from their duties. The demons eagerly began telling their best jokes, from slapstick to wordplay. Despite their efforts, not a single demon could crack a smile on the Devil's face. Frustrated, one demon shouted, "I bet even the souls in Heaven can come up with funnier jokes!" To everyone's surprise, the Devil burst into laughter. The demon, confused, asked, "What's so funny?" The Devil replied, "Well, you see... everyone knows there are no souls in Heaven!"2. The Three SinnersThree sinners found themselves in a room filled with torture devices. As they looked around, they noticed a sign that read, "Choose your punishment wisely." The first sinner, a thief, said, "I am used to pain, so I'll take the rack." The second sinner, a murderer, said, "I deserve nothing less than the iron maiden." The third sinner, a lawyer, confidently said, "I choose... theelectric chair!" The devil looked at the lawyer and said, "That one's out of order, but don't worry, we'll have it fixed soon."3. A Special RequestAfter spending centuries in hell, a sinner managed to strike up a conversation with the Devil. The sinner, tired of the eternal torment, made a bold request. "Can I have a day off from the flames? Just one day to feel the cool breeze and see the sunlight?" Surprisingly, the Devil agreed. The sinner enjoyed his day in the mortal world, relishing in the simple pleasures of life. As the day came to an end, the Devil appeared before him. The sinner pleaded, "Can I have one more day?" The Devil smirked and replied, "Sure, but remember, all good things must come to an end. Tomorrow, you're mine again."4. The Devil's Shopping TripOne day, the Devil decided to go shopping in the mortal realm. He walked into a clothing store and asked the salesperson for a black suit. The salesperson, recognizing the Devil, said, "We don't serve your kind here." The Devil smirked and replied, "That's a shame. I was hoping to blend in at the next board meeting."5. A Demon's MistakeA demon accidentally ended up in a church during a sermon. The demon, unfamiliar with the concept of forgiveness, listened intently as the priest spoke about redemption. When the sermon ended, the demon approached the priest and asked, "So, when do we start the torment?"6. The Devil's InternThe Devil, feeling overwhelmed with work, decided to hire an intern. The intern's first task was to sort through an endless pile of sin reports. After hours of tedious work, the intern approached the Devil, visibly distressed. "I can't do this anymore," the intern cried. The Devil, amused, responded, "Welcome to Hell, kid."7. A Punishment Fit for a KingA wicked king arrived in Hell after a lifetime of cruelty and oppression. The Devil, impressed by his wickedness, offered him the chance to choose his own punishment. The king, with a cruel smile, said, "I want to be surrounded by my loyal subjects for all eternity!" The Devil granted his wish and filled the king's chamber with his loyal subjects. However, each subject had the power to disobey his commands. The king soon realized the true agony of being surrounded by individuals who refused to bend to his will.8. A Fiery ComplaintA sinner, tired of the never-ending flames, approached the Devil with a complaint. "The heat is unbearable! Can't you do anything about it?" The Devil, looking surprised, responded, "Oh, I'm sorry. We didn't realize how uncomfortable you were. Let me turn on the air conditioning... Oh wait, we don't have any!"9. A Hellish WishOne day, a sinner stumbled upon a lamp in Hell. Rubbing it, the sinner was surprised to see a genie appear. The genie, feeling generous, offered one wish. The sinner said, "I wish to spend eternity in Heaven." The genie laughed and said, "Sorry, buddy, but you're stuck with us down here."10. A Demon's LoveA demon fell in love with a human who had just arrived in Hell. The demon, willing to do anything for their love, approached the Devil and asked for a favor. "Can you bring me to the mortal realm to be with them?" The Devil, touched by the demon's love, granted their request. However, as they embraced in the mortal realm, the demon whispered, "I don't belong here. Take me back to Hell." And with that, they both returned to the abyss.And there you have it - a glimpse into the dark humor that echoes through the depths of Hell. These English jokes, although macabre in nature, serve as a reminder that even in the most despairing places, laughter can be found. So, the next time you find yourself in a dire situation, remember these jokes from the underworld and allow a chuckle to escape, for in the face of darkness, humor can be a guiding light.。
让人抓狂的英语笑话阅读
让人抓狂的英语笑话阅读狗为什么看着我?Guest: Why does your dog sit there and watch meeat?客人：你的狗为什么坐在那儿看着我吃饭?Hotel Host: I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from.旅馆老板：我想不出，除非是因为你用的是它平时吃饭的盘子。
CEO: My wife made a millionaire out of me.首席执行官：我妻子使我成了一个百万富翁。
Assistant: What were you before?助手：以前你是什么?CEO: A multimillionaire.首席执行官：千万富翁。
你会说多少英文"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention howunfair it is for my client to be accused of theft."法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。
He arrived in New York City a week ago and barelyknew his way around. What's more, he only speaks afew words of English."他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。
而且，他只会说几个英语单词。
"The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"法官看被告，问道："你会说多少英文?"The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我!"又要结婚了"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。
笑到肚子痛的100个英语笑话
笑到肚子痛的100个英语笑话As a content creator, I understand the importance of laughter in our lives. Laughter not only relieves stress and improves our mood, but it also helps us connect with others. To bring some laughter to your day, I have compiled a list of 100 hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to make your belly ache!1. If you see a robbery at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.4. Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up the pants.5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.6. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.7. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.8. Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they would be bagels.9. Why don't vampires go out in the sun? They don't want to be caught dead in a tan.10. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.11. Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case.12. I just got fired from my job at the bank. An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.13. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.15. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing,it just let out a little wine.16. What do you call a group of cows that play instruments? A milk band.17. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.18. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.19. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it wasfeeling crummy.20. What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? Attire.21. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don'thave the guts.22. Why was the gym so cold? Because all the fans wereworking out!23. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had toomany problems.24. Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.25. What is a tornado's favorite game to play? Twister!26. Why did the kid cross the park? To get to the other slide.27. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.28. What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.29. Two gold fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"30. Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? To seetime fly!31. Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”32. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.33. Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two-tired.34. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.35. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!36. What did one wall say to the other? "I’ll meet you at the corner."37. Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke up.38. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I’ll tell you later.39. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.40. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’mstill working on that one.41. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!42. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!43. Why did the hipster drown? He went ice skating before it was cool.44. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.45. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.46. Why do n’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.47. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.48. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?A guy will take twenty minutes to look for a golf ball.49. Want to hear a roof joke? The first one’s on the house.50. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed!51. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.52. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.53. Why did the plane crash into the rocks? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.54. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.55. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.56. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.57. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.58. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.59. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.60. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.61. Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.62. What do ducks give for presents? They quack open gifts.63. Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up the pants!64. Why do the French like to eat snails so much? Because they don't like fast food!66. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey Business.67. Why do elephants never use computers? Because they're afraid of mice!68. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.69. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!70. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.71. Why did the student eat his homework? The teachersaid it was a piece of cake.72. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.73. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.74. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I'll go on ahead.75. Why did the dentist take a day off? He needed a little filling.76. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?A thesaurus.77. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.78. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.79. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.80. Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side? He's all right now!81. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.83. Why don't fish like basketball? They're afraid of the net.84. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.85. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up the pants.86. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.87. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eyeon the mouse.88. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.89. Why did the oxygen and magnesium go on a date? Becausethey had chemistry.90. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.91. Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they would be bagels!92. Why don't vampires go out in the sun? They don't want tobe caught dead in a tan!93. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!94. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no bodyto dance with.95. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.96. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.97. Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.98. What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boo-bees.99. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's toofar to walk.100. What do you call a fart in German? A farfrompoopen.。
英语恐怖小故事
英语恐怖小故事"My wife, she disappeared!"Sitting opposite professor is a young, pale face was full of confusion and panic.Glanced at his assistant professor xiao Yang left register ─ ─ Xu Shiqing, that is the name of this young man, in addition, there is no any instructions.Assistant with the 8 years, professor familiar with her style, each of the door to the clinic patients, assistant will ask for details, as much aspossible to record all relevant information, first to audit, professor again decided by professor, do you want to meet with the patients.Can't, the professor is so famous, that makes his psychological clinicfull every day, and professor is too old, old only received six patients every day, one more, as much of his body.But today, an assistant instead of on the register of patients to make any instructions, moreover, she made a fatal mistake almost, this young man called Xu Shiqing, is today's seventh patients.Professor seems to see through the confusion, Xu Shiqing said: "your assistant told me, you can only receive 6 patients a day, today's quota isfull, let me come back tomorrow, but, I was in a hurry to see you, just hard break in!"Professor young man looked at the full head big sweat, is still a face of temptation: "a gentleman, your wife is missing, why don't you go to the police, but run to me? I'm just a psychological doctor, what can help you?"Xu Shiqing shook his head: "no, I know, the police must find her, and her missing more than 24 hours, the police will not accept."Looking at the face of the Xu Shiqing dignified and desperate, professor curious: "so, your wife, exactly how long missing?"Xu Shiqing slowly raised his head, sweat pouring from his forehead down: "professor, has been for two hours, my wife, she has been missing for two hours."Professor angry: "nonsense, two hours is missing! I'm tired, let's call it today, your things, I also can't help you, xiao Yang, fujian!"Professor Xu Shiqing nasty, pounce on hold hands, were hoarse, Shouting: "professor, give me five minutes of time, you hear me out of her missing after, you make a decision again is not late either!"2Xu Shiqing from urinate obsession with antiques, and archaeological professional college, married mulberry fell soon after graduating from college, the siheyun of mulberry home is old curtilage converted into an antique shop, because too much love, antique shop sell things is little at ordinary times, much collection.Mulberry is a psychological doctor, main attack direction is hypnosis, sometimes encounter goes wrong, she would say, I wish to do a pure sense of hypnosis, so you can put aside all the worry, to another world.For his wife, Xu Shiqing just shook his head, every time when a joke to listen to just, until this afternoon.Afternoon sent a roll of ancient books have a guest, want to consignment, the paper should be a year of yuan and Ming dynasties.In front of the guests, Xu Shiqing didn't not bashful to turn over the content of the reading, but my heart already itchy, greet a few words with the guest, the guest front foot out of the door, Xu Shiqing hind feet are off the antique shop's door, he will have a good look at a person, what the ancient books recorded content, maybe will find a big secret.Thought of here, crazy jump up, his heart is almost ran ran behind the counter, he put the books on the behind the counter in the drawer.But, open the drawer, empty inside, ancient book is missing.Because just after noon, the store is very cold and cheerless, Xu Shiqing remembered, in addition to the guests from ancient books, just now the shopwill be left with yourself, no, like he just sang out also.Must be down to see the, mulberry fell this person has no interest in any antiques, say everything the antiques are stained with the dead, bad luck, but there are exceptions, that's ─ ─ ancient books.Thought of here, Xu Shiqing rush to the back room of the bedroom.Across the far away, Xu Shiqing smelt a full-bodied fragrance, he frowned, he is too familiar with the taste, every time mulberry fell to hypnosis, will ignite the incense.Mulberry fall often give yourself hypnosis, but every time is at night, today it in broad daylight...Through the window, Xu Shiqing see, mulberry has closed his eyes, lying on a bamboo chair, like sleeping, on tea table in front of her, out with the old book, it seems, like mulberry is modeled on the book of artistic conception, to hypnosis himself.Sent this roll of ancient books from the guest to the guest to leave, before and after no more than ten minutes, in the ten minutes, the mulberry found ancient books, and then immediately to hypnosis himself, thus it can be seen, the content of the book must be very attractive.This let Xu Shiqing increasingly eager to know the content of the ancient books, but he knew that can't disturb hypnotized people, otherwise you will hurt each other's body, so, Xu Shiqing worry, though, he can only wait for, waiting for the end of mulberry of hypnosis.Because too anxious, Xu Shiqing did not leave, just outside around the circle in the bedroom, look up from time to time, see if mulberry fall already wake up.And then, something strange happened.Countless is on the first visit, Xu Shiqing looked up and found that after the mulberry fell out of sight.Pushed the door open, couch empty, there is no one in the room, incense burning with, also in the pages of books was wind blowing outside the tilt, rustling, Xu Shiqing also can feel the breath of mulberry leaf falls to stay, but she was so in his good, alive is gone.Xu Shiqing instinctively glanced in the ancient books spread out on the page, the line of sight to live, too for a long time, he raised his head, breath in a gasp!He had come from the field, has been to clock in at 8 o 'clock in the evening. Closer to home for more than a month, he thought the first time to return to their home, and his wife and son!A taxi parked at his side, the driver rolled down his window and seems to be a faint smell of alcohol giving out to his nostrils. Micro frowning brows, he seems to be a little hesitant to take the taxi. But he looked round, taxi have mostly been passengers swarmed out of the car stopped, he no longer hesitate, anxious to return, after all, he has so a few drunken driving experience, does not seem to like of media is so terrible."Mr Go?" The driver asked, recognize, tongue has short hair."Kant village." After his brief answer, round head, opened on the otherside of the door.Suddenly, a figure he first step unceremoniously crammed into the front passenger's position, the car is a the big fellow of about forty, face red, a face of beard. He play the fool fully distracted tunnel x: "thank you, thank you!"He short of breath, roared: "Sir, is my first talk about good.""But I sit in first." The big fellow argued that, didn't flinch.He tried to further theory, the driver of the big fellow asks: "Sir, are you going?""Light crossroads." The big fellow said."Just drop by, can a lift, but also can save the fare." The driver silence.He reluctantly nag, not against the driver's proposal, but blame the big fellow of unreasonable, open the back door of the car door to sit in.Night was very dark outside, the lights of the bizarre even more confused and anti, traffic screeched flute from time to time, the whole world give a puzzling of mystery and fear.The big fellow looked back and look than the original kind of many, but he still felt his body seems to be some place an inexplicable uncomfortable place, he just got home quickly.The big fellow handed a business card, it read: tiangong transportation company deputy general manager, wu nine armour. For the most basic courtesy, he forced a smile or pick up, thinking: what in heaven dragon, called the more ring, is not the real thing, look at his name, neither fish nor fowl, how ridiculous.The man refers to his body, with a thick foreign accent warns: "Sir, your seat belt."He blame in your heart, for a while was at home, doing wearing a seatbelt, take off pants break wind, redundant. Think so, but he was reluctant to fasten seat belt on.A taxi into the fast track, from time to time more than one and the size of a car. Man hastened to dissuade the driver: "Sir, do you like to drink, to drive slowly, ok.""Do not love please get off the bus driver" discontentedly rebuffed. Much, he also strange man from his heart's hope that driver can drive more faster, better get home early.Taxi left shaking right sway hooting, big fellow from time to time to the indifferent driver let out a scream of anxiety and fear and pleading.In taxi trying to transcend a iveco, toward open a speeding of the van, the next is harsh on the brakes and the two cars crashed into each other's huge noise.The next day, when he came to his senses and found herself lying in a hospital bed, next to guard his is his wife and son. See he opened his eyes, the wife happy tears flow out: "husband, all scared us dead. Didn't you, how we NianLia live!"The son to her arms around his neck and kissed him, intimacy cried: "daddy."Nurses to replace lost out liquid, consolation way: "Mr. Right, you just a mild concussion, the driver, poor die very miserably. Luckily, you sit in the back, still wearing a belt, or......." She said no, but he knew she would say something."The manager wu? His wounds?" He asked eagerly, he sincerely thank the big fellow, let him pick up a life."Which wu manager? Do you mind not awake? Just the two of you on the bus, where there is someone else?"He tried to recollect what happened, suddenly into the bag to get the card. And he put his hand out, turns out to be a yellow burn out, he felt the trance, I don't know what happened.Not for a while, the traffic police asked to investigate the situation,and told his car accident both drivers belong to drunk driving, let him make detail the situation at that time. When he again put after again afterdetailed elaborate in detail, the traffic police was surprised: "wu nine armour? The name is very familiar with. He is my last year handled the deathof a drunk driving accident pickup driver's name, because of its special name, especially so remember." Traffic police went on to say, "it's strange that I have recently processed the other two survivors of the traffic accident in oral, the mysterious also named..."The early years of the qing dynasty shunzhi, WuQing County east it, west standard between it and the xiaonangou prosperous three village has a very good, the land close to a river, the water source is adequate, the land is fertile, dozen of food than what field, three village people call the place on high ground. Because when the Ming dynasty who is the policy of benefiting the forest, the land is joint clearing the three village, so the land has always been three village public welfare, income is mainly used in the three village roads and Bridges, repair temples, relief poor sickness, holiday celebrations, etc. A dozen homes in leasing the land, there are a dozen called Dong Zhimin door head, each responsible for arranging the production, to produce food tothe three village, village council. Don't look at what the head is not immortal, administers to three village can do a good job in public welfare undertakings, and allocate the land all by him.This year winter, Dong Zhimin call dozen household labor together, is preparing what kind of research in spring next year. Someone rollerblading rushed in, said there was a great soldiers from the west, riding a horse, with a sword and see the good land, riding a horse is running on a circle in the ground, with peg, write the name, the land is their. People go up with their theory, they say it's the capital enclosure, who respect, resistance is the resistance to purport to shoot.Dong Zhimin a listen to be nasty, stand up and say: "what is the reason this? We have rest of your life, they say that circle circle, with the banditsand what's the difference? I tell you that our kind of the land, but the lifeblood of three village people, if did not have got in our hands, we can be sorry commanding his, more sorry three village, old fellow, everyone copy guy, care to me!" Everyone a listen to, all copy up guy, Dong Zhimin followed out of the house.Dong Zhimin with people just on the road, two dozen soldiers arrived. Ride like a fast service in front, and a finger Dong Zhimin the plot of ground, said: "write on the land, to the Song Fu name." Fast "say that finish, two soldiers on horseback will rush into the ground. Dong Zhimin saw and came up with the crowd: "stop, the land is us, you want to ring, have to ask our hands pickmattock dry stem!" See a fast service, eyes a stare: "bold and unruly, we are serve purport enclosure, stop here, you don't want to rebel?" Dong Zhimin eyes stare is bigger than fast service: "against what? Against civil revolt, who dare to approach the land, I will let him stand in, lay out!" Two soldiers rushed a fast service motioning with his hand: "don't touch him, enclosure!" Two soldiers on horseback, ran into the field on the boundary and lime. Dong Zhimin really nasty, rushed a motioning with his hand, "folks, what are you waiting for? Put together with them!" Say that finish, carrying pickmattock will chase to two soldiers.Villagers to soldiers, with Dong Zhimin first discount the horse leg, together and pickmattock shovel to two soldiers head say hello. Two soldiers can be miserable, haven't had time to make alas! Two, head to turn into a lousy persimmon.Fast service, frighten repeatedly back: "backwards, backwards, really give me who won!" Two dozen soldiers a listen to, each holding a sword rushed to villagers. Dong Zhimin bring dozens of people have been killed red eye, though they do not have a sword and can pick, pick, sickle makes a squeaky, power is better than a sword. Villagers and soldiers a melee, results and all the people ran away. That led to run very slowly, fast service let Dong Zhimin a sickle cut off an ear. Fast service covering her ears shouts at Dong Zhimin: "ok, you wait, you wait!" Dong Zhimin sickle a flick: "I'm waiting for you, you dare to come again, I you also cut off the ear!"Soldiers ran away, Dong Zhimin led the folks back home. They have just arrived home, quick service with a standard definition of the troops arrived. Soldiers surrounded the village, the villagers were arrested, didn't escape a Dong Zhimin. Soldiers led is a lieutenant, he asked: quick service ", who is leading to revolt." A fast service refers to Dong Zhimin: "is he, my ear wascut off." Lieutenant nodded, and let the soldiers marched all the villagers to more than ten kinds of fields, such as Dong Zhimin Dong Zhimin hanging on a tree, also called to dozens of archers, in front of the villagers, the Dong Zhimin shot dead in a tree. Then said: "after the land is mine, who want to back to the land again, he is an example!" Say that finish, let a person on that piece of ground in situ planed pit, buried the Dong Zhimin in the field.Brigade soldiers go, lieutenant left dozens of soldiers to see, also left a housekeeper called Song Youcai land management. Song Youcai calledoriginally a tiller of the ground more than ten families together, said: "though the land has been owned by the owner's name, but you can also, rent ninety percent, who have to turn it in in the if not JiaoLiang head!" Hearing this, the villagers this guy is not to drink the blood of our? Rent JiaoJiu into, we have to drink northwest breeze a year! Can be Song Youcai hands dozens of soldiers, the villagers are not to be taunted, had to endure.The following spring, the tender grass sprouted, also in the spring. Before spring sowing, folks to the watering again first, and then on the damp land and seeds. Irrigate fields, the villagers from the dragon river waterinto the ground, but also around the clock, or ground water is bad.That night, a few folks water for a while, just squat down smoking in the fields to have a rest. As he spoke, there was a man suddenly said, "hey, listen, the field is what sound?" Everyone stopped talking and listened, but a listen to, hair root up all of us. When they heard someone pull a long talk, the field has a deep voice, abnormal terror: "come also come my life -- we -- this is our land, you don't give clear dogs -" as a slave in the light of the moon the ground bare, what all have no, that voice seems to come from underground issued. Everyone listened for a moment, all stood up and said, "is a ghost, the ghost of Dong Zhimin, the land cannot be planted, run!"Have a few people to run to find Song Youcai, said the field Dong Zhimin ghosts, they are not kind. Song Youcai not letter, with a few soldiers to the field to see, ear, a listen to, indeed as expected have a voice. Song Youcai scared calf straight twitch, but also with a strong, said to the soldiers, "what the hell? Spectre, fear of the wicked, you look at the sound come from? To me it!" A few armed soldiers followed the sound in the past, in the ground plane for a moment, plane with nothing. Song have just call to a few people, said: "see? There's nothing here, your honesty farming, don't look for excuses to delays, otherwise I can you're welcome!" Villagers dare not say what, have to irrigate fields.The next day, strange things happen. Last night went to the fields that a few armed soldiers suddenly dottiness, faint on the bed, but before the card shark come Song Youcai, that a few armed soldiers die was black. Song Youcai frightened, are the field really a ghost? Otherwise, how a few soldiers suddenly died? Practitioners to qing soldiers checked, but did not find the cause of death. Mr Song Youcai find Mr Yin and Yang, Yin and Yang and see what is going on. Mr Yin and Yang, armed soldiers have some scratches on the leg, just like being folded claws scratched. Mr Yin said: "the song butler, that ye may be several army spectre, claimed lives, you are far away from the land." Hearing this, the Song Youcai away from the land? That you do, I away from how to club?Off the Mr Yin and Yang, Song Youcai turned a circle into the ground and found a field weeds grew up, if you don't grasp sowing seeds, the delayed harvest. Song Youcai with armed soldiers arresting people from door to door, forced villagers weeding seeding. Work in ghosts, folks are all afraid of the fields were all Dally. Song Youcai smoke with clear of the soldiers with a whip in one side, the end of the day, the land finally finished packing.In the evening, Song Youcai suddenly feel groggy, looked down and his legs have appeared in the claws scratched with scratches. Said his heart is bad, want to call a person, please advice, but already late, at present one black fell on the bed.That night, Song Youcai and the whipping folks in the field of armed soldiers were all covered in black is dead. The remaining few soldiers, the field is really a ghost, ran, report to the general song.A few armed soldiers gone to Beijing, overnight to shoot Dong Zhimin lieutenant report. Song lieutenant or not, with a band of men came to the field. Asked where folks in ghosts. Point buried Dong Zhimin local villagers, said: "the place, someone talking in the night, several people went to die on the place, we can't go to that place." Song lieutenant spirit, personally take shovel to that piece of ground, and digging shovel. He shoveled away that piece of ground with weeds, a shovel shovel to dig deep to smashing the Dong Zhimin dug up the remains, see what he has fresh. Song lieutenant to dig for a moment, suddenly feel blacked out, again want to dig has no strength. Guards, mixed, hurriedly song lieutenant rush to send army to song lieutenant to see the doctor. But doctor hasn't arrived yet, song lieutenant are all black, was dead. Under this, soldiers are dumbfounded, the song lieutenant corpse back to Beijing, from then on no one dared to the field.Soldiers are fired, villagers also nobody dared to the plots of land, be afraid of the ghost of Dong Zhimin also find settled accounts with them. At that time, Dong Zhimin eldest son the villagers gather up, said: "everyone at ease farming at a later time, the field doesn't have a my dad's soul, and that is what I use a meter, scare is trying to clear a dog, our house from sichuan, dad has always retained a wild carefully Li, the seeds of this grass to be toxic, burr cut skin, people will be poisoned, dad died, in retaliation for dad, I just planted in the field wild carefully Li, also lie in the path of buried dad a skin tube, and in the evening, I in the distance to the skin tube propaganda, we heard the sound of a field, qing dogs were wild carefully Li poison, but you don't worry, because I put the cure in our drinking water, under the well, the black dog ring my back to us, let's also then, if dad knew we managed to, also it can rest in peace." Hearing this, the villagers all secretly nod, it was like father like son! So, everybody unanimously elected as the leader, the son of Dong Zhimin continue to kind of land, revenue for the three village of public welfare undertakings.感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。
雷死你的英语笑话大全
雷死你的英语笑话大全笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
本文是雷死你的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!Problem with gas放屁的问题A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 timessince I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting becausethey don't smell and are silent."有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。
其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。
事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。
”The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."医生说：“好的，我明白了。
吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。
”The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know whatthe hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let'sstart working on your hearing."医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。
英语暴笑笑话
英语暴笑笑话暴笑英语笑话一：The Cemetery Shortcut为抄近路走墓地Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.正当两人害怕得浑身颤抖时，他们看到是个老头拿着铁锤和凿子，在一块墓石上凿着什么。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口气说，“你把我们吓得半死啊，我们还以为遇上鬼了呢!那么晚了你在这里做什么?”"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"“那帮白痴!”老头抱怨道，“他们把我名字拼错啦!”【注释】1. Just for laughs 这个俗语在不同情况下，它的意思略有不同。
令人喷饭英语笑话大全
令人喷饭经典英语笑话大全导语：笑话大多提醒生活中乖谬的现象，具有挖苦性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高低之分。
YJ你挑选了令人喷饭的英语经典笑话大全，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!1 As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I postedthat sign, people kept tripping over him!"一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。
“这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。
笑到停不下来的英语笑话大全
笑到停不下来的英语笑话大全笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇一Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?谁在放屁?A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.有位年轻人第一次去拜访女朋友的父母亲。
He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastricdistress.他好紧张，紧张到肠胃不舒服。
Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.令人苦恼的是，他急着要排除肠内的空气。
Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "于是他放了个臭得要命的闷屁。
"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.“路宝!”女朋友的妈妈警告家里的狗。
The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out ofhis difficultieis.那个老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一个解决难题的方法来。
Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.他急于舒解，便放了一个更大的响屁。
"Rover!" shouted the mother.“路宝!”妈妈又一次叫着她家的狗。
Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.年轻人以为他的问题已经结束了，于是他放了一个连窗户都为之振动的大响屁。
爆笑英式英语笑话
爆笑英式英语笑话爆笑英式英语笑话汇总Is he dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。
一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。
那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。
当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
The blonde and the farmerThere was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。
笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。
小编精心收集了关于校园英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!关于校园英语小笑话带翻译篇1While on vacation in San Francisco, my sister developed a toothache. The hotel desk clerk recommended a dentist. Susan, who dislikes heights, was horrified to discover that she was located on the 14th floor of a skyscraper, with two of the office walls made entirely of glass.在旧金山度假时，我姐姐牙病犯了。
这个酒店前台推荐了一个牙医。
苏珊有恐高症，发现自己在两边都是玻璃墙14层大楼时，吓坏了。
Susan was sitting rigidly in the examination chair, clutching its sides, when the dentist came in. “Are you always this nervous?” he asked.苏珊很和僵硬的坐在检查座位上，紧紧握住椅子的两旁，当医生进来时，看到这种情况就问，你一直这么紧张吗?It’s just that I ‘m not used to being up this high,” Susan replied, eyes closed.苏珊闭着眼睛回答：只是我不习惯待在这么高的地方“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. Then he lowered her chair six inches.“不好意思啊，”他说。
然后就把椅子调低了6英尺。
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译篇2I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn’t resistbragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, “That’s not bad for a man of my age.”我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
爆笑死人英语笑话大全
爆笑死人英语笑话大全导读：我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《爆笑死人英语笑话大全》的内容，具体内容：在民间文学的各种体裁中 ,民间笑话的材料很多 ,也是时下最为流行的民间叙事类型。
我精心收集了爆笑死人英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑死人英语笑话篇1Satan Him...在民间文学的各种体裁中 ,民间笑话的材料很多 ,也是时下最为流行的民间叙事类型。
我精心收集了爆笑死人英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑死人英语笑话篇1Satan HimselfOne bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Gods ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said,"Dont you know who I am?"The man replied, "Yep, sure do."Satan asked, "Arent you afraid of me?""Nope, sure aint," said the man.Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why arent you afraid of me?"The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."爆笑死人英语笑话篇2Letter from GodOne day God was looking down to earth and saw all the evil going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out. So, he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time. When she returned she told God yes, it is bad on earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.Well, He thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel, to get both points of view. So, God called a male angel and sent him to earth for a time. When the male angel returned, he went to God and told him yes, the earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.God said this was not good. He would send a letter to the 5% that was good and encourage them, something to help them keep going. Doyou know what that letter said?Oh, you didnt get one either?爆笑死人英语笑话篇3Pray for meOne Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.Just before leaving the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"爆笑死人英语笑话篇4Last RitesThe priest was preparing a man for his long days journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing so the priest repeated his order.Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"The dying man said, "Until I know where Im heading, I dont thinkI ought to aggravateanybody."爆笑死人英语笑话篇5Office prayerGrant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. AMEN!。
关于英语简短笑话大全爆笑
关于英语简短笑话大全爆笑关于英语简短笑话大全爆笑民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了关于简短爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习! 关于简短爆笑英语笑话篇1Liar,Liar骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”关于简短爆笑英语笑话篇2黑人英语The black couple already had eight children, and Lula Maywas pregnantwith her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。