Howdoyouknowthat-_英语笑话

十个简短的英语小笑话

十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。

小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。

”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。

关于英语小笑话简单爆笑

关于英语小笑话简单爆笑篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。

有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。

” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。

过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。

他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。

外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。

翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。

”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。

翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。

A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。

A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。

英语爆笑小笑话12篇

英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。

史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译

史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

关于学习的英语笑话

关于学习的英语笑话下面是店铺整理的关于学习的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

关于学习的英语笑话：某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足?为什么?当然是有六个孩子的那个，因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。

关于学习的英语笑话：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇：英语笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and s aid: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。

英语搞笑笑话8篇

英语搞笑笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。

来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。

吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

英语搞笑笑话：Fried chickenIn class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。

然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。

简单易懂的英语笑话

简单易懂的英语笑话1、Who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”一个老师问她的学生：“谁是世界上第一个男人”“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.一个小男孩立刻大声说：“乔治.华盛顿。

”“How do you make out that George Washington was thefirst man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生：“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。

”“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”这个男孩子说：“因为，他是第一个挑起战争，第一个主张和平，并且是第一个深得民心的人。

”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”这时，有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来，老师问他，“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”男孩答复说：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿，因为历史书上说，乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了，所以在他之前，当然还有一个男的啦。

幽默英语笑话合集4篇

幽默英语笑话合集4篇幽默英语笑话1a lady lost her handbag.it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.looking in her purse,she commented,"hmmm....that's funny.when i lost my bag there was a$20bill in it.now there are twenty$1bills."一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。

她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。

”the boy quickly replied,"that's right,lady.the last time i found a lady's purse,she didn't have any change for a reward."“没错，夫人。

”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。

”幽默英语笑话2幽默英语笑话**笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。

而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。

阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!有关于幽默英语笑话：Goldfish PassingLittle Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,he politely asked,"What are you doing there, Nancy?""My goldfish died,"replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."The neighbor was very concerned."That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,"That's because he's inside your fricking cat."有关于幽默英语笑话：Playing Octopushis guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says,"I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it.He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says,"Come on now!Playit!"The octopus replies,"What do you mean play it?!If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it,I'm gonna screw it!"有关于幽默英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.However,as soon as he starts to draw a crowd,the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,a gorilla,has died suddenly.The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.The mime accepts.The next morning,before the crowd arrives,the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage.He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants,play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.However,eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires.He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,he climbs to the top of his cage,crawls across a partition,and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.Of course,this makes the lion furious,but the crowd loves it.At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.Well,this goes on for some time.The mime keeps taunting the lion,the crowds grow larger,and his salary keeps going up.Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion,he slips and falls.The mime is terrified.The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.Finally,the mime starts screaming and yelling,"Help,Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces.The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,"Shut up you idiot!Do you want to get us both fired?"幽默英语笑话3a sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.now,children,said she,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。

英语幽默笑话带翻译

英语幽默笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1、"Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。

老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。

他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。

”第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。

英文乌龙笑话六

orrow your nipple." 她淘气地用手比了一下自己的胸部， "Benlin, This is nipple. You
want to borrow this?" 这时我羞红了脸，急忙辩解，"No. No. No. I want to borrow
this." (口语不通只好用比的了... 我指着桌上的小镊子给她看。)，她故作正经说，"Benlin, this is call
狗，我是说牛头狗队输了，不是我的狗走丢了。)编按: Bulldogs (牛头狗) 是 University of Georgia 的
校队名称，老美一般喜欢昵称 Bulldogs 为 Dogs. 而该校的女子校队则称为 Lady Bulldogs 或 Lady Do
gs. 7. Can I borrow your nipper? 我能借你的小镊子吗？有一次因实验所需，必须用到小镊子，但我们实验
ICQ 上的基本资料，年纪 20，自我介绍是，"Yi-Ling, she is my love." 我看了大吃一惊，女同性恋？不会吧
？我禁不住自己的好奇心，半开玩笑地说，"Don't tell me you are lesbian." (别告诉我你是女同性恋)
"Who is your love, Yi-Ling?" (这个 Yi-Ling 倒底是谁啊？) 大家猜猜她的回答是什麽？"She
is my daughter." 呵呵... 我大吃一惊，不过她还蛮诚实的，她说她就想嫁给亚洲人，因为她小女儿的生父是香港人...
但後来因为一些事情，所以啦，现在还在徵求亚洲籍男友中。不过她长的真的蛮漂亮的，我告诉她我的网页有很多 Asian 在看，所以她也同意

英语经典笑话

英语经典笑话经典英语小笑话1：Five Months Older大五个月The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。

所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。

一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿

一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇一At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth".The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just dont tell your father."Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please dont say a word to your mother."Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug."一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇二Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The motherresponded, "Honey, women dont talk about their age. Youll learn this as you get older.Little Johnny then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weight?" Her mother responded again, "Thats another thing women dont talk about. Youll learn this too, as you grow up."Little Johnny still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I dont want to talk about it now."The Little Johnny , frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friends house to play. He consults with his friend about him and her mothers conversation. His friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mothers drivers license. Its just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."Later, the Little Johnny and her mother are out and about again. The Little Johnny starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, Youre 32 years old."The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"The Little Johnny shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?", said the mother again.The Little Johnny says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇三A father passing by his sons bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.It was addressed, DADWith the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that Im writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.Ive been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But its not only the passion dad, shes pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.Dont worry Dad, Im 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday Im sure well be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.Your loving son,JonPS - Dad, none of the above is true. Im over at Tylers house. My report card is in my desk drawer. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life. Call me when its safe to come home .。

英语经典笑话9篇

英语经典笑话9篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

英语经典笑话：A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。

”英语经典笑话：The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots，but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied：“Sixteen men and a sergeant，sir.” “Right;but how do you know there's a sergeant there?” “He's not doing any digging,sir.”班里正在进行“视力训练”。

一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。

采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。

但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。

爆笑英语笑话中英文对照

英语笑话【Laughter】Recently,I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chair of a dining set bought from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager.“You’ll never beileve this one,”I told the office manager.“I just got a call from a customer who bought some chair from us in the 1930s.”Before I could finish,he interrupted and said,“Don’t tell me she hasn’t received them yet!”最近，我接到一个妇女的电话。

她上个世纪30年代从我们这里买了一套餐厅家具，现在想来换一些椅子。

我跟她说我们可以帮忙，并向部门经理提了出来。

“你肯定不会相信，”我对部门经理说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在30年代就从我们这买了一些椅子。

”我还没来得及说完，经理就打断我说：“不要告诉我她到现在还没有收到货啊！”Man:Why did you make women so beautiful?God:So that you will love them.Man:But why did you make them so dumb?God:So that they will lov you.男子：你为什么让女人生得那么美？上帝：这样你才会爱上她们呀！男子：可你为什么又让女人那么笨呢？上帝：这样她们才会爱上你呀！Father:Is the school closed today?Son:No,Dad.It’s poen.I came home early.Father:How did you do that?Son:I told my teacher I had a new baby brother and had to come home and help you.Father:But your mother has had twins.You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.Son:Yes,I know,Dad.I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.父亲：今天学校放假了吗？儿子：没有，爸爸。

关于英语的简单笑话大全

关于英语的简单笑话大全超简短的5个英文笑话 1.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

2.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。

4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。

5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。

英语幽默笑话50篇-1-25

1. BarbersBarber: Did you have ketchup with your lunch, sir? Customer: No, I didn‘t.Barber: In that case, I seem to have slipped with the razor.barber 理发师ketchup 番茄酱customer 顾客case 情形in that case 那样的话seem 似乎slip 滑落razor 剃刀；刮胡刀2. Blame It on My Parents Doctor: I can‘t do anything about your condition.I‘m afraid it‘s hereditary.Patient: In that case, send the bill to my parents.blame sth. on sb. 把某事归咎于某人condition 情形hereditary 遗传的patient 病人bill 帐单3. Wild Duck―Waiter, do you have any wild duck?‖―No, sir. But I can irritate a tame one for you.‖wild 野生的；狂暴的irritate 激怒tame 温驯的；柔顺的4. worse than That―Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don‘t think I deserve a zero.‖―Neither do I. But that‘s the lowest grade I‘m allowed to give.‖professor 教授do one’s best尽力deserve 应得zero 零grade 分数allow 允许5. Getting Sick―Y our application says you left your last job because of sickness. Could you explain that, please?‖―Certainly. My boss got sick of me.‖application 申请书last 上一个sickness 疾病explain 解释certainly 当然boss 老板get sick of 厌恶；厌倦6. Be ResponsibleEmployer: In this job we need someone who is responsible. Applicant: I‘m the one you want. On my last job,every time anything went wrong, theysaid I was responsible.responsible 有责任感的；须负责任的employer 雇主applicant 应征者；申请人last 上一个go wrong 出毛病7. OverweightPatient: It isn‘t possible that I‘m as overweight as you say! Doctor: Maybe you‘d prefer to look at it a different way. According to this chart, you‘re teninches too short.overweight 超重；超重的prefer 比较喜欢(in) a different way以不同的方式according to根据chart 图表inch 英寸short 矮的8. Sore Eye―Every time I have a cup of coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye. What shall I do?‖―Take the spoon out of your cup.‖sore 疼痛的stabbing 刺痛的pain 疼痛stabbing pain 刺痛spoon 汤匙9. LoanJohn: Lend me fifty.Jack: I have only forty.John: Well, then let me have the forty and you can owe me the ten.loan 借钱；贷款lend 借（出）owe 欠10. RaiseEmployee: I‘ve been here for 11 years doing three men‘s work for one man‘s pay. Now I want a raise.Boss: Well, I can‘t give you a raise, but if you‘ll tell me who the other two men are, I‘ll fire them.raise 加薪employee 员工pay 薪水(= salary)boss 老板fire 开除，解雇11. Loss of V oiceOne guy goes to a doctor and says, ―Doctor, my wife has recently lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?‖The doctor replies, ―Try to come home at 3 in the morning!‖loss 丧失voice 声音guy 人；家伙recently 最近get back 恢复；找回reply 回答12. Paint My HouseThere was a hooker who met an old man, and said, ―Give me twenty dollars. I‘ll do anything you want.‖―Okay,‖ he said, taking out a twenty dollar bill. ―Paint my house.‖paint 油漆hooker 妓女bill 纸钞13. V ery Stupid RobbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, ―I hear sirens. Jump!‖The second one said, ―But we‘re on the 13th floor!‖The first one screamed back, ―This is no time to be superstitions!‖stupid 愚笨的robber 窃贼；强盗rob 偷取；抢siren 警报器jump 跳floor 楼层scream 大叫；尖叫no 绝不是superstitious 迷信的14. Excuse for SpeedingA cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asked for the driver‘s license, the driver argued, ―Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me.‖excuse 理由；借口speeding 超速cop 警察pull over把（车）停在路边highway 公路as for要license 执照driver’s license驾照argue 争辩distance 距离in back of 在~后面（= at the back of）15. Vitamin―I‘d like some vitamins for my son.‖‗Vitamin A, B or C?‖ asked the pharmacist.―It doesn‘t matter. He can‘t read yet.‖vitamin 维他命pharmacist 药剂师matter 重要；有关系read 识字16. Like Father, Like Son―When Abraham Lincoln was your age,‖the father told his son, ―he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.‖―Really?‖the kid said. ―Well, when he was your age, he was president.‖Like father, like son.【谚】有其父必有其子。