英语笑话-Prepare Yourself 自己做好准备

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2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。

”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。

老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。

老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。

等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。

爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。

”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。

爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。

你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。

你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。

”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。

就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。

”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。

快乐带我走2013·06四级准备幽默版

快乐带我走2013·06四级准备幽默版

快乐带我走
考前准备
☆关注天气变化,注意衣服的增减,必要时备齐雨具。

☆饮食合理,食物以清淡易消化的为主。

☆作息规律,早睡早起,睡前一杯热牛奶,保证充足良好的睡眠。

☆检查必备物品:准考证、学生证、身份证、2B铅笔(多准备一支或是将笔的两头都削好)、橡皮、黑色签字笔或钢笔、调频收音机(检查耳机电池是否完好,调频是否收听清晰)、手表。

考试现场
☆备考四级的考生要早些起来,得要吃早饭,精力充沛才能积极应考。

备考六级的考生要保证午睡。

☆适当饮水,避免考试中途上厕所,浪费时间,分散精力。

☆听一套真题听力,让自己快速进入状态。

☆提前半小时进考张,避免时间仓促引起紧张。

☆调适自己,紧张的话就深呼吸,或用心理暗示法,对自己说“我能行”。

☆调试收音机,调到当地的收听频率。

☆认真填写答题卡信息,包括姓名、准考证号、A/B卷(勿忘),填后认真核对。

☆浏览答题卡,注意答题卡排列方式,避免涂答案时和题号不对应。

☆考试开始,试卷发下来后,核对试卷页数是否正确,有无空白。

☆答题时,集中精力,应用各种技巧。

做题时不要遗漏,不把也要涂答案,避免因时间紧张忘涂答案,或出现错涂答案的情况。

简短的英语笑话带翻译

简短的英语笑话带翻译

简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一:短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! =================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了92 条金鱼。

弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?斯丹:浴室。

弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。

他的家人都站在床边。

关于学习的英语笑话

关于学习的英语笑话

关于学习的英语笑话下面是店铺整理的关于学习的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助。

关于学习的英语笑话:某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five. A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人,谁更满足?为什么?当然是有六个孩子的那个,因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。

关于学习的英语笑话:Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪,蓄意的破坏) to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺,旁观者等着瞧好戏。

简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)

简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)

简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里,因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳,因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。

学习简单的英文笑话

学习简单的英文笑话

学习简单的英文笑话英语作为一门国际语言,对于日常交流和职场发展都有着重要的作用。

除了学习英文的正式语言和用法,学习一些简单的英文笑话也是很有趣和有助于提高英语水平的方式。

下面将分享一些简单的英文笑话,希望能给大家带来欢乐和学习的动力。

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人获得了奖项?因为他在自己的领域表现出色!2. I used to play piano by ear.Now I use my hands.以前我靠听力弹钢琴。

现在我靠双手弹。

3. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不相信原子?因为它们构成了一切!4. How do you organize a space party?You just planet!怎样才能办一个太空派对?你只要把行星安排好!5. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一堵墙对另一堵墙说什么?我将在拐角处与你会面!6. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!自行车为什么不能独立站立?因为它累了!7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!被踩到的葡萄说了什么?什么都没有,它只是流出了一点葡萄酒!8. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?Nothing, they just waved!一个海洋对另一个海洋说什么?什么都没有,它们只是挥手示意!这些简单的英文笑话不仅语言简洁幽默,而且可以帮助我们理解英语中的双关语和幽默元素。

英语笑话

英语笑话

Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。

”“好啊!”老板吼道,“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”Which woman?One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"哪一位女人?一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵。

英语笑话带翻译爆笑

英语笑话带翻译爆笑
An impasta.
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果,让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话,不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力,还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此,学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试,感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分,它可以让人放松心情,快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中,学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言,还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话,以及它们的中文翻译,一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧!
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架?
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”(胆量)和“guts”(内脏)的双关语,十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起,给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来?
因为它两个轮胎都平了!
这个笑话使用了双关语,将“tired”(疲倦的)和“tired”(轮胎瘪了)进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁,还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短,希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

英语 小笑话 幽默

英语 小笑话 幽默

THE BOSSOne day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''''What about the green one?'' the man asks.The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''''What about the red one?'' the man asks.The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''The man says, ''What does HE do?''The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''BEAUTIFUL?There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You're cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to …beautiful‟? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”CONSTRUCTION CODEA construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning, "need", then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw".The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong withyou!?! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!''The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''CONSTRUCTION EARA construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw.He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"The guy on the street picks up an ear, "Is this it?" "No," replies the construction worker, "mine had a pencil behind it."FOOD FOR THE HUNGRYThree drifters are roaming the countryside for some time. They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it. They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food.The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers. He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition. They must have sex with her.The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods.The third guy is very hungry and agrees. He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady. The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded.So she puts on a blindfold and bends over. Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window. The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing. Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves. As he iswalking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys."Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"DEAD AGAINA funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"BILL GATES IN HELLBill Gates goes to purgatory.St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.Bill chooses Hell.About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."THE DEACON'S LAST WORDSA deacon is in the hospital and his good friend, a preacher, goes to visit him.The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed.The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies.At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, "I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here." The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, "Please, get up. You're kneeling on my oxygen hose."WIDOW'S FUTUREA woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, "Will I be acquitted?"。

英语 简单 笑话

英语 简单 笑话

I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."Y ou just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

“快点,小姐!”他喊道:“请把门关上。

”“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。

”她回答道。

“请把门关上好了,”列车员说:“其余的事由我负责。

”Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。

超级搞笑英语笑话小短文

超级搞笑英语笑话小短文

超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s,an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。

这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。

当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时,她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了,可我仍然得给他们钱。

这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure,”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand,”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。

”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。

“我可不是你该问的人,我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。

”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时,她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。

”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西,而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。

英语幽默笑话带翻译—相信自己

英语幽默笑话带翻译—相信自己

英语幽默笑话带翻译—相信自己A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam.一位有机生物学教授站在20名高年级的学生面前,正准备发期末考试的试卷。

“I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt1 out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course."“我要说的是,这个学期能够教你们我感到非常荣幸。

我明白你们都很努力,你们中的许多人在暑假之后就要去医学院深造了。

为了避免同学们因为参与本周末过多的庆祝活动而影响了学习成绩,所以有谁愿意放弃这次考试,就可以得‘B’。

”There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up, passed by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Any one else? This is1/ 2your last chance." One final student rose up and took the offer.许多学生异常惊喜,一个接一个地站了起来,从教授身边走过,对他表示感谢,并在纸上签了名。

英语笑话带翻译三分钟

英语笑话带翻译三分钟

英语笑话带翻译三分钟笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。

小编精心收集了三分钟英语笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!三分钟英语笑话带翻译篇1Photo of my wife我老婆的照片A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料martini。

喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。

简短英语冷笑话

简短英语冷笑话

简短英语冷笑话1.简短的英语笑话GoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents."Whatdidyoudow iththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?""Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"hean swered."You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."Herearetwocen tsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?""Sheistheonew hosellsthecandy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。

可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。

”NestandHairMysister,aprimaryschoolteacher,wasinformedbyoneo fherpupilsthatabirdhadbuiltitsnestinthetreeoutsidetheclassr oom."Whatkindofbird?"mysisterasked."Ididn'tseethebird,ma'am ,onlythenest,"repliedthechild."Then,canyougiveusadescriptio nofthenest?"mysisterencouragedher."Well,ma'am,itjustresembl esyourhair."Notes:(1)informv.告诉(2)nestn.窝;巢(3)descriptionn.描述(4)encouragev.鼓励(5)resemblev.相似;类似18.鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。

顺才说英语的笑话

顺才说英语的笑话

顺才说英语的笑话
这是一个关于顺才说英语的笑话:
有一天,小明去参加英语比赛。

他非常紧张,但还是努力准备了很久。

比赛开始了,主持人问小明:“请用英语造句,告诉我们什么是勤奋。

”小明紧张地想了想,然后大声说道:“My father is a taxi driver. Every day, he drived and drived and drived!”(我的爸爸是一名出租车司机。

每天,他开车、开车、开车!)
观众们听到这个回答,都哈哈大笑起来。

小明纳闷地看着他们,不明白为什么大家会笑。

主持人解释说:“小朋友,勤奋是drive而不是drived。


小明突然恍然大悟,羞愧地笑了笑,感叹道:“哇,我真的是太顺才了!”。

经典励志幽默英语段子精选

经典励志幽默英语段子精选

经典励志幽默英语段子精选看了那么多中文段子,不如来看一点英文段子解解腻吧!下面是店铺为大家整理的经典励志幽默英语段子精选,希望大家能够喜欢。

励志幽默英语段子精选(经典推荐)1、True mastery of any skill takes a lifetime.对任何技能的掌握都需要一生的刻苦操练。

2、Sweat is the lubricant of success.汗水是成功的润滑剂。

3、If you are doing your best,you will not have to worry about failure.如果你竭尽全力,你就不用担心失败。

4、Energy and persistence conquer all things.能量和坚持可以征服一切事情。

5、Bravery never goes out of fashion.勇敢永远不过时!6、Those who turn back never reach the summit.回头的人永远到不了最高峰!7、Proper preparation solves 80 percent of life's problems.适当的准备能解决生活中80%的问题。

8、Winners do what losers don't want to do.胜利者做失败者不愿意做的事!9、Every noble work is at first impossible.每一个伟大的工程最初看起来都是不可能做到的!10、We improve ourselves by victories over ourselves. There must be contests, and we must win.我们通过战胜自己来改进自我。

那里一定有竞赛,我们一定要赢!11、Giving is a reward in itself.给予本身就是一个奖赏。

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