搞笑英语话剧剧本
搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎
Heart brokenBilling：XiMenchuixueYeGuchengHuaManlouKingPanJinlianNarratage/soldierN：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you !X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. What’s your name?Y: Ha ha , I won’t change my name, no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you?X: I am XiMenchuixue.Y:Ah XiMenchuixue?X: Yes, what’s wrong?Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.X: Great, you know me !Y: But your wife is my first lover.X: WhatY抱腿: Oh, Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y: I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and athree-year-old son to be looked after by me!X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!X: 拔刀砍向Y(Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去)X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: Just drink it!X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha.Y: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you won’t forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……X可怜状: Help!Help! Where is the washroom?Y: What ?X: Toliet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see. go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a high building! You can’t miss it.X: Thanks, bye bye.X与J相遇X跑过来J举牌：Ladies roomJ: You saw me!? You animal, monster, bullshit! (一边拉拉锁一边说)I kill you!X: Oh, No! I am sorry honey, but you are so beautiful! What’s your name?J: My first name is Jinlian, and my family name is Pan.X: Oh, PanJinlian So nice name. I love you. You have the most beautiful face, nose and little lips. Would you like to marry me?J: Yes, I’d like to. But do you get married?X: Of course, ah…not! What about you?J: Um…neither am I. But do you have a ring to give me？X: I will get one for you.J: I love you. I will be right here waiting for you.N: Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring. Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time.Y: You see?? It is really terrible for a person not being good at English.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is XiMenchuixue now!H: Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: HuaManlou! Have you seen XiMenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,ha……H惊讶: So, now, you are the best in the world!Y: Clever girl.H: You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join us?Y: Yes, my pleasure.H: Ok, follow me. Let’s go to see my king!Y: Ok, Let’s go! My first lover in dreams.H: What?Y: Nothing.H:My dear king ! Let me introduce YeGucheng to you! （指Y）This is YeGucheng.K: Sit down please, YeGucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H: YeGucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , rainstorm or Aids?Y: Yes, I do.K: Gucheng , come closely. 给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停）X唱着上: Only you……(看到戒指) this ring will be mine!K: But who are you? Why should it belong to you?Y急切: King! Dear king! I must go now, my mother asks me to go back home to have dinner.X: I am XiMenchuixue. YeGucheng, come here! Give me the ringY: Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去)X转身准备离开K: Arrest him!X: I will kill anyone who is in my way, no matter he is a human being or a Buddha.S: I am the most handsome soldier in the world. My favorite is looking myself in the mirror. I am here. I am here! I am here! You can’t go, boyX拔刀捅个不停，S动作配合但不死X擦汗：I am too tired to kill you, but I will cut down your head.S: Oh, God! Where is my head? Without a head, I will be very, very ugly. World without being handsome, I would rather die. Ah…K: Ah, XiMenchuixue is really rude. You see The handsome soldier’s brain was broken into pieces. Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.N: Then, XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover with the ring. But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixue’s wife. So… what will happen next?H: My dear husband, where are you going?X: Something important! Don’t follow me.H: But the ring should be mine. (X找到了金莲, but H 也跟来了.)H: Oh, shit(捂眼). What are you doing? You little bitch, I will kill you. Nine Yin bones claw?J: HaHaHa…! My son is Li Gang, I fear nothing(自信).Who the hell are you?H: I’m his wifeJ: You have a wife? You cheated me!X: But you have a son, named Li Gang. My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影)J: My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场)H:（大喊）My heart is broken into pieces(冲背影)Fuck your sisters.N：At the same time, Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.Y: 转身准备离开K: Gucheng!? Are you going to abandon me?Y: I will!K: Why ?Y:Because I’m not a gay. Once, there was a sincere love available for me , but I did n’t cherish. Now I regret to die! If the god would give me another chance, I would have said to that girl “I love you” .If there must be a limit for it , I hope it was one night. But now ,my heart is broken(退场)K: Oh ,no. My heart is broken too. (退场)N：Every one is a fraud. Love is not a thing that you can buy whenever you want. At last, These people with broken heart go back to Tang dynasty, and they all become monks. Then……(放西游记的歌，白龙马最后出场，背后贴字“White Dragon Horse”End.。
英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：两个英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket MoneyScene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!另一个白雪公主与七个小矮人Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.篇二：搞笑英语话剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
搞笑英语话剧剧本带翻译
《The Unlucky Day》
角色：汤姆、丽莎、布朗先生（汤姆的老板）、詹姆斯（汤姆的朋友）
场景1
（汤姆准备上班。他不小心把咖啡洒在衬衫上。）
汤姆：哎呀！今天真是倒霉！首先，我把脚趾碰在桌子上，现在又把衬衫弄脏了。
场景2
（汤姆到达办公室。布朗先生走了进来。）
布朗先生：汤姆，我需要那些报告在今天中午之前交上来。它们非常重要。
Scene 5
(Tom finally finishes the reports and hands them to Mr. Brown.)
Mr. Brown: Tom, these reports are full of mistakes. You need to redo them immediately.
Mr. Brown: Tom, I need those reports by noon today. They're very important.
Tom: Yes, Mr. Brown. I'll get them to you as soon as possible.
Scene 3
(Tom goes to the copy machine to make copies of the reports. The machine suddenly breaks down.)
汤姆：谢谢你邀请我，丽莎。这绝对改变了我的今天。
丽莎：我很高兴你玩得开心。也许你的运气正在改变呢！
结局
以上剧本是一部简短的搞笑英语话剧，通过汤姆一系列倒霉的事情和最后的转机，向观众传递了积极的情绪。学生们可以通过这样的戏剧形式，轻松愉快地学习英语，提高他们的表演能力和口语表达能力。希望这个剧本能够为英语教学和学生表演活动提供一些启发和帮助。
英语舞台剧剧本,五到十分钟
《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）——金科Wanders every five miles焦仲卿Johnny(J for short) 刘兰芝Lunch(L for short)焦母Johnny’s mother(JM for short) 刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short)太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short) 强盗Burglars(AB and C)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)J: Everybody says that I’m hen pecked, but in fact, I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is WuSong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, I’m afraid of whom?My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All thisI do not care.I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!As you see , people live around here all said that I am not a man. Yes, I am not a man, I am a handsome man.(手撩头发做臭美状)(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)My God! Who can help me?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)JM(拄拐棍上):I can!(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! What’s up mum?JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“ my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’sup? （口气很不情愿）JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy……L: But……JM:Never interrupt me!L: Never interrupt me!（手势）Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny（语气重点头）, I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. I have raised（掰手指头数）ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken and……JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son. I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)Act2(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L: Mum, I’m back!LM:（惊讶睁大眼）You are back? Why? What happened?L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.（怨愤抱拳在胸前）LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! （手指向兰芝）I have already told you!（咳嗽两声）When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,（咳）I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself…… （咳咳咳）L: But, mum…… （很委屈温声细语）LM: Never interrupt me!L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to LM(大喜):Nice girl!（竖大拇指）Just now, I met the mayor`s son in the market. He said:“If your daughter h aven’t been married, I really really want to marry her!” Now you are free again, I’ll go and tell him.(下)L(惊愕):What? （手捂下巴）The mayor`s son? The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done! No, I will not marry a man like that!（扭身子撒娇）LM: But he is really handsome…L: ...ok, go ahead!Act3(J睡眼惺忪上)J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下)Er! How smelly! They are still dirty!(突然想起)Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh, I’m so hungry! But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)This is what Lunch always wears! I miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! Now she has gone. I have to cook for my mother and myself.JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch? Hasn’t she got up yet?J: Mum, can’t you remember? Lunch has gone! （手揉眼哭）JM(沉吟片刻):Well, to tell you the truth Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!Act4(J开心地走着（慢跑状步行），忽然跳出来三个强盗) J往后一跳，手放下巴下面A: Hey you!（指J）Stop and listen to us!（指自己胸口）The road is built by me!(单手人猿泰山状抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B: And I planted one tree!(竖食指做1状，亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C: If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)AB&C: Give us all your money! （齐伸手）J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A: What bad luck! This guy is broken!B: If we can not rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss LiuLanzhi next month. We can go and rob the wedding!A&B: Good idea!J(惊讶):What? What? Lunch is going to get married? It’s impossible!AB&C:Why? A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!J:But Lunch is my wife! We haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, don’t you?I’ll go with you. You take the money and I take the bride.B: Have you got any experience?J: No. But I’ve got thi s!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００强盗头头念出来)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，L盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)L(to her mother): Dont you say he is handsome? （委屈状手放下巴）LM: no! I just say he has some hands..(J和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&J: Hey you! Stop and listen to us!A: The road is built by me!B: And I planted one tree.C: If you want to go by this street---J: Give us all your money!（张开怀抱）(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J，拥抱，并躲到了J的身后，J做老母鸡张翅状护住)(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去）(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey ,how are you?L(哭状):I hurt a lot!J: Don’t cry baby. I’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)L(起身去追):Wait for me!(跑下)(音乐起Can You Celebrate)。
四人英语话剧剧本《新梁祝外传》(搞笑版)
Take Me to Your HeartAction（一）旁白：At the airport, Zhu Yingtai is going to study English in America,Liang Shanbo was seeing her off.（机场送别）梁: Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.祝: I love you, too! Don’t worry.Shanbo. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.梁: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.祝: I’ll kiss you from the other side.(抱走，走出几步回头再抱)祝：This time I really should goAction（二）旁：When Zhu Yingtai is studying in America ,her parents are planing to marry her to Mawencai，but liangshanbo doesn't know it…英母：darling darling…（拉住英父）英父：(怒气转身) No matter what you say is useless. The child's wedding can not be so hasty.英母：But dearling, Mr. Ma is so handsome and so rich, There is no doubt that this is matched for marriage. And…(被父亲打断)英父：I have told you many times, it is a new era of reform and opening-up now. We could not decide the wedding of our child.英母：D arling….The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death .But when I am standing in front of you, yet you do not know that Ma Wencai is so handsome.(马文才上，拿折扇，音乐《非》起)马：I love Yingtai so much. It doesn't matter if you accept me or not. It doesn't matter if she loves me or not ,love is right there and it is not going to change.英母：Oh, Wencai，you are coming，sit down please!马：Uncle, here are my presents，50 bottles of Maotai , three Benz and I have a big house and so on .I hope you will like them! If you promise the wedding, I will feel beyond happy .母：There is no doubt that Yingtai must be yours , you are so handsome.（被父亲打断）父：(大怒指着马）NO way !马：Why?英父：Since you asked me so sincerely,let me tell you. Do you know who is张国荣and who is Yaoming? And who is Du Minjun?马：En,…I don’t know.英父：Do you still know who I am and who you are?马：…I don’t know.英父：What do you think of yourself? You even know nothing about modern society！（转向英母）You ask me to marry our daughter to him, how can I trust him?英母：…I have nothing to say...马：But, aunt has accepted my 3 million dollars and presents.父：Money ？You think money can buy everything? True love is priceless！Only 3 million dollars… only 3 million dollars….（逐渐反应过味来）OK,you give me 3 million dollars and I will marry Yingtai to you (掏出钢笔来准备签字)Action(三)旁：A week later, Zhu Yingtai calls Liang Shanbo from America.(一周以后，祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。
搞笑话剧剧剧本
搞笑话剧剧剧本Title: Hilarious Comedy Play ScriptScene 1: Living RoomCharacters:- Tom: a clumsy and forgetful husband- Linda: Tom's practical and sensible wife- Jerry: Tom's mischievous and witty best friend- Lucy: Linda's energetic and lively sister(As the curtains rise, Tom is sitting on a couch, absentmindedly flipping through a magazine.)Tom: (muttering to himself) Where did I put my glasses? I can never find anything in this house!Linda: (enters the room, holding Tom's glasses) Tom, they were on your head again!Tom: (laughs sheepishly) Oh, right! Silly me.Scene 2: KitchenCharacters:- Chef: an eccentric and passionate cook- Waiter: clumsy and always mixing up orders(Chef is standing behind the kitchen counter, frantically cooking while Waiter is clumsily serving food to the customers.)Waiter: (carrying a tray of food, accidentally spills it on a customer) Oops! Sorry, sir! Let me get you another one.Customer: (laughs) Well, at least this meal comes with a free shower!Scene 3: ParkCharacters:- Jack: an introverted bookworm- Emily: an outgoing and adventurous girl(Jack is sitting on a park bench, engrossed in a book. Emily walks by, noticing Jack.)Emily: (curiously) What's the book about?Jack: (startled) Oh, hi! It's about ancient civilizations and their mysteries. Want to join me?Emily: (smiling) Sure, but only if you promise to take me on an adventure someday!Scene 4: OfficeCharacters:- Boss: a strict and serious manager- John: a clumsy and accident-prone employee(Boss is sitting at his desk, with John nervously standing in front.)Boss: John, I need you to be more careful with your work. We can't afford any more mistakes.John: (nervously) I'm trying, but accidents always seem to find me!(Boss accidentally knocks over a stack of papers, causing both of them to burst into laughter.)Scene 5: PartyCharacters:- Sarah: the party host- Mike: a professional party crasher(Sarah is busy arranging decorations, while Mike stealthily enters the party.)Mike: (approaching Sarah) Excuse me, miss. I believe I've RSVP'd for this party.Sarah: (confused) I don't remember inviting you.Mike: Well, I'm known for crashing parties. Can't resist the fun!(The crowd gathers around, laughing and dancing together.)Scene 6: Theatre StageCharacters:- Performers: a group of talented actors and actresses(The performers are rehearsing a hilarious comedy play. The audience bursts into laughter throughout the performance.)Scene 7: Final Scene -- Wedding(All characters are gathered at a wedding, celebrating the marriage of Tom and Linda.)Tom: (to Linda) I may be forgetful and clumsy, but you always make me laugh. That's why I married you!Linda: (smiling) And you know how to turn any situation into a comedy!(All characters raise their glasses in a toast to love, laughter, and lifelong friendships.)As the curtains fall, the laughter of the audience echoes throughout the theater, leaving them with joyful memories of an unforgettable comedy play.。
4人英语话剧剧本搞笑范文
4人英语话剧剧本搞笑范文《猫和老鼠的那点事》人物：猫（Tom）、老鼠（Jerry）、狗（Spike）、女主人（Jane）场景设定：一个豪华别墅（舞台上只有一张大床，Jerry正在床上睡觉，Tom悄悄地进来）Tom：（小声地）哈哈！终于找到你了，老鼠！Jerry：（懒洋洋地）又来了？你还真不累啊。
Tom：我需要食物，老鼠先生。
Jerry：别来烦我了，我还在睡觉呢。
Tom：那就变成食物，我就不用找了。
Jerry：你有那个本事吗？Tom：我可是猫中之王，什么本事没有？Jerry：那我变成你想吃的食物吧。
（Jerry变成了一盘大沙拉）Tom：哇！我的口水都快流出来了！（Tom伸手去够沙拉，Jerry猛地一跳，从床上跑了出去）Tom：啊！他又跑了！（Spike进来了）Spike：干吗又在这里？还不去工作？Tom：这个……我在查看家里是否有入侵者。
Spike：好吧，我睡觉去了。
（Spike走了以后，Jane进来了）Jane：Tom！你在这里干什么？Tom：我在保卫家园，女主人。
Jane：你不用保卫，这里很安全。
Tom：可是我还是想守着。
Jane：好吧，你可以守着，但是不要吓到我的客人哦。
Tom：我会注意的，女主人。
（Jane走了，Jerry又进来了）Jerry：（笑得前仰后合）哈哈哈哈，你被女主人威胁了！Tom：你这个……（追着Jerry又跑了出去）本话剧以猫和老鼠的故事为背景，融入了现实元素，加入了狗和女主人的角色。
四个角色互相嬉笑怒骂，场面十分欢快。
整个话剧运用生动的语言和夸张的表演，既搞笑又真实，给观众带来了愉悦的感受。
搞笑英文多人剧本
Posts Tagged 搞笑剧本《正义必胜》英语话剧剧本5人短剧。
搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。
人物Bunny Cheng: Bunny ChenEliza Lin: DaughterCeline Tu: Reporter et AsideSano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)——————————————————————————–SCENE IA mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.Mom: Hello~Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…Mom: Hello~Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~) Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)But the voice sounds like her dau ghter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…Mom: Eliza~Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?Mom: Ya~ are you ha ppy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.SCENE IIBecause the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangs ters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.At this moment, the girl appears.Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!Big gangster: (Hitting the sm all gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.Eliza: Never mind!Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there? Eliza: Oh… you sh ould go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.Eliza goes with the gangsters.In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.Eliza: What are you doing?Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!Eliza keeps crying.Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed) Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.SCENE IIIMother is preparing dinner.Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m h ungry.As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop. The gangster takes the phone away.Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?Mom: Bargain is my hobby.Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remembe r don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.Mom: O.K. See you then!At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor. Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?Big gangster: Where is the ransom?Mom: Release my daughter first!Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!Mom: No way!And the battle begins.Mom: Justice is always the winner.Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved. Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?Small gangster: I……Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.Eliza: Me! Me!Celine: What do you want to say?Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!Mom: My turn. My turn.Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?Mom: Well……Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle. Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.Mom: Right. And they…Celine: They want to trick you, but…Mom: But… enough. I’m hu ngry. I want to go home with my daughter.Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call wi ll often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.《出租车司机》英语话剧剧本一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情。
英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：两个英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket MoneyScene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!另一个白雪公主与七个小矮人Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.篇二：搞笑英语话剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
英语搞笑话剧剧本四人
英语搞笑话剧剧本四人 LELE was finally revised on the morning of December 16, 2020甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie<Avatar> Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I willselect three actresses who can get the chance to perform inthis film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, let's begin. At first , talent show, number one, let's welcome.乙:(风情万种,妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞吻):oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right Yeah, I'm Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you canand hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy aboutit ,(打个响指) come some music.(搞笑舞,自由发挥). (跳完,鞠躬,向观众谢幕), thank you,(面向导演), honey, is it a wonderful performance甲:(作目瞪口呆状),乙:(在甲眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok?甲:eh...my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.乙:oh no ...sweet ,you break my heart...(掩面离去)丙:oh it seems to be serious. God bless me(画个十字架,镇定地走到甲面前,伸出手), nice to meet you, director.甲:(与之握手),nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.丙:I'm Celine Dion, you know, I don't have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and(做沉思状) oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, (同学鼓掌,乙作安抚状),oh,calm down, calm down,it's just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I....甲:ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin丙:OK!!! I'll use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.near, far, wherever you arei believe that the heart does go ononce more, you opened the door(甲stop stop,丙不理,继续作深情状)and you're here in my heart,and my heart will go on and on.甲:guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.Oh, I'm dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise丁:(对着乙的背影,沉思状)to be,or not to be,it's aquestion!(走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状),I'm glad to seeyou,my dear princess.甲(做娇羞状):oh, it's really a big surprise,so what's your name?丁:My name Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan(甲,白痴的摇头),eh..,it's ok,then how about Robin Meade(摇头),and Melissa Theuriau(摇头),(丁,情绪激动),you know nothing, how can you sit in here.甲(指门,气愤状),you you you.....丁:ok ok, it doesn't matter, you needn't learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah! 甲:I don't care who you are, just show me your talent.丁:ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”!甲(起鸡皮疙瘩状):oh, I can't stand, show you the door,丁(转身离开,继续台词):If there is a time limit, I hope, it is (回头,对甲)10 thousand years.甲:oh, it's really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent , I'm dying,you three, come here,三人跑进来,乙妩媚状:honey, you like my dance,right?丙镇静状:director,you like my singing,right?丁深情状:princess,you like my poet,right?三人同声:we are past,right?甲:eh..Thank you for your eh..Wonderful performance,but,I'm sorry to tell you ....(接电话) What Nobody comes hereexcept they three,oh...god.(挂电话,低头),you three,(抬头),pass!三人欢呼,说:we make it,we are superstar!乙(甜蜜状):that's very sweet of you,we love you so much(飞个吻)甲:you know, you are not good enough now, but I'm lookforward to your you have confidence?三人齐答:yes,we do!甲伸手,三人搭上,同声,fight,fight,fight!。
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本_0
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：英语搞笑短剧剧本三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B 变化成的老头 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,Iwill ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don’t mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I’ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can’t understand......What happened?S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey’s intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I’m sorry(小声) S: What?T: I’m sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）（这个放伴奏） (谢幕)篇二：孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本搞笑小学英语小品剧本人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle , I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。
树站回后台] 兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走][农夫跟在兔子后面。
两个人走啊走。
兔子突然回头。
农夫假装看手表。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
农夫假装看天气。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
4人幽默剧本英语带翻译
4人幽默剧本英语带翻译适合4个人表演的幽默英语情节要精炼简洁，主题明确，最好在对剧本是安排好发展。
4人幽默英语剧本(一)公园记(四人课堂话剧)A(衣衫褴褛) B(衣着光鲜) C小花 E椅子 F新闻记者B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前。
A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。
B：(厌恶)让开，让开。
(然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E 上头了) A：先生，先生。
(A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B) B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了。
(看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了) C：他真愚蠢啊A：可„„先生„„您听我说„„(仍拉着B衣服的后摆)B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌!(还是没有回头看A一眼)C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢?E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。
E：先生!你的钱包丢了!你怎么这么傻啊。
A与B同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子E，吓昏过去了。
这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。
于是F就报道了这一事件。
F：大家好，我是新闻记者F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。
B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。
F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了?A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲„„F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。
是吗，椅子?E：是啊，是啊。
(E傻傻地拼命点头)C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了。
A:Sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die.B:Get away,get away,dirty man.A:Sir,sir!!B:Run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,eitherC:Hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he?A:But....sir....please listen to me.....B:Wa,why are you so disgusting!!C:Hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.E:Ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always verysilly.E:Sir!you lost your wallet!Can't you be more clever?F:Good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint. Now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.B:Wo,my god,wo,my,mum.F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.We needn't take notice of him.Let me interview the other man,Hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english......F:Dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us. Is that all right,chair?E:Yes,yes.C:Ai,men is so silly.四人英语话剧剧本The Rolling Orange人物Tom:Father OrangeKlye:Mother OrangeWallis:Older Sister OrangeJessie:Little Brother OrangeCharactersFather Orange:He is a middle-aged,considerate,and thoughtful man.Mother Orange:She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father.She is also very optimistic.Older Sister Orange:She is young ,energetic,and competitive .Little Brother Orange:He is the youngest and,therefore,a little spoiled.SCENE I 场景一：果园One Morning in an Orange Orchard.(Today is a sunny day .An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard.) Father:I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning).Mother:Well,it wasn’t the first time to be like this.Sister:A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks.Brother:That really scared me.They got out and started to climb up ladders.Sister:(Afraid suddenly) Oh!My friends were grabbed and put into large bags.I could hear them yell for help.Father:Hey!We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise,they’ll notice us.Mother:But it’s useless.Sister:Oh,God!We’re discovered!Brother:Oh!We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches.What will we do for food and water?Sister:It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers.Mother:Well,we’ll just have to do our best.Father:Yeah!SCENE IIOn a Fruit Stand.(After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour,they are placed on a fruit stand.)Sister:Gee!This place is so cold and desolate.I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall).Brother:I tried to make friends with these people on our way here,but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared.(Suddenly)Sister:Oh!Mother!How could they do that?Mother:What are you talking about?Brother:I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look).Father:What did you see?Sister:My friends were cut up and eaten.How could they do that?I’m so scared.Father:Now,children,be calm.Mother:Sh~Someone’s coming.Father:Try to be quiet.Sister:I don’t want to be taken away.Brother:Oh!My friend’s being taken away.Sister:Your friend looks so fat.Mother:If we look sour,maybe we won’t be taken away.Brother:That’s a bright idea.But how could we look sour?Mother:Now,children,stop being scared and calm down.Father:Oh!No!I’m being looked at.Mother:I told you not to eat so much.Now you look so fat and juicy.(Father is being taken away.)Brother:Oh,no,Dad!Father:(Sadly) Good bye,children.Sister:Oh!Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away.Mother:Oh,no!Brother:Stop that.Our father can’t be taken away.Mother:Look,he’s being bagged and put into a cart.Sister:Hey!The cart’s wheels are going out of the store.Brother:A car’s pulling up.Mother:Oh,no!His bag is being picked up.Sister:But it’s breaking.And Dad’s falling out.Brother:Dad’s rolling away.All:(Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL!ROLL!He’s getting away.Sister & Brother:Yip!Yip!Hurray for Dad!Mother:Oh!Thank God.。
英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow . Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is ing in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Do you still want to kill me ?X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见花满楼)Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y:You are right !H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow myking,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕：无间道H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y）this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……Y:of course.美女出场M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matterwhat happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, e . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ?Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tellyou “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?e, e…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K:Fuck you. I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）Y :do you want to go to wc?X:Yes,I……I…… do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me !I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future andtomorrow is a good beginning !K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:go home ! ?M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
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搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：Aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow. Birdsaredancinginthecold.
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.
Windiscominginsilence.
Anothermysteriousmanapproaches.
Y与X相遇．
X：oH,Iamsorrytoknockyou!
Y:,Nevermindbaby.
X:Excuseme，whoareyouonearthCouldyoutellmeyourname？
Y:,Iwon’tchangemyname!’mthemostfamous——？
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar,ximenchuixuethebestMartialArts？
X:Great,youknowme!Todayisyourdeaddate!
Y抱腿：Please,please……Don’tkillme!Letmego!
X:No,Imustkillyou!
Y:I don’!
X:Noway!Becausewearefightingnow!youknow？
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’tforceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk,verygood!？
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme？
X:Sure,must!Milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood!verygood!Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!？
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfI don’tbeatyout histime,you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach!
Y大笑：HaHa……themilkisexceedthetimelimit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状:excuseme!Help,help,Whereisthewashroomplease,tellme.
Y:Oh,Isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye(以胜利者的语气，转头,看见花满楼)
Y:Whoareyou？
H:Hua—man—-lou!Haveyouseenximenchuixue？
Y:Yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC”.
H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor!doyouwantjoininusIfyoufollowmyking,hewillgive
whatyouwant.
Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok,followme,Let’sgotoseemy king!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest!letmeintroduceyeguchengtoyou!（指Y）thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese,yegucheng.
Y:excuseme,
King:yes,Iwill.
Y:That’？
K:!Hahaha……
Y:ofcourse.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K:,nowlet’shavearitual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫
状:Yegucheng!Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascoldheadache,poor,
rich？
Y:Yes,Ido.
K:Huamanlou,!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指)thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyouwhyshoulditbelongtoyou？
Y急切:king!Dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme.
X冷酷:yegucheng!Comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿:oldbrother!Forgiveme!
X:ForgiveyouWhy？
Y:Oncetherewasachanc ebeforeme,,I’lltellyou“Iloveyou”,Iftheremustbealimitedperiod,Ihopei
tisthousandyear!
X:Youshallcheatme!allyoudidarewrong!howcanyoutellme thelady’s“WC”!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milkIloveyou.
K:Don’tsaythat“youloveme”.I’llkillyouforyousayingdir tywordtome!
X:What(侧耳装着听不到)You—kill—-mecome,come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:!
X:Howcanyoukillmehaha……
Y:Letmehaveatry!3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M:oh,whathappened（看着X，做惊吓状）areyouok（跑到西门吹雪身边）
Y:doyouwanttogotowc？
X:Yes,I……I……do.
Y:haha,themilkwasadded三聚氰胺beyondstandards.
M:you,stupid,badbehavior!goaway!
K;whywhydoyouhelphim!whoactuallyareyou？
M:actually,I’maspysendedbyLuXiaofeng,andIfellinlovewith ximenchuixue.
K惊讶:!you—you—Youare X’lover？
Y:doyouknow,youarethefirstpersonwhocheatedme!Ihatey ou.(轻声说)letmetellyou,Ｘwilldie.
M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’tdie,youshouldbealive,therearemuchhopein thefutureandtomorrowisagoodbeginnin g!
K:whatamovingstory!Iwasimpressed!
Y:lifeisaprogress,butitisdepressedthatitcannotresume!
M:lifeisaprogress,anditisdelightthatitneedn’tresume!
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:Ineveranticipateyoutreatmebythis,whytellmewhy(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M:X,oh,no,youcan’tdie,wewillgohometogether.
X:gohome!？
M:Tomorrowisanotherday!evenyouhavethelastsecondtoliv e,youshouldbealive,notonlyforme,butforourlove.
X:promiseme,you’llgetonwell,andyou’llneverletgo.
（X死）,
M:bealive!yeah,bealive!bealivewithoutahendance!。