[原创]高三英语写作教案

Topic: write a concise passage

Time: 2:55 p.m. March 17, 2002

Purpose: 1. explain why wordiness appears in writing usually.

2. Make a wordy phrase, sentence and passage concise.

3. Build up a concise passage.

Aids: CAI, computer and POH.

Procedures:

In general: 1. Pre-learning: give examples and ask students to discuss how wordiness happens.

2. Presentation: summary what students express and induce

them to think how to correct wordy sentences.

3. Practice: direct students to correct wordy phrases,

sentences, and passages and organize certain rules by

themselves.

4. Consolidation: write a concise passage according to the

given requirements (Picture story).

5. Homework: 1) Correct some other passages.

2) surf website about English Writing.

In detail:

Step I. Pre-learning.

Give two different versions of passages and ask students to compare: The two passages:

Passage one: Tom is four years old and he is energetic. One day a bike was give to him. The bike is new and it is a light blue color. Tom received the bike for his birthday. He struggled to ride his bike. He struggled for two hours. However, he was unsuccessful in riding the bike.

Passage two: Four-year-old Tom is energetic. One day, he got a light blue bike for his birthday. He struggled for two hours to ride it, but he was unsuccessful.

The hint: passage one is too long with many redundant words, while the second is concise and clear. That is what should be achieved in writing. Step II. Presentation.

Show wordy phrases and sentences. Ask students to discuss how wordiness appears and find out the way to correct them.

Sample one: The employee with anger quarreled with his boss.

(angry)

A girl likes Chinese food better. (prefer)

There are many People hunting animals for living

in the mountain. (hunters)

In the not too distant future, our dreams will come

true. (near)

He gave up school on condition of the fact that it was

necessary for him to support his family. (because) Summary one: Change phrases into single words.

Sample two: The house, which was built newly is near the sea.

(The newly-built house )

People who are interested in the job must send your

resume to our company before Friday.

(People interested in the job)

The way that is most efficient and convenient...

(the most efficient and convenient way)

While he is waiting for the bus, he always recites texts. (While waiting for the bus or Waiting for…)

Please put the money at a place where it is safe.

(please put the money at a safe place )

summary two: change clauses in phrases.

Sample three: A letter was sent by Mrs. Smith.