八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。
”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。
老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一：英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
又幽默又短的英语笑话
又幽默又短的英语笑话对于笑话，可能只是文字游戏，但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用，知道英语笑话有哪些吗?下面是小编给大家带来的又幽默又短的英语笑话_有趣的笑话英语小短文，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!又幽默又短的英语笑话(一)一切都正常A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned." "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?" "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."又幽默又短的英语笑话(二)老谋深算There was a 75-year-old multi-millionaire who had just married a beautiful 18-year-old blond girl. So his friends asked him, "How did you manage to get an 18-year-old girl to marry you, when you're 75?"And the old man replied, "I told her I was 99, so she would marry me quick!"又幽默又短的英语笑话(三)吝啬鬼的聚会The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"又幽默又短的英语笑话(四)导盲犬帮我看A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."又幽默又短的英语笑话(五)林肯过生日Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.又幽默又短的英语笑话(六)三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
三一文库（）〔最搞笑的英语小笑话十则〕*篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
”小明上英文课时跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?老师说：Goahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?老师说：Goahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："MissJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where?Where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere,everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语笑话简单易懂爆笑
英语笑话简单易懂爆笑1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了？Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高？Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体？A coin!硬币。
4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见？A needle.针。
5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢？Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思？Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢？Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑！。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短 关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话
20个英语笑话爆笑超短关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。
本文是关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话：The Clever Dog 聪明的小狗A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper.The family dog began to howl along dismally.Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, “Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?”一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。
随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。
最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗?”关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话：A smart horse 聪明的马There was a farmer who fell and broke his hipwhile he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰，飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.“That’s a pretty smart horse,” thefarmer’s friend later observed.“Well, he’s not really so smart,” the farmer said.“The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!”一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。
到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。
第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes，do you need a partner ?"“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
关于八年级英语笑话大全
关于八年级英语笑话大全笑话是一种言语体裁,笑话中蕴含丰富的文化元素,这些文化元素通常以文化特色词的形式表现出来。
下面是店铺整理的关于八年级英语笑话，欢迎阅读!关于八年级英语笑话篇一Are you a normal person?你精神正常吗?During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, 'What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?''Well...' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. 'A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup.'Noooooooo! n answered the director. 'A normal person would pull the plug.'一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢?””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。
“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。
””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。
八年级英文小笑话阅读
八年级英文小笑话阅读笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。
店铺整理了八年级英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!八年级英文小笑话篇一Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。
如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇。
八年级英文小笑话篇二Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。
初二英语笑话
初⼆英语笑话初⼆英语笑话 初⼆英语笑话⼀： A middle aged couple is watching TV when a TVEvangelist(福⾳传教⼠) comes on and promises to heal the sick."If only you would pray with Him, place your right hand in the air, and place your left hand on the afflicted(折磨的)area, the Almighty Lord will heal you."So the man places his right hand in the air and his left hand on his crotch(胯部) and his wife says "Gee honey he said heal the sick, not raise the dead!" 初⼆英语笑话⼆： "I am in desperate need of help -- or I'll go crazy. We're living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell.""Do you promise to do whatever I tell you?" said the Master gravely."I swear I shall do anything.""Very well. How many animals do you have?""A cow, a goat and six chickens.""Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week."Thedisciple(门徒，信徒) was appalled(惊骇的). But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, apitiable(可怜的) figure, moaning(呻吟) , "I'm a nervous wreck. The dirt! Thestench(恶臭) ! The noise! We're all on the verge of madness!""Go back," said the Master, "and put the animals out."The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. "How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy! 初⼆英语笑话三： A jackal(豺，⾛狗) who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you can't eat me! You can't eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, that'll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"【初⼆英语笑话】相关⽂章：11-2306-0110-0109-2009-1507-2807-2807-2707-2411-04。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.老头和老太太看了黄碟后，二人一起放声痛哭!老头边哭边说：“都快死了，才知道还有那么多姿势，亏大了!”老太太一把鼻涕一把泪的说道：“活了一辈子才知道那东西还能生吃!”2.长颈鹿发帖炫耀：你们可知道有条长脖子多好吗?吃饭时美味可以长时间地享受!夏天，凉水慢慢流过我的长脖子又是多么可口。
河马自惭形秽，只回了个”沙发“，就游走了兔子坐了个板凳，回帖问：那你呕吐过吗?3.飞机上如何就可以跟美女搞一起?登机后用余光快速扫瞄全系列机舱，找准一个目标，然后跑过去跟挤她旁边的人说道：不耐烦，行得通个位子吗?我们一起的。
接下来自然就顺理成章。
刚在深航飞机上以了一次，美女旁边的人说道：我就是她老公，你们什么时候一起了?我苦恼地说道：人世间的事谁能够说道明白呢，认错人了!(@揣摩先生)4.昨晚在超市购物，走的时候在地下停车场找出口。
不知道哪个缺德的把路标拿走了，我一顿乱转。
见一大哥向我走来，疑似工作人员，遂问：“大哥出口在哪呀?”大哥无奈地一笑：“我连车都找不到了，还找出口?找什么出口!”5.妈妈：“和你最出色的朋友吵架，你难道不害羞吗?”儿子：“可是他先用石头踢我的，所以我也就用石头投掷他了。
”妈妈：“当他先用石头投掷你的时候，你必须马上回去说我。
”儿子：“那存有什么用?我打至比你科东俄。
”6.初中的时候上语文课坐最后一排和一个同学玩扑克牌，闷金花。
我拿了一把三个老k，说，跑五圈。
他说，跟，加十圈。
我看了他一眼，你确定?他说，确定，再加明天早上早餐。
我说，开。
你先亮牌。
他拍出来jqk顺子。
我亮出三个老k，你输了。
他噌地一下站起来，指着我说，老师，他上课玩扑克牌。
7.清晨，她对他说道："老公，我昨晚把货都搬至车里了，挨打。
你回去处置下就谁知啦!"看著煮了一整夜的妻子，他可怜地说道："老婆你真好，把农活累活都自己干活了，随心所欲的事却还给我。
"笑了笑泪水已经决堤，他默默在右上角的购物车栏点下了"全部退款"。
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八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话
笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的知识。
下面是小编整理的八年级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇一
The Mean Man’s Party
The notorious(声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.
Why use my elbow and foot?
Well, gosh, was the reply, You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?
吝啬鬼的聚会
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。
为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?
天哪!吝啬鬼说，难道你还能空着手来吗?
能吗?
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇二
Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
Did you miss a step? asked his dad.
No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.
布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。
他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。
你是不是踩漏了一级台阶?爸爸问。
不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉!儿子痛苦地回答。
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇三
Customer: These shoes are much too narrow and pointed.
Shoes Cleark: That's what they' re wearing this season.
Customer: Perhaps so,but I'm still wearing last season'feet.
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.
你的咳嗽今天听上去好点了
病人：应该是好点了。
昨晚我练了一个晚上。
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇四
Teacher:How old is your father?老师：你爸爸多大了?
Sunny:As old as i am.Sunny:和我一样大.
Teacher:How is it possible 老师：这怎么可能呢?
Sunny:He became father only after i born.Sunny:他在我出生后才变成父亲的.
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇五
One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word Dady to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry Dady. His wife said to him, Darling, she is calling you. Then she turned to sleep.
选词
一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：爸-爸。
约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了爸爸这个词首先教孩子。
几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，爸-爸!她在叫你，亲爱的。
妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。
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2.初二爆笑英语笑话摘抄
3.八年级的英语笑话精选
4.最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
5.20个英语笑话爆笑超短感谢您的阅读！。