雷人有趣的英语笑话.doc

雷人有趣的英语笑话
One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell thesechickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it
is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。

他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。

然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。

所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。

国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人快乐。

告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。

陛下，那人尖声地答复：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。

一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。

"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。

"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她答复到。

"Well, e on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”。