英语小故事

1．Honesty
诚实
A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.
“Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thir ty-five.”
“I am very sorry,”said the manager,“we cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy.”
As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk, who had overheard the conversation.
“You must not be so frank and tell the truth,”said the clerk,“no office will insure you if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little.”
The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.
“Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died?”
“Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football.”
2. An American on a British Train
一个美国人乘英国火车
A young American entered a railway compartment on a British train, to discover that all seats were occupied, Including one on which was seated a small dog. To its owner, a middle-aged lady wearing a large hat, he said politely,“Excuse me, ma'am, but may I sit down?”
She said nothing, but merely sniffed and turned over the pages of her newspaper.
Again he said,“Excuse me, ma'am, but may I have this seat, please? And again she ignored him.
For a third time the young American said,“Ma'am, would you please remove your dog so that I may sit down?”
And for the third time the snooty matron totally ignored him, so he opened a window, picked up the dog, threw it out, and then sat on the empty seat.
There was a stunned silence, and then an Englishman sitting opposite said,“You know, you Yanks are the strangest people. You drive on the wrong side of the road. You eat with the fork in the wrong hand, you name the floors in the wrong numbers, and now you've just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!”
3．A Bad Foot
受伤的脚
There was a bookseller who did not like to pay for anything. One day a big box of books fell on his foot.
“Go to the doctor,”said his wife，“show that foot to him.”
“No,”he said,“I'll wait until the doctor comes to our shop next time. Then I'll ask him about my foot. If I go to see him, I shall have to pay.”
The next day the doctor came to the shop to buy some books. The bookseller told the doctor about his bad foot. The doctor looked at it and promised to help.
He took out a piece of paper and wrote something on it.“Buy this and put it on the foot before you go to bed every night.”he said.
“Thank you.”said the bookseller.“And now, sir, here are your books.”
“How much?”asked the doctor.
“Two pounds.”
“Good,”said the doctor.“I shall not have to pay you anything today.”
“Why?”asked the bookseller.
“I have e xamined your foot. I want two pounds for that. If people come to my house, I ask them to pay one pound for a small thing like that. But when I go to their houses, I usually charge two pounds. And I came here today, didn't I? Bye-bye!”
4.The Gold and the Fur Coat
金子与皮大衣
A young man and an old man were waiting for a bus at a station. They sat next to each other.
“What's that in your bag?”asked the young man, pointing to a big bag beside the old man.
“Gold, nothing but gold,”answered the old man.
The young man could hardly believe his own ears,“What?”he said to himself in surprise.“So much gold? My God! How I wish to be able to get so much gold!”Then he began to think about how to get the gold.
The old man looked tired and sleepy and it seemed t hat he could hardly keep his eyes open.“Are you sleepy, sir?”asked the young man.“Then you'd better lie down on the chair and have a good rest. Don't worry about the bus. I'll wake you up in time.”
“All right. It's very kind of you, young man.”The old ma n lay down and before long he fell asleep.
The young man took the big bag gently. But when he was about to run away, he found a corner of his fur coat was under the old man's body. Several times he tried to pull it out, but he couldn't. At last he took off his coat and went away with the bag.
The young man ran out of the station as quickly as his legs could carry him. When he reached a place where he thought the old man couldn't find him, he stopped and quickly opened the bag.
To his surprise, there was nothing but a lot of small stones in it. He hurried to the station at once. But when he got there, he found the old man was gone.
5．Shave Me First
先给我刮脸
A barber was in his shop, busily cutting a man's hair, when a handsome young stranger came in. He had a small boy with him. They sat down together and waited until the barber had finished. Then the young man told the barber to shave him and to cut the small boy's hair.
The barber said,“Do you want me to cut the boy's hair first, or to shave you?”
“Oh, shave me.”said the young man.“Then I'll go down the road and have a glass of wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.”
The young man sat down in the barber's chair, and the barber began to shave him.
When he had finished, the young man got up and said,“I'll go down the road now and have my wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.”
“All right, but I won't take long.”the barber warned him. The young man went out, the small boy obediently sat down in the barber's chair，and the barber began to cut his hair.
As he had said, he soon finished, and then the boy sat down and waited. At the end of half an hour, when the young man had still not come back, the barber said to the boy,“It is a pity that your daddy's taking such a long time. Where is h e likely to be now?”
“I can't guess,”answered the small boy.“And that man wasn't my daddy. I've never seen him before in my life.
I was playing in the street this morning, and he came up to me and asked me whether I'd like to have my hair cut without hav ing to pay anything. I said I would, because my hair was rather long, so he brought me here.”
6.The Man and His Monkey
耍猴的人
A small crowd had gathered round the entrance to the park. His curiosity aroused, Robert crossed the road to see what was happening. He found that the centre of attraction was an old man with a performing monkey. The monkey's tricks ,he soon discovered, were in no way remarkable. So after throwing a few pennies in the dirty hat which the man had placed on the pavement, Robert began to move off, along with other members of the crowd.
At this point the man suddenly let out a loud cry. Everyone turned to see what had happened. The man was bending over his monkey, which now lay quite still
on the pavement. He picked up the apparently lifeless body and, holding it close to him, began to weep. A young man stepped forward from the crowd and, taking some money from his pocket, dropped it into the hat. Robert and several other people did likewise, until the pennies in the hat were covered with silver coins. Meanwhile, the man continued to hold the dead monkey in his arms and seemed to take no notice of what was going on about him.
A few months later, Robert came across the old man again in another part of the city. The man had amonkey,bought no doubt with the money which the crowd had given him. It did not, however, seem any better at its tricks than the previous one. Robert was pleased to see that the old man was still able to earn a living, though on this occasion, having partly paid for the monkey out of his own pocket, he did not feel inclined to throw any money into the hat.
But the performance was not yet over! Once again the old man let out a loud cry. Once again the monkey lay still on the pavement. The man picked up the “dead”monkey and, clutching it in his arms, began to weep. The same young man stepped forward and threw some money into the hat. Again the crowd followed suit except for Robert. Smiling to himself, he went on his way, amazed at the man's audacity.
7.“You Failed!”
“你没及格！”
When I was at the university I studied very hard. But a lot of my friends did very little work. Some did just enough to pass exams. Others didn't do quite enough. Fred Baines was one of them. He spent more time playing games in the club than working in the library.
Once, at the end of term, we had to take an important test in chemistry. The test had a hundred questions. Beside each question we had to write“True”or “False”.While I was studying in my room the night before the test, Fred was watching television. Fred usually worried a lot the night before a test. But on that night he looked perfectly calm. Then he told me of his plan.“It's very simple. There are a hundred questions and I have to get sixty correct to pass the test. I'll take a coin into the examination room. I haven't studied a chemistry book for months, so I'm sure I'll just toss the coin. If the coin comes down on my hand with the right side up, I write“True”.If it rests with the other side up, I write“False”.That way, I'm sure I'll get sixty questions right.”
The next day Fred came cheerfully into the examination room. He sat tossing a coin for half an hour andhanded in his paper one hour earlier than the rest of us.
The next day, he saw the chemistry professor in the corridor.
“Oh, good,”he said.“Have you got the results of the test? What mark did I get?”
The professor looked at him and smiled.
“Ah, it's you, Baines. Just a minute.”
Then he reached into his pocket and took out a coin. He threw it in the air, caught it in his hand and looked at it.
“I'm terribly sorry, Baines,”he said,“You failed.”
8．Elena Was Taught a Lesson
埃琳娜受到教训
Elena was not a good student. Her head was in the clouds most of the time. She wanted to listen in class and
to study，but other things were more important, like her boyfriend, her clothes, and television. Every time she tried to concentrate on her lesson, her mind wandered.
One day, her English teacher, Mrs Green, said she was going to give an important test. She reviewed all week. Where Was Elena? She seemed to be there, but her mind was absent.
“Did you copy the questions? Did you do the exercises? Did you write your homework? Elena, wake up!
You're going to fail the test,”warned Mrs Green.
The day of the test arrived. Elena didn't study very much, and she didn't know many answers. She tried to guess but soon gave up.
Next to Elena sat Ivan, a very hardworking student. Elena didn't want to fail the test, so she decided to cheat. She knew it was wrong, but she had no way out. She began to copy all of I van's answers.
Ivan noticed Elena cheating and was very angry. Quickly he changed all his answers so that they were incorrect. So did Elena. Then, hiding his paper,hequickly changed his answers back to the way they had been. Elena wasn't quick enough and the bell rang. Ivan turned to Elena and laughed.
“Honesty is the best policy,”he said.“Now all your answers are wrong for sure.”
9.A Guide with Prejudice
带偏见的导游
In 1861 the Civil War started in the United States between the Northern and the Southern states. The war continued with great bitterness until 1865,when the Northerners were victorious. However, even today, many Southerners have not forgotten their defeat, or forgiven the Northerners.
A few years ago, a party of American tourists were going round one of the battlefields of the Civil War with a guide who came from one of the Southern states. At each place, the guide told the tourists stirring stories about how a few Southern soldiers had conquered powerful forces of Northerners there.
At last, one of the tourists, a lady who came from the North, stopped the guide and said to him,“But surely the Northern army must have won at least one victory in the Civil War?”
“Not as long as I'm the guide here, madam,”answered the Southern guide.
10.It Was Not Enough
这样还不够
A famous doctor once attended a little boy who was dangerously ill. Thanks to his skill and care this young patient recovered, and was soon able to get up and run about again. The child's mother was very grateful, and she called on the doctor to thank him for what he had done for her son.
“Doctor,”she said.“You have saved my little boy's life. I do not know how to thank you enough. I feel that money alone cannot repay you, so I have made this little purse with my own hands, as a sign of my gratitude. I hope you will accept it.”
The doctor drew himself up and said coldly,“Madam, little presents like that are very nice between friends, but a doctor needs to be paid properly for his attentions.”
The lady was too surprise d and hurt to reply for a moment. Then she said quietly,“Perhaps you will tell me what your fee is, doctor?”
“Fifty pounds,”he answered.
The lady opened the little purse that she had made and took out four fifty-pound bank notes. She handed one of them to the doctor, and put the other three back into the purse. She put the purse into her handbag, andsaying good morning to the doctor, she went out of the room.
11.Behaving Like a Lady
照女士的样子行事
Mr West intended to buy his wife a Christmas present, but he was always very busy, so he was never able to find time to go to the shops. At last, when it was the week before Christmas, and the shops were very crowded, he decided that he could not wait any longer. He worked in an office, and usually had lunch in a restaurant, but one day he bought some sandwiches, ate them quickly and went out to a big shop near his office during his lunch hour.
The shop was full of women, who were also buying presents during their lunch hour. Mr West stood politely at the edge of a crowd of women who were pushing forward to try to get to the people who were selling necklaces and ear-rings. He tried to move forwards slowly, taking his turn with the others, but more and more women were coming into the shop the whole time and pushing selfishly past him.
After half an hour, he was just as far from the people who were selling the necklaces as he had been when he came in, and his lun
ch hour was coming to an end, so he decided to change his way of doing things: he put his head down, gave a sudden loud shout and started to push his way towards the front of the crowdas hard as he could.
The women around him became v ery angry when they saw what he was doing, and began to scold him.“Why can't you behave like a gentleman?”they shouted．
“Ladies,”he answered them,“I have been behaving like a gentleman for the past half hour, and it has got me nowhere, so now I am starti ng to behave like a lady!”
12.The Hunter's Boldness
猎手胆大过人
A certain hunter had found a piece of forest where there were plenty of animals to hunt. The only trouble was that the place was very difficult to get to.
He returned from his first visit to the place in late autumn, and could not get back until the snows melted in the following spring. Then he went to the pilot of a small plane, who earned his living by carrying hunters over parts of the country where there were no roads and no railways, and asked him to take him back to his favourite piece of forest.
The pilot did not know the place, so the hunter showed it to him on the map.“But there is nowhere to land there, man!”said the pilot.“I have flown over that part of the country on my way to other places, and I know that we can't land anywhere between thi s river and these mountains.”
“I thought you were a wonderful pilot,”said the hunter.“Some of my friends said you could land a plane on a postage stamp.”
“That's right,”answered the pilot.“I can land a plane where nobody else can. But I tell you there is nowhere to land in the place you are talking about.”
“And what if I tell you that another pilot did landme there last spring?”said the hunter.
“Is that true?”asked the pilot.
“Yes, it is. I swear it.”
Well, this pilot could not let himself be beaten by another, so he a geed to take the hunter.
When they reached the place, the hunter pointed out a small spot without trees in the middle of the forest, with a steep rise at one end. The pilot thought that there was not enough room to land there, but the hunter said that the other pilot had done so the year before, so down went the plane. When it came to the rise, it turned right over onto its back. As the hunter climbed out, he smiled happily and said,“Yes, that is exactly how the other pilot manage d it last time.”
13.At the Waxworks Exhibition
在蜡像馆
One rainy Saturday afternoon, Nancy and Smith were wondering what to do, when suddenly Smith had an idea.
“I know,”he said enthusiastically,“I'll take you to a place my father used to take me to when I was a boy. No, don't ask questions; just get your umbrella and get into the car.”
Half an hour later they stopped outside a large building and Nancy laughed.
“Oh, it's the waxworks exhibition. Do you know, I've never been here before?”
And Sm ith said,“Oh, we used to come here often when I was little. There used to be a lot of famous people inside, all made of wax, but I suppose they've changed most of them now.”
While Smith was buying the tickets at the pay-desk, Nancy looked round.
“Did your mother use to come too?”she asked.
“Not very often.”Smith told her.“She used to stay at home and look after babies. Come on, up these stairs.”
At the top of the stairs stood an attendant, holding some catalogues. Nancy went up to her, openingher handbag, while Smith watched her.
“How much are the catalogues, please?”Nancy asked; but the girl didn't answer. And she didn't realize that she had been talking to a waxwork until she heard Smith laughing behind her.
14.Noise Makers
噪声制造者
Agay young man, who earned his living as a drummer in a band, had just married, and he and his wife were looking for somewhere to live. They saw a lot of places, but there was always something that one of them did not like about them. At last, however, they found a block of new flats which both of them really liked. However, there was still the problem of whether they should take one of the ground-floor flats, which had a small garden, or one of the upstairs ones.
At last they decided on a first-floor flat----not too low down and not too high up----and moved in. After they had bought furniture, carpets, curtains, and all the rest, they gave a big party to celebrate the setting up of their first home together.
It was a gay and noisy party, as all the host's friends from the band came and played their instruments. The guests danced, sang and practised on their host's drums.
Soon after one a.m. the telephone rang. The hostess went to answer it in the hall, and after she had finished, came back with a happy smile o n her face and said to her husband,“That was the man who has just moved into the flat downstairs telephoning, dear.Iam so glad we decided not to choose it. He says it is terribly noisy down there.”
15.The Bad Check
空头支票
One day a middle-aged woman telephoned her doctor.
“Doctor,”she said,“I'm having a lot of trouble with my shoulder. It hurts all the time and I can't sleep at night.”
“Come in this afternoon.”said the doctor,“and I'll have a look at it.”
That afternoon the woman went to the doctor's office. He gave her a very thorough examination, asked a lot of questions, and listened carefully to her answers.
“Well, my dear,”he said,“It looks like you have arthritis.”
“Arthritis?”she said.“Oh, no! What am I going to do?”
“Don't worry,”he answered,“I'll give you a prescription and the pain will go away．”Then the doctor took out his pen, wrote a prescription, and handed her his bill for fifty dollars. The woman opened her pocketbook, wrote out a fifty-dollar check, said goodbye, and left.
The doctor mailed the check to his bank, but a week later he was surprised to find that the check was returned to him, marked“Insufficient Funds”.Hetelephoned the woman immediately.
“I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.”he began,“but your check came back this week.”
“Oh, really?”said the woman,“That's quite a coincidence.”
“What do you mean?”asked the doctor.
“Well,”said the woman,“so did my arthritis.”
16. I've Passed My Right on to You
我把权利转让给你了
One day, Wilson was walking quietly along the road when somebody gave him a violent blow on the back of the neck. He looked behind him, and saw a young man whom he had never seen before.
“How dare you hit me like that!”shouted Wilson.
The young man said he had mistaken Wilson for a friend of his and that he thought Wilson was making a lot of noise about nothing.
This insult made Wilson even angrier, of course, and he at once arranged for the young man to be brought before a judge. There was nothing for the young man to do but to appear before the court.
Now, the judge who heard the case was a friend of the young man's father, and, although he pretended to
be quite fair, he was thinking how he could avoid punishing the young man while at the same time not appearing unjust.
Finally he sa id to Wilson,“I understand your feelings in this matter very well. Would you be satisfied if I let you hit the young man as he hit you?”
Wilson said he would not be. The young man had insulted him and should be properly punished.
“Well, then,”said the judge to the young man,“I order you to pay ten liras to Wilson.”
Ten liras was very little for such a crime, but the young man did not have it with him, so the judge allowed him to go and get it.
Wilson waited for him to return with the money. He waited an hour, he waited two hours, while the judge attended to other business.
When it was nearly time for the court to close, Wilson chose a moment when the judge was especially busy, came up quietly behind him and hit him hard on the back of the neck. The n he said to him,“I am sorry, but I can't wait any longer. When the young man comes back, tell him that I have passed my right to the ten liras on to you.”
17.Mr Brown's Four Umbrellas
布朗先生的四把伞
Mr Brown worked in a factory of a small town. He had been there for twenty years before one day he was sent to the capital for important business. He was quite excited because he had never been there before. Before he set off. he asked his wife and three daughters if they wanted him to buy something for them in London. Mrs brown began to think it over and then she said she wished her husband would be able to buy a nice umbrella for her, and so did their three daughters. As he was afraid he would forget it, he drew an umbrella on his hand. To his regret, he lost it at the station.
On the train Mr Brown sat opposite to an old woman, The woman's umbrella was so nice that he carefully looked at it and said to himself not to forget to buy a few umbrellas like it. When the train arrived at the station in London, he said good-bye to the old woman, took his bag and her umbrella and was going to get off.
“Wait a minute, sir,”shouted the old woman.“That's my umbrella!”
Now Mr Brown noticed that he had taken her umbrella. His face turned red at once and said in a hur ry,“Oh,
I'm very sorry. madam! I didn't mean it!”
Seven days later Mr Brown left the capital. To his surprise, he met the old woman and sat oppsite to her again. Looking at the four umbrellas, the old woman was satisfied with herself.“It seems that I was luckier than the other four women.”She thought.
18. Can I Help You, Madam?
您买什么，夫人？
A woman in blue jeans stood at the window of an expensive shop. Though she hesitated for a moment, she finally went in and asked to see a dress that was in the window. The assistant who served her did not like the way she was dressed. Glancing at her scornfully, he told her that the dress was sold. The woman walked out of the shop angrily and decided to punish the assistant next day.
She returned to the shop the following morning dressed in a fur-coat with a handbag in one hand and a long umbrella in the other. After seeking out the rude assistant she asked for the same dress. Not realizing who she was, the assistant was eager to serve her this time. With great difficulty, he climbed into the shop window to get the dress. As soon as she saw it, the woman said she did not like it. She enjoyed herself making the assistant bring almost everything in the window before finally buying the dress she had first asked for.
19. A Telephone Call
打来电话
At about two o'clock on a cold winter morning, a doctor drove seven miles in answer to a telephone call. On his coming the man who had called him in said:
“Doctor, I don't have a sore throat, I don't cough, I have no pain either in the side or in the back, I'm not running a temperature, but still I feel that death is near.”
The doctor felt the man's pulse, listened to his heart and lungs and examined his throat.
“Have you made your will?”he asked at last.
“Why, no doctor. Oh, doctor, it isn't true, is it? I can't believe it.”
“Do you have children? Send for them at once. Your father, too, should be called; also your----”
“I say, doctor, do you really think I'm going to die?”
The doctor looked at him hard.
“No, I don't,”he replied.“There's nothing the matter with you. But I hate to be the only man you've made a fool of on a night like this.”
20.The Friends'“Help”
朋友相帮
Mr Brown's horse was stolen at night. All of his friends were very sorry about it and came to see him together. After they had been told about it, one of them said,“Why didn't you lock the door of your stable last night? I think that it had something to do with your horse being stolen.
“You aren't a deaf man,”the second complained.“Didn't y ou hear anything at that mement? The thief must have driven the beast away out of the gate, and couldn't have carried it away on his back!”
“I agree with them,”blamed the third.“How careless you are! Every evening, before I go to bed, I lock my stable fi rst and hide the key in my box. Why didn't you do so?”
The more they said, the more excited they became. At last Mr Brown couldn't bear any more and said angrily,“I'm glad that you have come to see me. But none of you would help me either look for my hor se or catch the thief. Do you think that it's all my fault? Why don't you blame the thief?”
21.Getting Information and Direction
问路
Last week Bill had to go to New York. It was his first time there, and he didn't know his way around the city. He had a meeting at 10 o'clock, and he wanted to be on time. The meeting was in the Peterson Building on 34th Street, but Bill didn't know where that was. Seeing two men standing on a corner he asked them for directions.
“Pardon me,”he said,“but can you tell me how to get to the Peterson Building on 34th Street?”
“Sure,”answered one of the men.“You can get there in five minutes. Go to the next corner and turn left. Walk three blocks and there you are.”
But the other man said,“There's a better way. Get on t he bus here at this corner. It stops right near the Peters Building.”
“Not Peters,”Bill told him.“Peterson.”
Then the first man said,“Oh, that's on east 34th Street, not west 34th. It's quite a distance from here. You'll have to take the subway.”
But the second man told Bill,“No, don't go by subway. Take the crosstown bus. It goes to the Peters in Building.”
“Peterson. Not Petersin.”.Bill looked at hiswatch.It was almost ten o'clock.“Thanks a lot,”he said.“I think I'll take a taxi.”
As he got into the taxi he saw the two men arguing and pointing in different directions. Next time he wanted to know how to get to a place, he'd ask a police man!
22．You're Right
你说对了
Once Mr Henry went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Henry left the town, he paid thirty p
ounds for a parrot. When he came back, he began to teach the bird to speak. He tried his best, but it learned only one sentence,“You're right.”He was disappointed and said to the bird angrily，“How foolish you are!”
“You're right,”said the parrot.
The next day Mr Henry took the bird to the market and wanted to sell it for eighty pounds. Before long a fat man cam e and looked at the parrot carefully. Then he asked,“How much is it, sir?”
Mr Henry didn't hurry to answer and said,“It's a clever bird, you know. It can speak and sing.”Then he said to the bird,“Are you really worth eighty pounds, my dear?
“You're right,”said the parrot.
The fat man liked it at once and bought it. When he took it home he asked it a lot of questions, but it could only say,“You are right.”
He felt very sorry for it and said to himself angrily,“Why did I spend eighty pounds on such a foolish bird? What a fool I am!。