经典英语笑话故事大全
【英语小笑话带翻译】 20个英语笑话爆笑超短
【英语小笑话带翻译】20个英语笑话爆笑超短笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1Ivancamehomewithabloodynose伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
andhismotherasked,"Whathappened?"他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”"Akidbitme,"repliedIvan.“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
"Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan.“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
"Ihavehisearinmypocket."“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇2Theschoolgirlwassittingwithherfeetstrechedfaroutintothe aisle,个女学生坐在座位上，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里andwasbusilychewinggum,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，whentheteacherespiedher.被老师发现了"Mary!"calledtheteachersharply.“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。
"Yes,Madam?"questionedthepupil,“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。
"Takethatgumoutofyourmouthandputyourfeetin!"“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇3Amanwalksintoabarandordersabeer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
搞笑的英语笑话_超级搞笑的英语笑话精选
竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除搞笑的英语笑话_超级搞笑的英语笑话精选笑话往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
本文是超级搞笑的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!超级搞笑的英语笑话篇一汤姆是个小孩Tomisalittleboy,andheisonlysevenyearsold.oncehegoes toacinema.Itisthefirsttimeforhimtodothat.hebuysatic ketandgoesin.butaftertwoorthreeminuteshecomesout,an dbuysthesecondticketandgoesinagain.Afterafewminutes hecomesoutagainandbuysthethirdticket.Twoorthreeminu tesafterthathecomesoutandasksforanotherticket.butag irlaskshim,“whydoyoubuysomanytickets?howmanyfriendsdoyoumeet?”“No,Ihavenofriendshere,butabigwomanalwaysstopsme atthedoorandcutsupmyticket.”汤姆是个小孩，他才7岁。
当他去电影院的时候。
那时他第一次去。
他买了张票进去了。
但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。
接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊?你见到了几个朋友?""没有，我里面没朋友，但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"超级搞笑的英语笑话篇二Teacher:wouldshakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillali vetoday?student:ofcourse.hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyha slivedtoover400years.一名伟人老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?学生：当然。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
”维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小故事有哪些吗？下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译：中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译：在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语笑话故事4篇
英语笑话故事4篇下面是店铺整理的英语笑话故事4篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话故事一Jimmy is three years old.吉米3岁了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"一天，他正在窗口观望，夜幕降临。
他突然喊道：“妈妈，妈妈，快来关窗!”"Why? It's not cold, sonny."“为什么?天不冷呀，宝贝。
”"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."“是的，妈妈，可黑夜会进来。
”英语笑话故事二On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.有一次，马克·吐温从纽约起程抵达伦敦访问，《星报》认为这个消息值得登在它的晚招贴上。
但是，还有一条消息也要登上：关于爱斯科杯被盗的消息。
招贴是这样写的：马克·吐温光临爱斯科杯被盗我们相信，马克·吐温从来也没听说过这件事。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事（通用9篇）有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事，特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语爆笑笑话9篇
英语爆笑笑话9篇下面是学习啦我整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望对大家有关怀。
英语爆笑笑话：Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。
突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。
问道，一加一得几。
年轻人吓坏了，深思了很久。
回答，等于二。
神经病毫不迟疑的打死了他。
然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了英语爆笑笑话：Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我遗忘了。
女孩：应当只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。
英语爆笑笑话：HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
英语爆笑笑话六篇带翻译笑死人的
英语爆笑笑话六篇带翻译笑死人的笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
一起来看看一些爆笑的英语笑话吧，带翻译哦1.The Looney BinLate one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"疯人院一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”Notes:(1)Looney (俚语)疯子(2)inmate (n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱))(3)insane asylum (疯人院)2.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要：1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1：聪明的狗3.故事2：迟到的理由4.故事3：误解的笑话5.故事4：幸运的数字6.故事5：咖啡店的对决7.故事6：调皮的孙子8.故事7：语言障碍9.故事8：购物趣事10.故事9：意外的礼物11.故事10：简单的幸福12.总结：英语幽默小故事的启示正文：【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上，幽默无处不在，英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里，我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事，它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面，不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语，还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来，让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧！【故事1：聪明的狗】一天，一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然，狗发现了一个美味的骨头，于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图，于是对它说：“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值，我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想，用英语回答：“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑，把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们，学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2：迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑，他解释说：“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了，所以我以为是早上7点。
结果，我以最快的速度赶到公司，结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们，有时候，迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3：误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”，结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒，喊道：“我点的不是狗肉，是狗不理包子！”这个故事告诉我们，语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4：幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说：“我的车牌号是168，意味着一路发，所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果，当天他出了车祸。
有人问他：“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗？怎么还会出车祸？”他回答：“是啊，可是我忘了，168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5：咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡，服务员问他：“您要加糖吗？”顾客回答：“不用，我已经够甜了。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。
到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。
第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes，do you need a partner ?"“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
长篇英语笑话
长篇英语笑话长篇英语笑话（精选14篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
下面是小编精心为大家整理的长篇英语笑话，希望大家喜欢！长篇英语笑话篇1A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr．Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant．Dr．Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble．One day as Swift was busy with his writing， the boy rushed into his room，knocked some books out of their place，threw his parcelon the desk and said，“ my mistress has sent you two of herrab bits．” Swift turned round and said，“My boy， that is not the way to deliver your parcel．Now， you sit in my chair，watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson．” The boy sat down． Swift went out， knocked on his door and waited． The boy said“Come in．” The doctor entered，walked to his desk and said，“If you please sir，my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields．” The boy answe red，“Thank you， my boy， Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself．” The Doctor laughed， and after that， Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip．在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。
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经典英语笑话故事大全
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."
The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"
So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
A man went to see his Rabbi and said, "Rabbi, if I give up drinking, partying all night, chasing the opposite sex and start coming to Synagogue regularly instead, will I live longer?"
"No," the Rabbi replied, "It will just feel longer."
In the convent a young nun went to see the mother superior. "Mother, I want to quit the veil."
"But why, my child?"
"To become a prostitute."
"What? What are you saying?"
"I said I want to become a prostitute, mother."
"Oh, you had me worried. I thought you said protestant!"
感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。