新时代核心英语教程写作2教学课件U18
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One way to use the active voice is to make the doer of the action the subject of the sentence.
• Passive: The question “Who reads an American book?” was asked by an English critic in the 19th century.
Change wordy sentence structures when possible
To meet the need for conciseness, you can combine sentences, reduce a clause to a phrase, or reduce a long phrase to a shorter one.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Note that writers use the passive voice when the doer of an action is unknown or unimportant, or when naming the doer would shift the focus of the sentence.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
In situations that do not call for the passive voice, especially when the doer of the action is important, you should use the active voice.
Main Contents
Eliminating wordy structures
Eliminating unneeded words
Eliminating unnecessary
repetition
Difficult Points
1. Deciding when using the passive voice is unnecessary
• Ineffective: One very important quality developed by an individual during his or her first job is self-reliance. This strength was gained by myself when I was allowed by my supervisor to set up and conduct my own survey project.
Revise unnecessary expletive constructions
An expletive refers to a word that fills a space in a sentence without adding to the meaning.
Revise unnecessary expletive constБайду номын сангаасuctions
4. One’s family and social life can influence his or her behavior in society. Concise
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
ore
新时代
urriculum 核心英语教程
2 写 作
18 UNIT
Avoiding wordiness
Key Terms
conciseness 简洁 expletive construction 虚词结构 passive construction 被动结构
redundancy 赘语 wordiness 冗词赘句
Reduce clauses to phrases
You can reduce relative clauses to phrases for conciseness.
• Revised: AlphaGo, a narrow AI computer program playing the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
• Revised: “Who reads an American book?” an English critic asked in the 19th century.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Use active voice by finding a new verb, especially when you want to keep the same subject for coherence.
Combine sentences
You may be able to compress the information in a sentence into a group of words.
• Revised: AlphaGo, a narrow AI computer program playing the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
Although the passive voice fills some needs in English essays, it uses more words and is therefore wordy and even awkward sometimes.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
In situations that do not call for the passive voice, especially when the doer of the action is important, you should use the active voice.
Reduce clauses to phrases
You can reduce relative clauses to phrases for conciseness.
• Wordy: AlphaGo, which is a narrow AI computer program that plays the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
Expletive constructions often postpone the subject and diminish the effect of the sentence by putting it structure or there be structure before the subject.
Wordy
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
3. There is a man looking out of the window. Wordy
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
2. Recognizing and avoiding empty words or phrases
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
1. I applied for the job. Concise
5. At 12 o’clock midnight, Cinderella’s beautiful coach turned back to a pumpkin . Wordy
Eliminating wordy structures
Eliminating wordy structures
Wordy structures, such as expletive constructions and passive constructions, can make writing abstract and boring.
Combine sentences
You may be able to compress the information in a sentence into a group of words.
• Wordy: AlphaGo is a narrow AI computer program that plays the board game Go. It was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
• The newly bought car was stolen. (The doer of the verb steal is unknown.)
• The price of gold is reported to be going up. (The reporter is not important.)
• Passive: France was defeated by the coalition of German states led by Prussia in the FrancoGerman War.
• Revised: France lost the Franco-German War against the coalition of German states led by Prussia.
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
2. The director is worried about possible problems. These problems may include shortage of personnel, shortage of time for preparation, and shortage of enough funds for operation.
• Wordy: There are three majors offered by the computer science department.
• Revised: The computer science department offers three majors.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
• Revised: During their first jobs, many individuals develop the very important quality of self-reliance. I gained this strength when my supervisor allowed me to set up and conduct my own survey project.
Reduce clauses to phrases
You may even reduce a clause to a single word.
• Passive: The question “Who reads an American book?” was asked by an English critic in the 19th century.
Change wordy sentence structures when possible
To meet the need for conciseness, you can combine sentences, reduce a clause to a phrase, or reduce a long phrase to a shorter one.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Note that writers use the passive voice when the doer of an action is unknown or unimportant, or when naming the doer would shift the focus of the sentence.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
In situations that do not call for the passive voice, especially when the doer of the action is important, you should use the active voice.
Main Contents
Eliminating wordy structures
Eliminating unneeded words
Eliminating unnecessary
repetition
Difficult Points
1. Deciding when using the passive voice is unnecessary
• Ineffective: One very important quality developed by an individual during his or her first job is self-reliance. This strength was gained by myself when I was allowed by my supervisor to set up and conduct my own survey project.
Revise unnecessary expletive constructions
An expletive refers to a word that fills a space in a sentence without adding to the meaning.
Revise unnecessary expletive constБайду номын сангаасuctions
4. One’s family and social life can influence his or her behavior in society. Concise
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
ore
新时代
urriculum 核心英语教程
2 写 作
18 UNIT
Avoiding wordiness
Key Terms
conciseness 简洁 expletive construction 虚词结构 passive construction 被动结构
redundancy 赘语 wordiness 冗词赘句
Reduce clauses to phrases
You can reduce relative clauses to phrases for conciseness.
• Revised: AlphaGo, a narrow AI computer program playing the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
• Revised: “Who reads an American book?” an English critic asked in the 19th century.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Use active voice by finding a new verb, especially when you want to keep the same subject for coherence.
Combine sentences
You may be able to compress the information in a sentence into a group of words.
• Revised: AlphaGo, a narrow AI computer program playing the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
Although the passive voice fills some needs in English essays, it uses more words and is therefore wordy and even awkward sometimes.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
In situations that do not call for the passive voice, especially when the doer of the action is important, you should use the active voice.
Reduce clauses to phrases
You can reduce relative clauses to phrases for conciseness.
• Wordy: AlphaGo, which is a narrow AI computer program that plays the board game Go, was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
Expletive constructions often postpone the subject and diminish the effect of the sentence by putting it structure or there be structure before the subject.
Wordy
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
3. There is a man looking out of the window. Wordy
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
2. Recognizing and avoiding empty words or phrases
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
1. I applied for the job. Concise
5. At 12 o’clock midnight, Cinderella’s beautiful coach turned back to a pumpkin . Wordy
Eliminating wordy structures
Eliminating wordy structures
Wordy structures, such as expletive constructions and passive constructions, can make writing abstract and boring.
Combine sentences
You may be able to compress the information in a sentence into a group of words.
• Wordy: AlphaGo is a narrow AI computer program that plays the board game Go. It was developed by Alphabet Inc.’s Google DeepMind in London in October 2015.
• The newly bought car was stolen. (The doer of the verb steal is unknown.)
• The price of gold is reported to be going up. (The reporter is not important.)
• Passive: France was defeated by the coalition of German states led by Prussia in the FrancoGerman War.
• Revised: France lost the Franco-German War against the coalition of German states led by Prussia.
Activity 1
Judge whether the following sentences are concise or wordy.
2. The director is worried about possible problems. These problems may include shortage of personnel, shortage of time for preparation, and shortage of enough funds for operation.
• Wordy: There are three majors offered by the computer science department.
• Revised: The computer science department offers three majors.
Revise unnecessary passive constructions
• Revised: During their first jobs, many individuals develop the very important quality of self-reliance. I gained this strength when my supervisor allowed me to set up and conduct my own survey project.
Reduce clauses to phrases
You may even reduce a clause to a single word.