雅思5分 剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文

雅思5分剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文

学生原文：

The graph shows the total number of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

In this graph, we can see the consumption of chicken experienced a erratic rise of almost 100 Grans per person per week during 25 years. Then, the consumption of fish always rank the last. And the consumption of the Lamp underwent a erratic decline from 1976 to 2004.

In the spite of the fact that from 1979 to 1984 withnessed a wild fluctuation rise in consumption of Beef, when it experienced a sharply decline over last 20 years. While the consumption of chicken underwent a erratic rise from 1979 to 2004. After that, the consumption of fish almost remain the same level at 50 grans per person per week in 25 years. And subsequently, the comsuption of lamb showed a moderate decline, dropping by almost 50 Grans per person per week in 25 years, and the consumption of chicken surpassed it in the early 5 years.

老师批改及评语：

本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。

总评5.0 （TA5.0 CC4.5 LR5.0 GRA4.5）

1.语法问题数量不多，但是从句没有主句的问题比较严重。请注意。

2.句式变化可以，但是句子之间的连接：1）连接词常不对。2）句子与句子之间的逻辑联系没有。

请联系写同一根线从前往后写。这里给你一个写牛肉的范例：

The consumption of beef decreased sharply during the initial 2 years to about 180 grams per person per week. Afterwards, the figure experienced a drastic growth, arriving at approximately 240 grams in 1983, after which the next 20 years saw a general downward trend despite some fluctuation, decreasing by rougly120 grams before being replaced by a slow rise to about 125 in 2004.

1.请注意词性之间的差别，尤其是形容词和名词。