高三公开课读后续写how to polish your writing

Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心

One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, forced himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. ① Driven by a sense of regret, he decided to visit the family. ②To his great surprise, the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. ③Upon thinking the family might have starved to death, he sighed with guilt. Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you lived here?”


With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, saying “Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter . Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl loudly, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse---two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.
2. The child walked out, holding the special bell in her hands. The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hands.




3. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” 4. She said to Pappy, “Hello, Dad.” With tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”
Let’s have a try!


1. Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to spend?” Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to spend?”
Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldn’t believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. She said to Pappy, “Hello, Dad.”
Grade the story
With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, saying“Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter and said to the girl loudly, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse---two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said,“Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out, holding the special bell in her hand.
How to polish your story?
润色文章的技巧
1. 使用较高级的词汇 advanced words and phrases
技 巧
2. 使用较丰富的句式 abundant sentence patterns
3. 使用恰当的连接词 proper conjunctions
How to polish your words?
How to describe your inner feelings?
1. Feeling happy/sad/angry/guilty/depressed…, 2. Driven by curiosity/a sense of regret/sympathy….或 者是 Deeply touched/ moved by… 3. …., full of regret/anger/fear/gratitude/sadness… 4. To one’s disappointment/surprise/delight/relief/ astonishment… 5. in surprise/relief/anger 或者是with satisfaction/excitement(等于一个副词） 6. 具体的动作描写 stand frozen, jump with joy, tremble with anger, with tears filling one’s eyes, with one’s eyes wide open 等等
Let’s compare！
① Driven by a sense of ① He decided to visit regret, he decided to visit the family. ②But the the family. ②To his great shabby cottage was surprise, the shabby nowhere to be found. cottage was nowhere to He only found a be found. He only found a splendid house. ③He splendid house. ③Upon thought the family thinking the family might might die. have starved to death, he sighed with guilt. In conclusion，the description of inner thoughts can make our story more logical, reasonable, creative and powerful.





declared a state of ①The government _________ emergency. ② “Get out of my house!” The officer roared ______. ③He _________ murmuredsomething in his sleep. ④Seeing the film star, the fans screamed ________ with excitement. ⑤Asked why he was late, Alex explained ________ that his car had broken down.
Tip 2：“小”词汇——增加表达效果
Brainstorming:
tell
speak
explain announce reply
declare
call out yell…
say
talk
cry out murmur whisper
respond
shout
scream roar
Tip 2：“小”词汇——增加表达效果


பைடு நூலகம்
Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心
2016年10月高考作文 23分
悲伤
快乐
Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心
2017年6月高考作文 23分
震惊
Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心

One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, forced himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. ① He decided to visit the family. ②But the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. ③He thought the family might die. Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you lived here?”

“小”心思——丰满人物内心 Inner thoughts to portray the figures “小”词汇——增加表达效果 Detailed verbs to make expressions powerful
“小”细节——丰富故事情节 Proper adv to enrich your story

Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldn’t believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. Tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”