孔雀东南飞(英语话剧剧本)

英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》

焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)—黄玲俐刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)—陈贝嘉

焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)—程芝刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)—何霜

太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)---客串,柯森强盗Burglars(ABandC)---柯森

(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)

J: Everybody says that I’m henpecked, but in fact , I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song.

(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!

(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, I’m afraid of whom?

My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighborhood. She is braver than me,

smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care. I only want her to etender

than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)

My God ! Who can help me?(下)

Act1

(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)

JM(拄拐棍上):I can!

(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?

L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! What’s up mum?

JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“ my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.

L:OK .My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

JM: Since you married my son you have been so badly .You have been so rude , so brusque , and so lazy……

L: But……

JM: Never interrupt me!

L: Never interrupt me ! Since I married your son ,that terrible Johnny ,I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. I have raised ten pigs and ducks and chicken

and……

JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!

son .I’m leaving! (扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

Act2

(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)

L: Mum, I’m back!

LM: You are back? Why? What happened?

L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.

LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you

married Johnny, I have told you that he is ugly stupid and poor man ,but you did’t listen

to me .Look at yourself……

L :But, mum……

LM: Never interrupt me!

L: Mum, I’m not interruping you .I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whomever you want me to.

LM(大喜):Nice girl! Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:“If you daughter

h aven’t been married ,I really want to marry her!”Now you are free again ,I’ll go

and tell him.(下)

L(惊愕):What? The mayor’s son? The most amous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅

铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)

(J睡眼惺忪上)

Act3

J(边走边道): Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks?

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here the yare!(闻一下) Er! How smelly ! They are still dirty!

(突然想起)Lunch has gone !I have to wash them myself.

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh, I’m so hungry! But there ’s no breakfast! (捡起地上的围

裙)This is what Lunch always wears! I miss her so much, and her excellent cookings ! Now

she has gone. I have to cook for my mother and myself.