爆笑英语翻译
最新整理英文笑话带翻译爆笑
英文笑话带翻译爆笑近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。
下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英文笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一I n a d a r k e s t n i g h t,ap o l i c e m a n w a t c h e s a s t a g g e r i n g m a n t r y i n g i n v a i n t o u n l o c k a d o o r. I s t h i s y o u r h o m e? t h e p o l i c e m a n a s k s.S u r e, I l l p r o v e i t t o y o u i f y o u h e l p m e. I n s i d e, t h e m a n e x p l a i n s, Y o u s e e, t h i s i s m y b e d r o o m. A n d t h i s i s m y w i f e.A n d w h o i s t h e m a n n e x t t o h e r?t h e p o l i c e m a n w a n t s t o k n o w.T h a t s m e!在一个漆黑的夜晚，一名警察看到一个醉醺醺的男人怎么也打不开门。
这是你家吗?警察问。
当然，如果你帮我，我将证明给你看。
走进屋里，那人说：你瞧，这是我的卧室，这是我太太。
那她身边的男人是谁?警察想知道。
那是我啊!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二T h e m a n a g e r o f a s h o p w a s y e l l i n g a t o n e o f h i s s t a f f.I s a w y o u a r g u i n g w i t h a c u s t o m e r,h e s a i dc r o s s l y. W i l l y o u p l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t i n m y s h o p t h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t?D o y o u u nde r s t a n d? Y e s,s i r,s a i d t h e a s s i s t a n t.T h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t.N o w w h a t w e r e y o u a r g u i n g a b o u t?W e l l s i r,h e s a i d y o u w e r e a n i d i o t.商店的经理正在训斥一名员工。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译
英语笑话爆笑带翻译英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇）冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
下面店铺整理了英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇），希望大家喜欢!英语笑话爆笑带翻译篇1河上漂流(中英)A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”一个男人路过旅行社时，看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天，全部费用只需40美元”。
Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.面对如此低价的诱惑，他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。
”眨眼间，旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那个人打昏了。
When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.当那个人醒来之后，发现自己被捆在一个木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译一：Drunken Humour 醉汉的幽默Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.Husband: Really? Then dont believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?Wife: I love you, dear.妻子：友爱的，你昨晚看上去真的醉了，饭桌上老唠叨一件事。
丈夫：真的吗?千万别信一个醉汉说的话，对了，我都说了什么?妻子：我爱你，友爱的。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译二：送出去还有的`东西What can Santa give away and still keep?Answer: a cold.什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?答案：感冒。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译三：圣诞老人的爱好What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.圣诞老人喜爱在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho 则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译四：Falling Down 他肯定是在吹牛A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his country.There is a building so tall, it took my friend Alex 7 hours to fall off it!Oh, my God! says his friend. Surely he must have died! Of course. He was without food or water for 3 days!一个人在吹牛，说他们国家得事情是多么不行思议。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译Title: Hilarious English Jokes with Translation。
English jokes are a great way to improve your language skills while having a good laugh. In this article, we have compiled some of the funniest English jokes with translations in Chinese. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor!1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!为什么番茄变红了？因为它看到了沙拉酱！2. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide.为什么鸡要穿过游乐场？为了到达另一张滑梯。
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.为什么饼干去看医生？因为它感觉很脆。
4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.为什么香蕉去看医生？因为它没剥好皮。
5. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems.为什么数学书看起来很难过？因为它有太多问题。
6. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?Because her students were so bright.为什么老师戴太阳镜？因为她的学生太聪明了。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑英语笑话带翻译冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。
店铺精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇1A school report学校成绩单The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。
他边看边露出愤怒的表情："English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。
”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。
但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇2A Smart Parrot聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the redstring he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】 英语小笑话带翻译
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】英语小笑话带翻译冷笑话是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，它与传统的笑话不同，有其独特的产生和理解方式。
小编整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇一Late one night at the insane asylum ,one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”Another one said, “How do you know?”The first inmate said, “God told me!”Jus t then, a voice from another roomshouted, “I did not!”一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：”我是拿破仑!”另一个说：”你怎么知道?”第一个人说：”上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：”我没说!”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇二One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go homeearlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It’s me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”我可以回家了一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：”明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。
超搞笑的英语翻译句子
超搞笑的英语翻译句子很多人学英语都比较习惯中式化，在翻译的时候，一些中式的翻译非常的搞笑，让你笑个不停哦!1. World sing how learn 我的心好冷2. Husband and wife lung slice.夫妻肺片3. We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁阿!4. Make my heart peng peng peng.怦然心动5. As far as you go to die.有多远，死多远!6. Chinese dream flying nine days.中国梦飞九天7. Dangqi dream , I have the power.荡起梦想，我有力量8. No care three seven two ten one. 不管三七二十一9. play a big knife before Guan Gong 关公面前耍大刀10. One day is your teacher, day day is your father.一日为师终身为父。
11. If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条12. One car come, one car go, two car pengpeng, one car died! (关于一场车祸的描述)13. Know is know ，no know is no know，is know 也. 知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也14. Hello everybody! if you have something to say, then say! if you have nothing to say, go home! 有事起奏，无事退朝15. You have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers!together up! 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上!。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【导语】笑话⼀般指短⼩、滑稽的故事,是⼀种民间⼝头创作形式,在民间⽂化中以⼝⼝相传的形式传播。
以下是由整理了简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!【篇⼀】简短英语笑话带翻译 Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. ⽼师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是⼗分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
⽼师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成⼗分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇⼆】简短英语笑话带翻译 One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." ⼀位学⽣对另⼀位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国⼈说话，可现在是英国⼈不懂我的话了。
” 简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么⾛ An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. "Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?" The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!" 有个很健忘的⼈站在车⽔马龙的⼗字路⼝正中央，那⾥有个警察正忙着指挥交通，⽽他不断地去⼲扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚⽅向。
英语幽默笑话带翻译
英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed; said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor; Hearing this; the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet; "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话;这个男人转动着头说:"我没死;我还活着."妻子说:"安静;医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on;but no one gives way to him."Hey;let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车;但是没有人给他让路."喂;让我上车"那位男士喊道."车太挤了;你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day; a father and his little son were going home. At this age; the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now; he asked; "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk'; dad " "Well; my son;" his father replied; "look; there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But; dad;" the boy said; " there's only ONE policeman"醉酒一天;父亲与小儿子一道回家..这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄;老是有提不完的问题..他向父亲发问道：“爸爸;‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔;孩子;”父亲回答说;“你瞧那儿站着两个警察..如果我把他们看成了四个;那么我就算醉了..” “可是;爸爸; ”孩子说;“那儿只有一个警察呀”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled; put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother; sonny. Where did you find the cheese " "In the rat-trap; sir;" replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时;家里没有奶酪了;于是女主人向大家表示歉意..这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子..过了一会儿;他拿着一片奶酪回到房间;把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.. 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子;你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好..你在哪里找到的奶酪” “在捕鼠夹上;先生..”那小男孩说..5:Dear white; something you got to know .When I was born; I was black.When I grow up; I am blackWhen I'm under the sun; I'm blackWhen I'm cold; I'm blackWhen I'm afraid; I'm black.When I'm sick; I'm black.When I die; I'm still black.you---white people;When you were born; you were pink.When you grow up; you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you; call me "color"亲爱的白种人;有几件事你必须知道.. 当我出生时;我是黑色的我长大了;我是黑色的我在阳光下;我是黑色的我寒冷时;我是黑色的我害怕时;我是黑色的我生病了;我是黑色的当我死了;我仍是黑色的..你---白种人;当你出生时;你是粉红色的..你长大了;变成白色的..你在阳光下;你是红色的..你寒冷时;你是青色的..你害怕时;你是黄色的..你生病时;你是绿色的..当你死时;你是灰色的..而你;却叫我「有色人种」6：Where is the fatherTwo brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look;" said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are" "Yes;" said the younger; "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father "The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained; "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画..“看;”哥哥说;“这些画多漂亮呀”“是啊;”弟弟说道;“可是在所有这些画中;只有妈妈和孩子..那爸爸去哪儿了呢”哥哥想了会儿;然后解释道：“很明显;他当时正在画这些画呗..”7：How Many RabbitsTeacher: Now; Jonathan; if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits; how many rabbits would you have Jonathan: Nine; sir.Teacher: NineJonathan: I've got one already; sir.多少只兔子老师：好;乔纳森;假如我给你三只兔子;第二天我又给你五只;你一共有多少只兔子乔纳森：一共有九只;先生..老师：九只乔纳森：先生;我本来就有一只..8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet;a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look;look．” she shouted while running downs tairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time;when said;“Honey;I love you;but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时..她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看;快看..我又能穿上以前的裤子了..”她丈夫看了她好一会儿;然后说：“亲爱的;我爱你..但那是我的裤子..”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment; he said; "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open; push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot ""Well; gosh;" was the reply; "You're not coming empty-hangded; are you "吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了..他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼;找中间那个门;然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃..门开了之后;再用你的脚把门推开..”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢”“你的双手得拿礼物啊..天哪;你总不会空着手来吧”吝啬鬼回答..10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation;" Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance; my mother-in-law is the minister of war; and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting; " his colleague replied. "And what is your position ""I'm the people. All I do is pay."我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样..我妻子是财政部长..我岳母是作战部长;我女儿是外交秘书..”“听上去挺有意思的;”他的同事说;“那你的职务是什么呢”“我就是老百姓..我要做的一切就是付钱..”1. What room has no walls; no doors; no windows; and no floorsA mushroom.蘑菇2. What is smaller than an insect's mouthAnything it eats.3. What large instrument do you carry in your earsDrums; that is eardrums.鼓膜4. What's too much for one; just right for two; but nothing at all for threeA secret.5. What person tried to make you smile most of the timeA photographer.6. What animal has a head like a cat; eyes like a cat; a tail like a cat; but isn't a catA kitten.小猫7. What surprising things happen every 24 hoursDay breaks; but doesn't fall; night falls; but doesn't break.8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you withouta mouthAn echo.回声9. What do you know about the kings of FranceThey are all dead.10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"Are you asleep11. Why do some old people never use glassesThey must prefer bottles to glasses.12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the houseBecause the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."13. What two words have thousands of letters in themPost office.14. What do workers do in a clock factoryThey make faces all day.15. What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters awaySixty.16. When do you go as fast as a racing carWhen you are in it.17. How many sides does a house haveTwo - inside and outside.18. What never asks any questions but always gets answersA doorbell.19. Where did Columbus stand when he discovered AmericaOn his feet.20. When the boy fell into the water; what's the first thing he didHe got wet first of all.21. Who isn't your sister and isn't your brother; but is still a child of your mother and fatherI myself.22. What has teeth but cannot eatA comb.23. What kind of man can raise things without lifting themA farmer.24. Why does time flyTo get away from all the people who are trying to kill it.25. Name five days of the week without saying: Monday; Tuesday; Wednesday; Thursday; Friday.The day before yesterday; yesterday; today; tomorrow; and the day after tomorrow.26. What animal eats and drinks with its tailAll do. No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.27. What has a soft bed but never sleeps; a big mouth but never speaksA river.28. What kind of dog never biteA hot dog.29. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York HarborBecause it can't sit down.30. What did one invisible man say to the other invisible manIt's nice not to see you again.31. What wears a cap but has no headA bottle.32. What rises in the morning and waves all dayA flag.33. What is an astronomer 天文学家A night watchman with a college education.34. How can you tell clocks and watches are shyBecause they always have their hands in front of their faces.35. What is windAir in a hurry.36. What comes after the letter "A"All the other letters.37. What starts with a T; ends with a T; and is full of TTeapot.38. What word can you make shorter by adding to itShort.39. What person does every man take his hat off toA barber.40. Why does the boy carry a ladder to the schoolBecause he wants to go to high school.41. What can you swallow that can also swallow youWater.42. What's the difference between a hill and a pillA hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.43. Why is it useless to send a letter to WashingtonBecause he's dead.44. A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl. The lawyer went away for a week and gave the girl seven apples before he left. WhyBecause an apple a day keeps the doctor away.45. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after youNothing. Because I'm a woman.46. What always travels on footA shoe.47. Where can happiness always be foundIn the dictionary.48. What is higher without a head than with a headA pillow.枕头49. Why don't you advertise for your lost dogHe can't read.50. On which side does a bird have the most feathers The outside.51. What is the best thing to keep in hot weather Cool52. What is never used until it's brokenAn egg.53. What's a skeleton 骨架It's a lot of bones without the person on them54. What is dark but made by lightA shadow.55. What can you break with only one wordSilence.56. What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it outThe light.57. A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way downa one-way street; but didn't give him a ticket. WhyBecause the truck driver was walking.58. Where can milk be best storedIn a cow.59. Which can move faster; heat or coldHeat; because you can catch cold easily.60. What's the hardest thing about learning skatingThe ice.61. What has cities with no houses; rivers without water and forests without treesA map.62. What can be measured but has no length; width or thicknessThe temperature.63. What makes the Tower of Pisa leanIt never eats.64. Why is writing called handwritingIf people wrote with their feet; we would have to call it footwriting.65. If there were only thre girls in the world; what do you think they would doTwo of them would get together ans talk about the other one.66. How many great men have been born in LondonNone. Only babies.67. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in itWhen you have a hole in your pocket.68. The greater it is; the less it can be seen. What is itDarkness.69. The more you take away; the bigger I become. What am IA hole.70. Who may marry many a wife and stay single all of his lifeA priest.牧师。
短一些的英语小笑话带翻译超级搞笑
短一些的英语小笑话带翻译超级搞笑一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。
“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。
”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along andhit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterlyabout the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"the ability of the kangaroothe zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside.the height of the fence was increased to15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. a giraffe asked the kangaroo, "how high do you thinkthey'll build the fence?""i don't know, " said the kangaroo. "maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.袋鼠的能力动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。
最神级爆笑英语翻译精编版
最神级爆笑英语翻译 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-史上最神级爆笑英语翻译1、You ask me, me ask who 你问我，我问谁2、We two who and who 咱俩谁跟谁啊！3、How are you How old are you 怎么是你，怎么老是你4、you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你5、You have seed, I will give you some color to see see. 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧。
6、Want money no，want life one! 要钱没有，要命一条！7、Love who who 爱谁谁。
8、I give you face you don’t wanna face 我给你脸你不要脸。
9、Horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎10、no money no talk 没钱免谈11、You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住！12、big one mother 大姨妈13、let the horse come on 放马过来。
14、red face know me 红颜知己15、seven up eight down 七上八下16、No three no four 不三不四17、I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。
18、heart flower angry open 心花怒放19、dry mother 干妈20、you me you me 彼此彼此21、Good good study, day day up. 好好学习，天天向上。
22、Where cool where you stay！哪凉快上哪呆着去。
23、One car come, one car go, two car pengpeng, one car died! (关于一场车祸的描述)24、People mountain people sea. 人山人海。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑的英语笑话含翻译1The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会，圣会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up exceptthe snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"“快点，小姐!他喊道：“请把门关上。
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。
她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."“请把门关上好了，列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译篇二Chaude and Cold热与冷A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头，结果被水烫伤了。
“这太可恶了，他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."“可是，先生，C代表Chaude-法语里代表‘热’。
如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道这一点。
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."“等等，那位顾客咆哮一声，“另外一个龙头同样标的是C。
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「中国英文」（Chinese English）Chinglish “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译1.we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2.You give me stop! 你给我站住3Good good study,day day up!好好学习天天向上4.Icall Liold bigtoyear25我叫李老大今年256.you have two down son你有两下子7.You ask me,I ask who？你问我，我去问谁？8.People mountain and people sea.人山人海9.seven up eight down 七上八下10.no three no four不三不四11. Moon under old man 月下老人12.Open the door see mountain开门见山13. pen see you鄙视你14.Five flowers eight doors五花八门15.I’ll give you some color to see see(我要给你点颜色看看)1.王八蛋：wang eight eggs2.白痴：White eat!3.吃白食：eat white food4.红颜知己：red face know me5.老表：old watch6.表妹：watch sister7.别唬我：don’t tiger me 8.狗娘养的：dog mother born9.作早操：do early fuck 10.不三不四：no three no four11.马马虎虎：horse horse tiger tiger 12. 你给我站住：you give me stop13.你他妈的：you he mother’s 14.你问我我去问谁：you ask me,me ask who15.猪头三去死吧：pig head 3,go dead! 16.朝三暮四：morning three night four17.怎么是你：how are you? 18. how old are you? 怎么老是你19.要钱不给，要命有一条：want money no, want life one20.三人行，必有我师：three people go, one is my teacher1.各位知不知道“让广州充满爱”的官方翻译？—Let’s make love everywhere in our Guangzhou！！2.你也许已走出我的视线,但从未走出我的思念You may be out of my sight,but never out of my mind 3怀才像怀孕时间长才能看到Having knowledge likes having pregnantit takes times to beawareness 4.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人. Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.5.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。
[误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.[正] Tastes differ。
No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy6.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。
[误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.[正] He never says uncle.注：当一方想制服另一方时就用命令说：“Say uncle!” “服输”，而not say uncle 就是“嘴硬”7.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。
[误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。
后来，人们将lick the boots 引申汉语的“拍马屁”。
在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法polish the apple，学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
8.你听说了吗？迈克把他的女朋友给甩了。
[误] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend?[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend?注：break up with sb. 虽然表示“与某人分手了”，并没说明是谁先提出来的。
而dump 指“倾倒垃圾”，这里则表示像倒垃圾一样地甩掉。
9.人都是这山望着那山高，对自己的现状没有满意的时候。
[误] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.注：“这山望着那山高”是指人不满足于现状的心理，它在英语中已经有了现成的说法，即the grass is greener on the other hill(他山的草更绿)，因此我们借用即可，10. “big river goes to the east，all the star follows beidou”，这句英文大意就是：大河向东流，天上的星星参北斗。
这首“洋气十足”的《好汉歌》的英文版挟着天雷滚滚而来.11. 人山人海：有人直译为：People mountain people sea. 这就是「中国英文」，老外很难理解。
他们指「人多」时，通常只说：「There is a large crowd of people.」12. 天下无不散的宴席：有人直译为：There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last. All good things come to an end. (意思是：所有好的事情，总有结束的一天。
)China：拆哪儿？查哪儿？圈哪儿？切哪儿？亲哪儿？去哪儿？吃哪儿？钱儿呢？English:应给利息，阴沟里洗，硬改历史，妈妈，我不想学英语了，因为老师不靠谱，还老教我们骂人：他说今天是Today，昨天也是yestoday; 他一会儿说Yes,一会儿说Nice, 一会儿说Bus,一会儿说Goose, 最后还说都guess！）中式英语按照拼音的顺序排了出来，如下表。
1.What the fuck is going on?（到底他妈的怎么回事?）2.You son of bitch! （你个狗娘养的！）3."同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
话说同学的妹妹刚上初一，学英语的积极性狂高，每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词，这天像往常一样，继续拼命的读，他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋。
小妹妹念“hands(音:汉子),hands”，“two hands(偷汉子)。
他爹听完就止不住的皱眉，一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子，心想怪不得听说外国人开放，书上都这么写。
小妹妹继续读“hands，hands，two hands(偷汉子)” I have two hands.。
汉子,偷汉子,俺还偷汉子4.话说一个国内知名企业，一天来了一个重要的外宾，下面是前台的对话。
前台小姐：“hello.”你好。
美国人：“hi.”你好。
前台小姐：“you have what thing？”你有什么事情？美国人：“can you speak English？”你能和我说英语吗？前台小姐：“if i not speak English，i am speaking what？”如果我不是在说英语，那我在说什么呢？美国人：“can anybody else speak English？”这里有别的人能说英语吗？前台小姐：“you yourself look，all people are playing ，no people have time，you can wait，you wait， you not wait，you go！”.你自己看看，所有的人都在忙着，没有人有时间，你能等你就等，你不能等你说走！美国人：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English？”我的天啦，这里没有人能讲英语吗？前台小姐：“shout what shout，quiet a little，you have what thing?”嚷什么嚷，安静一点，你还有什么事情？美国人：“i want to speak to your head.”我要找你们的头儿。
前台小姐：“head not zai . you tomorrow come！”头不在，你明天来！5..小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Goa head.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Goa head.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！6.某女领导会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到女士，立刻按照西方的习惯拍马屁道："Miss，you are very beautiful."翻译照翻，领导心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把她的话翻成英文："Where? Where?"外宾一愣，干脆马屁拍到底："Every where, every where。