《爆笑趣味英语》
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickelsA mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”英语经典爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact，my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。
英语的爆笑小笑话
英语的爆笑小笑话爆笑笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得爆笑如雷。
的英语的爆笑，喜欢的赶紧来看下吧!Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?Kid: Because of absence.孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
1.A Half-price Ticket半价票"How much is the movie ticket?"“电影票多少钱一张?”"Ten dollars, kid."“10美元，孩子。
”"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll seeit only with one eye."“我只有5美元。
请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。
”“All the kids make fun of me.” the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don't listen to them.”his mother forted him.“You have a beautiful head . Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where's the shopping bag?”“I haven't got one,use your hat.“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。
爆笑英语冷笑话10篇
爆笑英语冷笑话10篇下面是学习啦我整理的爆笑英语冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!爆笑英语冷笑话：Whose father was the strongerWill and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.Will said, Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My fathers the one who dug the hole for it.Bill wasnt impressed, Well, thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My fathers the one who killed it!维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。
维尔说："你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。
'比尔不屑地说："那没什么。
你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。
'爆笑英语冷笑话：Persistance 缠住不放Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避开作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?丈夫打完〔高尔夫球〕回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。
爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球竞赛，是你还是理查叔叔?我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。
爆笑趣味英语小知识
爆笑趣味英语小知识1.What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?怪物和老鼠有什么区别？A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board!怪兽在壁脚板弄的洞会比较大！The 'skirting board' is a piece of wood between the floor and the wall. Sometimes mice make holes in the skirting board.“壁脚板”是地板和墙壁之间的一块木材。
有时老鼠在壁脚板挖洞。
2.How can you tell if you have had a monster in your fridge?你怎么知道你的冰箱里有怪物？It leaves footprints in the butter!它在黄油里留下脚印！Footprints are the marks that your feet or shoes leave when you walk on sand or mud.脚印是你的脚或鞋子在沙滩或泥上行走时留下的痕迹。
3.What did the porcupine say when he put his coat on inside out?当豪猪把外套穿在里面的时候他会说什么？Ouch!哎哟!A porcupine is like a hedgehog, it has very spiky skin. When you have your coat on 'inside out' it means you have the inside on the outside so it's the wrong way round!豪猪像一只刺猬，它的皮肤有尖刺。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译Title: Hilarious English Jokes with Translation。
English jokes are a great way to improve your language skills while having a good laugh. In this article, we have compiled some of the funniest English jokes with translations in Chinese. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor!1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!为什么番茄变红了？因为它看到了沙拉酱！2. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide.为什么鸡要穿过游乐场？为了到达另一张滑梯。
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.为什么饼干去看医生？因为它感觉很脆。
4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.为什么香蕉去看医生？因为它没剥好皮。
5. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems.为什么数学书看起来很难过？因为它有太多问题。
6. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?Because her students were so bright.为什么老师戴太阳镜？因为她的学生太聪明了。
饭馆爆笑趣味英语单词记忆法
爆笑有趣英语单词记忆法如下：
爆笑(1)：警察跑累死
police，n,警察，音“跑累死”。
警察的最终结局是“跑累死”，因为小偷可以选择休息，而警察不能，警察永远跟在多个小偷的后面。
爆笑(2)：饱死老板，饿死员工
boss，n，老板，音“饱死”。
worker，n，工人，音“饿客”。
工人们不要不平衡，老板会撑而“饱死”，工人是“饿客”，饿，不一定死。
或者说，饱死老板，饿死员工，与老板殊途同归。
爆笑(3)：法官会“榨汁”
judge，n，法官，音“榨汁”，又音“喳吱”。
社会上有种说法“吃了原告，吃被告。
”有些法官会“榨汗”，榨原告被告的油汁。
法官喳喳吱吱时候，是在纠问式审判，现在是听判式，法官很少“喳吱”了。
爆笑(4)：律师老爷
lawyer，n,律师，音“老爷”。
有个被告叫律师老爷，忘了叫法官青天大老爷，法官非常生气。
毕竞法官比律师说了算。
爆笑(5)：阿哥累了
ugly,adj，丑陋的，音“阿哥累”。
阿哥累了，变得丑了，心灵美了，阿妹不离他走了。
英语爆笑幽默笑话6篇
英语爆笑幽默笑话6篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑幽默笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑幽默笑话：An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.一个画家问画廊的主人有没有人对他正在展览的画作感兴趣。
I've got good news and bad news, the owner replied.我有个好消息，又有个坏消息要告诉你，主人说。
The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.好消息就是一位绅士向你的画作询价并想知道你死后那些画会不会升值。
当我告诉他会以后，他便买下了你全部的15幅作品。
That's wonderful! the artist exclaimed, What's the bad news?. With concern, the gallery owner replied, The guy was your doctor.那太好了!画家惊叹道，那坏消息呢?主人面露关切之色，回答道：那个人是你的医生。
英语爆笑幽默笑话：A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity inher eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。
超爆笑的英语笑话(优秀7篇)
超爆笑的英语笑话（优秀7篇）英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇一To Buy a Video 买录像机Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。
可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
妈妈，这简单，艾曼斯回答。
我把电视机给卖了！爆笑英语笑话篇二Reasons理由One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.一天清晨，妈妈去叫还在睡觉的儿子起床。
Wake up, son.起来，儿子。
It#39;s time to go to school.去学校的时间到了。
But why? I don#39;t want to go to school.但是为什么？我不想去学校。
Give me two reasons why you don#39;t want to go to school.给我两个理由，你为什么不想去学校。
One, all the children hate me.第一，所有的孩子都恨我。
Two, all the teachers hate me.第二，所有的老师都恨我。
英语爆笑笑话9篇
英语爆笑笑话9篇下面是学习啦我整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望对大家有关怀。
英语爆笑笑话：Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。
突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。
问道，一加一得几。
年轻人吓坏了，深思了很久。
回答，等于二。
神经病毫不迟疑的打死了他。
然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了英语爆笑笑话：Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我遗忘了。
女孩：应当只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。
英语爆笑笑话：HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
爆笑英语笑话乐翻天
爆笑英语笑话乐翻天A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad e in from the office, plaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.Sammy prayed every night for two weeks, asking God for $100.When he got no response, he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked.The post office received the letter addressed to “God, Los Angeles.” They decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to the mayor. The mayor read the letter and thought it was cute, so he asked his secretary to send the boy $10, thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money for a little boy.When Sammy got the money, he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter.“Dear God,” he wrote, “Thank you very much for the money you sent. I guess it is to be expected but I thought you should know this: When you sent it through City Hall, the government deducted(扣除，减去) $90.”Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy somenew clothes.The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Nowhere's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.""Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?""They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once."Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".。
英语经典爆笑笑话9篇
英语经典爆笑笑话9篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
英语经典爆笑笑话：Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!英语经典爆笑笑话：Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”英语经典爆笑笑话：It's not my faultMother (reprimanding训斥，谴责her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.不是我的错妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
爆笑英语笑话笑破你肚子
爆笑英语笑话笑破你肚子下面收集了多篇搞笑的，希望你会喜欢。
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.” “Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。
他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
趣味英语爆笑笑话
趣味英语爆笑笑话下面是店铺整理的趣味英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!趣味英语爆笑笑话：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。
”酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。
”趣味英语爆笑笑话：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
爆笑英语笑话12篇
爆笑英语笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的爆笑英语笑话12篇，以供大家学习参考。
爆笑英语笑话：frog 青蛙Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。
”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。
老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。
我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。
”爆笑英语笑话：the formula for waterAn instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?""Sure. That's easy," said one man."What is it?""H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.""What, what?" reasked the instructor."H to O," explained the chemistry expert.生化战争课的老师在课堂上问士兵们：“谁知道水的分子式?”“当然，太简单了。
英文爆笑笑话6篇
英文爆笑笑话6篇下面小编给大家整理的英文爆笑笑话六篇，希望大家会喜欢。
英文爆笑笑话一：Lose One Pound减掉一磅I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
可是，我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时，体重225磅，而目前体重是224磅。
我还说：“这对我这样年龄的男子来说，是不错的。
”一个女子听到了这些话，她说道：“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”英文爆笑笑话二：The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
英语爆笑笑话8篇
英语爆笑笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
英语爆笑笑话：A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。
她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。
于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。
谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?英语爆笑笑话：Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。
趣味英语笑话7篇
趣味英语笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的趣味英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!趣味英语笑话：Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。
英语爆笑笑话6则
英语爆笑笑话6则下面小编给大家整理的英语爆笑笑话，希望大家会喜欢。
英语爆笑笑话一：妈妈在砸瓶子A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."一个妇人正在使劲打开番茄酱的瓶子。
这时，电话铃响了，她叫四岁的女儿去接电话。
小孩说：“妈妈现在不能接电话，她在砸瓶子。
”英语爆笑笑话二：The Nice Wedding GiftWe attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: "Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。
由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。
《爆笑趣味英语》
《爆笑趣味英语》第一章爆笑的英文情诗，慎用啊慎用！（双语版）1.My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻，Marrying you has screwed up my life.我这辈子就毁在你手里。
2.I see your face when I am dreaming.你的容颜依稀入梦境，That is why I always wake up screaming.于是我在尖叫中惊醒。
3.Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,善良、聪慧、多情而性感，This describes everything you are not.可惜这些你一条都不占。
4.Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,爱是上天赐福，爱情多么美好，But I only slept with you cause I was pissed.可我与你同眠只是因为喝高。
5.I thought that I could love no other,曾以为一生只爱你一个，--that is until I met your brother.直到遇见你的二表哥。
6.Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you,娇艳的紫罗兰，鲜红的玫瑰，甜蜜的糖，就像你一样美。
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.但紫罗兰会凋谢，玫瑰会枯黄，糖碗空空如也，和你的脑袋一样.7.I want to feel your sweet embrace;我渴望你温柔的拥抱，But don't take that paper bag off your face.但别把你脸上的面具摘掉。
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妈的，我真是说谎不打草稿！
9.
My love, you take my breath away.
爱人啊，你简直让我窒息，
What have you stepped in to smell this way？
你在哪沾上的一身臭气？
10.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor. "Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."
“Sure, Madam.”
“Thank you so much,”said the old lady, “Do you mind adding a few words to it,” she asked again.
“Of course.” The man did as she told, smiling indulgently, “Any other thing I can do for you？”
你的容颜依稀入梦境，
That is why I always wake up screaming.
于是我在尖叫中惊醒。
3.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
善良、聪慧、多情而性感，
This describes everything you are not.
"The numbers are the date of our anniversary," my husband confessed.
第三章最爆 do！
云中谁寄锦书来？super high ,suck guy！
7.Why are you so nervous
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case.
But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious."
"No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him.
"Have you ever gone fishing？" the officer asked.
"Yes," Walt replied.
"Well, have you ever caught all the fish in the pond？"
4.Saucer that brings luck
第一章爆笑的英文情诗，慎用啊慎用！（双语版）
1.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻，
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
我这辈子就毁在你手里。
2.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
我渴望你温柔的拥抱，
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
但别把你脸上的面具摘掉。
8.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
我爱你的明眸，你的脸庞，你的微笑，
Damn, I'm good at telling lies！
曾以为一生只爱你一个，
--that is until I met your brother.
直到遇见你的二表哥。
6.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you,
娇艳的紫罗兰，鲜红的玫瑰，甜蜜的糖，就像你一样美。
3.Speeding
A man was driving a rig in a long line of tractor-trailers when a police officer pulled him over for speeding. Astounded that he alone was caught, he asked, "Out of all these trucks that were going just as fast as I was, why did you pull me over？"
"Yes！" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."
Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."
我对你的深情无法付诸言语，
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
除了一句“滚一边去”！
11.
What inspired this amorous rhyme？
是什么激发了我多情的诗篇？
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
伏特加两杯，酸柠
“The cat is yours,” the proprietor said, taking the money.
“Listen,” the collector added, “I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it.”
2.Contemporary service
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
"Besides, we've been screwing for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."
"True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth！" （be down to…只剩下……）
It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
"Why are you so nervous？" I asked him.
“Sorry,” the shop owner answered, “but that saucer brings me luck. Just this week I have sold 68 cats！”
5.Poor handwriting
In the lobby of a post office, an old woman came up to a young man, asking him politely, “Would you please help me to write down the address on the postcard？”
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry.