英语短笑话
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
十个简短的英语小笑话
十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。
”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语小笑话很短的
英语小笑话很短的笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。
店铺整理了很短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 很短的英语小笑话篇一He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
很短的英语小笑话篇二Jim’s History ExaminationUncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked himthings that happened before the poor boy was born.吉姆的历史考试舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲：唉，糟透了。
可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。
嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
很短的英语小笑话篇三The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied thelittle girl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
”维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
英语笑话简短搞笑
英语笑话简短搞笑英语笑话既能让我们快乐，也能让我们学到英语知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话简短搞笑吧!英语笑话简短搞笑(一)A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。
A:Put out your tongue.伸出你的舌头。
B:OK.好的。
Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.于是他伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。
A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.好吧，把舌头伸回去吧，你的病因很明显，你需要更多的运动。
B:But，doctor, I don't think...但是，医生，我不认为……A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.不要告诉我你认为怎么样，我是医生，不是你。
我知道你需要什么。
我看过数以百计像你这样的'病人。
他们没有一个人锻炼过。
他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。
你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。
B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...医生，你不知道，我……A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.我不想听任何理由。
20篇简短英语笑话
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短
十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
英语幽默短笑话10篇
英语幽默短笑话10篇英语幽默短笑话1.Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
英语幽默短笑话2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
英语幽默短笑话3.Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
英语小笑话20篇
英语小笑话20篇英语小笑话（一）：A Useful Way 一个有效的方法Father: Jack，why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple，Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
英语小笑话（二）：我根本就看不见After supper，the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。
At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV，"Honey，go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while，her son returnedand said，"Ma，the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。
"晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”英语小笑话（三）：Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom，why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I e to the corner，a sign says，School-Go Slow。
英语小笑话很短的精选
英语小笑话很短的精选网络笑话在一定程度上反映了社会不同阶层间的意识形态和权力属性。
下面是店铺带来的很短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!很短的英语小笑话篇一英语口语居然被人翻译成四川话... ...1.Are you kidding me?你豁老子哦?2.Dude.哥佬倌3.Long time no see.死哪儿切了喃?那么久没qio到你了。
4.What?啥子喃?5.Don"t worry。
虚啥子啊虚。
6.What do you want?你要爪子嘛?7.I can not hold no longer.老子遭不住了。
8.Stupid.瓜娃子。
9.She"s my girlfriend;wife.她是我老妞儿。
10.You are welcome.莫来头;说这些。
11.That"s awesome.简直巴适的板。
12.I have no idea.晓求不得。
13.A little.就那么滴滴儿。
14.I am sure.我呸死了。
打包票。
15.What happened?啥子情况啥子情况?16.It doesn"t make sense. 球名堂莫得。
17.It"s none of your business.管你娃球事啊?18.What a hell? 浪么子搞起在勒。
19.Are you sure.儿豁??20.Are u out of ur mind?你吃醉了所?21.Rock paper scissors. 石千儿。
22.I dont care.管我屁事啊。
23.Kick your ass. 给你娃儿两脚头哦。
24.Dark black。
黢嘛黑。
25.See you.空了吹。
26.Let"s go.撤飘。
27.Shut up.闹啥子。
28.Asshole.斯娃子29.You wanna piece of me.老子给你打燃火。
30.Enjoy!敞欢。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
关于英语小笑话非常短
关于英语小笑话非常短推荐文章英语短笑话带翻译热度：英语小笑话带翻译简短热度：关于英语小笑话介绍热度： 100字的英语笑话大全热度：英语笑话150字热度：笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
店铺整理了关于非常短英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!关于非常短英语小笑话篇一What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
关于非常短英语小笑话篇二Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!关于非常短英语小笑话篇三What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。
关于非常短英语小笑话篇四"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”。
英语经典笑话12篇
英语经典笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典笑话：Cry"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying.""Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any.""But has he finished his own cake?""Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."“汤姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。
“他在哭。
”“没事儿，妈妈，”汤姆答道。
“我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
”“他已经吃完自己的了么?”“是的。
”“我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。
”英语经典笑话：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
最新整理英语幽默短笑话10篇
英语幽默短笑话10篇在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。
下面是学习啦小编整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢!英语幽默短笑话 1.M i k e:M u m,I w a n t t o w a t c h T V.M u m:T h e r e i s n o e l e c t r i c i t y t o n i g h t.M i k e:T h e n l e t s w a t c h T V w i t h a c a n d i e o n.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
英语幽默短笑话 2.T h e F i s h N e tC a n y o u t e l l m e w h a t f i s h n e t i s m a d e,A n n?A l o t o f l i t t l e h o l e s t i e d t o g e t h e r w i t h s t r i n g s. r e p l i e d t h e l i t t l e g i r l.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
英语幽默短笑话 3.L i t t l e R o b e r t a s k e d h i s m o t h e r f o r t w o c e n t s.W h a t d i d y o u d o w i t h t h e m o n e y I g a v ey o u y e s t e r d a y?I g a v e i t t o a p o o r o l d w o m a n,h e a n s w e r e d. Y o u r e a g o o d b o y, s a i d t h e m o t h e r p r o u d l y. H e r e a r e t w o c e n t s m o r e. B u t w h y a r e y o u s o i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e o l d w o m a n?S h e i s t h e o n e w h o s e l l s t h e c a n d y.小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
关于英语的笑话_经典四则_英语笑话
关于英语的笑话-经典四则1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer （计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学xi英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语爆笑笑话六篇短一些带翻译
英语爆笑笑话六篇短一些带翻译笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动动作型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑的英语笑话吧，让你爆笑每一天。
我没有看到另外一块Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t noticethe other.妈妈：约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
现在就剩下一块了。
你能解释一下吗?约翰尼：嗯，我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。
魔鬼的妹夫A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。
一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
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I've Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。
”Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. ".鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。
一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”Bring me the winner-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.-- Well, bring me the winner then.给我那个打赢的吧-- 服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.""Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?""They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once."Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。
一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。
她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。
不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
”迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。
”迪克说了一声“噢”。
他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。
”I'm Trying to Stop It“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。
”“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。
”“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。
”"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?""No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”“没有，老师。
可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。
”The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?""I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".hey Are Directly from AmericaNot long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”汉译：真美钞一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。
这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。
”He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。