《唐伯虎点秋香》英文搞笑版剧本

唐伯虎与秋香

Scene one

（音乐：Happy day）

唐伯虎的五位妻子正在家中玩牌…

唐：（手摇用钞票攒成的扇子，摆pose）I’m back, honeys .

Wives:（一人一叫）honey, sweetie, dear, darling, candy.

Wife 1: Today is payday, isn’t it?

2: How much have you got?

3: You’ve promised to treat us a big meal.

4: We want to go to KFC.

5: Yeah, let’s go!

Scene two

(They enter KFC.)

Wife 1: I want a hamburger.

2: I want a fried chicken.

3: I want potato chips.

4: I want Pepsi.

唐：Ok, ok, find a table first, and sit there quietly. I know what your favorite is.

(唐伯虎取完食物回来)

唐：（按顺序发）Your hamburger. You fried chicken…(看见秋香)Ur…what a beauty!(石榴忙梳妆)

石：Would you want to treat us?

唐：Ok, of course! Join us!

石：Oh, a free big meal!

秋：That’s not so good. We have to go.

石：Why? Let’s have a meal, a free meal, and a handsome guy.

唐：According to your temperament, you two mustn’t come from ordinary family. 石：Yes, we are from 华府. My name is 石榴. I like cooking, swimming, …

(Cell phone ringing)

秋：Hello, oh, I’ll be back soon!

对石：We have to go. Madam Hua called us.

对唐：We are so sorry. Thank you all the same.

石：See you. This is my card.

唐：（看秋香，看老婆）唉!Now I really know what a beauty is!

(唐伯虎和祝枝山闲逛，在街上，见告示，一脸惊愕，转高兴)

唐：God bless me!

祝：You’re so crazy about money?

唐：Money? No! It’s a secret!

祝：（鄙视状）Ur…I see. It must be some women.

唐：My parents give birth to me, but you are the only person who knows me. I must be quick!

Scene three

(华府门前——一大堆人在府门前，唐跪在旁)

（音乐起：二泉映月）

唐：Everybody! Attention, please! A dutiful son will sell himself for the dead father. Please show some mercy on me!

石：You, guy, why come here so early just do this kind of business? Don’t you know it will bring bad luck?

唐：Good lady, I have no other choice.

秋：You look so familiar. We have met before somewhere?

唐：Come across each other with no care of acquaintance or not.

石：What a pity! But we only need one servant.

惨人：How miserable I am! I want to sell myself for my whole family.

唐：It can’t be true.

惨人：Show some mercy on me. Last night, my whole family except me all went to heaven. And I have heart attack, blood cancer…Please, hire me as your servant. 秋：This one deserves more sympathy. Let’s hire him.

石：（哭）Ok.

唐：Madam, I came first.

秋：It’s not a matter of order.

石：Yes, this guy’s family almost all went to heaven. You just lost your father. We really want to help you, but…

唐：But, I’m also miserable.

石：But the fact is he is more miserable. Do you have something more miserable? 唐：I…Ur…You see, I haven’t clean my nails for days. They are dirty with mud.

Doesn’t it seem miserable?

(惨人的小狗突然死去)

惨人：（痛苦）旺财…旺财…How can you die? You have been with me for so many years! Since you came to my family, you have never had a full meal. I’m so sorry for you.

唐：（看见一只蟑螂，大叫) Be careful!

(石榴一退，踩死蟑螂)

唐：Baby！What’s wrong with you? How can you go first?! I have been with you for so many years. I treat you as my brother. I teach you, raise you. How can I imagine you go before me?

石：秋香，They are both miserable, what shall we do?

秋：Let’s wait and see.

惨人：That’s good.

(走到唐伯虎前)Big brother, don’t play tricks. You guy, please, do some make-ups first. You see, my body is full of wound. How can you look more miserable than me?

唐：Please don’t compete with me. The most thing I ca n’t tolerate is that someone competes with me!

惨人：Can you be more miserable than me?

(唐捡起一棍，自断一臂)

唐：Now you see, my arm is broken! Ha Ha!

惨人：I won’t give up. I will contribute my life.（拿起棍子砸脑门，血流不止）Who can be more miserable than me? （倒下）