表演 荆轲刺秦王英语话剧(搞笑)

荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 阿三：oh~ really ?She is the Chinese girl !! 荆柯： ok!!! Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三：Yeah! .
ActionIII
• • • • • 荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》） • 荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕 是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) • 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you
何斌-----旁白
范峰华-----荆轲
汤波----Baidu Nhomakorabea太子丹
陈磊-----阿三
（按出场顺序排列）
赵瑞-----愁李莫
商连永-----荆轲之妻
Introduction： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr. Jing Ke was the most famous swordsman（剑客）and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Ying Zheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show, will tell you the truth……
Action II 荆轲：Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁：Yes. 荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world. 李莫愁：Are you challenging（挑战的） me? 荆轲：Off course! 李莫愁：Come on! “人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍不死啊，两刀砍死 你啊。。。。” 李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt（使受 伤 ）? 荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要 么？） 李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you‘re gonna（将要 ） get." I got it, Momma is right.
太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an unusual answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure! 太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒 荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too! May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
• 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise （泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. • 妻子:"I promise." • 荆轲:"Never let go. “ • 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." • （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》 的台词。） • 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去 • 妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… • 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. • 阿三：Okay okay! • 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (It’s you, Prince Dan! ) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive(吸引人的 ) man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous(妒忌的) guy（家伙） I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister(大臣 )? 阿三 : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful(优雅的) 、handsome、charming(迷人的) 、cute、 smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ 太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century(世纪) ? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！） Good idea! But who is the right candidate(候选人) ? 阿三：After screening(筛选) I have two promising(有希望的) persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO.1 killer of the world. 太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.