作文点评 雅思考官点评
雅思写作样题、范文和考官点评(1)
Sample Candidate Writing Scripts and Examiner CommentsBoth the Academic and General Training Writing Modules consist of two tasks, Task 1 and Task 2. Each task is assessed independently. The assessment of Task 2 carries more weightin marking than Task 1.Detailed performance descriptors have been developed which describe written performance at the 9 IELTS bands. These descriptors are confidential and apply to both the Academic and General Training Modules.Task 1 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:•Task Achievement•Coherence and Cohesion•Lexical Resource•Grammatical Range and AccuracyTask 2 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:•Task Response•Coherence and Cohesion•Lexical Resource•Grammatical Range and AccuracyCandidates should note that scripts will be penalised if they are a) under the minimum word length, b) partly or wholly plagiarised, c) not written as full, connected text (e.g. using bullet points in any part of the response, or note form, etc.).T ask 1Task AchievementThis criterion assesses how appropriately, accurately and relevantly the response fulfils the requirements set out in the task, using the minimum of 150 words.Academic Writing Task 1 is a writing task which has a defined input and a largely predictable output. It is basically an information-transfer task which relates narrowly to the factual content of an input diagram and not to speculated explanations that lie outside the given data.General Training Writing Task 1 is also a writing task with a largely predictable output in that each task sets out the context and purpose of the letter and the functions the candidate should cover in order to achieve this purpose.Coherence and CohesionThis criterion is concerned with the overall clarity and fluency of the message: how the response organises and links information, ideas and language. Coherence refers to the linking of ideas through logical sequencing. Cohesion refers to the varied and appropriate use of cohesive devices (for example, logical connectors, pronouns and conjunctions) to assist in making the conceptual and referential relationships between and within sentences clear. Lexical ResourceThis criterion refers to the range of vocabulary the candidate hasused and the accuracy and appropriacy of that use in terms ofthe specific task.Grammatical Range and AccuracyThis criterion refers to the range and accurate use of thecandidate’s grammatical resource as manifested in thecandidate’s writing at sentence level.T ask 2Task ResponseIn both Academic and General Training Modules Task 2 requiresthe candidates to formulate and develop a position in relation to a given prompt in the form of a question or statement. Ideasshould be supported by evidence, and examples may be drawnfrom the candidates’ own experience. Responses must be atleast 250 words in length.Writing scripts are marked by trained and certificated IELTS examiners. Scores are reported as whole bands only.On the next 12pages you will find candidates’ answers totwo sample Writing tests. There are two answer s for each Writing task. Each answer has been awarded a band score and is accompanied by an examiner comment on the candidate’s performance for thattask.The examiners’ guidelines for marking the Writing scripts arevery detailed.There are many different ways a candidate may achieve a particular band score.The candidates’ answers that follow should not be regarded as definitive examples of any particular band score.Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 5The length of the answer is just acceptable. There is a good attempt to describe the overall trends but the content would have been greatly improved if the candidate had included some reference to the figures given on the graph. Without these, the reader is lacking some important information. The answer is quite difficult to follow and there are some punctuation errors that cause confusion. The structures are fairly simple and efforts to produce more complex sentences are not successful.Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 6The candidate has made a good attempt to describe the graphs looking at global trends and more detailed figures. There is, however, some information missing and the information is inaccurate in minor areas. The answer flows quite smoothly although connectives are overused or inappropriate, and some of the points do not link up well. The grammatical accuracy is quite good and the language used to describe the trends is well-handled. However, there are problems with expression and the appropriate choice of words and whilst there is good structural control, the complexity and variation in the sentences are limited.Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 6The answer has a good introduction in which the candidate has attempted to incorporate his/her own words. There is good coverage of the data and a brief reference to contrasting trends. The answer can be followed although it is rather repetitive and cohesive devices are overused. In order to gain a higher mark for content, the candidate would be expected to select the salient features of the graph and comment primarily on these. Sentences are long but lack complexity. There are some errors in tense, verb form and spelling which interfere slightly with the flow of the answer.Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 7The answer deals well with both the individual media trends and the overall comparison of these trends. The opening could be more fully developed with the inclusion of information relating to the groups studied and the period of time during which the study took place. There is a good variety of cohesive devices and the message can be followed quite easily although the expression is sometimes a little clumsy. Structures are complex and vocabulary is varied but there are errors in word forms, tense and voice and occasionally the text becomes incoherent.Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 5The answer is short at just over 200 words and thus loses marks for content. There are some relevant arguments but these are not very well developed and become unclear in places. The organisation of the answer is evident through the use of fairly simple connectives but there are problems for the reader in that there are many missing words and word order is often incorrect. The structures are quite ambitious but often faulty and vocabulary is kept quite simple.Academic Writing Sample Task 2A Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 6There are quite a lot of ideas and while some of these are supported better than others, there is an overall coherence to the answer. The introduction is perhaps slightly long and more time could have been devoted to answering the question. The answer is fairly easy to follow and there is good punctuation. Organisational devices are evident although some areas of the answer become unclear and would benefit from more accurate use of connectives. There are some errors in the structures but there is also evidence of the production of complex sentence forms. Grammatical errors interfere slightly with comprehension.Academic Writing Sample Task 2B Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 5Although the script contains some good arguments, these are presented using poor structures and the answer is not very coherent. The candidate has a clear point of view but not all the supporting arguments are linked together well and sometimes ideas are left unfinished. There is quite a lot of relevant vocabulary but this is not used skilfully and sentences often have words missing or lapse into different styles. The answer is spoilt by grammatical errors and poor expression.Academic Writing Sample Task 2B Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 7The answer is well-written and contains some good arguments. It does tend to repeat these arguments but the writer’s point of view remains clear throughout. The message is easy to follow and ideas are arranged well with good use of cohesive devices. There are minor problems with coherence and at times the expression is clumsy and imprecise. There is a wide range of structures that are well handled with only small problems, mainly in the areas of spelling and word choice.44|IELTS Specimen MaterialsIELTS Specimen Materials|45Sample Candidate Writing Scripts and Examiner CommentsBoth the Academic and General Training Writing Modules consist of two tasks, Task 1 and Task 2. Each task is assessed independently. The assessment of Task 2 carries more weightin marking than Task 1.Detailed performance descriptors have been developed which describe written performance at the 9 IELTS bands. These descriptors are confidential and apply to both the Academic and General Training Modules.Task 1 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:•Task Achievement•Coherence and Cohesion•Lexical Resource•Grammatical Range and AccuracyTask 2 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:•Task Response•Coherence and Cohesion•Lexical Resource•Grammatical Range and AccuracyCandidates should note that scripts will be penalised if they are a) under the minimum word length, b) partly or wholly plagiarised, c) not written as full, connected text (e.g. using bullet points in any part of the response, or note form, etc.).T ask 1Task AchievementThis criterion assesses how appropriately, accurately and relevantly the response fulfils the requirements set out in the task, using the minimum of 150 words.Academic Writing Task 1 is a writing task which has a defined input and a largely predictable output. It is basically an information-transfer task which relates narrowly to the factual content of an input diagram and not to speculated explanations that lie outside the given data.General Training Writing Task 1 is also a writing task with a largely predictable output in that each task sets out the context and purpose of the letter and the functions the candidate should cover in order to achieve this purpose.Coherence and CohesionThis criterion is concerned with the overall clarity and fluency of the message: how the response organises and links information, ideas and language. Coherence refers to the linking of ideas through logical sequencing. Cohesion refers to the varied and appropriate use of cohesive devices (for example, logical connectors, pronouns and conjunctions) to assist in making the conceptual and referential relationships between and within sentences clear. Lexical ResourceThis criterion refers to the range of vocabulary the candidate has used and the accuracy and appropriacy of that use in terms ofthe specific task.Grammatical Range and AccuracyThis criterion refers to the range and accurate use of the candidate’s grammatical resource as manifested in thecandidate’s writing at sentence level.T ask 2Task ResponseIn both Academic and General Training Modules Task 2 requiresthe candidates to formulate and develop a position in relation to a given prompt in the form of a question or statement. Ideasshould be supported by evidence, and examples may be drawnfrom the candidates’ own experience. Responses must be atleast 250 words in length.Writing scripts are marked by trained and certificated IELTS examiners. Scores are reported as whole bands only.On the next 6pages you will find candidates’ answers to one sample Writing test. There are two answer s for this Writing task. Each answer has been awarded a band score and is accompanied by an examiner comment on the candidate’s performance for that task.The examiners’ guidelines for marking the Writing scripts are very detailed.There are many different ways a candidate may achieve a particular band score.The candidates’ answers that follow should not be regarded as definitive examples of any particular band score.General Training Writing Sample Task 1Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 5The answer is below the word limit and there is some repetition of the task rubric. (Length is a common problem in General Training scripts.) Answers that are short lose marks because of inadequate content and may also lose marks because there is insufficient material in the answer for the examiner to give credit for accuracy and coherence. Despite these problems, the introduction to the letter is appropriate and the purpose of the writer is clear. The points are not always linked together well and punctuation is sometimes faulty. The sentences are kept quite simple and mistakes occur as soon as more complex structures are attempted.Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 7This answer is also short. Although ideas are often provided in the task rubric, candidates are at liberty to include some of their own ideas in their answers. In this case, the candidate has attempted to incorporate some original material. The answer reads quite fluently, is well organised and there is good use of conjunctions to link points. There are some grammatical errors but these do not affect the reader greatly and there is evidence of some more complex sentence structures.Sample Script AExaminer commentBand 5There are quite a lot of relevant ideas in the answer but they are not always well supported and sometimes they are unclear. There are some areas in the answer where the organisation becomes weak and the reader finds the message difficult to follow. Nevertheless, the writer’s view is apparent and there is a logical flow to the points given. There are a lot of mistakes in the answer and some parts, such as the conclusion, are very hard to follow because of these errors. Although there is some appropriate vocabulary, sentence control is very weak. These problems are made worse by thepoor correcting which sometimes makes words unreadable.General Training Writing Sample Task 2 Sample Script BExaminer commentBand 8This is a very well-organised script which contains a lot of well-supported arguments and analyses the topic from different angles. The ideas follow each other well and there is a very honest conclusion. The answer is easy to read. There are some areas where the expression is clumsy but this makes little difference to the overall flow of the answer. There are minor errors in spelling and structure.。
Teaxjs雅思教父刘洪波：教育类雅思作文高分范文及点评
秋风清，秋月明,落叶聚还散,寒鸦栖复惊。
雅思教父刘洪波：教育类雅思作文高分范文及点评雅思教父刘洪波2010权威作品《最简化雅思写作》8月光芒上市从零开始，单词、词组、句式、思想完全应对官方四大评分标准最新研发最简化15句写作框架模板涵盖雅思题库各类型高分范文幽默通俗的语言手把手教出写作高分中国区前任雅思考官强力推荐Most countries spend lots of money on education as they start to recognize its importance. In your opinion which two following subjects are the most important for your people and which one is the least important?Subject:Literature SportsMathematics EconomyPhysics HistoryMusic GeographyIt has been said that investing in educa tion is investing in one’s future: this is true for both individuals and nations. It is always somewhat subjective to say which is more important, the humanities or sciences, as both have value. However, I would like to make a case for the importance of math and economics in this day and age.Let us begin with math. Mathematics is a foundation subject which bridges many different fields, from physics and chemistry to the Internet and modern medicine. All of our material advances in the 20th century could not have happened without advanced mathematics. To be sure, it will also play a critical role in meeting challenges like global warming and space travel, to name just a few, in the future. Likewise, economics is a fundamental discipline that allows societies to be stable and move forward. History is full of example of kingdoms and empires that collapsed as their economies declined. Most obviously, we need look no further than the current economic meltdown to see the importance of economics. The jobs and wellbeing ofindividuals and nations alike depend upon a deeper understanding of this field.While all subjects have their merit, perhaps Geography doesn’t have the same importance it once did. After all, in our modern world we have 3-D maps online that allow us to see anywhere with the click of a mouse. But to reiterate, we need a balanced approach to education where we still produce artists and thinkers and historians and so on.To summarize, math and economics are critical subjects in the 21st century. Governments must do their part to make sure we invest in these key areas and have qualified teachers. By doing so, they will ensure our prosperity and progress.(294 words)Harvey点评：写作观点：数学、经济学重要，地理不重要。
雅思6分大作文考官评语
雅思6分大作文考官评语Even though doctors all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it.Why are people eating fast food?What can be done about this problem?Unfortunately as the world goes on improving people more and more are eager to have fast foods. It’s now a kind of habit for kids and also adults to spent their leisure time at fast food restaurants. On my opinion one of the major reason of using fast foods in many countries is the shortage of time that people face with. It should be investigated properly to solve this subject.As a matter of fact nowadays people in all over the world ought to work outdoors more than before. You know that living expenses are so high that spouses should work together in order to gain more. Therefore they have little time to spend on cooking.Another reason is the great advertisements which being done by TV programs or magazines, tempting everybody to use fast food. Now, parents are paying more attention to their children’s needs regardless of how much logically they are. They are about to provide their needs even if children are addicted to take fast foods or so.You know that obesity, high cholestrol, diabetes and laziness are some outcomes of fast food, and if it is neglected, may lead to serious problems.I think nutrition experts are expected to offer more warning programs to people about this matter. Government should spend a special budget on giving people some solutions about this subjects. For example making animation programs bearing warning messages for the children is one way to make themaware of it’s fate. Or cooking programs which learn how to prepare a healthy food in short time seemed to be useful in solving this problem.In conclusion, it needs to plan a serious plan and spend more time and budget to find a way on solving the perilof its widespread. I hope every person would be more careful about his or her health especially on nutrition case.Examiner commentsBoth parts of the question are addressed in this response, and the content is appropriate for the topic. The writer’s position is clear, and there are plenty of relevant ideas which are developed and supported. These are arranged in an organised way, and paragraphing is helpfully used, so that the response as a whole generally progresses coherently to the conclusion. There are errors in word choice and spelling, but the range of vocabulary is quite wide and includes some less common words which specifically relate to the topic. With regard to the grammar, there is a mix of sentence types, but errors occur with plurals, prepositions, word order and punctution, and with passives and verbs in complex structures.。
雅思满分作文（雅思考官范文）：完美解读评分标准
雅思满分作文（雅思考官范文）：完美解读评分标准正在准备雅思考试的小烤鸭们都知道评分标准意味着什么，它就像茫茫大海中引导船舶的灯塔，为他们指出正确的方向。
在写作备考过程中，评分标准的作用不可小觑，对于四项要求：Task Response(Achievement)，Coherence and Cohesion，Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy的精确理解和解读有助于让考生的作文更加接近考官的要求，明确自己的写作方向，对提分有帮助。
本文将对考官范文进行解析，看看9分的文章如何出色地完成了其中的所有要求。
剑5 test 2In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in termsof coping with the challenges of student life.However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at the important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job, or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.1. Task Response:Ø fully addresses all parts o f the taskØ presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas。
雅思大作文四项评分标准 考官这样解释.doc
雅思大作文四项评分标准考官这样解释是需要雅思成绩的，今天我整理了雅思大作文四项评分标准的相关内容，有需要的同学们赶紧来阅读看看，希望对你有帮助。
1、Task response 即对应题目要求。
简单来说，就是不能偏题。
要回答题目要求你回答的内容。
要求有明确观点，根据题目要求来写，所举的例子都要能论证观点的。
英国作业写作对于本篇作文，考官的观点如下：As I mentioned above， misunderstanding the task （or you understand the task； however， your writing impede the communication） will affect this score.You also need to further develop your answer by giving explanations.（正如之前提到的，你对题目的理解有些偏差，或者说你理解了题目，但是你写出来的文章却有跑题之嫌。
此外，你还需要更深入、更清楚的解释你的观点，可以借助举例来详细的解释你的观点。
）2、Coherence & Cohesion 连贯性和逻辑。
逻辑性就是要求因果之间有较为直接的联系，不要跳跃性的思维。
这点是很多中国考生所忽略的，一定要是直接的原因或者结果才能紧跟其后。
而连贯性的要求就要使用恰当适合的连词，使得文章的联系更为紧密。
这篇文章考官认为：Cohesion of your essay is okay； however， cohesive devices should be used wisely and also need to examine the suggestion I gave to you in your preceding essay， as you made the same mistake again.（这篇文章的逻辑连贯性还算OK，但是连接词的使用还需提高，用法上应该更广泛，更准确。
雅思作文范文及教师点评
雅思作文范文及教师点评People can go to shop, bank and work with a puter. But the danger of the puter is that people are getting isolated and losing some social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?The progression of puter is inevitable and undeniable. Nowadays puters also have bee a part of our daily life. Instead of leaving home to go to shop bank and work people can do these at home by clicking the buttons. However, some people hold the opinion that it will cause people isolated from each other and lose social skills. Personally I findit hard for me to agree with this opinion by following reasonsIn the first instance, puters are tool to munication with people instead of isolation from the world. When we say a person is isolated it means that he is lonely and cut off the world. However, people seldom have this feeling while they are surfing the Inter. On the contrary, people tend to make more friends through the .Secondly, people also can acquire social skills on Inter. Communication on Inter has the same purpose as face-to-face munication has. For example, through Inter we can send greeting cards to our friends. Furthermore, sometimes it might be a better way of munication on some oasions suchas when you find it embarrassing to say sorry face to face we can send a message of apology to your friend.Last but not least, doing something through Inter actually spares more time for our social life. Sometime we need to spend a lot of time shopping in department stores. Now we can save the time and may visit our friends.In general, puter just make our life more colorful so we don’t need to worry about the changes its may bring to us. Especially most of these changes are positive.讲评：原文总体上逻辑是清楚的，直接答复了题中的问题，并得出了自己的结论。
作文点评 雅思考官点评.doc
（一）犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them* Instead> education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and societies face. Traditionally, the approach has been to punish them by placing them in prisons to pay for what they have done. Some, however, advocate for trying to make them better with training and education and it seems they may have a good poin匸First of all, consider all the money that we have to spend to lock people up in jail. It doesn^t seem like a good use of public money if the people don^t actually get any better. Because most criminals eventually are let out of prison, our focus should be on making them better citizens.In fact, the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn't have a good education or happy family. So if they can learn job skills they perhaps can find work and feel they can contribute in a positive way. If they do this, they won't need crime. Surly everyone deserves a second chance・Of course this does not mean that we should be too lenient on criminals. Those who commit crime should still be punished, but during their punishment they should also be treated. If we make an investment in them and show compassion, most will be able to make a new start・To summarize, we must make more of an effort to go to the root of the problem・ We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need： education and training・ By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier・(271 words)Harvey 点评：写作线索：首段，赞同题目观点；第二段，罪犯在监狱里什么都不做是花着纳税人的钱的；第三段，没有接受教育和不幸的家庭是原因，要教育，要给他们机会；第四段；当然要惩罚，但惩罚和治疗并用。
雅思雅思教父刘洪波：建筑类雅思作文高分范文及点评
雅思教父刘洪波：建筑类雅思作文高分范文及点评雅思教父刘洪波2010权威作品《最简化雅思写作》8月光芒上市从零开始，单词、词组、句式、思想完全应对官方四大评分标准最新研发最简化15句写作框架模板涵盖雅思题库各类型高分范文幽默通俗的语言手把手教出写作高分中国区前任雅思考官强力推荐1. 建筑风格Modern buildings are appearing in large numbers but some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?In recent years, an interesting trend has emerged. Countries with long histories and rich cultures have been modernizing the quickest, especially in terms of architecture. Many have criticized this as not respecting traditional culture. While traditional architecture should be protected, however, I feel it is not necessary to stop building modern structures as we move forward.One reason for this is that modern buildings are more practical and comfortable to live and work in. While traditional buildings might look nice from the outside, they are often not very user-friendly. Modern buildings usually have lots of windows and light and are clean and energy efficient. Surely this will make those inside them happier.Another point to consider is that modern buildings will give a good impression to those visiting from abroad. Consider Beijing during the Olympics, for example. Many foreigners were surprised to see all of the stunning new building designs. In the long run, this will probably attract more business and tourists to the country.Of course, traditional architecture still has its value. Everyone loves visiting famous historical places and admiring architectural styles from throughout history. We should protect and appreciate such places for future generations, but at the same time, we don't have to live in the past.Ultimately, each city needs to find its own balance between "old" and "new" when it comes to building styles, but modern buildings are for sure a positive thing. After all, if we don't continue to explore new building styles we won't be able to let future generations know what our period of history was like.(264 words)Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，现代建筑必要；第二段，因为现代建筑的实用性和舒适性；第三段，代表城市现代化；第四段；让步，传统建筑的价值。
雅思考官如何批改作文
雅思考官如何批改作文雅思考官如何批改作文雅思写作是雅思考试中非常重要的一部分，同时也是广大考友们必须攻克的一大难关。
下面就和yjbys网店铺一起来了解下雅思考官是如何批改作文吧!雅思作文这样批，系列一在执教雅思写作的这些年中，我会发现，很多时候学生会从某某老师那里获取种种所谓的“黄金模板”，又或者是高举考前必备一本，视若雅思界的圣经。
而不去管什么“碰文”。
而最最难过的却是分数不给力，才知天道难酬勤!换个方式学吧，看看隔壁的“他”的作文中那些错误的背后是否隐藏了写作的某些玄机。
请看下面这个小作文的开头段，看似行文流水，实则欲哭无泪。
As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句，小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句，而孰不知此句虽好，但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。
若论行文习惯，实在勉强。
再者，“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。
但是烤鸭们，不知啊，你让他笑，他却让你人比黄花瘦，尽管他是那样的爱你。
此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”，考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。
但考官会认为是“这table就是表格，也就是图的'一种，还后面要是再加一chart，再来一图。
实为“black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词，感觉倒是亲民派系，考官考生一家人啊。
但是，雅思写作，半学术文体，这词总有点较为随意。
所以，宁为被动，隐去施动者，换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句，或许会更好点。
雅思6分大作文考官评语
Even though doctors all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it.Why are people eating fast food?What can be done about this problem?Unfortunately as the world goes on improving people more and more are eager to have fast foods. It’s now a kind of habit for kids and also adults to spent their leisure time at fast food restaurants. On my opinion one of the major reason of using fast foods in many countries is the shortage of time that people face with. It should be investigated properly to solve this subject.As a matter of fact nowadays people in all over the world ought to work outdoors more than before. You know that living expenses are so high that spouses should work together in order to gain more. Therefore they have little time to spend on cooking.Another reason is the great advertisements which being done by TV programs or magazines, tempting everybody to use fast food. Now, parents are paying more attention to their children’s needs regardless of how much logically they are. They are about to provide their needs even if children are addicted to take fast foods or so.You know that obesity, high cholestrol, diabetes and laziness are some outcomes of fast food, and if it is neglected, may lead to serious problems.I think nutrition experts are expected to offer more warning programs to people about this matter. Government should spend a special budget on giving people some solutions about this subjects. For example making animation programs bearing warning messages for the children is one way to make them aware of it’s fate. Or cooking programs which learn how to prepare a healthy food in short time seemed to be useful in solving this problem.In conclusion, it needs to plan a serious plan and spend more time and budget to find a way on solving the perilof its widespread. I hope every person would be more careful about his or her health especially on nutrition case.Examiner commentsBoth parts of the question are addressed in this response, and the content is appropriate for the topic. The writer’s position is clear, and there are plenty of relevant ideas which are developed and supported. These are arranged in an organised way, and paragraphing is helpfully used, so that the response as a whole generally progresses coherently to the conclusion. There are errors in word choice and spelling, but the range of vocabulary is quite wide and includes some less common words which specifically relate to the topic. With regard to the grammar, there is a mix of sentence types, but errors occur with plurals, prepositions, word order and punctution, and with passives and verbs in complex structures.。
作文点评 雅思考官点评
（一）犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead，education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree？How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and societies face. Traditionally，the approach has been to punish them by placing them in prisons to pay for what they have done. Some，however，advocate for trying to make them better with training and education and it seems they may have a good point.First of all，consider all the money that we have to spend to lock people up in jail. It doesn’t seem like a good use of public money if the people don’t actually get any better. Because most criminals eventually are let out of prison，our focus should be on making them better citizens.In fact，the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn’t have a good education or happy family. So if they can learn job skills they perhaps can find work and feel they can contribute in a positive way. If they do this，they won’t need crime. Surly everyone deserves a second chance.Of course this does not mean that we should be too lenient on criminals. Those who commit crime should still be punished，but during their punishment they should also be treated. If we make an investment in them and show compassion，most will be able to make a new start.To summarize，we must make more of an effort to go to the root of the problem. We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need：education and training. By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier.（271 words）Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，赞同题目观点；第二段，罪犯在监狱里什么都不做是花着纳税人的钱的；第三段，没有接受教育和不幸的家庭是原因，要教育，要给他们机会；第四段；当然要惩罚，但惩罚和治疗并用。
雅思作文领导评语模板范文
雅思作文领导评语模板范文英文回答：Comments on Academic Writing Task 1。
Overall Impression:The candidate's writing is overall clear and concise, with good use of vocabulary and grammar. The response is well-organized and logically presented.Content:The candidate provides an accurate and detailed description of the data presented in the graph. They effectively identify the main features and trends of the data, and provide relevant examples to support their analysis.Accuracy:The candidate's description of the data is generally accurate and free of factual errors. However, there are some minor errors in the use of numbers and units of measurement.Organization:The response is well-organized and easy to follow. The candidate uses clear transitions to guide the reader through their analysis.Vocabulary:The candidate has a good range of vocabulary, and uses a variety of vocabulary-building strategies, such as synonyms, antonyms, and collocations.Grammar:The candidate's grammar is generally good, with only a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation.Coherence and Cohesion:The response is coherent and cohesive, with good use of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.Overall Score:Overall, the candidate's writing is of a high standard and demonstrates a strong command of academic English.Suggestions for Improvement:Take more care to ensure accuracy in the use of numbers and units of measurement.Expand the vocabulary range by using more advanced or technical vocabulary.Strengthen the use of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.Comments on Academic Writing Task 2。
雅思作文考官点评英文
雅思作文考官点评英文下载温馨提示:该文档是我店铺精心编制而成，希望大家下载以后，能够帮助大家解决实际的问题。
文档下载后可定制随意修改，请根据实际需要进行相应的调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种各样类型的实用资料，如教育随笔、日记赏析、句子摘抄、古诗大全、经典美文、话题作文、工作总结、词语解析、文案摘录、其他资料等等，如想了解不同资料格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by theeditor. I hope that after you download them,they can help yousolve practical problems. The document can be customized andmodified after downloading,please adjust and use it according toactual needs, thank you!In addition, our shop provides you with various types ofpractical materials,such as educational essays, diaryappreciation,sentence excerpts,ancient poems,classic articles,topic composition,work summary,word parsing,copyexcerpts,other materials and so on,want to know different data formats andwriting methods,please pay attention!This essay shows a good understanding of the topic. The ideas are presented clearly and there is a good range of vocabulary. However, there could be more examples to support the arguments. The structure is fairly straightforward, but it works well for this type of essay. The language used is mostly accurate, but there are a few minor errors. Overall, it's a decent effort.Another aspect to consider is the organization of the content. It seems a bit scattered at times and couldbenefit from a more coherent flow. Some paragraphs are stronger than others in terms of development and clarity. The writer also needs to pay attention to the use of punctuation to enhance the clarity of the writing.On the other hand, the candidate has shown creativity in presenting their ideas. There are some interesting perspectives that make the essay stand out. The use of different sentence structures adds variety to the writing.But there is still room for improvement in terms of grammar and sentence construction.。
雅思大作文四项评分标准考官这样解释
雅思大作文四项评分标准考官这样解释店铺是需要雅思成绩的，今天小编整理了雅思大作文四项评分标准的相关内容，有需要的同学们赶紧来阅读看看，希望对你有帮助。
1、Task response 即对应题目要求。
简单来说，就是不能偏题。
要回答题目要求你回答的内容。
要求有明确观点，根据题目要求来写，所举的例子都要能论证观点的。
英国作业写作对于本篇作文，考官的观点如下：As I mentioned above， misunderstanding the task （or you understand the task；however，your writing impede the communication） will affect this score.You also need to further develop your answer by giving explanations.（正如之前提到的，你对题目的理解有些偏差，或者说你理解了题目，但是你写出来的文章却有跑题之嫌。
此外，你还需要更深入、更清楚的解释你的观点，可以借助举例来详细的解释你的观点。
）2、Coherence & Cohesion 连贯性和逻辑。
逻辑性就是要求因果之间有较为直接的联系，不要跳跃性的思维。
这点是很多中国考生所忽略的，一定要是直接的原因或者结果才能紧跟其后。
而连贯性的要求就要使用恰当适合的连词，使得文章的联系更为紧密。
这篇文章考官认为：Cohesion of your essay is okay； however， cohesive devices should be used wisely and also need to examine the suggestion I gave to you in your preceding essay， as you made the same mistake again.（这篇文章的逻辑连贯性还算OK，但是连接词的使用还需提高，用法上应该更广泛，更准确。
雅思作文考官评语
雅思作文考官评语I am not able to provide an authentic IELTS examiner's comment. However, I can certainly help you understand what an IELTS examiner might look for in a candidate's writing.First and foremost, an IELTS examiner would be looking for a well-structured piece of writing that addresses the task at hand. This means that the candidate should clearly introduce the topic, present relevant ideas and examples, and provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points.In addition to structure, an examiner would also be assessing the candidate's ability to use a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. It's important for the candidate to demonstrate a good command of English and to avoid repeating the same words and phrases throughout their writing.Furthermore, an examiner would be interested in seeing how well the candidate can develop and support their ideas. This means providing specific examples and evidence to back up their arguments, rather than simply stating opinions without any support.Finally, an examiner would also be looking for coherence and cohesion in the candidate's writing. This means that the candidate should use linking words and phrases to connect their ideas and create a smooth flow throughout the essay.Overall, an IELTS examiner would be assessing the candidate's ability to communicate effectively in written English, including their ability to address the task, use a wide range of vocabulary and grammar, develop and support ideas, and create a coherent and cohesive piece of writing. I hope this helps you understand what an IELTS examiner might look for in a candidate's writing.。
雅思老师对高考作文的评价
雅思老师对高考作文的评价As an IELTS teacher, I am often asked to evaluate high school students' essays for the college entrance examination. It is important for me to provideconstructive feedback that will help them improve their writing skills andincrease their chances of success. In this essay, I will discuss the common strengths and weaknesses I have observed in high school students' essays, as well as provide some tips for improvement.One of the most common strengths I have noticed in high school students' essays is their ability to express their ideas clearly and coherently. Many students are able to present their arguments in a logical manner, usingappropriate examples and evidence to support their points. This demonstrates a good understanding of essay structure and organization, which is essential for effective communication.However, one of the main weaknesses I often see in students' essays is a lack of depth and critical thinking. Many students tend to rely on superficial analysis and fail to delve into the complexities of the topic. This can result in essaysthat are shallow and lack originality. To address this, I encourage students to think critically about the topic and consider different perspectives beforeforming their own opinions. This can help them develop more nuanced arguments and produce more compelling essays.Another common issue I have noticed is a lack of vocabulary and language proficiency. Many students struggle to express themselves effectively in English, which can hinder their ability to communicate their ideas clearly. To address this, I encourage students to expand their vocabulary and practice using more sophisticated language structures. Reading extensively and engaging in regular writing practice can help students improve their language skills and become more confident writers.In addition, I have observed that some students struggle with grammar and punctuation, leading to errors that can affect the clarity and coherence of their writing. To address this, I recommend that students pay close attention to grammar and punctuation rules, and seek feedback from teachers or peers to identify and correct any mistakes. By improving their language proficiency, students can enhance the overall quality of their essays.Furthermore, many students struggle with time management when writing their essays, often spending too much time on one section and not leaving enough time to revise and edit their work. To address this, I advise students to practice writing under timed conditions and develop a clear plan for organizing their ideas before they begin writing. This can help them improve their efficiency and produce more polished essays.Finally, I have noticed that some students struggle with staying on topic and addressing the essay prompt directly. It is important for students to carefully read and understand the essay prompt, and ensure that their writing is focused and relevant to the given topic. I encourage students to practice analyzing essay prompts and brainstorming ideas before they begin writing, to ensure that they stay on track and produce essays that are well-aligned with the given topic.In conclusion, while high school students often demonstrate strengths in clear expression and logical organization, they also face challenges such as lack of depth, language proficiency, grammar and punctuation errors, time management, and staying on topic. By addressing these common weaknesses and implementing the suggested tips for improvement, students can enhance their writing skills and increase their chances of success in the college entrance examination. It is my hope that through targeted feedback and guidance, students can develop the necessary skills to become more effective and confident writers.。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性，平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益，请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间：9:00-18:30)。
（一）犯罪类雅思作文高分范文及点评Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead，education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree？How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and societies face. Traditionally，the approach has been to punish them by placing them in prisons to pay for what they have done. Some，however，advocate for trying to make them better with training and education and it seems they may have a good point.First of all，consider all the money that we have to spend to lock people up in jail. It doesn’t seem like a good use of public money if the people don’t actually get any better. Because most criminals eventually are let out of prison，our focus should be on making them better citizens.In fact，the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn’t have a good education or happy family. So if they can learn job skills they perhaps can find work and feel they can contribute in a positive way. If they do this，they won’t need crime. Surly everyone deserves a second chance.Of course this does not mean that we should be too lenient on criminals. Those who commit crime should still be punished，but during their punishment they should also be treated. If we make an investment in them and show compassion，most will be able to make a new start.To summarize，we must make more of an effort to go to the root of the problem. We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need：education and training. By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier.（271 words）Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，赞同题目观点；第二段，罪犯在监狱里什么都不做是花着纳税人的钱的；第三段，没有接受教育和不幸的家庭是原因，要教育，要给他们机会；第四段；当然要惩罚，但惩罚和治疗并用。
末段总结。
好文章。
末段第二句的比喻给本文增色不少，：We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need：education and training.十分贴切。
先学习下面的词汇和短语，然后再重读范文，体会它们在文中的运用词汇Punish vt.惩罚，处罚Advocate vt.提倡jail n.监狱=prisonlenient adj.宽大的，仁慈的compassion n.同情patient n.病人短语in jail监禁end up最后结果commit crime犯罪make an investment in…投资于make an effort to do 努力去做三分钟熟读或背诵本文最实用的三个句子In fact，the reason why many people end up in jail in the first place is because they didn’t have a good education or happy family.We need to treat criminals as patients and give them the medicine they need：education and training.By giving people the skills for a second chance we can make our society safer and healthier.（二）服装类雅思作文高分范文及点评流行时尚In modern society，fashion is becoming more highly valued in people‘s choice of clothes. Why？Do you think it is a positive or negative development？It seems that in recent years more and more people，especially in urban areas，are dressing more stylishly. Nowadays it is not uncommon to see people walking around in brand name clothes and sunglasses like celebrities. But why is this happening and is it a positive development？Personally I feel that whether it’s good or bad depends on the individual’s attitude.The cause of this fashion obsession surely is connected to movies and pop culture. In today’s society，we are constantly seeing images of attractive movies stars and MTV videos with pop icons wearing the most recent styles. To some extent，and perhaps even subconsciously，this affects our own behaviour as we imitate what we see.One on level，being fashionable is quite healthy. It is natural for us to want to look good，because if we look good we feel good about ourselves. Especially in today’s world of work and relationships，it’s important to have good self-esteem and be confident. Looking good can help us achieve that.But from another angle，being too fashion-conscious has its problems. Sometimes people end up obsessing about buying the most expensive things and look down upon others who can’t afford them. Such people become superficial and often don’t pay enough attention to the important things in life，like friendship and being a good person.So in the end，each person has to find the right balance regarding how fashionable to be. There is nothing wrong with looking good and feeling good; in fact it’s human. But we must also be sure not to dwell on it so much.（265 words）Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，引出现象并表态；第二段，问答第一个问题why；第三段，positive；第四段；negative。
末段总结。
本文清新自然，没有大道理，很多小常识。
比如第三段第二句：It is natural for us to want to look good，because if we look good we feel good about ourselves. 好作文不是高难词汇的堆砌。
最简单的词汇也可以直指人心，赢得读者共鸣。
先学习下面的词汇和短语，然后再重读范文，体会它们在文中的运用词汇stylishly adv.时髦地celebrity n.名人，名流obsession n.迷住，迷恋pop adj.流行的，通俗的icon n. 偶像，图标subconsciously adv.下意识地imitate v.模仿fashionable adj.流行的，时髦的self-esteem n.自尊superficial adj.肤浅的短语depend on取决于be connected to 和…有联系to some extent 某种程度上from another angle从另一方面看look down upon 瞧不起pay attention to 关注dwell on 仔细研究三分钟熟读或背诵本文最实用的三个句子Nowadays it is not uncommon to see people walking around in brand name clothes and sunglasses like celebrities.Personally I feel that whether it’s good or bad depends on the individual’s attitude.Especially in today’s world of work and relationships，it’s important to have good self-esteem and be confident.（三）建筑类雅思作文高分范文及点评建筑风格Modern buildings are appearing in large numbers but some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree？In recent years，an interesting trend has emerged. Countries with long histories and rich cultures have been modernizing the quickest，especially in terms of architecture. Many have criticized this as not respecting traditional culture. While traditional architecture should be protected，however，I feel it is not necessary to stop building modern structures as we move forward.One reason for this is that modern buildings are more practical and comfortable to live and work in. While traditional buildings might look nice from the outside，they are often not very user-friendly. Modern buildings usually have lots of windows and light and are clean and energy efficient. Surely this will make those inside them happier.Another point to consider is that modern buildings will give a good impression to those visiting from abroad. Consider Beijing during the Olympics，for example. Many foreigners were surprised to see all of the stunning new building designs. In the long run，this will probably attract more business and tourists to the country.Of course，traditional architecture still has its value. Everyone loves visiting famous historical places and admiring architectural styles from throughout history. We should protect and appreciate such places for future generations，but at the same time，we don’t have to live in the past.Ultimately，each city needs to find its own balance between “old” and “new” when it comes to building styles，but modern buildings are for sure a positive thing. After all，if we don’t continue to explore new building styles we won’t be able to let future generations know what our period of history was like.（264 words）Harvey点评：写作线索：首段，现代建筑必要；第二段，因为现代建筑的实用性和舒适性；第三段，代表城市现代化；第四段；让步，传统建筑的价值。