小品英语
喜剧小品英语作文
喜剧小品英语作文Comedy Skit。
Comedy skits are a popular form of entertainment that has been around for centuries. They are short, humorous performances that often involve exaggerated characters, funny situations, and quick-witted dialogue. Comedy skits can be performed on stage, on television, or even in a casual setting among friends. They are a great way to bring people together and make them laugh.One of the most famous comedy skits of all time is "Who's on First?" by Abbott and Costello. This skit features a hilarious misunderstanding between two characters, Abbott and Costello, as they try to figure out the names of baseball players. The skit is a classic example of quick, witty dialogue and perfect timing, and it never fails to make audiences laugh.Another popular comedy skit is "The Dinner Party" byMonty Python. In this skit, a group of friends gather for a dinner party, but things quickly spiral out of control as the guests become increasingly absurd and the situation becomes more and more chaotic. The skit is a perfect example of absurd humor and the power of physical comedy.Comedy skits are a great way to showcase talent and creativity. They often involve a lot of physical comedy, clever wordplay, and exaggerated characters. They can also be a great way to address serious topics in a lighthearted way, making them accessible to a wide audience.In addition to being entertaining, comedy skits can also be a valuable tool for teaching and learning. They can help students develop their acting skills, improve their timing and delivery, and learn how to engage an audience. They can also be a great way to explore different genres of comedy, from slapstick to satire to parody.In conclusion, comedy skits are a timeless form of entertainment that has the power to bring people together and make them laugh. Whether they are performed on stage,on television, or among friends, comedy skits are a great way to showcase talent, creativity, and humor. They are a valuable tool for teaching and learning, and they have the power to entertain and uplift audiences of all ages. So next time you're in need of a good laugh, consider watching or performing a comedy skit. You won't be disappointed!。
英语小品
黄锐： "anta, i feel flying in the sky."
安踏，飞一般Βιβλιοθήκη 感觉 李孟昕： "how do you feel wearing so many famous brand?"
你穿那么多名牌是什么感觉？
黄锐： "belide， wonderful every day!"
达先燊：One day ,teachers look two persons climbing the wall out of the school, but caught by the teachers.
一天，老师们看见两个人从墙爬进学校，但是被他们抓住了。
王琪譞：Why are you
怎么是你们？
美特斯邦威，不走寻常路
李孟昕： " how do you climb over such a high wall?"
那你是如何翻过这么高的墙的呢？
黄锐：" li ning, anything is possible."
李宁，一切皆有可能
李孟昕： "which feeling do you feel when you climb over the wall?"
王琪譞: it's yours!
是你的啦（害羞）
胡弘毅：mine？(repeat several times)
我的？（重复几次）
李孟昕: your yi da, your yi da, your families are all yi da! I know, she must have seen the green vegetables of yesterday on your teeth!
8人英语小品剧本
Buying MedicineCharacters:X ------Xiao FeiS ------ ShopkeeperD ----- Doctor LiO- -----Others ( O1, O2 O3 ----- )Ws ------ Wounded soldiers ( W1, W2,W3 ----- )H ---- He zhenwu, a Japanese spyW ----- WomanJ ----- JapaneseScene1( At an old temple lie some wounded soldiers. D is examining their wounds.) D: Good evening, everyone.Ws: ( T ogether) Good evening, Dr Li.D: Hello, let me examine you.W1: I’m all right. There’s no need to do so. ( W1 is about to fall down.)D:(Help s him up)Y our leg d iscloses yo u!L et m e hav e a lo ok.Ah,it’s go ing worse.Let me put somemedicine on y ou.W1:No,it isn’t necessary.There is li t t le m ed icine left.Go tolo ok after thatyoung man. He has a highfever. He seems fainted.D: ( Takes W2’s temperature. ) So he has! He needs an injection but we have no ne.Fe e d h imthe se last thre e p ills with warm w ater.What e lse can I d o?There’sno medicine left.W3: Don’t worry, Doctor. I am young and strong. I am all tight now. I’ll go and buy some medicine.D: No, you are not all right. Your leg will bleed when you move. Lie down andhave a good rest.W4: So you can let me go . I can run very fast. The enemy cannot catch me.( J ust then, Xiao Fei comes in.)X: Be quiet everybody. Y ou must have a good r est. This is o rder, you know.W1: But there’s no medicine left.X: That’s why I’m here. I’ve come to fetch the list . I’ll go to town to buy medicine.D: Have you got any money?X: No.D: ( Takes off her gold ring.) Take this with you. Perhaps you can change it for medicine.X: No, I can’t take it , because it is given to you by your future husband who g ave up his life to the re volutio n a fe w d ays ag o.It m u stn’t g o to o the r p e o p le’shands.D: But how can you get the medicine without money?X: Don’t worry. I’ll manage. Goodbye.D and Ws: Be careful!Scene2( Music) ( Xiao is walking on the way like a businessman. He sings as he goes.When he Passes a corn field, he sees He Zhenwu the Japanese spy robbing awoman)W: Help! Help!H:You needn’t cry.There’s nobody else here.Let me a m r r y yo u and m ake yourself noble.W: You Japanese spy! No one will marry you.H: Otherwise I’ll kill you! ( He raises his gun and the woman catches hold of his wrist . They start a fight. Finally, H knocks W down. Just then X arrives)X: Stop! D on’t bully Chinese woman!H:It’s non e o f yo ur b usine s s!Go away.X: I would rather stop you. ( H raises his gun towards X. X kicks it away. Theyb egin a fig ht.W pu ts on h is clothes W and beg ins to p ull H’s leg.X knocks Hdown)X: (To W) Quick! Help me tie him up.W: You are bleeding. Let me do first aid.X: It doesn’t matter. Pull him into the corn fields.H: Please spare my life. I won’t do that again( W takes up the gun and is about to shoot.)X: Don’t do that. If the Japanese hear the shot, they’ll come.H: Thank you, sir. But please let me go.X:L e t yo u g o?Y o u’ll co n tinue to kill and b ully Chine se!(X p u ts his socks in to H’s mouth.) Wait here . And lend me your pass and bike. Don’t try to run away. (They go down.)Scene 3(Music) (X is riding a bike toward town. He sings as he goes along)J1 and J2: Stop! Show me your pass.X: Here you are!J1 & J2: ( After reading i t.) Hi! Salute. ( They Salute.) ( X goes through the town gate and after some time stops at a drug shop and knocks at the door.)S:Who’s it?X:It’s m e,a cust o m e r.S: (To O1) Gotoanswer the door.O1: come in, please. You are the only customer for these days.S: What can I do far you?X: ( Hands him the pass.) We Japanese assistant soldier need some medicine. Here is the list.S: Oh, so much medicine! Do you have enough money?X:We’ll send you the money in a few days’time.Quick,this is o rd e r. ( Shows him his g un.)S: All right! All right!S: ( To O1) Quick! Give him the medicineO1: All right . ( Hands it to X.) Here you are.X: I have to go now. Bye-bye.S: ( To O1) Quick! Close the door.O1: All right. ( He closes it.)S: ( Makes a telephone call.) Hi! This is No1 Medicine Shop. Just now, a man came in and took a lot of medicine away. Perhaps he belongs to the Eighth Route Army . Stop him, quick!( X rides his bike fast. Soon he arrives at the gate, J1 is receiving a phone call. J2 signs himto s top. X rides towards himand knocks himout. J1 begins to s hort athim. Soon he arrives at a bridge, where two soldiers stand . X kills themwith twoshots. A crowd of soldiers rush towards him. He run into the corn field. H has just frees himself and is about to leave.)J3: Oh, here he is!js:(To g e ther)Do n’t m o ve!Ha nd s up!H: I’m sorry. I’m not Eighth -----J4: Tie him up. ( They tie him up and beat him.)H: Ouch! I belongto J apanese army.J5:Don’t listen to him.He’s lying.Put himin our car.L et’s g o.(They g odown.)X: (X goes through the corn field and comes up to a street. He meets someJapanese and fights them. He kills some of them and enters a lane. Finally he arrives at the temple. D and Ws come to welcome him)D: Here comes our hero.Ws: Congratulations.X: T hank you, everybody.。
英语小品剧本
《英语小品剧本：误会一场》场景一：公园长椅角色：Tom（汤姆）、Lily（莉莉）、Mike（迈克）（汤姆坐在公园的长椅上，手里拿着一本英语书，莉莉和迈克悄悄走近）Tom:（自言自语）这个单词怎么念来着？oh, it's "misunderstanding"。
Lily:（轻声对迈克说）你看，汤姆又在学英语了，咱们去逗逗他。
Mike: 好主意！（莉莉和迈克走到汤姆身边）Lily: 嘿，汤姆，你在学英语呢？我们来帮你练习练习吧！Tom: 哦，是你们啊，那太好了，我正愁没人陪我练习呢。
Mike: 那我们就开始吧！我先来一个句子。
Mike: "I saw a cat in the tree."Tom:（疑惑）嗯？树上怎么会有猫呢？是不是应该说成"I saw a bird in the tree."？Lily:（偷笑）汤姆，你太可爱了。
迈克说的是猫，不是鸟。
Tom:（尴尬）哦，原来是这样，那我来造一个句子吧。
Tom: "Yesterday, I went to the zoo and saw a lion."Mike:（故作惊讶）哇，汤姆，你昨天去动物园看到狮子了？太厉害了！Lily:（捂嘴笑）迈克，你别逗他了。
汤姆，你继续。
Lily:（调侃）汤姆，你该不会是说她喜欢吃苹果核吧？Tom:（苦笑）不是不是，我是说她喜欢吃苹果。
你们别逗我了，我都被你们弄晕了。
Mike: 哈哈，汤姆，我们就是想让你放松一下，不要太紧张。
其实你的英语进步很大，继续加油哦！场景二：咖啡店角色：Tom（汤姆）、Lily（莉莉）、Mike（迈克）、Sarah（莎拉）（汤姆、莉莉和迈克在咖啡店坐下，莎拉是服务员）Sarah: 欢迎光临，请问你们需要点些什么？Tom:（尝试用英语点单）I'd like a cup of coffee, please.Sarah:（微笑）Sure, would you like any sugar or milk with that?Tom:（犹豫）Uh, just a little sugar, thank you.Lily:（帮汤姆补充）And two pieces of cake, please. One chocolate and one strawberry.Sarah:（点头）Alright, one coffee with a little sugar, and two pieces of cake. Anything else?Mike:（开玩笑）Can we have a slice of the sky? I heardit's delicious.Sarah:（忍俊不禁）I'm afraid we're all out of sky today, sir. But we do have a nice view of it through the window.Tom:（笑）Mike, you're so funny. Thanks, Sarah.Lily: 汤姆，你刚才点单的表现很不错嘛！Mike:（提议）对了，我们不如来模拟一下日常对话，这样可以帮助汤姆更好地练习英语。
英语小品
男生：嗨， Misy. Hi,Misy.男生：你在干什么呢？ What are you doing?女生：你好,Jack. Hello Jack.女生：我在绕口令。
I’m doing tongue twisters.男生：绕口令？我也喜欢啊。
你听听。
Robert? I also like then . You listen.A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.女生：真棒。
可是黑虫、黑熊太可怕了，你听我的。
Great. But black bug and bear are too terrible, you listen to me.How much dew would a dewdrop drop if a dewdrop could drop dew?男生：Misy，女孩子就是女孩子，喜欢小露珠。
Misy, girls are girls, like small dew.男生：我们再来一首难点的，好吗？We come again with a difficult one, ok?女生：没问题，嗯，（思考）好，听我的。
well, Ok, listen to me.Bill had a billboard.Bill also had a board bill.The board bill bored Bill,So Bill sold his billboardAnd paid his board bill.Then the board billNo longer bored Bill,But though he had no board bill,Neither did he have his billboard!男生：（惊讶）哇，太了不起了！Wow, so wonderful!女生：轮到你了。
英语私人小品剧本六篇
英语私人小品剧本六篇Little Red Riding Hood第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?Mum：（一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!Mum：（亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.第二场：在路上(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.Wolf：（wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地答复)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eatGrandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）Little Red Riding Hood：（停顿跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.Six Ducks：Goodbye．第三场：Grandma家Grandma：（喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。
英语小品
英语三人小品Linda:Good morning,What can I do for you?琳达：早上好，我们能为你们做什么呢？Jane:Good morning.My name is Jane Stewart .And this is my brother Alex Stewart 简：早上好.我的名字是简·斯图尔特。
这是我哥哥亚历克斯·斯图尔特。
Alex:Hi.Good morning.Yesterday we found a dog named lucky亚历克斯：早上好。
昨天我们发现这只叫lucky的狗。
Jane:We have thought many ways to find its host,but we don’t succeed ultimately. 简：我们认为很多方法来发现它的主人，但是我们最终不能成功。
Linda:Oh,wait a while.You know by rule, I must make a record .琳达：噢，等一会儿。
你知道我必须做一个记录。
Jane:No problem.简：没问题。
Linda:Ok. Miss.Stewart.Then,please tell me your address?琳达：好的Stewart 小姐。
那么，请告诉我你的地址？Jane:46 Linden Street,Riverdale.简：林登街46，Riverdale.Linda:Where did you find the dog?琳达：你在什么地方找到这条狗的？Alex:Speak exactly,not we found her.It’s she found us in our house.亚历克斯：讲到底，不是我们发现她，而是她在简的房子里发现我们的。
Linda:Have you tried calling the number on the collar?琳达：你试着打过领子上的号码吗？Jane:Yes,but the number is no longer in service.So we only ask you for help.简：是的，但是号码不再服务。
英文情景喜剧
英语小品剧本 -- 英文小短剧人物：A:衣衫褴褛Begger B:衣着光鲜Gentleman C: 小花 Flower D: 小草 G rass E: 椅子Chair F: 新闻记者Journalist（B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前）A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。
A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to d ie.B：（厌恶）让开，让开。
（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了）B:get away,get away,dirty man.A：先生，先生（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B）A：sir，sir！B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了）B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,eit her.C：他真愚蠢啊C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he?D：是啊是啊（D点头附和）D:yes,yes.A：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着B衣服的后摆）A:but....sir....please listen to me.....B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看A一眼）B:wa,why are you so disgusting!!C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stup id.E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.D：是啊是啊D:yes,yes!!与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。
英语小品
武松打虎Part One: drinking wine! Action!武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, the most famous, the most clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister in law Pan jinlian! She poisoned my brother. I told my brother Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. (叹气，唉….跟音乐一起唱且跳舞)Dangerous, dangerous! （加进舞蹈）The girl is dangerous.潘金莲：You just mistake me. I am the most beautiful and pretty women in the street!(pretty women音乐响起）,your brother is gone. I will go back to my hometown to spend my life. Good night, ladies and gentlemen!(潘金莲退场）武松(见到酒店一家)：A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. (进屋坐下)Waiter! Wine! Wine! The best wine!小二：Hi, sir. Sit down please. Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?武松：（晕晕乎乎地）How much is the XO?小二：1880 ( 展示大瓶酒，醒目的标价)。
武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou! It’s strong enough.小二：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.武松：Anything to eat?小二：Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?武松：Ten pizzas, please.小二: Here you are!武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!（小二上了两碗酒武松喝了，却是不再倒了）武松：I want more wine. Why not serve me?服务员！怎么不倒酒了？小二：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way! 客官，要比萨饼就给您，这酒就不添了。
英语小品剧本-《不差钱》英文版
小品：“不差钱”（2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目）Got the Money Anyway（舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。
本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。
）(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山：到了。
Yadar Here we are. 毛毛：到了。
Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰调情~~~赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。
这不，苏格兰调情（tiáo qíng）。
Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调！！毛毛：爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调（qíng diào）。
Uncle Zhao 情调（qíng diào）All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山：啊，情调？就搁这儿吃。
Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛：爷爷，这家老贵的啦。
Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag?赵本山：贵？咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢？Yadar What bag? 毛毛：我没拿包啊。
英语小品剧本3篇
英语小品剧本3篇英语小品剧本3一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了许多惊奇的事情。
烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察，甚至还遇到了鬼。
CastErin Chang: RobberDebby Tsai: Police officerSerrin Lee: Betel nut girlAlec Zhao: Ghost studentLeo Lee: Taxi driverYi-ling Chen: Pregnant womanSummaryThis story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student.Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go?Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I〞m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please.Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there〞s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you〞re going to Chong-Shan North Road?Betel nut girl: Um, I〞m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later.Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You〞re probably not married since you〞re so young. Do you have a girlfriend?Tommy: Um...miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look?Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don〞t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax.Tommy: What...what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I〞ll scream!Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off.Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you.Betel nut girl: Um! Take it!Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi!Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man.Tommy: Where are you going?Pregnant woman: Hospital, please.Tommy: You〞re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must bevery tiring carrying a baby.Pregnant woman: Yeah. It〞s almost nine months.Tommy: Woo. Congratulations.Pregnant woman: Thank you.Pregnant woman: (screaming)Tommy: Are you ok?Pregnant woman: (screaming)Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down.Pregnant woman: (screaming)Tommy: We〞re almost there.Pregnant woman: (screaming)Tommy: Here we are.Pregnant woman: Are we at the hospital? Well, how much is it?Tommy: Aren〞t you going into labor?Pregnant woman: Me? Are you kidding? It〞s still a long time before the expected date of childbirth.Tommy: What? Well, what were you just doing?Pregnant woman: Oh, I was just practicing! This is my first time to have a baby, you know. Practice makes perfect! I need to be ready so it will go smoothly.Tommy: Practice! All right... well, the total is one hundred twentydollars.Tommy: This woman was so strange! I thought she was going to deliver the baby in my car!Robber: Get out of here, quickly!Tommy: A strange pregnant woman just got off my car and now here comes a robber.Tommy: Where do you want to go?Robber: Shut up! Just drive!Tommy: Hey...Hey. Be careful, there〞s no eye in bullets.Robber: Shut up! Just drive your car.Tommy: Ok! Ok! You are the boss.Robber: Hum...your gold necklace is very good looking. If it were on my neck, that would be nice.Tommy: Oh.. .. e on, don〞t do this to me. This is a fake one. I just try to look tough by wearing it.Robber: STOP nonsense!! Don〞t treat me like a fool, I warn you! I will shoot you!Tommy: OK! OK! Take it easy. My mouth is sealed.Robber: .... I don〞t want to do this ...really... but I have 6 brothers, 7 sisters and 8 kids to feed. I even have to sell chewing gums, raise pigs. The worse of all, my husband just got out of the jail...I really have no choice.Tommy: Don〞t be so sad.... Here is tissue.Robber: Thank you. Now give me your gold necklace! Hurry up! Do you want to eat bullets!!Tommy: But...but...but....Robber: Just hand it to me or I〞ll become a really bad guy!!Tommy: I don〞t want to die yet.The police: Beep~Beep~ stop the car.Tommy: OH! Thank God! I am safe now! Hey, cop, a robber wants to rob me and....Police officer: Show me your license and registration.Tommy: But...sir....I got a robber in my back....Police officer: I only watch out for traffic! The public security is not my business.Tommy: Not your business? But...Police officer: Here〞s your ticket. You were speeding.Tommy: But I got a robber in my car! She told me if I couldn〞t drive fast enough, she〞d shoot me.Police officer: And where is the robber?Tommy: Just right over....what!! She〞s gone; she was here just now....Police officer: See....your lie is stupid... Remember to take the ticket.Tommy: Sir! Sir!Tommy: I〞m so unlucky. Today is not my day! Oh, no! How did I come to this middle-of-nowhere? Someone〞s waving at me. Who would take a taxi in this strange place?Tommy: Hello! Serving you is my honor. Where do you want to go? Ghost student: To my home, please.Tommy: Um...can you say it more clearly? I don〞t know where your home is.Ghost student: Oh, my home is located on Ta-Du Mountain.Tommy: No problem. Um... it〞s an unusual place to live.Ghost student: Yes. It〞s very special. My ancestors all lived here.Tommy: Oh! You〞ve lived here for a long time, right?Ghost student: That〞s right.Tommy: Here we are, but I don〞t see any houses around. By the way, it〞s so dark here.Ghost student: Don〞t be so surprised. We〞re in the mountain.Tommy: Are you sure your home is here?Ghost student: Yes. How much is it?Tommy: Um...The total is 100 dollars.Ghost student: I only have a 500 dollars bill.Tommy: That〞s OK, I can give you change.Ghost student: There you go.Tommy: Um... What〞s this?Ghost student: Money.Tommy: But...where did he go? Oh, no!...This is...ghost money...(screaming)。
英语小品幽默经典十则
英语小品幽默经典十则（一）成功法则Y oung doctor: Well, Dad, now that I'm hanging out my shingle, can you give me some rules for success? Father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills very plainly.年轻的医生：哦，爸，现在我都挂牌开诊了，你能给我些成功法则吗？父亲：总是把药方写的难以辨认，而账单却清清楚楚。
（二）She Didn’t Say AnythingA mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。
“How do you know?” asked her father.“She didn’t say anything.”（三）I Have T urned It OverA woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It’s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and t hen said, “I don’t think it’s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”（四）ImprovementOne student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?""Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."（四）进步一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
英语小品剧本
Keep Away From The Net Bar场景：1、中午，一间网吧内乌烟瘴气，几台电脑正传出游戏的声音。
2、教室里摆着一张讲台，几张桌椅，一块活动黑板。
快放学了，老师正在讲评考卷，同学们在订正。
3.老师带领学生回网吧要书包4.教室里，老师公布新一次的成绩。
对Tom 的进步作出表扬并倡导大家远离网吧。
剧中人物：Tom，boss，Ms.Wu，student A\ B道具：几张桌椅，几台“电脑”，一张讲台，一块活动黑板，下课铃声，试卷Reporter：Scene1:This is a net bar.This room is full of smog and the noise of playing computer games.Now,it’s 12 o’clock.There’s still a lot of people sitting in front of the computers.Look,Tom is one of them.He is playing computer games carefully.Tom：（手指在键盘上跳跃，两眼注视着屏幕。
兴奋地说）Oh,yeah! I win! I'm the winner!Boss：（翘着脚坐在一旁。
）Hi,Little kid,time is up,you must stop.Tom：（揉揉眼睛，作疲劳状，）Wait a moment,boss.Let me play for a while. I'll win this game.Boss：ok. But you have to pay me more money.Tom：OK. OK. Please wait a minute,I'll pay you the money. （继续前全神贯注地玩着游戏。
）Tom：（特别兴奋的样子，跳起对着老板兴奋地说）Oh,yeah. I've passed this game!I made it.Boss：Congratulations!But don't forget to pay me the money.Tom：（边拿起书包背上，边走，边问老板。
英语小品6人搞笑简短
英语小品6人搞笑简短Scene: A living room. Six people are sitting around, talking.Person 1: So, I was thinking, we should do something fun this weekend.Person 2: Like what?Person 3: I know! We can go to the movies.Person 4: That's a great idea. What movie do you want to see?Person 5: I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for anything too serious.Person 6: Me neither. Let's see if there's anything funny playing.Person 1: Okay, I'll check the listings.(Person 1 gets up and goes to the computer.)。
Person 2: So, what do you think we should do after the movie?Person 3: We could go out to dinner.Person 4: That sounds good to me.Person 5: Me too.Person 6: Where should we go?Person 1: (Comes back from the computer.) There's a new comedy playing at the theater down the street. It looks pretty good.Person 2: That sounds like fun.Person 3: I'm in.Person 4: Me too.Person 5: Let's do it.Person 6: Great. I'll buy the tickets.(Everyone gets up and starts to leave.)。
英语小品
DOCTOR----Come in, please. I’m Dr. Jake（请进，我是杰克大夫）SICK----I’mMike.（我是麦克）DOCTOR---- Have a seat. What seems to be the problem? （坐，咋了？）SICK----I’ve got an ache（我这儿疼用手捂着肚子>）DOCTOR----Here? （这？按一按病人的痛的地方>）SICK----No, here.（不是，这儿）DOCTOR----Here? （再按按>是这儿吗）SICK----Ouch! （嚄！疼！）DOCTOR----Great! Appendicitis! I must operate on you now! （不错！阑尾炎！我这就给你手术）SICK----What?! But…（什么？但是。
）DOCTOR----Operation ….about 10,000 yuan（大概一万块）SICK----What? （什么？！）DOCTOR----I am a Doctor or you are! （我是大夫还是你是大夫）SICK----But I have cut it last time! （但是我上次已经割掉了！）DOCTOR----Oh! That’s terrible! Come on! Check your heart! Is it beat?（哦！癌变了！来来，检查心跳，看看还跳不跳拿起听诊器，不小心听到了右边>）SICK----If it’s not I can’t live~（不跳我就死了）DOCTOR----Oh your heartbeat is stop! （天哪！没心跳了！）SICK----It’s left…（在左边）DOCTOR----Metastasis! Let me have your pulse! 60 times each minute! Good! （转移了！看看脉搏不小心按到了病人的手表上>一分钟60下，不错！）SICK----It is my watch! （那是我的表故意露出来表给观众看到>）SICK----Ouch! My leg! （噢！我的腿！）DOCTOR----Don’t worry! I am a doctor! Let me inspects your body! （别急！我是大夫！让我看看）SICK----I trust you? Oh! Give me a break! （我信你？！饶了我吧！）SICK----Any one there? Help…（对着外面喊：有人吗？救命！）DOCTOR----Keep quiet! Don’t move! Don’t speak aloud! We must keep our energy!（安静！别动！别大声喊！我们必须保持体力等待救援！）PLA 1----Is anyone alive here? (3 times)（多喊几遍有人活着吗）Sick and doctor---- Help! （救命）PLA 1----Hold on! I will save your life! （坚持住！我来救你们！）PLA 2----Anyone Survive? （现在还有人生还吗？）PLA 1----Yes! You see, now I’m digging, I detected that there are two people alive in this building.（是的！你看，我正在挖人呢，我发现有两个人还活着！）PLA2----With the shovel? You will hurt them! （用铲子？你会伤到他们！）PLA1----Oh! I see! (Then use hands) （有道理！说罢开始用手挖）PLA 2----They are here. (他们在这里！)PLA 1----Are you OK? （你们还好吗！）DOCTOR AND SICK----We are ok, but my leg is hurt.（好呢！但是我的腿受伤了！）PLA 1----Take it easy! （别担心！坚持住！）DOCTOR AND SICK----Felt relieved to hear that! We’ll be very careful! We are thirsty! Water! Quickly! Water! （这我们就放心了！我们会小心的！我们好渴！要水！快！水！）PLA 1----Now this is a big hole, Try to climb out（现在挖了个大洞！试着爬出来！）SICK----Let me see…(She climb out from the hole)（我试试病人比较瘦，爬了出来>）DOCTOR----It’s my turn now. Oh shit! I am stuck!....Help!（轮到我了,卡住了,救我！）PLA 1----What a fat man! （真肥！）往外拉不出来，失败！PLA 1----Come on everyone! （大家来帮忙啊!）At last, A Complete Success! 终于成功了。
搞笑小学英语小品剧本.doc
搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作] 树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。
树站回后台]兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！[偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走] [农夫跟在兔子后面。
两个人走啊走。
兔子突然回头。
农夫假装看手表。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
农夫假装看天气。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
农夫假装打手机。
英语小品剧本
-英语小品剧本《追星》人物：追星A, 追星B，追星C，明星，车主旁白经纪人旁白：A girl is crazy about a star called Handsome+人名. Even when she is asleep, she can dream that man.A：(打哈欠)，I need to go to bed, I’m so sleepy.(打哈欠)——边走边说（趴在讲台上睡）（进入梦乡）旁白：In her dream……(上台摆两个凳子，A做一个)A：Oh, it’s a fine day. (假装看天) (然后突然不经意的拿起一本书翻看)明星：(上台)：Oh, it’s a fine day. (然后坐凳子)(A看着看着书，就不经意的往旁边看，然后再看看书，突然感觉不对劲，在意外的往旁边看，看到了自己最喜爱的那个明星，十分激动，不敢相信这是真的)A：Are you …are you that …super star?(激动地说不出话)明星：（随意的回答）Yes, what’s wrong?A: I’m your fan,super fan. Your photos are full of my bedroom, no, they are full of my house, including kitchen, living room, bedrooms, and… and toilet.(激动，后面讲到厕所时，还有点不好意思)(当明星听到厕所时，很惊讶)明星：You are too…enthusiastic [in,θju:zi'?stik]. (有点嫌弃)A: Can you give me your signature?(讲到签名，明星就兴奋了)明星：Ok ,of course!A：（大声喊）Oh ,I will have the Handsome______’s signature (突然，两个人跑过来，B把A给推开了然后两人问明星要签名) B：Please ,please give me signature!!!!!!!C: No, give it to me, to me!!!(两人抢着，A一人孤零零的站在旁边，)A: Why the result is this ?(抱头痛哭，边走边哭，然后走到睡觉的那个地方，恢复原来的样子，还有点啜泣)A：Er? Where is it? Oh,it’s just a dream , but ,it’s a bad dream. It’s too early, I want sleep.(又趴下去)旁白：In her second dream, the scene is at the crossroads.A: Look at the tall buildings, they like the …like the …I don’t have any adjrectives to describe them.(明星上场，走在对面，也在欣赏某些东西)A：Oh ,look at there, that man is like a star ! Oh ,Oh ,Oh ,(一次比一次激动)he is …..he is…..Handsome_______！I want his signature! But there is too much cars, What can I do? What can I do? I don’t care this any more, the signature is more important!(正当他准备过马路时，车主做开车动作来了，将要撞A，A很害怕)车主：Look out!A:Don’t come here, don’t come here!(闭着眼睛) (车主迅速下台)（A突然站起来，睁开眼睛）A：A dream .too? Oh, my god, Why do I always can’t get the signature? No, I must get it, sleep again! Yes ,sleep! But ,why do I stand here? I should lie in the bed. Whether these, I must go to bed and get the signature!(趴着又睡)旁白：In her third dream(明星在签名，A前面有B, C)经纪人：One by one,Don’t be wrought-upA: Yeah,I can get it at last. Before me ,there are only two people.（到B）B:I love you very much. My dreamlover. 明星：Thank you(B下，C上)C: Oh，I meet you ,can I hug with you ? 明星：Sure.(两人抱了一下)（到A）A: I can get your signature in the end! I’m so excited(明星面目有点难受的样子，手捂着肚子)明星：Sorry, can I go to the toilet for a moment? My stomach is hurt a lot.(难受)A: Yes, make yourselfe at home.(过来一会儿)A: Handsome_______ has gone to toilet for such a long time. Is he ok?经纪人对A说：Sorry, the girl, Handsome_____ perhaps can’tcome here to give you signature, He is too hurt. He went home.A: Ah? Why always me ? (伤心地离开，走到睡着的地方)（突然起身）A :Why always me ? I only want a signature~~ ai~~ What time is it now ? (看了一下钟，表情惊讶) It’s near 8 o’clock .I can’t arrive at the schoolon time! Oh no ,hurry up hurry up!您正浏览的文章英语小品剧本《追星》由天空剧本网()整理,原文地址为：/enjb/2010/0912/1668.html8人英语小品《喜羊羊与灰太狼——一把“枪”》道具：两把玩具枪。
英语小品简短4人
英语小品简短4人1.四人英语小品带翻译简单明了龟兔赛跑（Hareandtortoise）Bird:Friends,friends,comehereandhavealook.（伙伴们，伙伴们，快来看啊！）Thehareandthetortoisewillhaveamatchagain.（小兔和乌龟又要比赛了。
）Monkey:Thehareandthetortoisewillhaveamatch？（小兔和乌龟又要比赛了？）Didn'tthehareloselastyear?Whydothatagain？（小兔不是输了吗？怎么还要比呀？）Bird:Yes,theharelostthematchlastyear,andhermotherwastooangr ytoeatanythingintwodays.（是的，小兔去年输了，兔妈妈气得两天没吃任何东西。
）Motherhareorderthemtohaveamatchagainthisyear.（兔妈妈命令他们今年再比一次。
）Monkey:Oh,soitis.（原来是这样。
）Together:(Music)。
!Monkey:Everybody,thematchbegins.（各就各位，比赛开始了。
）I'mthereferee.（我是裁判）Hareandtortoise,ready？（小兔乌龟，准备好了吗？）Motherhare:Honey!Honey!Comeon！（亲爱的！亲爱的！快过来！）Havesomecoffee.（喝些咖啡。
）Hare:Mom,oh,Ican'tdrinkitall.（妈妈，哦，我喝不下了。
）Motherhare:Itcanhelpyoukeepalertontheway.（它可以让你精精神神的。
）Mylittledear!Drinkitquickly！（亲爱的！快点喝了它！）Monkey:Motherhare,thematchisgoingtobegin.（兔妈妈，比赛要开始了。
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English Learning
第一部分
报幕员台词：
W: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Both: 大家晚上好。
W: With the opening up of China and the development of its tourism industry, English, as an international language, is becoming more and more important.
M: 随着中国的对外开放，旅游业的迅速发展，英语，作为国际语言，在我们的身边变得越来越重要。
W: The Government of the Baoji City calls on the whole city to learn English.
M: 宝鸡市委、市政府号召全市人民兴起了学习英语的新高潮。
W: Now, you can see everyone, men and women, young and old, learning English everywhere. M: 如今，在宝鸡，您随处可见男男女女、老老少少都在学英语。
我们金口才外国语学校里的学生都特别的爱学英语，这不，在我们的课余时间里两位同学就对英语学习进行了一番讨论。
Ok. Let's enjoy the performance, “English learning”.请欣赏我们的小品《学英语》。
第二部分
剧本台词：
（时间：星期一早晨地点：校园里）
Li Le: （出场）My name is Le le, I am a student of our training School. But I just came here yesterday, I know nothing about English.
SUN: My name is Le le。
LI: （乐乐上。
练读旅游英语300句）How do you do(好赌有赌) ? How do you do(好赌有赌)? Nice to meet you（奶死吐米油）. Me，too. I can't speak Chinese（爱砍他死屁踩你死）. Can（砍）you（油）speak English(英国历史)? Yes, a little（啊里头）. What can I do for you （我砍爱读佛油）? 这不，中国的发展这么快，人人都在学英语，我也要更加努力学好English….. 芳芳，芳芳！
SUN: 你好，乐乐。
LI: 你好，你再听我读一遍，看看还有什么地方读得不好。
（读旅游英语300句）How do you do (好赌有赌)? How do you do（好赌有赌）? Nice to meet you（奶死吐米油）. Me，too. I can't speak Chinese.（爱砍他死屁踩你死）. Can you speak English(砍油死屁英国历史)? Yes（爷死）, a little（啊里头）.What can I do for you（我砍爱读佛油）? （他边读边摇头晃脑，很自豪的样子）
Fang: 奶奶，什么“好赌有赌”，是“How do you do? ”。
不是“英国历史”，是"English"。
是" Chinese"，不是“踩你死”。
跟我读。
How do you do?(奶奶跟读)不行，How do you do?（奶
奶跟读）好，再读一遍，（奶奶读）好,很好.I can't speak Chinese. Can you speak English?（奶奶跟读）再来，I can't speak Chinese.(奶奶跟读) 好的，再来。
（奶奶读）Can you speak English?(奶奶跟读) 好，再练一下。
A:Do,do,do,how do you do? See, see, see, nice to see you. ABCDEFG, I must 攻克you。
Yeah. B:Hey, hey,hey.挺认真的呢！在干什么？英国老鼠,很时代感呀！
A：哎，不学也不行了。
往事不可提呀，太伤我们中华民族的自尊了。
B：这么惨，说来听听。
A：哎，有一次我在广州和daddy, mummy去广州乘bus.
B：guangzhou bus, wow，many people.
A：对了，人都快被挤成相片了。
那bus go,stop,go, stop，我是东摇西晃前赴后继,啊，一不小心——
B：撞死了。
A：你咋就不能说一句好话啊！撞死了谁做你的搭档啊！踩到后面人的脚了。
我回头一看，原来是一个身材魁梧，黄头发，蓝眼睛，白皮肤——
B：你说老外得了呗！
A：我一看是老外，咱可不能丢我们中华少年儿童的良好传统，于是我露出一个真诚的、迷人的微笑，说：I’m sorry!
B:Oh,I’m sorry ,too!
A:我这心一想：啊，人家老外sorry two, Oh, I’m sorry three.
B:What are you sorry for?
A:哎呀！这老外是寸步不让啊，他都Sorry four了，不行，我好歹也是学了五六年的英语了，我连忙说Oh,Oh,Oh,I’m sorry five !
B:Sorry five? HA! HA! HA!
A:这老外还敢取笑我，气刹吾也！I’ll give you some colour to see see!
B：（模仿老外口音）什么？你要给我一点颜色看看！
A：我一听，太伤自尊心了，于是一横心就打算把这破英语搞好。
听说您最近英语学得很有心得，是不是真的呢？
B：不敢，不敢，只不过是学得了一点儿皮毛，说不上一级棒！
A：那这样子好了，让我来考考您！
B：沒问题，尽管考～（一副很有自信的样子）
A：注意听了：I am the apple of my parent's eye."是什么意思？
B：apple,那还不容易吗？我们学校一年级的小朋友都会了，还考我：苹果啦。
eye:就是眼睛。
苹果眼睛，苹果怎么在眼睛呢？错了，肯定是句错句。
那些老外的眼睛那么大的吗？往你父母的眼睛放苹果？
A：Ｎo -No-No-------
B：Oh, please.（哀求狀）到底是什么了？
A:嘿嘿，不懂了吧。
你想想，我的爸爸妈妈最疼哪个呀？
B：当然是你啦。
A：对了，在他们的眼里，我是什么了？
B：小宝贝，小皇帝。
A：汝子可教，汝子可教呀。
那么: I am the apple of my parents' eye.就是说：
A/B：我是我父母的小宝贝，我父母的掌上明珠。
B：英国老鼠的知识实在太有趣了，我一定要好好地学习。
A：对。
让我们天天read，天天listen,天天进步！yeah.。