英语幽默小故事6篇

1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用

The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.

When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,

“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund

you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.

“It’s not worth seeing.”

“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.

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“Wake the child up and let him cry.”

一對夫婦帶著他們3歲的兒子去看電影。進電影院時，服務員對他們說：“如果你們的兒子哭了，你們就得出去。不過我們會給你們退票的。”大約半個小時以后，丈夫對妻子說：“你覺得這電影怎么樣？”“我從沒看過這么沒勁的電影。”妻子回答說，“真不值得看。”“我也不喜歡看。”丈夫說：“叫醒孩子，讓他哭。”

2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻

A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home.

"What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"

the husband asked. The woman replied,

"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and

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burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same."

"Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"

the wife responded.

有一個剛結婚的太太，坐在椅子那邊，看起來很懊惱，她先生回家看到她這個樣子，就問：‘嗨，你怎么啦？為什么看起來這么懊惱呢？’太太說：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西裝褲被我燙壞了，燙成一個洞了。’他先生說：‘啊！那個沒關系啦！我還有另外一件一樣的褲子。’

她說：‘是啊，還好我把那件新的拿出來補那件被我燙壞的。’3、Endearing terms

英語幽默故事:可愛的稱呼

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Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago." Bernie應邀來到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie發現，不管問他老婆什么問題，Morris總要在每句話的前面加上一些親密的稱呼，象蜜糖，我的愛人，親愛的，甜心等等。Bernie對Morris說，“你們夫妻倆真夠親密的，結婚這么多年了，你還叫她叫得那么親密。”Morris低下頭，小聲地對Bernie說，“老實跟你說吧，三年前我忘記老婆的真名是什么了。”

4、Are you a normal person？你是正常人嗎？

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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup." "Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

參觀一所精神病院的時候一個參觀者問院長，“你們是用什么標準來決定一個人是否應該被關進精神病院呢？”“呃……”院長說，“是這樣，我們先給一個浴缸放滿水，然后我們給病人一個調茶匙，一個茶杯和一個水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。”“噢，我明白了”，參觀者說。“一個正常人會選擇水桶，因為水桶比茶匙，茶杯的體積大。”“錯了”，“院長回答”“正常人會把浴缸塞子拔掉”。

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