天下无贼

A World Without Thieves天下无贼《打劫片段》

点击打劫片段视频

角色：

（王丽）刘若英，（王薄）刘德华，黎叔手下，黎叔（葛优），范伟，范伟同伙，女警察。可以请几个观众作为乘客，配合打劫对象。

角色要求：刘若英---外表美丽。刘德华---无。黎叔----语调沉重缓慢。范伟----结巴。

范伟同伙----娘娘腔。女警察----无。各尽自己的动作表情，越夸张越好！

道具：椅子，一包纸钱，一把手枪，两把斧头。两个面具。。（具体道具情节客模仿天下无贼）

表演时间：大概10~15分钟

列车广播(背景广播)：visitors comrades Please note！旅客同志们请注意了！

Just received a warning of the passenger, that his package of hard-earned money are robbed.刚刚接到一位乘客报警，他本人一包血汗钱被盗。

so we remind everbody again所以我们再次提醒大家，

must Protects your Belongings and Baggages from the Thieves 一定要照看好自己的财物箱包，严防小偷扒手。

If you discovered any suspicious personnel, please immediately report to the train police.如果您发现有任何可疑人员，请马上向列车员报警。

刘若英：what happened? 怎么了?

刘德华：we`re lost , the money is stolen by them. 我们输了，钱被他们偷走了。

刘若英：Really? 真的？

刘德华：they are too cunning ,is simply impossible to guard against. 他们太奸猾了，简直防不胜防。刘若英：that must be an old men playing the washboard. 一定是那个老头打的搓！

黎叔手下：they switched the bag .钱给掉包了。

It`s all fake money. 全部是假的。

黎叔：Really? The boy dares to play this trick with me. 真的吗？臭小子竟敢和我玩这招。

黎叔手下：How to do with them? 我们怎么办？

黎叔：you sit here! 你先坐着！

黎叔走向刘两。。。

黎叔：good。行啊!

Switched prince for a pauper. 跟我玩狸猫换太子。

I challenged you only because I respect you .黎叔看得起你才跟你过招。

but you didn`t play fair . 偷奸耍滑呀你是。

stop acting,It must have been you . 想什么呢，肯定是你

I can reliably inform you that 我可以很负责任的告诉你

uncle lee is very angry 黎叔很生气

the consequences will be severe 后果很严重。

黎叔离开，，

刘若英打开自纸包，，

刘若英：It was swichted. 钱被掉包了

You think his guys did it? 会不会是他手下干的

刘德华：Could have been switched long ago 也许早就被人家换了

There must be another master .We've been played 一定还有高人，我们被耍了

范伟的同伙：shuuu ！this is a robbery. 嘘！！！打劫（对这黎叔）

乘客（观众,旁白）：it's a robbery! 打劫

范伟：rr-rr-rr…打打打

rr-robb… 打打……

范伟的同伙：robbery 劫

范伟：right! it's a robbery! 对，打劫

黎叔（葛优）：can't stand you armed robber types. 最烦你们这下打劫的

no technical skills whatsoever. 一点技术含量都没有

范伟给黎叔腹部打了一拳，黎叔手下欲动被黎叔示意停止。

范伟同伙：oh uuu ！！哦吆吆…..！

Dare to fight back！还敢还手！是吧！

sit frankly给我老实点！坐好喽！

Take out your money！把钱拿出来！

范伟同伙：everyone sit down. sit down. 都坐下坐好了

it's a robbery.（don't you know?这句剧中译文没有我加的）打劫知道吗？范伟：all your cards.各种卡啊

hurry it up! 快主动啊

why not gave me? 让你不给我

what's this for? 你这是什么东西？）

范伟：big brother 大哥

Just wait a moment! 稍等一会

I want to steal some beauty. 我要劫个色

IC cards ,IP cards , IQ cards, i want the passwords to all of them. IC IP IQ 卡，统统告诉我密码范伟同伙：hand it over by yourself.自己主动点！

刘德华：excuse me, Mr.robber. there's no IQ card. 报告打劫的没有IQ卡

范伟：why not? 怎么没有

刘德华：i have an iq.but you don't.我有iq.你没有

范伟：w-w-well, if you gave me yours,then i'd have one.把你得给我我不就有了吗！

刘德华：you c-c-can't use it! 给你你你你也用不了

范伟：if you gave me the password, i could use it.

刘德华：there is no password. 没有密码iq is "intelligence quotient". iq是智商

范伟：what's that? hand it over. 智商是什么东西拿来

刘德华：it means brains. 智商是脑子

范伟同伙：you're thick! he's saying you have no brains. 哎呀真笨他说你没脑子

范伟：you're the one without brains. 你他妈才没脑子呢

范伟同伙：i didn't say you had no brains. he did! 不是我说你没脑子是他说你没脑子

范伟：you said i have no brains! 你咒我没脑子你

刘德华：i didn't say you had no brains. 我没有说你没脑子

i said you lacked a mind. 我说你缺心眼

范伟：what if i take your head off! 我让你缺脑袋你信不信

what's that in your hand? 手手里什么东西？