(完整版)学生作文ShouldCollegeGraduatesStartTheirOwnBusiness

For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay on the topic: " Should College Graduates Start Their Own Business? " You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.1.目前大学毕业生就业竞争非常激烈2.有人认为去找工作不如自己创业3.我的看法……从批改网中选取的学生高分作文，希望同学们比较，鉴别，学习。

Should College Graduates Start Their Own Business?Nowadays, it is a plain truth that a multitude of college students are confronted with employment pressure. Accordingly, there is no doubt that the phenomenon has already became a social issue which arouses public concern.Admittedly, someone holds the idea that starting their own business is advantageous to finding jobs. On the one hand, it is acknowledged that success will be achieved if you try every means to stay on top. Quite obviously, there is no denying that you will receive successful fruits when you do everything with persistence. On the other hand, it is no exaggeration to say you should withstand all kinds of challenges and difficulties.In my prospect, there is no doubt that practical experience is inevitable to work for college graduates. Furthermore, the fact that college graduates should work for several years instead of starting business immediately, which is advantageous to cultivate toughness and upgrade ourselves. In addition, it can not be denied that working for several years will make us be more adaptable to the society and enrich your social experience. To summarize, taking into account all these factors, finding jobs is superior to start business for college graduates.（计算机, 田文雨194 words ， 92.5分）批改网评语：有效地采用了多种衔接方法，层次清晰；作者句法基础不错，可适当增加复杂句的使用；作者词汇表达较多样灵活，也能较准确地使用学术词汇Should College Graduates Start Their Own Business?College students are always a group of activity and passion. In recent years, there is a growing tendency for college graduates to start their own business. Substitute for following the old circle of hunting for jobs, working for others, and waiting for promotions, a bulk of graduates have created a new fashion of starting their own business and being their own bosses.College students who start businesses are pioneers, among whom will be born China's future business leaders. Faced with unknown challenges, they are audacious enough to embark on a perilous journey while most of their peers enjoy stable salaries by working as white-collars at high-end office buildings. Nevertheless, they are the masters of their own destiny and, exposed to many more uncertainties and setbacks, they develop perseverance, stamina and the indomitable spirit that are indispensable to all the great entrepreneurs. Even if they fail, they are not down; they keep exploring for new business opportunities and work tirelessly until they succeed. As people of vision, of individual initiative, of leadership, and of creativity and innovation, they represent the future and the hope of a nation.Not all college graduates are suitable for undertaking entrepreneurial projects. To launcha business, one needs to have a sound business idea, a viable business plan, the charisma to create a cohesive team where members make concerted efforts for a common objective, effective managerial skills, and above all, the courage to compete against powerful rivals and ultimately to prevail. The essential difference between the students who become civic servants in government organizations or employees at leading domestic or multinational companies and those who create their own businesses is that the former are docile followers whereas the latter are aggressive trailblazers. For this reason, business-launching college graduates are more admirable, and thus they command our deep respect (302 words )（政治，王玉立, 90.5分）批改网评语：采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；熟练使用了一些长难句；作者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒Should College Graduates Start Their Own Business?With the competition in the job market becoming increasingly fierce for college graduates, some ambitious students have tried their hands at launching their own businesses. Over the years, there have been many successful cases of student entrepreneurship and such attempts should be encouraged and promoted by both the universities and the society at large.College students who start businesses are pioneers, among whom will be born China's future business leaders. Faced with unknown challenges, they are audacious enough to embark on a perilous journey while most of their peers enjoy stable salaries by working as white-collars at high-end office buildings. Nevertheless, they are the masters of their own destiny and, exposed to many more uncertainties and setbacks, they develop perseverance, stamina and the indomitable spirit that are indispensable to all the great entrepreneurs. Even if they fail, they are not down; they keep exploring for new business opportunities and work tirelessly until they succeed. As people of vision, of individual initiative, of leadership, and of creativity and innovation, they represent the future and the hope of a nation.Confronted with dominate. Obstacles Barriers Not all college graduates are suitable for undertaking entrepreneurial projects. One needs to have a sound business idea, a viable business plan, the charisma to create a cohesive team where members make concerted/ sustained efforts for a common objective, effective managerial skills, and above all, the courage to compete against powerful rivals and ultimately to prevail. The essential difference between the students who become civic servants in government organizations or employees at leading domestic or multinational companies and those who create their own businesses isthat the formerWith the competition in the job market becoming increasingly fierce for college graduates, some ambitious students have tried their hands at launching their own businesses.Over the years, there have been many successful cases of student entrepreneurship and such attempts should be encouraged and promoted by both the universities and the society at large. (324 words)（电气, 王科，92.5分）批改网评语：作者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒；作者句法知识掌握的错误，可适当增加从句的使用；全文结构较为严谨Should College Graduates Start Their Own Business？With the competition in the job market becoming increasingly fierce for college graduates, some ambitious students have tried their hands at launching their own businesses. Over the years, there have been many successful cases of student entrepreneurship and such attempts should be encouraged and promoted by both the universities and the society at large.College students who start businesses are pioneers, among whom will be born China's future business leaders. Faced with unknown challenges, they are audacious enough to embark on a perilous journey while most of their peers enjoy stable salaries by working as white-collars at high-end office buildings. Nevertheless, they are the masters of their own destiny and, exposed to many more uncertainties and setbacks, they develop perseverance, stamina and the indomitable spirit that are indispensable to all the great entrepreneurs. Even if they fail, they are not down; they keep exploring for new business opportunities and work tirelessly until they succeed. As people of vision, of individual initiative, of leadership, and of creativity and innovation, they represent the future and the hope of a nation.Not all college graduates are suitable for undertaking entrepreneurial projects. To launch a business, one needs to have a sound business idea, a viable business plan, the charisma to create a cohesive team where members make concerted efforts for a common objective, effective managerial skills, and above all, the courage to compete against powerful rivals and ultimately to prevail. The essential difference between the students who become civic servants in government organizations or employees at leading domestic or multinational companies and those who create their own businesses is that the former are docile followers whereas the latter are aggressive trailblazers. For this reason, business-launching college graduates are more admirable, and thus they command our deep respect. (294 words )（政治王院喜， 91.5分）批改网评语：作者词汇基本功很好，学术词汇表达也比较恰当；作者句法知识掌握的错误，可适当增加从句的使用；文章结构严谨，有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分。