笑得停不下来的英文笑话

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笑到停不下来的英语笑话

笑到停不下来的英语笑话笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇一推理A fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson inlogic.”Here is the situation,"she said.”A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river，fishing. He loses his balance，falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"小学四年级的教师在给学生们讲逻辑学。

“有这样一种情况。

”她说:“一个男人站在河中心的一条船上钓鱼。

他突然失去重心，掉进了水里。

于是，他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。

他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向bank。

请你们告诉我这是为什么?”A girl raised her hand and asked，"To draw out all of his savings?"一个女学生举起手答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?”笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇二公民权力On the first day of an American history class at Purdue University，the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights. The ne某t day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response，the professor said,"ALL RIGHT. Name five. "Still the student said nothing. Finally, the e某asperated professor begged，"Just name one right you have as a civilian."在印地安那州的西拉法耶市波督大学，我上的第一节美国历史课的那天，教授讲了五章关于公民权利的课程。

笑破肚皮的英语笑话

笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。

”
3
“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。

学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读

英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。

下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。

In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。

”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。

笑到肚子疼的英语笑话

笑到肚子疼的英语笑话笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。

下面是店铺带来的笑到肚子疼的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!笑到肚子疼的英语笑话篇一Seeking His Fortune 闯世界A bright boy left his family, going to new York to seek his fortune. None of his family seemed to doubt that he would gain success and wealth.Several months passed without a word from him. One cold winter afternoon his father received a note from him at last. It was scribbled1(潦草地书写) in pencil on a small piece of oldwrapping2 paper.He wrote: "Pa, now I'm under the old bridge. Meet me tomorrow night and bring with you a blanket or a suit of clothes."一个生机勃勃的少年离开家人，到纽约去闯世界。

他的家人好像都很相信他会成功，获得财富。

几个月过去了，他却杳无音讯。

一个严冬的下午他的父亲终于收到了他写的一个便条，是用铅笔潦草地写在一小片旧的包装纸上的。

他写的是：“爸爸，我现在就在那座旧桥下面，明天晚上来接我吧。

要带一条毛毯或一套衣服来。

”笑到肚子疼的英语笑话篇二A stingy traveler 节俭的旅行家Once a traveler wanted to visit Springfield by train. He went up to a ticket window and said to theconductor1, "I want a ticket for Springfield.""Which Springfield?" asked the conductor, "Springfield, Massachusetts; Springfield, Ohio; Springfield, Missouri; or Springfield, Illinois?" "Well, which is the cheapest?" asked thetraveler.有个旅行家想乘火车去游览斯普林菲尔德。

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇）在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。

下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。

英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人

爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。

小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。

The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。

She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。

”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。

”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

英语搞笑笑话6篇

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

让人笑不停的英语笑话大全

让人笑不停的英语笑话大全John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again."John!" Teacher says angrily."What? What's wrong?" John is awaken1."Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says."No one is laughing." Teacher says."No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset."Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.约翰并不是个“好”学生。

他总是在上课的时候睡觉。

今天他又睡着了。

“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。

“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。

“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。

“没有人在笑呀。

”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。

我没有做鬼脸。

刚才我睡着了。

”约翰感到不安。

“嗯，还不错。

你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。

Tony and his father are eating dinner.Suddenly Tony asks his father, "Dad, are flies yummy?"Dad frowns and says, "No, I think it's yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It's a silly question."But Tony says, "There was one fly in your plate."托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话

笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。

下面是店铺带来的笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话，欢迎阅读! 笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话篇一Tightwad 吝啬鬼Joe Schmidt, although very wealthy, was a tightwad.One day he and his wife wanted to take a spin in an airplane over the city of New York.The pilot said it would be 10 dollars a piece for a thirty-minute flight. "How about 10 dollars for both of us?" the stingy millionaire asked, "No way!" replied the pilot firmly. Schmidt pleaded earnestly with the pilot for quite a while. Since it was a slow day and there were not many customers, the pilot finally agreed. "Ok, I will take you and your wife for ten bucks1 on one condition: while in the air, you cannot make any noise. If I hear a peep out of you, that will cost you 20 dollars." Schmidt agreed reluctantly.The plane took off without a hitch2. Purposely, the pilot made somersaults(筋斗) and all kinds of tricks, just to scare the guy, when the plane finally landed, the pilot askedcredulously3: "I have got to hand it to you. I didn't know how you managed to be so quiet. " "It's wasn't easy," confessed the tightwad. "I almost hollered(叫喊，抱怨) when my wife fell out."乔·施密特虽然非常富有，却是个不折不扣的吝啬鬼。

笑得停不下来的英语笑话10则

笑得停不下来的英语笑话10那么导语：一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。

下面，给大家收集了笑得停不下来的10那么，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

1、 "Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.One remarked to the other, ""Windy, ain‘t it?""""No,"" the second ma n replied, ""It‘s Thursday.""And the third man chimed in, ""So am I. Let‘s have a coke."""2、 "For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn‘t help but ment, ""The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.""......"3、 "Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ""Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.""......"4、 You Know You Live In San Francisco When ...Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don‘t think of steak. You think of danger.You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.......5、 "Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumpedinto the river in paris?A: He was declared to be in Seine.6、Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. ""God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France."" ""Fred,"" said his father, ""why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?"" ""Because that‘s what I wrote in my geography test!""......"7、 Q: Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China?A: You never leave home.8、 "OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribblingOLD BEEKEEpERS never die, they just buzz offOLD BIKERS never die, but they‘re hard on tiresOLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment awayOLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye awayOLD BOOKKEEpERS never die, they just lose their figures ......"9、 "OLD CANNERS never die, they are preservedOLD CARS never die, they just get run into the groundOLD CASHIERS never die, they just check outOLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their driveOLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganicallyOLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react......"10、 "OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expireOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled overOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six OLD DANCERS never die, they just step awayOLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouragedOLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties......"。

笑死人英文小笑话大全

笑死人英文小笑话大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。

店铺整理了笑死人的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!笑死人的英文小笑话篇一My 15一year一old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. "Don' t you feel well，Mom?” he asked with concern. "No, I don't,” I said.我十五岁的儿子连跑带颠地跑回家里发现我躺在床上。

“妈妈，您觉得不舒服吗?”他关心地问。

“是的，我有点不舒服:”我说。

"Well, don't you worry about dinner," he reassured me "I'll carry you down to the stoves”“那么，您别担心晚饭了:”他安慰我说:“我可以把你背到楼下的炉灶前去。

”笑死人的英文小笑话篇二Teacher: Johnny .why are you late for school every morning?老师:约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?Johnny; Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says，’School一Go Slow.’约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校—缓行”。

笑死人的英文小笑话篇三Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?老师:马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.马修:先生，那里的天气很冷。

Teacher: Wrong.老师:错了。

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrivesfrozen!马修:可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

简短搞笑的英文笑话大全

简短搞笑的英文笑话大全笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。

店铺整理了简短搞笑的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!简短搞笑的英文笑话：A Norwegian took a trip to FargoA Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner."Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?""Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?""It was ME," chortled the Indian.So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies."Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?""Fair enough," said Sven."Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?""Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"简短搞笑的英文笑话：Extremely Sad With LifeThere was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and make fun of me."He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a hillbilly?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a hillbilly or not?"This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"简短搞笑的英文笑话：HavaiiTwo people are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced"Havaii" or "Hawaii". So they stood there arguing and arguing, until theydecided to ask a person that was walking by. They asked the gentelman: "Excuse me sir, is Hawaii pronounced "Havaii" or "Hawaii"?The gentelman said, "Havaii".So they both looked at each other, and as the gentelman was leaving, one of the two said to him, "Thank you".The gentelman replied and said: "You're velcome"!简短搞笑的英文笑话：Old Aunt EmmaA couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old lady died.On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."His wife looked at him aghast. "*My* Aunt Emma! she cried.I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!"简短搞笑的英文笑话：Populate EarthOne day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth."Adam, you can start by kissing Eve.""Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?""Adam, I now want you to caress Eve.""Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?""Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve.""Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush.A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

笑翻天英语笑话大全

精选笑翻天英语笑话大全
看一些，既能学到英语知识，也能开心，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看精选笑翻天英语笑话大全吧!
I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"
我刚咬了自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。

“是的，亲爱的，”她答复说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!
小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。

”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙!”
这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。

好笑英语笑话笑翻天

好笑英语笑话笑翻天好笑英语笑话笑翻天⽣活需要笑话，笑⼀笑，⼗年少，笑话能愉悦我们的⼼情，今天我们就⼀起来看看好笑英语笑话笑翻天吧! 好笑英语笑话笑翻天(⼀) Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday. 亨利是个美国⼈，他到伦敦来度假。

One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,"I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?" 有⼀天他感到⾝体不舒服，于是⾛到旅馆服务台对服务员说:“我想看病，你能给我推荐⼀位好医⽣吗?” The clerk looked in a book and then said , "Dr. Kenneth Grey , 61010." 服务员查阅了⼀下本⼦，然后说:“肯尼思·格雷医⽣，61010。

" Henry said，"Thank yon very much. Is he expensive?" 亨利说:“⾮常感谢，他收费贵吗?” "Well, "the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits." “喔，”服务员回答说:“他对初诊患者收费两英镑，复诊收费⼀点五英镑。

” Henry decided to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said，"I've come again,doctor." 亨利想节省五⼗便⼠，所以他去看病时对医⽣说:“我⼜来了，医⽣。

英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译

英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。

英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。

它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。

”店主向他保证。

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。

”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。

爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全

爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。

“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。

”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。

”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。

到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。

”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。

每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。

第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。

The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes，do you need a partner ?"“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。