Simon考官范文-雅思写作Task 2：Crime话题范文(一边倒的写法)

题目：
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
有些人进了号子之后放出来就变乖了，一些人觉得他们这伙人是最适合去给懵懂少年现身说法的。

多大程度上同意还是不同意？
考官范文：
1.开头段：完全同意题目的观点
It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.
讲真有犯罪前科的前科的人是可以变成有益于社会的。

我完全同意让他们去给懵懂少年现身说法的主意，这是一种警示他们不要触犯法律的好办法。

2.主体段：(第一个理由)：犯人可以告诉青少年他们真实的犯罪经历。

年轻人会相信并被这些真实的故事所震慑，然后举例子
In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young people about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can also dispel any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamorous lives. While adolescents are often indifferent to the guidance given by older people, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.
在我看来，骚年们更喜欢接受有实践经历的人来讲道理。

劳改犯可以告诉年轻人他们是如何参与到犯罪中去的，如何体验危险的犯罪生活，和号子里面的真实情况。

他们也可以打消一些年轻人觉得犯罪可以走向人生巅峰的无知念头。

一些年轻人对老人言其实还蛮冷漠的。

我可以想象他们大部分还是超级想听有犯罪前科人所讲的故事。

生动和可能恐怖的故事会更有说服力。

3.主体段：（第二个理由）：让老师或警察来教育年轻人，不过这几个效果不一定很好
The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate teenagers about crime would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young people. This could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young people are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers to speak to
their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about this topic. Finally, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young people to interact and ask questions.
另外一种让劳改犯教育骚年的办法可能就没那么用了。

一个选择是让警察去学校开讲座教导骚年们。

这个对于让少年们知道关于触犯法律被逮着之后会发生什么还是有点用的，不过年轻人对于权威的数据还是有那么点叛逆的。

第二个选择是学校老师告诉孩子们犯罪是什么，不过我并不觉得孩子们会把老师讲的当做犯罪话题的重点信息来源。

最终，教育类电影可能有丢丢用，不过这种让孩子没有了互动和提问的机会。

4.总结段：总结观点
In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes.
总之，我完全支持回归社会的劳改犯们帮助减少青少年们犯罪。

(287 words, band 9)
必记改写：
1.I completely agree with the idea that=I fully support the view that
2.become normal, productive members of society=turned their lives around
3.ex-prisoners=after serving a prison sentence
4.discourage them=deter teenagers
5.breaking the law=committing crimes。