英语短文笑话全集
短的英语笑话故事大全(13篇)
短的英语笑话故事大全（13篇）短的英语笑话故事篇6 短的英语笑话故事篇7 短的英语笑话故事篇11I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house.I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!短的英语笑话故事篇12good news and bad newstheres good news and bad news, the divorce lawyer told his client.i could sure use some good news, sighed the client. whats it?your wife isnt demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.and the bad news?after the divorce, shes marrying your father.短的英语笑话故事篇13After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan fromNebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Midwests dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.What a boring drive，my father replied.Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees.。
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
英语笑话短文12篇
英语笑话短文12篇下面是店铺整理的英语笑话短文，希望大家会喜欢!英语笑话短文：老师哭了The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱，宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"六岁的约翰娇生惯养。
他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。
这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。
他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。
他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。
”英语笑话短文：Goodbye, MoneyOn a trip to Disney Worldin Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."迪斯尼之旅弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
笑话英语作文(通用5篇)
笑话英语作文（通用5篇）笑话英语作文 1there was a cave full of lots of vampire bats. once, a bat called andy came home late and there was of blood all over his body. all of his friends and family asked him where the blood came from, and asked him to take place. he didnt want to tell them at first, but after a while, he said follow me, folks. then they flew over a valley, crossed a river, and stopped in front of a stone. andy asked do you guys see that tree? and his friends all answered yes and then andy said i didnt.笑话英语作文 2The famous Dr. Smith，dean of Medical College，was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to Hi s Majesty the King.”When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon，he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”笑话英语作文 3Once, there was a tourist who visited a small town for the first time. He walked around, admiring the beautiful scenery and unique architecture. As he walked, he saw a sign that said, "Free Cake!" Excited, he followed the sign and found himself at a local bakery. The baker, a kind old man, greeted him with a smile and offered him a delicious cake. The tourist, delighted, thanked the baker and took a bite of the cake. It was so good that he couldnt help but ask, "Why is this cake free?"The baker chuckled and replied, "Well, its not really free. Youhave to pay for it with a story."The tourist was confused. "A story? What kind of story?"The baker explained, "Every time someone takes a cake from me, they have to tell me a story about their life. Its my way of connecting with people and hearing their tales."The tourist thought for a moment and then began to tell the baker about his travels and adventures. He talked about the beautiful places he had seen and the interesting people he had met. The baker listened intently, occasionally nodding and smiling.When the tourist finished his story, the baker clapped his hands and said, "That was a wonderful story! You have earned your cake." The tourist smiled and thanked the baker again. As he walked out of the bakery, he realized that the best part of his trip wasnt the scenery or the architecture, but the connections he had made with the people he met.And so, he continued his journey, always looking for new adventures and new stories to share.笑话英语作文 4In a small town, there was a community garden where residents could grow their own vegetables. One sunny afternoon, an elderly gentleman named Mr. Smith decided to water his plants. He grabbed the hose and started watering his tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers.As he was watering, he noticed a young boy running towards the garden with a bucket of water. The boy looked excited and eager to help. Mr. Smith smiled and waved at the boy, thinking it was nice to see young people interested in gardening.The boy came up to Mr. Smith and said, "Hello, sir! Im here to water the plants!"Mr. Smith replied, "Thats great, young man! Go ahead and water the plants over there."The boy nodded and started watering the plants next to Mr. Smith. However, he seemed to be having a bit of trouble with the bucket. It kept spilling water everywhere, and he kept stumbling over it.Mr. Smith watched with a chuckle and decided to offer some advice. "Maybe you should try holding the bucket more steady, young man."The boy looked up at Mr. Smith with a confused expression and said, "But Im not holding the bucket, sir. Its following me!"Mr. Smith looked down and realized that the boy was actually wearing the bucket as a helmet! He had holes drilled in it for his ears and a strap around his chin to keep it in place.Mr. Smith burst out laughing and patted the boy on the back. "Well, thats certainly a unique way to water the plants! You must be the most creative gardener in the community!"The boy smiled proudly and continued watering the plants, bucket helmet and all.笑话英语作文 5In a quiet suburban neighborhood, there was a park where residents often gathered to relax and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. One day, a young girl named Emily noticed a squirrel running around the park, gathering nuts and acorns. She decided to follow the squirrel to see where it was going.Emily followed the squirrel through the park, across the street, and into a nearby yard. The squirrel seemed to be leading her somewhere, and she was curious to see where it would end up.As they entered the yard, Emily noticed a man in a weird-lookingsuit standing near a tree. He had a pair of binoculars around his neck and was holding a clipboard. Emily thought he looked like a scientist or a researcher.The squirrel ran up to the man and stopped, as if it was waiting for something. The man looked down at the squirrel, smiled, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a nut. He handed it to the squirrel, and it quickly ran off with it.Emily was confused. She walked up to the man and asked, "Excuse me, sir, but why are you giving nuts to that squirrel?"The man turned and looked at Emily with a surprised expression. "Oh, hello there! Im actually a squirrel behavior researcher. Im studying how squirrels interact with humans and their environment." Emily was intrigued. "Really? Can I help?"The man smiled and nodded. "Sure! Why dont you try handing a nut to the squirrel and see what it does?"Emily took a nut from her pocket and carefully approached the squirrel. She held out the nut, and the squirrel quickly came up to her and took it in its mouth. Then, it turned and ran back to the man.Emily was amazed. "That was so cool! It actually came to me!" The man chuckled and explained, "Squirrels are very intelligent animals. They can recognize faces and even remember who has given them food before. Thats why it came to you."Emily felt special and excited. She thanked the man for his help and decided to continue observing the squirrels behavior. As she walked away, she noticed that the squirrel was following her, as if it wanted to show her more of its world.Emily smiled and whispered to the squirrel, "I think were goingto be good friends."。
英语小笑话短文带翻译
英语小笑话短文带翻译冷笑话是近年来颇为流行的一种语言现象,主要以机智、幽默著称。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话短文带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话短文带翻译篇1Failure in a Test考试不及格Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?Kid: Because of absence.孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
英语小笑话短文带翻译篇2The Thinker《思想者》Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》。
"What do you suppose he's thinking about?"asked one.“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。
"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了，”另一个回答说。
英语小笑话短文带翻译篇3Where It Should Be Plugged插在何处A mother is very good at using every chance to educate hisson, who was only three years old.一位母亲十分擅长利用每一个机会教育孩子。
她的儿子中有3岁。
长篇英语笑话
长篇英语笑话长篇英语笑话（精选14篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
下面是小编精心为大家整理的长篇英语笑话，希望大家喜欢！长篇英语笑话篇1A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr．Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant．Dr．Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble．One day as Swift was busy with his writing， the boy rushed into his room，knocked some books out of their place，threw his parcelon the desk and said，“ my mistress has sent you two of herrab bits．” Swift turned round and said，“My boy， that is not the way to deliver your parcel．Now， you sit in my chair，watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson．” The boy sat down． Swift went out， knocked on his door and waited． The boy said“Come in．” The doctor entered，walked to his desk and said，“If you please sir，my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields．” The boy answe red，“Thank you， my boy， Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself．” The Doctor laughed， and after that， Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip．在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。
又幽默又短的英语笑话
又幽默又短的英语笑话对于笑话，可能只是文字游戏，但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用，知道英语笑话有哪些吗?下面是小编给大家带来的又幽默又短的英语笑话_有趣的笑话英语小短文，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!又幽默又短的英语笑话(一)一切都正常A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned." "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?" "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."又幽默又短的英语笑话(二)老谋深算There was a 75-year-old multi-millionaire who had just married a beautiful 18-year-old blond girl. So his friends asked him, "How did you manage to get an 18-year-old girl to marry you, when you're 75?"And the old man replied, "I told her I was 99, so she would marry me quick!"又幽默又短的英语笑话(三)吝啬鬼的聚会The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"又幽默又短的英语笑话(四)导盲犬帮我看A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."又幽默又短的英语笑话(五)林肯过生日Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.又幽默又短的英语笑话(六)三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。
关于英语笑话短文带翻译大全
关于英语笑话短文带翻译大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了关于英语笑话短文带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!关于英语笑话短文带翻译篇1I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."我教初中的唱诗班，偶尔会教到自己的孩子。
一天，我儿子问我是否能借给他一支铅笔。
作为一位老师，我一般不借东西给那些不做课堂准备的学生。
但作为一位母亲，我应随时帮助我的孩子。
于是，我问儿子他是在跟老师说话，还是在跟母亲说话。
而他却说:“那要看谁有铅笔了。
”关于英语笑话短文带翻译篇2My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。
您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
幽默的英语笑话短文
幽默的英语笑话短文幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。
下面是小编整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！幽默的英语笑话短文篇1The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant."You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。
”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。
”幽默的英语笑话短文篇2Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇篇一：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny"，then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second"， than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 。
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。
篇二：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇三：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇三when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
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英语短文笑话1,Two birlsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."新老师9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
"4. A physics ExaminationOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six and one half inches"."What? How come you are so sure of that distance?", asked the judge."Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.距事故的距离一个木匠为一个目击的事故做证词.法官问他与事故发生地方的距离有多远.这个木匠回答道:"27英尺6.5英寸远.""什么?你怎么对这个距离如此肯定?"这个法官问道."噢,我知道有些白痴会问我,所以我测量了一下."这个木匠回答道.称重An irritated woman burst into the baker's shop and said:"I sent my son in for 2 pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied:"Ma'am, I suggest youweigh your son."一个女人怒气冲冲的闯进面包店，说：“今早上我让我儿子买了2磅的饼干，但是当我称它们的时候却只有一磅了。
我觉得你的称有问题”。
面包师镇定的看了看女人，说：“女士，我觉得您该回去称一称您的儿子”Trouble you againA robust-lookinggentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the gutter like a common bum?""I'm very sorry sir." began the contrite headwaiter."Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."再次麻烦你地。
然后他叫来服务生领班，“你还记得吗？”他愉快的说道，“大概一年以前，我在这里像这样就餐，然后因为我付不起帐，你把我想乞丐一样扔进排水沟里”“非常抱歉先生”后悔的服务生领班说道。
“噢，那非常不错”这个客人道，“但是我恐怕还得再麻烦你一次。
”词汇：1、gutter n.排水沟，臭水沟；2、bum n. 二流子，乞丐；3、headwaiter n.领班丈夫和妻子Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. Husband: You tell a woman something. It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. 妻子：你给男人说点事，他左耳朵进，右耳朵出。
(转身就给忘了)丈夫：你给女人说点事，她两个耳朵都听进去了，可是从嘴里出来了。
你吹牛吧！The little John taught his parrot to speak "follow me to say that I can walk.""I can walk." said the parrot following."I can speak.""I can speak." The parrot simulated as almost the same as he did."I can fly.""You talk big." The parrot said without thinking for a while.You talk big小约翰教他的鹦鹉说话“跟我说，我会走路.""我会走路”鹦鹉跟着说。
“我会说话。
”“我会说话。
”鹦鹉模仿的和他说的几乎一模一样。
“我会飞。
”“你吹牛吧。
”鹦鹉不假思索地说。
相关词汇解析：1.parrot n.鹦鹉；2.simulate vt.模仿Five years experience and imaginationSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office."What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.""Well," the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with5年经验和丰富想像力只上了几周班的年轻人被叫到了人事主管的办公室。
“这是什么意思？”主管问到“你应聘这从份工作的时候，你告诉我们，你有五年的经验。
现在我们确发现，这是你的第一份工作。
”“是的”。
年轻人说，“你在应聘广告中说到，你想要的是一个有想像力的员工呀！”Proposal An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal."Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend."Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."求婚一位非常富有的男人在他65岁的爱上了一位20岁的年轻女孩，他打算向她求婚。