2015届初三上英语单元考试优秀作文选一

2015届初三上英语单元考试优秀作文选一

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题目：你对你现在居住的城市（乡村）满意吗？请从环境、人口等方面，说说你理想中的家园。（80词左右）

初三1班黄润萍

I live in a beautiful city, Quanzhou. My city has a long history and many places of interest. However, I am not pleased with it. The natural environments are becoming worse and worse because of the pollution in Quanzhou.

I dream about a home like this: first, it is close to nature and surrounded by trees. Second, it has a population of 500. People are friendly to each other like a big family. Last, people can be careful with garbage and discourage cutting trees to protect the environment.

I believe my dream will come true in the future. Do you want to live in my dream home?

教师点评：1、本篇文章条理清晰，巧用过渡句：“I dream about a home like this”。

2、主次分明，结构合理，紧扣题目要求，更多地描述自己理想中的家园。

初三2班杨浩

I live in Quanzhou, a small city in Fujian Province. Thanks to the excellent public transportation, it is very convenient for people to live in such a small city. So I am quite satisfied with the living conditions in my city.

But it is true that there are many problems in my city. So I dream that I can live in a quiet city. The environment should be much better. For instance, the trees and grass had better cover over 20% of the city. What’s more, the population there should never be too large or too small so that the traffic will not be heavy and I won’t feel lonely.

If there is a city like this, I will be quite happy to live there in the future.

教师点评：1、本篇文章行文流畅，很好地利用所学知识阐述自己的观点。

2、善于运用一些复合句，关联词语，使文章显得更加充实和丰满。

C三3班林滟雯

I live in a beautiful coast city called Quanzhou. It has already become good, ①but I expect more.

②In my opinion, a really great city should be like this. There is no pollution, just blue sky hugs the whole city with green grass everywhere. The population of the city isn’t too large or too small. The traffic isn’t busy, so there won’t be crazy situations in rush hours. Every person here is nice and friendly and they always smile with satisfaction.

That’s what I have in mind. It’s truly a great place to live.

教师点评：1、本文叙述流畅，衔接自然，巧用①句，委婉表达对所居住城市的态度，承上启下。

2、第二段开头使用②句，引出自己的心目中的理想家园。

3、能正确使用一些课外词汇（如：coast city海滨城市，expect期盼，hug拥抱，

rush hours高峰期，satisfaction.满意，have in mind 想到，考虑到），这些词

增强了文章的表现力，使之脱颖而出。小小一篇文章足以证明作者丰富的词

汇量。

C三4班许晓蕾

I live in Quanzhou, a small city in China, but I don’t like it because of the large population and terrible traffic .

I dream about living in a small town. In this town, the air is fresh. Rivers and roads are pretty clean. You can even see stars in the sky every night. But ①the most important thing is the population of this town must be very small. ②The larger population it has, the more social problems there will be. Besides, I think the public transportation should be excellent.③ I hope to live in a place which has few accidents.

④No matter where we live, we should live in the present. Let’s do our best to make our dream place come true.

教师点评：1、本文条理清晰，内容紧扣主题，从环境、人口、交通等方面描述自己的理想家园。

2、正确地使用了各种复杂句型, 如表语从句：①句；“the+比较级, the+比较级”

的句式：②句；定语从句：③句；让步状语从句：④句，这些都是亮点，为

文章画龙点睛。

初三年5班王哲轶

My hometown is really different fro m it was before. It has made great progress. Anyway, I’m still not satisfied with it.

My favorite city should have a small population, because the noise caused by the large population always makes me mad. What’s more, the city is filled with beautiful flowers and trees with bees dancing and birds singing. Then, I can walk along the river bank to enjoy the fresh air and the beautiful view.

If I can live in such a pleasant city, my heart will be full of happiness.

教师点评：本文紧扣主题，详略得当，观点明确。其中也出现不少优美词句，巧妙勾勒出作者心目中的美好家园，给读者呈现一个美好画面。值得借鉴。

初三6班曾鸿铭

I live in Cizao, a small town in Quanzhou. ①But I don’t really enjoy the life in Cizao, because the population is large and the roads are crowded there. What’s worse, the roads are not smooth at all.

②The town which I like must have a small population with fresh air and smooth roads. The traffic should not be too bad and （the）public transportation should be excellent. People can have a walk after dinner, enjoying the fresh air and we don’t have to worry about the bad traf fic any longer.

③That’s the city that I really want to live in. I hope my dream can come true one day.

教师点评：本文结构清晰，内容完整，过渡自然；全文连贯、通顺；①句表明观点②二句的开头过渡到本文的主体。③句点题。文章语言朴实无华，但却清楚明了，不

失为一篇好文章。

初三7班庄煜权

My hometown is Quanzhou. I’m satisfied with it because the n atural environment here is wonderful. However, it’s not the place I like best.

In my opinion, the air should be fresh and the rivers should be clean in my dream city. The