各种英语冷笑话大全
10个冻死人的英语冷笑话,真冷~
10个冻死人的英语冷笑话，真冷~——今天口语君给大家分享10个英语句子里的笑话咱么一起感受英语冷笑话的冷！1、涨潮和海滩—What did the beach say as the tide came in？涨潮时，海滩说了什么？—Long time, no sea.笑点解析：海滩说Long time, no sea，既是“很久没有海水”的意思，又可以理解为“好久不见（Long time no see）”。
2、大象与老鼠—Why won’t the elephant use the puter?为啥大象不用电脑？—He’s afraid of the mouse!因为害他怕老鼠。
笑点解析：“老鼠”和“鼠标”的英文都是mouse，这里有一语双关的意思。
3、6和7、8、9—why is 6 afraid of 7？为什么6害怕7？—Because 7,8,9.因为7,8,9。
笑点解析：7、 8 、9， seven eight nine，与7 ate 9同音；7把9给吃掉了，所以6害怕7，因为它会吃掉9；（ate 是“吃”的过去式）4、毯子的掩护—What did the blanket say to the bed?毯子对床说了什么？—Don’t worry. I got you covered.别担心，我掩护你。
笑点解析：cover有“覆盖”的意思，也有“掩护”的意思。
5、不能站立的自行车—Why can't a bike stand up on it's own?自行车为什么不能站起来？—Because it's two tired.笑点解析：两个轮子two tired听起来像too tired。
6、关于巧合Whenever someone says， "I don't believe in coincidences."I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"每当有人说：“我不相信巧合。
读英文的笑话
读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
冷笑话英语
冷笑话英语1. Why is the doctor so angry? Because the patient said, "Doc, I think I'm a moth!" And the doctor replied, "Well, why don't you go to the light then?"2. Isn't it funny how a fish can drown? Just like a bird can't swim!3. You know what's hilarious? A snowman walking into a bar and asking for a glass of water. The bartender says, "We don't serve snowmen here!"4. Have you heard the one about the piano? It had a hard time finding its keys!5. How can you tell if a vampire is sick? He starts looking pale!6. Isn't it crazy that a magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store?7. You know what's a real knee-slapper? A turtle gets mugged by two snails. The police ask him, "What happened?" And the turtle says, "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"8. Have you ever thought about why the mushroom is always invited to parties? Because he's a fungi!9. Isn't it strange that the skeleton didn't want to go to the party? He had no body to go with!10. Do you know what's funny about a pen? It has a lot of point!My view is that these cold joke English examples are really interesting and can bring a lot of laughs. They are simple and easy to understand, and can make people have a good mood.。
英文冷笑话
英文冷笑话英文冷笑话，是一种让人感到微妙的幽默。
它不是那种让人大笑的搞笑，而是一种让人感到好笑却又无法表达的感觉。
在这篇文章中，我们将介绍一些英文冷笑话，希望能让你感受到这种微妙的幽默。
1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!这个笑话的意思是，番茄变红是因为它看到了沙拉酱，而沙拉酱通常是用来和番茄一起吃的。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的意外性和无厘头。
2. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide!这个笑话的意思是，鸡穿过游乐场是为了到达另一个滑梯。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'slide' 既可以指滑梯，也可以指幻灯片。
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?Because it felt crummy!这个笑话的意思是，饼干去看医生是因为它感觉不好。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'crummy' 既可以指不好的感觉，也可以指饼干的质地。
4. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!这个笑话的意思是，自行车倒下是因为它太累了。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'two-tired' 既可以指太累了，也可以指自行车有两个轮子。
5. Why did the banana go to the doctor?Because it wasn't peeling well!这个笑话的意思是，香蕉去看医生是因为它的剥皮不太好。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'peeling' 既可以指剥皮，也可以指身体的状况。
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!这个笑话的意思是，稻草人获得了奖项是因为他在他的领域里非常杰出。
英语幽默小笑话100个
英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。
英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。
以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
简短英语冷笑话
简短英语冷笑话笑话一：Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience （因为他没有耐心呀。
）patience 既有“耐心”的意思，又有“病人”的意思，一语双关，是不是有点小意外？笑话二：What has four wheels and flies? （什么东西有四个轮子还会飞？）A garbage truck! （垃圾车！）因为 garbage truck（垃圾车）在运输垃圾的时候，垃圾会到处飞，所以说它有四个轮子还会“飞”，是不是很有趣？笑话三：What do you call a fish with no eyes? （你把没有眼睛的鱼叫什么？）Fsh （鱼。
）因为没有“i”（眼睛）就成了“fsh”，这种简单的文字游戏，让人忍不住笑出声。
笑话四：Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? （为什么鼻子不能长 12 英寸？）Because then it would be a foot （因为那样它就成一只脚了。
）这里巧妙地利用了“foot”既有“英尺”又有“脚”的意思。
笑话五：What did the zero say to the eight? （0 对 8 说了什么？）Nice belt! （漂亮的腰带！）8 看起来就像系了腰带的 0，是不是很形象？笑话六：Why don't scientists trust atoms? （为什么科学家不相信原子？）Because they make up everything! （因为它们构成了一切！）“make up”既有“组成、构成”的意思，又有“编造”的意思，这个双关真的很妙。
笑话七：What's the longest word in the English language? （英语中最长的单词是什么？）Smiles Because there is a mile between its first and last letters （Smiles 因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里。
英语幽默冷笑话12篇搞笑阅读
英语幽默冷笑话12篇搞笑阅读一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语幽默冷笑话12篇，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!英语幽默冷笑话：Imitation 模仿A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。
来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。
吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。
英语幽默冷笑话：Fried chickenIn class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
英语幽默笑话汇总
英语幽默笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话大全，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话一：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。
”酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。
”英语幽默笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
经典英语冷笑话
经典英语冷笑话下面是店铺整理的经典英语冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!经典英语冷笑话一:1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
经典英语冷笑话二：2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来!经典英语冷笑话三：3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
经典英语冷笑话四：4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。
经典英语冷笑话五：5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable,gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!经典英语冷笑话六：The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel.一对新婚夫妇走进位于迈阿密海滩旅馆的电梯。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
经典英语冷笑话7篇
经典英语冷笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的经典英语冷笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语冷笑话：Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。
”经典英语冷笑话：ImprovementOne student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?""Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."进步一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”经典英语冷笑话：The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog."It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?""Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, butdoes the dog know the proverb, too?"一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
英语搞笑冷笑话12篇
英语搞笑冷笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑冷笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语搞笑冷笑：交通事故A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign (i)his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。
路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。
刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。
过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个“S”。
”英语搞笑冷笑话：写给上帝的信A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington,D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.有个小男孩非常需要50美元，他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话四：What do you get vampire? Frostbite! 当你把雪人和吸血鬼混合在一起，得到什么？冻伤！
这个笑话利用了两个不相干的元素进行组合，形成了一个令人忍俊不禁的效果。
通过学习和理解这些搞笑的英语笑话带翻译，我们不仅能够提高英语水平，还能更好地了解英语国家的文化和幽默传统。同时，也能够在日常生活中运用这些幽默的表达方式，增进与人的交流，营造轻松愉快的氛围。笑话不仅给人带来快乐，还能够增进人与人之间的情感交流，是一种很好的社交工具。所以，多多学习和分享笑话，让幽默成为我们生活中的一部分。
这些英语笑话不仅仅是用语言表达幽默，还是一种思维的创新，是一种跨文化交流的方式。这些笑话在英语国家以及全球广泛传播，无论是孩子还是成年人，都能从中获得快乐。笑话的翻译也是一项挑战，需要保持原意的幽默，同时还要符合另一种语言的表达习惯和文化背景。所以，将这些笑话翻译成其他语言需要一定的语言功底和文化素养。
笑话二：What do you call a bear with no teeth? Gummy bear! 没有牙齿的熊叫什么？软糖熊！
这个笑话利用了音近字的幽默，gummy bear在英语中有两个意思，一个是指一种软糖，另一个是指没有牙齿的熊。所以这个笑话的答案就是双关，又引人发笑。
笑话三：Why don't skeletons fight each other? Because they don't have the guts! 为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有内脏！
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话一：Why did the bicycle fall over? 因为它们两轮中的一个。
超级经典英语冷笑话大全
超级经典英语冷笑话大全笑话是幽默的一种形式,玩笑的目的就是逗乐、引人笑。
幽默当然不只是笑话,幽默有许多其他的表达形式,如插科打诨的滑稽、相声等。
下面是店铺带来的超级经典英语冷笑话，欢迎阅读!超级经典英语冷笑话篇一The Easter Bunny,an honest lawyer, Santa Claus and a drunk find a fifty-dollar bill together. Can you guess who gets to keep it?复活兔、诚实的律师、圣诞老人和一个醉汉同时看到一张50美元的钞票。
你能猜到是谁会保留它吗?Of course, it's the drunk because the other three don't exist.当然是醉汉了，因为其他三个并不存在。
超级经典英语冷笑话篇二A boy told his mom she was awful at raising kids.一个男孩告诉他妈妈，说她在养育孩子方面做得很糟糕。
She replied,"Hold your tongue. That's not truel"这位母亲回嘴说：“住口，那不是真的”The boy said, "Then why do you send me tO bed when l'm not tired and wake me up in the morning when l am ? "男孩说：¨那为什么你总是在我不困的时候叫我上床睡觉，在早上我困的时候叫醒我?超级经典英语冷笑话篇三Ten men applied for a job as an industrial spy. The interviewer gave each man a sealed envelope. They were ordered to deliver it to the fifth floor.有10个男人去应征产业间谍的工作。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。
到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。
第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes，do you need a partner ?"“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
英语经典冷笑话
英语经典冷笑话1. A boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."(一个男孩吞下了一些硬币，被送往医院。
当他奶奶打电话来问他的情况时，一位护士说：“还没有找零。
”)2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!(为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们组成了一切！)3. Teacher: How can we get some clean water?Student: Bring the water from the cleaner's.(老师：我们怎样才能得到一些干净的水？学生：从清洁工那里带水。
)4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!(为什么稻草人赢得了奖项？因为他在自己的领域里是杰出的！)5. Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a rubber band.Doctor: Stretch yourself and prove it.(病人：医生，我觉得我是一根橡皮筋。
医生：伸展一下自己来证明吧。
)6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.(我曾经靠曲调弹奏钢琴，但现在我用我的手。
)7. Why don’t skeletons fight each oth er?They don’t have the guts.(为什么骷髅不互相战斗？因为他们没有胆量。
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英语冷笑话大全ImprovementOne student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."进步一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
To Go to HeavenSunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? Y ou haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven?Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.去天堂主日学校的教员：想去天堂的人举起手来，把手举起来。
你呢，哈里?你还没举手呢-- 你不想去天堂吗?哈里：我去不了，因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。
How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子?老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子?乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只?乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."作文老师给学生出了个作文题：“一场板球赛”。
两分钟后，西蒙。
斯蒂尔交了作文，老师允许他回家了。
他在作文上写道：“下雨，比赛终止。
”Who Discovered Australia?Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.Johnny: It's there, sir.Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia? Sammy: Johnny, sir.谁发现了澳大利亚?老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼：先生，在这儿。
老师：对了。
萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?萨默：先生，是约翰尼。
LightningTeacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice? Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方?罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。
The Climate of New ZealandTeacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.Teacher: Wrong.Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
My Sister's FingersTeacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home. Teacher: I don't see any bandages.Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
All Except the MusicA keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?" "Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is." 除了音乐一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。
为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。
在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。
”The plural Form of "Child"Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?Tom: Men.Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?Tom: Twins."孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，…男人‟这个词的复数形式是什么?汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。
那…孩子‟的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。
When Do People Talk Least?Student A: When do people talk least?Student B: In February.Student A: Why?Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.人们什么时候说话最少?学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
The Reason of Being LateTeacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.迟到的原因老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着…学校-缓行‟。
He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。