英语笑话(双语对照版)
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
简短英文冷笑话带翻译
简短英文冷笑话带翻译笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。
店铺整理了简短英文冷笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短英文冷笑话带翻译篇一人的回答A husband said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish'?"一位丈夫对妻子说：“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。
上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。
上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。
”简短英文冷笑话带翻译篇二妻子的祈求Two men were talking at the break-room. One was telling the other about a fight he had had with his wife. "In the end"he said, "I had her begging on her knees."两位男士正在休息室淡论着。
一位对另一位说起他与妻子的一场争斗。
他说：“最后，我迫使她跪下来求我。
”"What did she say?" asked the coworker.“她怎么求你的?”另一位很好奇。
"She told me to come out from under the bed."“她求我快点从床下爬出来。
有关英语的笑话带翻译简短
有关英语的笑话带翻译简短有关英语的笑话带翻译简短笑话由于其滑稽可笑的特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。
小编精心收集了有关简短英语的笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!有关简短英语的笑话带翻译篇1A Stubborn HorseThe great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery.For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, hepronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly beganreading it aloud:"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed.""Stubborn horse," explained the writer.倔强的马大作家疯了，但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。
六个月以来，他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。
终于，他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。
医生急切地大声朗读起来：“杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马，喊道：‘驾，驾，驾，驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。
“五百页纸竟全是‘驾，驾’!”他惊奇地说。
英语笑话加翻译
英语笑话加翻译笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。
下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话带翻译篇一个人理财(双语阅读)A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.身上无钱，市场疾行There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.曾经有一个富人快要死了，他租伤心，因为为了钱他才拼命工作，他想把钱带着一起上天堂，因此他开始祈祷恳求他能随身带一些财产.A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.对不起.你不能带走财产。
B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?你跟上帝说说情吧，看能否网开一面?(Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.)他继续祈祷能带上财产，天使又出现了。
A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.上帝允许你随身带一个手提箱。
(Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.富人欣喜若狂，拿了他最大的手提箱，里面装满了金条，然后放在床边。
关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选
关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：给我捎杯牛奶At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。
” 科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。
刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。
”关于爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：婚姻的成本A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"And the fatherreplied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”“我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.
Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的.时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
迪克问：像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译一：How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选冷笑话作为一种新兴的口头文类,有其鲜明的特色,而现有的定义和分类却把冷笑话作为一种既成文本来加以分析,忽略了其生存语境。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选(一)我跟她还不熟Not Knowing Her WellWife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?妻子：比尔，住在对面那所房子的那个男人早上出门前总要吻一下妻子，晚上回来时再吻一下，你为什么不那样做呢?Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.丈夫：哦，我跟她还不是很熟。
(二)袋鼠的能耐 What Kangaroos Can DoThe zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the nextmorning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increasedto 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the heightincreased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How highdo you think they’ll build the fence?”动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
经典英文笑话集锦(双语对照)
经典英文笑话集锦(双语对照)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"呵呵,一个比一个效率高.Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水"My Baby Swallowed a BulletYoung Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."Notes1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹2. to point at: 对...瞄准个中意味自己体会吧:)AllybabyOnce two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
经典中英文对照笑话大全
经典中英文对照笑话大全幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。
下面是店铺带来的经典中英文对照笑话，欢迎阅读!经典中英文对照笑话篇一After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said,"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。
他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。
当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。
”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”经典中英文对照笑话篇二A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.The officer asked how he could reward him."The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.If the other fellows know I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。
英语笑话多则(中英文双语)
英语笑话多则（中英文双语）你远看像个要饭的，近看像个捡破烂的，仔细一看，原来是个看短消息的。
From a long ditance,you looks like a beggar;from a short distance,you looks like somebody who is picking ods and ends from refuse heaps;but if I give a careful look,in fact you are looking at the short message of your mobile phone.“何谓祸不单行？”“未婚妈妈生生双双胞！”"What does it mean that misfortunes never come singly?""The unmaried mother gave birth to the twins."天下雨了是云儿哭了，爱人走了是爱情输了，风儿累了是要去睡了，夕阳醉了是要下坠了，看短信的小猪傻哈哈地笑了。
It's raining for the cloud is crying;the lover goes away for the love loses;the wind stops for it is tired;the sun is setting for it is drunk;the piggy is laughing for it is looking at the short messages.我非常喜欢你！所以很想泡你！但一直没有机会，直到......直到水开为止。
车仔牌乌龙茶包，我喜欢。
I like yo very much,so I want to steep you.But there is lack of opportunity,until the water is boiling.The woolong tea with Chezai brand.如果上天再给我一次机会的话，我会对你说：得了吧，让我歇歇吧！If the glory God gives me another chance,I will say to you:"Just drop the matter,let me take a rest."你长得很有创意，活着是你的勇气，丑陋并非你的本意，如果没有你，谁来衬托世界的美丽。
英语笑话3篇带翻译精选
英语笑话3篇带翻译精选把修辞格有意识地运用到笑话幽默的创作中去,能够为人们提供更好的精神产品。
下面是店铺带来的英语笑话100篇带翻译，欢迎阅读! 英语笑话100篇带翻译精选快乐并不富裕(中英)An old rich man died and left his son a lot of money. But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money，so that soon he had nothing left. Of course, when that happened, all his friends left him. When he was quite poor and alone，he went to see Mildred, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.一个已故的老富翁留给了他的儿子一大笔财产。
但是他的儿子是个愚蠢的年青人，他很快就挥霍完了所有的钱财，变得一无所有了。
当然，当他变成了一个穷光蛋的时候，他所有的朋友都离他而去了。
他穷困潦倒而又孤苦伶仃，于是，他去看望了米尔德里德，一个和蔼、聪明的老人，他经常帮助那些深处困境的人们。
"My money has finished and my friends have gone，”said the young man. "What will happen to me now?"“我的钱全都花光了，我的朋友也都离开我了，”年轻人说，“我该怎么办呢?”"Don’t worry, young man,” answered Mildred, "Everything will soon be all right again. Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.”“不要担心，年轻人，”米尔德里德说，“一切很快就会变好的。
简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【导语】笑话⼀般指短⼩、滑稽的故事,是⼀种民间⼝头创作形式,在民间⽂化中以⼝⼝相传的形式传播。
以下是由整理了简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!【篇⼀】简短英语笑话带翻译 Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. ⽼师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是⼗分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
⽼师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成⼗分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇⼆】简短英语笑话带翻译 One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." ⼀位学⽣对另⼀位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国⼈说话，可现在是英国⼈不懂我的话了。
” 简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么⾛ An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. "Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?" The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!" 有个很健忘的⼈站在车⽔马龙的⼗字路⼝正中央，那⾥有个警察正忙着指挥交通，⽽他不断地去⼲扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚⽅向。
经典英文笑话加翻译大全
经典英文笑话加翻译大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的经典英文笑话加翻译，欢迎阅读!经典英文笑话加翻译篇一Don't Get Caught!不要被逮着了!Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd hadany luck.在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。
"No,nothing today,but you should see me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning andanother twelve in the afternoon!"“今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。
昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"“哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?”"No."“不知道。
”"I happen to be the game warden."“我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。
”"Oh.And do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on."“哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。
”经典英文笑话加翻译篇二Learning to Share学习共同分享Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the biggerpiece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.强尼把一块派一分为二，把大的留给自己，小的给他妹妹。
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译笑话对人有非常多的好处，看笑话变得快乐使生活变得更加的舒心哦。
店铺整理了关于超短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇一服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!1美元你想要什么——活的?aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!What do you expect for $1 - a live one?关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇二服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。
对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk? 关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇三服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇四Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇五服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系，先生，它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.。
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译爆笑英语小笑话带翻译（精选5篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
以下是店铺精心收集了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习！爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的'时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀！”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。
”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
英语笑话(双语对照版)
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄 悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客 人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
Businessjuststarted 开张大吉 A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it
furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
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Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回 答,“买画的人是你的医生”。 Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with
on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you. “你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信,先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦,那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后,她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry." Jim 和 Mary 都是精神病院里的病人。一天,他们沿着医院的游泳池散步,Jim 突然跳入泳
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."
一天,一个女孩把男孩子带回家见父亲,说要跟这个男孩结婚。她父亲跟男孩谈了一会之 后,对她说她不能嫁给这个男孩,因为男孩跟她其实是同父异母的兄弟。之后,女孩又认识了另 外四个男孩并一一带回家见父亲,请求父亲同意他们结婚,但结果都是一样,这些男孩竟然跟 她都是同父异母!女孩真的是被气坏了。她跟母亲说,“妈,你这一辈子到底是怎么过的?爸爸 在镇上到处胡搞,现在我都谈到第五个男孩了,但现在一个都不能嫁,因为他们最后都是跟我 一个爸爸”!
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。“这有好消息和坏消息,”老 板回答。“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。我告诉 他你的画会升值,他就把你的 15 幅画全都买走了。”
“有事,我是来给你开通电话的”。
你可以跟他们中任何一个结婚 One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After
talking to him for a while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
好消息＆坏消息！ An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on
display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
一个年轻人的公司刚刚开张。他租用了漂亮的办公室,办公室内还放上了古董作装饰。 这天,这位年轻人正在办公室里面坐着,他看到一个男的走进了办公室。为显示他是个成功的 老板,这位年轻的生意人拿起电话假装正在谈大买卖,张觜就是三、五个亿,闭觜就说一切搞 定、没问题!好不容易电话“打”完,挂上听筒,年轻人问进来的那人,“您有事吗?”那人说,
Businessjuststarted 开张大吉 A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it
furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
池的深水区,他沉到了底部。Mary 立刻跳下去救他,她潜到水底,把 Jim 拉了上来。 当院长听闻了 Mary 的英勇行为后,他立刻翻看了她的病历档案,把她叫进了自己的办公
室,“Mary,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,这说 明你的意识已经恢复了,你可以出院了。坏消息就是,Jim,你救的那个病人,他还是用自己的浴 袍带子在浴室上吊自杀了。”