爆笑经典儿童英语笑话大全

爆笑经典儿童英语笑话大全

A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year. . . unless it is the only food in the fridge.

The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

My three-year-old daughter and I went shopping with my mother.

She is a rather large woman, Mom sometimes has a tough time finding just the right fit.

When my mother picked out a yellow suit, my daughter went into the dressing room with her.

A moment later Mom asked her how she liked the outfit.

My daughter replied, "Oh, Nana, you look so pretty... just like a big yellow school bus."

The suit stayed in the dressing room.

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.

Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

One day a little girl went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?"

Her mother stammered a bit, but finally regained her composure. She thought it must be time that her daughter learned the facts of life.

So, she told her daughter about how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born.

As she explained, her daughter's eyes got wider and wider.

When she was finished, the little girl said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Joe told me. He said that he came from Virginia."

It was little Michael's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him.

Early one morning, Michael caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting around in the yard. Rushing indoors excitedly, Michael looked for his grandmother.

"Oh, Granny," he exclaimed, "one of the chickens is in bloom!"

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