最新爆笑的经典英语小笑话
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话,希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话:智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生,你能不能告诉我,”鲍勃问,“对于一个看上去很正常的人,你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了,”医生回答,“问他一个简单的问题,简单到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不干脆,那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话(精选15篇) 在繁忙的学习⼯作中,适时读⼀些幽默笑话,放松⾃⼰,劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦,让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说:你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答:‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师:这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣:我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师:请说说看. 学⽣:燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆:约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said: “Good evening,professor.How are you? “Well,” answered the professor,“I thought I was all right when I left home,but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天,⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛,他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥,另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
英语搞笑笑话12篇
英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话:两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街,第一颗番茄突然走得很快,第二颗番茄就问:“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答,第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄还没回答,所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说:“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话:相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵,勤务兵也退休在家。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.
Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..
迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的.时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说:喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块。不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
迪克问:像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译一:How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇,欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一:Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上,先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二:太黑了,看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子,骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求,她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说:“他三十五岁,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮,体重185磅,说话很轻,而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说:"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟的,秃头,有一个太嘴巴,而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说:“你说对了,可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说:“妈妈,今天早上和爸爸在公车上时,he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说:“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是,妈妈,我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养,Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾,床单,餐具,或者墙上的画。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话,希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译:鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译:一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
英语幽默短笑话10篇
英语幽默短笑话10篇英语幽默短笑话1.Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克:妈妈,我想看电视。
妈妈:今晚停电了。
迈克:那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
英语幽默短笑话2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
英语幽默短笑话3.Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短,希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
幽默英语小笑话12篇
幽默英语小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的幽默英语小笑话,希望大家会喜欢!幽默英语小笑话:The MonkeyA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。
”幽默英语小笑话:绝配A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?""Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."一个富有的主妇很是骄傲因为她收藏了一件非常有价值的古董花瓶,于是她决定把卧室粉刷成与花瓶同样的颜色。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑_50个英语笑话爆笑超短
英文笑话带翻译爆笑_50个英语笑话爆笑超短爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一笨小孩A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.一个小男孩走进一家理发店,理发师低声对他的顾客说,“我再也没见过比这个小子更笨的小孩了,你看着,我证明给你看。
”" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上,另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币,把小孩叫跟前问,“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的?”when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.理发师说,“那小子就不会学精点!” 过了一会,顾客离开了理发店,他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?“嘿,小家伙! 我可以问你个问题吗?Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"你为什么不拿那一美元,而拿那两个25 美分呢?”The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说,“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票,以后那剪头的再也不会给我钱了!”爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二五百遍In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through ared light.一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译爆笑英语小笑话带翻译(精选5篇)笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
以下是店铺精心收集了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁,发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的'时候,他的妻子一直大惊小怪,神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说:“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生:“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说:“不用,这些药不是给他吃的,是给你吃的,你需要。
”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英语笑话大全爆笑爆笑
英语笑话大全爆笑爆笑经典英语小笑话大全爆笑经典英语小笑话大全爆笑经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一寻找出纳员Looking for a Cashier There was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, “Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier,“ and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago." So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That"s the one we"re looking for now." So the friend said, "Can you describe him What does he look like" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we"re about) one hundred thousand dollars short." 晚宴上,有位银行家坐在那儿,他的朋友问他:“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳,是吗”银行家回答:“是的,我们是在找。
”朋友说:“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗” 银行家说:“我们确实是雇用了一个人,而我们现在就是在找这个人。
” 那个友人说:“你说说看他长什么样子”银行家回答:“他是五尺(无耻) 之士,身长(藏)十万。
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爆笑的经典英语小笑话
英语笑话(一)
老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。
”
小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?
小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
英语笑话(二)
某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!
英语笑话(三)
江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。
外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?" 外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."
翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."
英语笑话(四)
话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」
轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
英语笑话(五)
某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.
老外应道:I am sorry too.
某人听后又道:I am sorry three.
老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?
某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.
英语笑话(六)
一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”
日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
英语笑话(七)
英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思”
学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”
老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?”
这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。
”
英语笑话(八)
某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.“
该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?“
男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”
英语笑话(九)
一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答:right.
于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
英语笑话(十)
传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世,上帝搞错了,把克林顿送上了天堂,而把教皇送入了
地狱。
发现错误后上帝马上改了回来,路上二人相遇。
教皇:感谢上帝,我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了(Virgin Maria).
克林顿(坏笑中):Sorry,it"s too late.
英语笑话(十一)
A:What’s on your hand?
B:Watch.
A:How to spell that?
B:T-H-A-T~
英语笑话(十二)
女:say“i love you”,say it,come on!say it!
男:it!
第五章生态系统及其稳定性复习测试
台山一中大江实验中学许楚山
总分100分时间60分钟
一.选择题:本题共30小题,每题2分,共60分。
每小题给出的四个选项中,只有一个
..选项最符合题目要求。
1、在我国西部大开发战略中,“保护天然林”和“退耕还林(草)”是两项重要内容。
采取这两项措施的首要目标是()
A、开展生态旅游
B、发展畜牧业
C、增加木材产量
D、改善生态环境
解析:D
2.下列生物中,全部属于生产者的一组是()
A.海带、梨树、酵母菌 B. 蘑菇、水绵、洋葱
C.马铃薯、菠菜、乳酸菌 D. 硝化细菌、紫菜、苹果树
解析:D
3.下列不属于生态系统中分解者的是()
A.硝化细菌B.蘑菇
C.酵母菌D.霉菌
解析:A
4.春暖花开,蜜蜂忙着在花丛中采蜜。
招引蜜蜂采蜜的信息属于( )
A.物理信息B.化学信息C.行为信息D.声信息
解析:C
5.生态系统的能量流动是指( )
A.太阳能被绿色植物固定的过程
B.系统内生物体能量代谢的过程
C.生态系统中能量的输入,传递,转化,和散失过程
D.能量从生物体进入环境的过程
解析:C
6.在浮游植物→小鱼→海豹→虎鲸这条食物链中,鲸增加1 kg体重,至少消费浮游植物的量为()A.1 kg B.10 kg C.125 kg D.1000 kg
解析:C
7.以虫治虫是生态农业的重要内容,下图表示某一生系统中四种生物所含有机物的总量。
假设这四种生物只构成一条食物链。
请问在一段时间内,如果甲的种群数量增加,其可能引起的后果是()A.乙和丁的种群数量都增加。