10个英文小笑话
英语幽默的小笑话精选
英语幽默的小笑话精选篇一：英语小笑话集锦英语幽默小笑话1、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.”What did you do with the money （that/which/不填）I gave you yesterday?”“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You are a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”“She is the one who sells the candy.”好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。
”他回答说。
“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”2、Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?”asked his mother.“I?d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”他的耳朵在我的衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“咬了我一口。
”说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。
”3、Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow（燕子）, the other is sparrow（麻雀）. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
简短英语笑话带翻译
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
Translation:
一堵墙对另一堵墙说了什么？
“我会在拐角处等你！”
Joke 5:
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
She gave me a hug.
Translation:
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误。
她给了我一个拥抱。
Joke 9:
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Translation:
我过去用耳朵弹钢琴，但现在我用手。
Joke 10:
It was two-tired.
Translation:
为什么自行车自己站不起来？
因为它太累了。
Joke 6:
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea.
Translation:
当潮水涨上来时，海滩说了什么？
好久不见。
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can't seem to put it down.
Translation:
我正在读一本关于胶水历史的书。
我似乎就是放不下它。
ห้องสมุดไป่ตู้以上是一些简短有趣的英语笑话，希望能给你带来一些快乐！
Title: Short English Jokes with Translation
2021让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话-10条最短的英语笑话
2021让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话:10条最短的英语笑话让人笑掉大牙的英语笑话篇一Getting into His Work 专注于工作The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession. 一位神父非常关切教区内一位年轻美丽的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住处讨论她的忏悔。
;Now, let me get this straight,; said the priest. ;This young man you went out with--did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?; ;现在让我把事情搞清楚，;神父说道;，这个年轻人跟你出去他是不是像这样把他的手臂绕在你的肩膀?; ;Yes, Father, and worse.; ;是的，神父，还有更糟的事情呢。
; ;And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?; ;他也像这样把手放在你的大腿上吗?; ;Yes, Father, and worse.; ;是的，神父，还有更坏的呢。
; By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl’s skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. ;And did he do this?; he inquired.此时神父已被刺激得兴奋莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元气充沛地和她做起爱来;，他也这样做吗?;神父问道。
;Yes, Father, and worse.; ;是的，神父，还有更糟的呢!; ;But what could be worse than what I just did?; ;有什么还比我刚刚所做的更糟呢?; ;I’m afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap.; ;恐怕，神父，他把淋病传染给我了。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
英语小笑话
英语小笑话（1）不差钱Looking very unhappy,a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room. 一个愁容满面的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
"Doctor,"he said,"you must help me.I swallowed a penny abouta month ago.""大夫！"他说，"你一定要帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！" "Good heavens,man!"said the doctor."Why have you waited so lo ng?Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?""天哪，你这个人啊"大夫说，"早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？" "To tell you the truth,Doctor,"the poor man replied,"I didn't need the money so badly then.""实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱！"英语小笑话（2）迟到了！Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow ".老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".英语小笑话（3）你会说什么How much English can you speak?"Your Honor,I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York Ci ty a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more,he on ly speaks a few words of English."The judge looked at the defendant and asked,"How much English c an you speak?"The defendant looked up and said,"Give me your wallet!""法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一：英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑
![[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/0d06370c998fcc22bdd10d0f.png)
[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑11则英文爆笑故事11则英文爆笑故事英文爆笑故事1：Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man，but I can“t helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.” 工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
” 雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。
” 英文爆笑故事2：Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it” “Why，Seth Smith，who is too lazy to get anything to liveon，so we are going to bury him alive.” “I“ll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head，Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head，he said：“ Drive on，boys，drive on.” 塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
[简短的英文笑话大全]20个英语笑话爆笑超短
![[简短的英文笑话大全]20个英语笑话爆笑超短](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/280bb36f7f21af45b307e87101f69e314332fa05.png)
[简短的英文笑话大全]20个英语笑话爆笑超短简短的爆笑英文笑话：笨小孩Ayoungboyenterabarberhopandthebarberwhipertohicutomer...,"Th iithedumbetkidintheworld.WatchwhileIproveittoyou.一个小男孩走进一家理发店，理发师低声对他的顾客说，“我再也没见过比这个小子更笨的小孩了，你看着，我证明给你看。
”"Thebarberputadollarbillinonehandandtwoquarterintheother,the ncalltheboyoverandak,"Whichdoyouwant,on"Theboytakethequarterandl eave.理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上，另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币，把小孩叫跟前问，“你想要哪只手上的”男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。
"WhatdidItellyou"aidthebarber."Thatkidneverlearn!"Later,“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的”理发师说，“那小子就不会学精点!”过了一会，顾客离开了理发店，他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。
"Hey,on!MayIakyouaquetion“嘿，小家伙!我可以问你个问题吗Whydidyoutakethequarterinteadofthedollarbill"你为什么不拿那一美元，而拿那两个25美分呢”Theboylickedhiconeandreplied,"BecauethedayItakethedollar,the game'over!小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说，“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票，以后那剪头的再也不会给我钱了!”简短的爆笑英文笑话：DumbledoreIwaodrunklatnightthatItotallypaedout.昨晚我喝得太多几乎彻底晕过去了。
英语笑话大全
英语笑话大全1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!7. What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh!8. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!9. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!11. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?Nothing, it just let out a little wine!13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?In case he got a hole in one!14. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!15. Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!16. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!17. What did one hat say to the other hat?You stay here, I'll go on ahead!18. What do you call a bear with no teeth and no ears?Anything you want, it can't hear you!19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!20. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是一些英语笑话，希望你能喜欢！。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
三一文库（）〔最搞笑的英语小笑话十则〕*篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
”小明上英文课时跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?老师说：Goahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet?老师说：Goahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："MissJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where?Where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere,everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语小笑话20篇
英语小笑话20篇英语小笑话（一）：A Useful Way 一个有效的方法Father: Jack，why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple，Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
英语小笑话（二）：我根本就看不见After supper，the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。
At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV，"Honey，go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while，her son returnedand said，"Ma，the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。
"晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”英语小笑话（三）：Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom，why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I e to the corner，a sign says，School-Go Slow。
英文小笑话集锦
英文小笑话集锦1、它咬人吗Does He BiteReggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？里基：这正是我想要查明的。
2、两块蛋糕Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！3、不算太坏Not too BadDid you sell any of your paintings at the art show?""No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。
”4、A Silly Father 傻爸爸Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became veryangry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son and I dare to beat yours.怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。
语法书英文小笑话
1、Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！2、It's not my faultMother (is reprimanding训斥，谴责her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.不是我的错妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
3、The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog."It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?""Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。
’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”4、On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
英语笑话
1 “I am sorry”。
“I am sorry，too” 外国人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。
“I am sorry five” 我说……。
2 How Did You Ever Get Here One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two." The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?" "I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."3 起名字的问题：中西方都不愿意以献花、野草起名字，什么牡丹玫瑰，小> 红小翠了，一听就变味了；张建、李建，但不能叫范建（贱）了；北京以前有个建> （贱）人学校，你打电话咨询，服务小姐会说：您好，贱人。
4 I have a dream ……中国连续7年大丰收，美国连续7年大旱，颗粒无收，美> 国立即由超级大国沦落为第三世界发展中国家。
很多美国人梦想到中国来，我们就让> 他们考汉语托福、 GRE，考文言文太简单了，要考就考甲骨文，而且规定只能用毛> 笔、龟壳答题，第一题就考活雷锋与活蜜蜂的关系，分值50分！5上课我没什么要求大家的，你们只要keep mind active, make yourself> comfortable就可以了。
经典英语内涵笑话大全
经典英语内涵笑话大全笑话和幽默的感染力,很大程度上依赖于修辞格的运用。
把修辞格有意识地运用到笑话幽默的创作中去,能够为人们提供更好的精神产品。
下面是店铺带来的经典英语内涵笑话，欢迎阅读!经典英语内涵笑话篇一Pa won't like it 爸爸会不高兴的It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.一个农家小孩好像意外打翻了一车玉米，住在附近的一个农夫听见了，"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."喊道：“威利斯，先放那吧。
过来和我们呆会儿，一会儿我帮你扶起来。
”"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."“太好了”，威利斯答道，“但是爸爸会不高兴的。
”“哎呀，快来吧”，农夫仍然在坚持。
“好吧”，小男孩终于点头答应了，“但是爸爸真的会不高兴。
”After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile, "by the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."一顿丰盛的晚餐之后，威利斯向农夫表示感谢：“我觉得好多了，但是爸爸肯定很不高兴。
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10个英文小笑话1.A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。
”“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。
”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。
”2.周一早上....正在冲泡着浓郁的咖啡，一个有趣的对话发生了..."Daddy?How did I come into this world?"「爹地，我是怎么来到这世界的？」"Well,my child,someday I"ll have to tell you anyway."「哦，儿子啊，总有一天我会让你知道的。
」"So why not today?Please!"「拜托！为什么今天不行？」"OK,but listen carefully."「好吧，你仔细听着！」"Mom and Dad met each other in a cybercafe.「你妈和我在网吧相遇而认识，In the restroom sof that cybercafe,dad connected to mom.并在网吧的洗手间你妈和我使用了超级链接，Mom at that time made some downloads from dad"s memorystick.那时你妈从我的随身插硬盘下载一些数据，When dad finished up loading wed is covered we used no firewall.当我完成上传时，我们发现我们没有使用防火墙，Since it was too late to cancel or delete,因此，想要取消或删除都已为时太晚，nine months later we ended up with a virus."就这样，九个月以后我们最终生出一个病毒。
」3.Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。
我该不该借给他？Jack: Certainly.杰克：当然应该了。
Tom: And why?汤姆：为什么？Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
4.An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?''Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.''It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。
” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。
” 店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。
”“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。
”5.Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?Mr.Smith: Yes.Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？史密斯先生：是的。
约翰逊先生：太好了。
既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗？6.They Are Directly from AmericaNot long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。
这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。
”7.He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
8.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”9.A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”10.DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。